As much as Taehyung had though he'd never see Jungkook again, the boy came back a week later for an extra battery. Then another week after that for a polarizing filter because he had apparently taken an interest in landscape photography and he had read that a polarizer was a must. And yet another week after for a ND1000 filter. And a day after that he came back for a tripod because he had totally forgotten that a ND1000 filter required a super steady, absolutely immobile setup to work its magic. And then it was for an actual bag instead of his case, an extra memory card, a wrist strap, a hand strap, an even bigger bag. While he was there, they talked a little, and Taehyung learned that Jungkook had just turned nineteen - Taehyung would turn twenty-one that year -, was in school still, and that he had the cutest twinkle in his eyes when they were discussing photography. Jungkook was also apparently shier than Taehyung had thought at first, since he'd grow quieter the moment one of Taehyung's coworkers got closer to them, his voice getting lower and softer, like he didn't want anyone else but Taehyung to know more about him. When Taehyung would talk to him, he'd listen, his two front teeth showing slightly like a little bunny, and he looked like the most adorable guy Taehyung had seen in like, forever. He also smelled wonderful, and Taehyung absorbed that scent like a plant absorbed sunlight, drawn to it and breathing it in like it was the only thing his lungs could take in. The scent was a little dark, not exactly musky, but very manly and it somehow relaxed him in a way he didn't think was possible.

And then Jungkook would offer him a happy grin when they'd agree on something during a photo gear conversation. He was a customer, but a customer Taehyung actually enjoyed talking to, a customer Taehyung would have loved spending his entire day talking to. The best days were when Jungkook would come in for prints. They'd both sit at the ordering booth and and talk while the photos loaded, and while Jungkook was choosing photos and trying to decide which one - or ones - he wanted to get prints of. Sometimes the subject would deviate from those photos and they'd talk about more personal stuff. At such times, Taehyung would learn even more about Jungkook, like the fact that he had a brother, and that he was new in town, and that he liked working out at home with equipment he had gotten for his birthday - which explained why he was so y and why he always got Taehyung a little hot whenever he showed up.

But Taehyung was careful not to let Jungkook learn too much about him. He still had boundaries, barriers he didn't let anyone cross. Sometimes he wished he would - could - bring them down and just let someone in for once. But then he remembered every person who had ever used that breach to hurt him and he stiffened, refusing to do it again. Being hurt every single time he had ever dared let anyone get closer to him didn't make him very inclined to do it again. Jungkook didn't need to know that Taehyung lived alone in an apartment because he couldn't endure having most human beings in his general vicinity 24/7, didn't need to know that he was terrible at feeding himself properly, didn't need to know that he had four male pet rats because knowing that a tiny, living, loving creature - or four of them in his case - entirely depended on him to survive and live a happy life kept him going when his own survival wasn't enough to do so. He gave more to his rats than he generally did to himself, and half of the food he had was bought with his babies in mind, making sure he could share it with them without causing them any harm. He wasn't supposed to have pets in his apartment, but had asked his landlord and had gotten the approval. He could have gotten a hamster, but they were solitary and not affectionate enough for him. He could have gotten mice, but they apparently smelled very quickly. He could have gotten a ferret, but that smelled pretty strongly too. He could have gotten a lot of things, but in the end he had settled on rats because they were smart and affectionate, but also mostly unlovable animals in the mind of most people, and Taehyung kind of related to that. He had love to give, but nobody wanted it, nobody wanted to be around him. Rats were like him, in that way, full of love when properly raised, but despised by most people nonetheless.

Sometimes, he caught himself thinking that it would be fine with Jungkook. That this boy wouldn't hurt him. That he could finally have a true friend. The thought usually left pretty quickly. He could too easily imagine all the scenarios where this wouldn't go well. He had already lived through most of them and he had no plans to rediscover the pain first-hand. Yes, he was broken, and he knew he was projecting the past on the present, but he had tried, he had really tried to trust people before and it had always backfired. So he spoke to Jungkook, he learned more about him, but he made sure not to let him in too much although he really enjoyed his presence.

Eventually, however, it got to the point where Jungkook had bought pretty much everything he could ever need with his current student budget. All that was left was... well. Probably more lenses - that started at $500 and only went up from there - and knowledge, oh and practice too. So Taehyung suggested photography courses. They offered some at his job and had a teacher dedicated to those, and she was the sweetest lady Taehyung had ever met. The courses were nothing big or official, just something to open the eyes of anyone willing to listen, allowing them to better enjoy their photographic experience, to widen their horizons. Jungkook thought it was a great idea and made sure he'd participate in at least three of those - the two basic ones, to begin with, and also one on Lightroom. Once his spot was secured in all of those, he looked at Taehyung. He seemed a bit... weird? A bit... hopeful maybe?

