⇜ epilogue ⇝

 

For some reason I found myself at a strange, vast place. I was walking across a field, the grass partly dried out from the mild drought caused by the heat of summer. The place seemed totally unfamiliar yet it felt as if I have at least seen it before.

Perhaps when I was a child I did, that's what I thought.

At some point, I was abruptly pulled back by a force that I couldn't see. Then I noticed a thin string wrapped around my pinkie, yet I couldn't feel it on my skin. My eyes tried to trace where it was coming from, only to see that its length went as far as crossing the entire field with its other end disappearing among the cluster of trees at the opposite side.

If there was one element that I found the most intriguing, it was that red string attached on my fifth digit.

I tried to remove it, but the string was simply going through my hand as if it was just an image from a projector.

Eventually I decided to follow the trail, curious of what I would see at the other end.

It didn't take me that long before I managed to fully cross the field. The moment I made it through the cluster of trees, I found myself facing a road that I finally could recognize. The end of the string was still nowhere to be seen, but I felt my brows scrunch in confusion when I noticed that it was looped around the pole of a road sign.

I went near to inspect closely, and a strange neon green note was stuck on it, with the words written in sloppy Hangul,

"This is a clue. Hurry up and find me Jae."

 

 

My eyes flew open at the sound of my alarm blaring.

I woke up with a stiff neck that brought sharp pain with every minimal movement, and I couldn't help but wince as I gradually tried to tilt my head upright. Turns out I spent the entire night sitting on the couch, and exhaustion didn't even allow me to make it to the guestroom before I immediately passed out.

I was pretty sure I had a dream.

Yet I couldn't understand what it meant.

If by some chance it did mean something.

My mind could recall the intensity of stress I had to endure the night before, and it made me question myself if I should still persist on looking for him. I felt tears starting to prickle at the back of my eyes, the anxiety that once settled in my stomach eventually unfurled out like a wildfire inside my body. I felt so lost and my mind was restless.

I just wanted to give up and allow myself to rest.

Thinking about it, the search seemed hopeless and I wasn't going anywhere.

Why was I trying so hard?

Maybe I've been holding onto him more than I should be.

I wondered if he got tired of hanging out with me.

I wondered if my company wasn't enough to make him happy.

After all, some of my classmates back in high school even said I had no personality. Maybe it's true. And maybe Ten got tired of me.

But maybe I was worrying too much. Maybe he's finally awake now. Maybe he'll come back to see me again.

Those were the only possibilities I could think of, although I refused to consider that one idea that could simply rule out every other possibility once my mind chooses to latch onto it.

I couldn't afford to think of the worst when all I had was hope.

If I don't manage to find him, I told myself to believe that he's coming back. And by that time, he would be able to reunite with his family, create more choreography and finally visit places outside Seoul. And if he would love the idea, I would bring him to an ice cream parlor and treat him buckets if he wants to eat as much.

The idea stirred a slight ache in my chest, and I smiled to myself knowing that he wouldn't even hesitate to say yes if it meant he gets to eat one of his most favorite food in the world.

I felt silly after realizing that I have subconsciously made plans in my head while thinking about the places he might like to visit. But without him, it felt like there was no point in checking them out. Perhaps I wouldn't even see the beauty in them if he isn't there with me to begin with.

A weak knock on my car's window disrupted my trail of thought, and that was when I only realized that I stopped my car right beside the place I first met Ten.

I rolled down my window and saw an old woman outside, her face partly hidden by a shawl. I must say she looked really familiar to me, yet I still couldn't point out where I had seen her before.

But the moment she asked the same question from our first encounter, it finally triggered something in my memory that made me remember.

It's her.

The old lady I've seen before.

She strangely looked the same or even younger as compared to how she appeared from my last memory of her.

I handed her one of my pack of biscuits stored inside my car's glove compartment, and she gratefully took it with her shaking hands. Somehow I was thankful that I at least had something to offer, or it would've made me felt regretful.

"You looked like you were thinking about something deep. Is there something bothering you?"

"I— it was nothing really serious." I gave out a wry smile.

"I'm glad that you really pursued your dream. Just as expected you have eventually met your other half."

"I'm sorry?"

"You must've dreamt about something. Look closely and you'll see a clue."

I've been aware since then that she's quite a peculiar woman, but her words by that moment were even scarier than what she told me before. Now she sounded more specific, as if she really knew who Ten is.

"I don't understand—"

"Find him. He's probably waiting for you now."

Him? What she talking about Ten?

At that she slowly turned and started walking away, and I couldn't contain my frustration as new questions started to arise in my head.

"Please! If you're talking about Ten, where can I find him?" I pleaded out loud. At that point I was already out of my car, a little hesitant to run after her, but I was sure she could still hear me so I chose not to approach her further.

"Your dream. He must've left something for you."

Left something for me.

What was it?

It's funny how it felt like I was trying to solve a case like Sherlock, and I never thought there would come a time I would have to look into something so hard, much less a dream that can literally mean nothing to scavenge for clues.

I was about to open my mouth to plead for the old lady to stay a little longer when it finally clicked—

The red string.

The note on the road sign.

His note.

And just as how she left 7 years ago, she mysteriously disappeared and left me with more unanswered questions.

But at that point, the only thing that mattered to me the most was to find Ten, and I could only silently thank her for helping me figure out the clue he left in my dream.



 

 

"I don't know what compelled you to start to believe that a dream could actually mean something in real life to the point you have to sneak and—" I shot Johnny a death glare. "—but I yes... actually yes you're right of course it can mean something! Pfft stupid Johnny stop blabbering nonsense."

His sudden change of heart almost made me laugh out loud but I didn't want him to think I was just messing with him.

Johnny still looked a bit skeptic about the entire situation but followed me regardless, and for a moment I thought of how grateful I was he didn't choose to turn his back away from me. I barely supplied him with any information, but thankfully, he chose not to pry any further apart from him asking me if Ten is cute.

"This is it right?"

"I think so." I muttered under my breath.

The road exactly looked like how I remembered it both from my memory and in my dream, but this time, there's no red string. Of course there wouldn't be.

I felt my heart pounding inside my chest the closer I got to the road sign, the feeling of excitement, fright and anxiousness all sending my nerves go haywire.

Although the moment I finally came close to the sign, I felt all my hopes slowly slipping away.

There was no red string.

Of course the note would also be non-existent.

Why did I even think I'd see a stupid neon green note stuck on a road sign? I was fully aware he couldn't communicate with any sentient being. He even failed to leave a letter to his parents, so what would make me so special?

"Hey hey." I felt Johnny tapping my back relentlessly.

"Hyung there's no note."

"I know, but stop sulking will you? Check the sign. Maybe that could lead you to something."

And I did as told, only to feel my eyes widen a few seconds later.

"Holy frick hyung..."

Of course that was what Ten meant.

That was why a note was stuck on the road sign.

The road sign is the clue.

"Holy you're brilliant..." I trapped him in a headlock and tried to kiss his cheek but he immediately dodged it while yelling at me. "I swear if this would lead us to Ten