"Would you... ah, no, never mind," he stopped himself before actually asking anything.
"Like to go shoot with you? You've... asked me before," Taehyung said quickly before his barrier could stop him.
"Ah! yeah. I uh... I did.
"I um... okay? I mean, I can try?"

That had sounded weird. Surely Jungkook would refuse going out on a photo walk with him now. But no. Instead, Taehyung saw the sparkle in Jungkook's eyes become fireworks as he grinned a full bunny smile, and he looked as if Taehyung had just told him he could like, cure any illness or something. Damn he looked gorgeous like that.

"That would be amazing! I don't like shooting alone, but I know I need to shoot to get better, and you're super cool, so I'd love to go shoot with you. What do we go for?"
"I'm usually into either macrophotography or animal photography, but I also like landscape quite a bit, and sometimes I do street and I enjoy it, although I don't get as many keepers during street outings."
"How about a quick walk nearby then? This isn't a good neighborhood, which means that crazy is bound to happen."
"Um, sure? When?"
"When you'll have a day off?"
"Okay?"

Jungkook grinned and patted Taehyung's arm gently, looking amused.

"Cool. You have my phone number in your system. It's my cellphone. Feel free to text me."

He then left and Taehyung stayed dazed for a moment. It took a little while before he moved again. His coworker, Jimin - the same guy who had been stunned with him the first time Jungkook had been in the store - touched his shoulder.

"Snap out of it, Taetae. Hand me your phone."

He obeyed without complaining or even questioning him. Jimin entered something into his phone and gave it back to him.

"There. I put his phone number in your contacts. You can check with his account if you want to make sure I didn't trick you."
"Ah... okay? Thanks?"
"Now text him. You have Tuesday-Wednesday off."
"Why are you helping me?"
"Because you're absolutely hopeless at human interactions, and this is a good opportunity for you to make a friend."

Taehyung sighed a little, but nodded.

"Okay. I'll text him."

He took ten minutes to write something, but he then erased it when he read it for the fifth time. Ten more minutes and he wrote something else, but this time it got erased when he had to quit his texting app, and it somehow didn't keep it as a draft. Then, a full hour later, he finally sent something, hesitating and with one eye closed, reluctantly pressing the "send" button.

"Hey, it's Taehyung. I have Tuesday-Wednesday off this week."

The reply took barely twenty seconds to come in.

"heeey! :) would u rather go on tuesday or wednesday? i'm free on both :)"

He "sounded" like a happy bunny even in text messages, geez. Taehyung hoped that he didn't "sound" like a grumpy old man.

"Tuesday would be good for me. What time?"
"early morning? i'm not a morning person but the morning light is more interesting :)"
"Do we want good light or do we want weird shady neighborhood bull happening? I don't think people around here get up early. They're the type that keeps shouting at each other until 2 in the morning."
"ah you're right :p afternoon then, when they're awake and yelling weird on the street"
"Sure, 1PM?"
"good for me! :) i'm looking forward to go shoot with you :)"

Taehyung smiled quietly at his screen. Cutie. Damn it. Why was he like that? Geez.

"Looking forward to it too," he wrote. "See you."
"see u!"

He looked up as he pocketed his phone and raised a brow when he spotted Jimin just looking at him from further away. His coworker looked very pleased with himself.

"Soooo?"
"Why do you want to know? It's none of your business."
"Hey, I helped you, you ingrate. You wouldn't even have taken his phone number otherwise."
"Fine, whatever. Shooting on Tuesday. Happy?"
"Yup. Try not to be a to him, all right?"
" off."
"See, that's what I mean. Don't be terrible to him."
"Eat . He's nicer than you, I won't be mean to him."

Or he'd try. He used vague insults on everyone except customers. And he had self-destructing tendencies that always started with him pushing people away. It was a bit hard not to do it. But he'd definitely do his best.

***

Tuesday arrived and they met up near Taehyung's workplace. Taehyung himself was wearing casual clothes, far from the cleaner stuff he wore at work. He had his camera with a prime lens slung over his shoulder. He had two spare batteries as well on top of the one already in the camera, just to make sure he wouldn't run out. He had never actually managed to empty more than two batteries in an entire, heavy shooting day, but he had brought one more just in case he'd get too trigger-happy. His wallet was in his pocket. He hadn't bothered bringing a bag.

Jungkook showed up a few minutes later wearing his eternal white tee-shirt. His jeans were tight and full of holes that unveiled apparently hairless legs - did he wax? - and his feet were covered by terrible-looking beige boots. His head was covered with a beanie with both the store's and Fujifilm's logo on it - a gift from Taehyung's boss to Jungkook since he was now a regular customer. His camera with its kit lens was in his hands with a wrist strap. Apparently Jungkook liked that a bit better than long straps, at least for that kind of shooting.

Either way, he looked 100% adorable. Okay, maybe more than 100% actually. Jungkook smiled at him and Taehyung almost whined in despair at how beautiful he was. He knew this was some kind of hopeless crush. He knew he didn't really know Jungkook, at least not that much. What he did know was his photographic style, since he could see that when Jungkook ordered prints, and a few more things, but nothing that could really justify this kind of crush, right? Except that Jungkook was ridiculously, impossibly attractive.

"Hey!" Jungkook said happily as he walked to him. "Ready for the day?"
"Yeah. Got your spare battery?"
"Obviously. Let's go!"

They started walking around, not having anywhere specific in mind. This neighborhood looked terrible, but that was the fun of it, trying to find something, anything that could be interesting in some way by framing it properly. And Taehyung was pulled out of his observation by Jungkook's voice, and he turned towards him to see his smile.

"I'm really glad you accepted to shoot with me. Shooting on my own just isn't the same. Moreover, we've been talking a lot at the store and I've been thinking that you're a super cool guy and I'd like to get to know you more, which I know is awkward when you're working."

He glanced at Taehyung with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"And don't try telling me it's just because you're working with customers that you're being kind to me. I can tell when someone is nice because they have to versus when they want to. And I've seen you with some other customers. You don't act the same way with them as you do with me."

Taehyung groaned and sighed. Yeah, he definitely acted different with Jungkook. He actually wanted to learn more about him and Jungkook opened up like he was hoping Taehyung would do the same towards him.

"Most people just make me want to shoot myself. Figuratively speaking, of course, I'm not suicidal."

And he had his babies waiting for him at home, ready to snuggle up in his arms or against his neck to brux - to grind their teeth together, the rat equivalent to a cat's purr - to their heart's content.

"I have a general intolerance for jerks, idiots, or just people who refuse to listen to what I tell them in general," he continued. "Latest example of that would be this middle-aged woman who didn't understand what black and white means. I kind of wanted to punch her to try knocking some sense into her."
"What the heck?" Jungkook laughed, apparently very amused by that. "How did she not get it?"

Taehyung breathed deeply and forced a barrier down a little. Normally he refused talking about jerk customers because it made him sound like an . And maybe he was one, a little. Maybe that was his true self. Maybe that was why people kept leaving him. But either way, Jungkook looked like he wouldn't be entirely like people from before. Like those people who had hurt Taehyung. So one barrier down still felt a bit safe.

"She had this super old black and white photo that yellowed a lot with time. It almost looked like the color of old newspapers. She wanted it redone. I told he that we could do it, but that we would make it into a neutral black and white, so not as yellow as it currently was. She freaked out. She asked if it would look the same and I said that the gray scale would look similar, but not the exact same because it would be less yellow. I seriously tried making her understand for ten minutes. And when she left, frustrated at me, I'm pretty sure she still didn't get it. I was super annoying. 'Less yellow' became the joke of the day. My coworkers still tell me that sometimes just to watch me roll my eyes."

Jungkook looked very baffled by that. He was staring at Taehyung with wide eyes and a grin on his lips. He pretty much looked like he couldn't believe the story.

"How the heck did she not get it?! That's horrible! Urgh people are so dumb sometimes. I don't know how you deal with those. I'd get pissed off at them very quickly and probably look at them like they're imbeciles, which they definitely are if they don't get what black and white means. Sheesh."

Taehyung couldn't help but smile at that. He hadn't actually expected Jungkook to agree with him. It felt good to know that he did though.

"I don't really know how I do it either. I really want to tell them what I think of their stupidity, but I kind of enjoy having a job and no particularly terrible financial difficulties."
"Makes a lot of sense. You're really good," Jungkook praised him, and Taehyung preened at that. "Much better than what I'd ever be."
"Have you never worked with customers?"
"Nope. As you know, I'm still studying. I came to the big city after my first diploma to study something they don't teach in the countryside. I haven't had an actual real job yet. My dad promised to pay everything for me until I stop going to school, after which he said he won't pay anything for me ever again. I mean, I've worked a few summer jobs... or well, one summer job over a few summers. My uncle got me to work for him. I replaced someone while they were on vacation. And I didn't interact with customers."
"Lucky guy. What are you studying?"
"Graphic design. I did music when I was in the countryside. Graphic design isn't something they teach there though."
"Music? Why graphic design now?"
"Because we had to come up with a logo for our band and I found out that I liked that better. I still like music, but it's just so much more difficult to actually make my life around this that I just, well. I'd rather be a graphic designer, work quietly at a computer for a studio of some kind, instead of being a super poor artist getting my songs ripped off from the Internet all the time."
"It does sound a little better."
"Much better. And we have a photo class in my program at some point, but it's in a long time and it's not a very advanced thing, so I might try to learn everything before that class. If I could breeze through it and ace every project, that would be great."
"Are you not usually a good student?" Taehyung teased, feeling very weird about doing this, but also feeling weirdly at ease.
"I wouldn't say I'm a bad student. I try my hardest in everything I do, but there is a lot I just can't understand perfectly."
"Well, at least there's effort. That's more than I can say for most people."

And for himself. Taehyung had been told he had talent before, and his brain worked well enough that he probably could have become some kind of scientist, but he wasn't attracted by the idea of using his mental power for that. He preferred using it to thoroughly enjoy Jungkook beaming a bright smile at him, and to think of lifting his camera to snap a quick picture of him doing so. It made Jungkook chuckle, but he didn't protest.

After that, they started focusing on the photo aspect of their photo walk a bit more, shooting and talking, and showing their screen to the other to get a different opinion. As they did so, Taehyung learned that Jungkook's favorite color was yellow, that the boots he was wearing were his favorite, and that he could apparently do everything - physically at least. From what he was saying, and Taehyung knew he wasn't boasting or lying, he seemed to be able to dance, sing, play a few different instruments, do some impressive acrobatics, draw and design stuff, and so much more that Taehyung didn't manage to remember. What he did remember though was the way Jungkook's voice formed beautiful notes when Taehyung asked him to sing.

"How do you function?" Taehyung asked after Jungkook was done with the song.
"What do you mean?"
"You can do so much stuff. How come?"
"I don't know. I just can. I'm decent at most sports too. Sorry. That sounds pretentious."
"No, I can tell that it's just the plain truth."

Taehyung felt terrible though. The plain truth. It was actually definitely not plain, it was amazing, but he knew Jungkook hadn't been bragging. He knew it all just felt like normal facts to him. And he hated himself for being jealous. Years of studying, and he was working retail. Geez. Jungkook could do so much that he would probably never have any trouble finding a good, decently-paying job. Minimum wage for dealing with generally y people wasn't enough. It paid the bills and the rat food and Taehyung was in no particular financial trouble, but he could enjoy having a bit more cash in his bank account and he could definitely enjoy having a soul instead of chipping it bit by bit every day on terrible people.

Either way, he wasn't really bitter about having a job, more so about having no social life and no escape in sight. He craved attention and affection, but he was tired of being hurt and was thus pushing away most people who might be willing to give him some. It , but he didn't know what else he could do. Trust? No, that had only brought him pain in the past. The only ones he did trust were his babies because they loved him as long as he fed them and took good care of them and gave them the love he had in him that he couldn't give anyone else.

"Taehyung?"

He brutally snapped out of his thoughts, jerking a little, not having expected to be pulled out that way, and not having meant to spiral down like that.

"Sorry. Was lost in thought."
"And looked sad while doing so."
"No need to worry about me."
"I know. But talk to someone if you need to, okay? You seem to need it. We don't know each other well enough for me to be this person, but..."
"I'm fine," Taehyung sighed. "It's very sweet of you to worry, but I'm okay. I guess I... well, never mind. Sorry it got weird. I'll try not to break the mood again."

Or else Jungkook would end up leaving him, like everyone else. Taehyung still half-expected him to never come back after this. To never show up at the store again.

But Jungkook's hand was warm and comforting as it touched his arm gently, soothingly. And Jungkook's smile was beautiful and encouraging on those pretty lips.

"You weren't breaking the mood. If you'd like, we can talk about what's on your mind. If you don't want to, that's okay too, just try not to torture yourself over it, whatever it is. Not because it'll 'break the mood', but because I know what it feels like to do this during an outing, and I want you to be happy, not miserable."

Taehyung felt a surge of warmth and hope. Jungkook was so kind.

Maybe this would be different, after all.