When the war started, Nayeon could barely believe it. She was 16 at that time. The country was already broken, hurt by the second world war : after it, the Korean peninsula was split between the soviet, with the Democratic people’s republic of Korea and the Americans, the republic of Korea. Since the two Koreas shared differences in idea and culture, the two would dip each other by 1950. This later lead to the problems we know too well today. 

 

It started on June 25, 1950. It was a hot day, with a bright blue sky, no worries pointing in the horizon. Nayeon was spending the afternoon with her grandmother, in their house in the country side. They were simply peeling oranges while chatting, Nayeon eagerly telling her grandmother about the bird nest she had discovered while getting the fruits - when a far away sound reached their ears. Nayeon got starteled when her grandma dropped the knife and orange she was holding, all the colors of her face, gone. The young girl tried to calm her down, but it barely worked. 

 

« Nayeon, oh, Nayeon. the bells. This means war, again. » 

 

— 

 

2 years had passed after that dreadful day, and the war was still going on. The country was now extremely poor, and if you had access to money, it meant you were one of the few lucky ones. 

 

Most schools got closed during the first year of war, and the students got possibilities to study again in 51. Though they were no real teachers, but college students, it felt good to be back with friends and actually do something else than nothing or crying - even though there were no tables,  no chairs and barely a roof for most classes, Nayeon was happy to go. 

 

life was difficult. Her father was gone, so was almost every male of her family, and they hoped everyday to not get a message telling them they were dead. It was only her, her Grandma and mother plus 2 of her cousins and her aunt at the country side house. They had to leave Seoul, and that place was way more sure that anywhere else. 

 

She had enough food to feel well, had things to do most days, and felt like war was far, far away. 

 

The worst days were the ones during when they would see soldiers crossing the village, hurt, some dead at the back of the trucks, other badly injured. It was the only glimpses she could get from the battles and it was enough. She always felt sick watching them, and hoped hard that her father was not in one of the blood tainted bags in the vehicles. 

 

But summer 1952 would be the time she would cherish forever, even in such a hard time as war. 

 

The village was doing a bit better by April, with multiple groups of men who had came back from the front. They helped with the agriculture of the place, with skills they had learned. Despite her disgust towards war, Nayeon would always listen to their stories about the fights, why they were hurt, how they felt like about going back to their family. How they never wanted to go back there again. 

 

In May, a new family arrived from Seoul. At first, they barely talked or went out of their house, only a young boy leaving it to do some grocery shopping. A week later, it was sure that the family was made of a couple and their two children, a boy and a girl. They also had a little dog, who loved to sneak out the house and wander around the village. 

 

War didn’t mean that teenagers couldn’t enjoy theirselves, and a few of Nayeon’s friends were dating. Music was one of the principal escape for her, and she almost gave her grandmother a heart attack when she learned the mother of the new family was holding dance classes for anyone to attend - the scream had been a bit too loud. 

 

On Sunday, the day the classes were set on, she decided to wear her prettiest outfit that had not yet been destroyed to make bandages or patch damaged clothes. Simple white shirt with a black color lace, and a black waist high skirt with white dots. She also wore her favorite white shoes, and twirled in front of her mirror, and wide smile on her face. The war was forgotten. 

 

The classes were held in the family’s house, and Nayeon got welcomed by the young boy, then led to a room upstairs. They seemed quite rich, with expensive looking furniture and a kitchen filled with provisions. Nayeon also caught a glimpse of multiple med kits. The stairs squeaked under her feet, and she carefully slipped inside the dancing room. A few other girls were here ; the walls were blank, a table at the other end with a radio post and a music player. A middle aged woman looked at her and quickly wrote something on a paper before greeting her. 

 

They had to wait a bit longer, just to make sure everyone who wanted to attend was here. Nayeon leaned on the wall in front of the door. She felt a bit anxious ; she had danced in front of others already, dozens of times before, but it would be under a new gaze this time and she could tell that woman was a professional. She was nervously tapping her fingers against her leg when a new girl appeared in the doorframe. 

 

She wasn’t tall, pretty short hair stopping right under her jaw, a lavender colored skirt similar to hers, and a pretty ribbon tied on her shirt. She also had the sweetest smile Nayeon had ever seen, and a cute dimple on her cheek. Nayeon froze at her own thoughts. Was she envious of the girl ? She couldn’t understand. 

 

Her eyes followed the short girl as she made her way to the older woman, and Nayeon understood that she was the daughter of the house, the one not many had seen yet, for whatever reason. She felt curiosity bubble inside her chest, and a few scenarios crossed her mind. but they got cut off by the girl returning her stare and she quickly lowered her head. 

 

The instructor clapped her hands and they gathered in the middle of the room. They were 6 or 7, a few boys here just to see what was going on, and a little group of curious kids was also sitting by door. She explained that they would learn the choreography of well known songs produced during the war, and asked if anyone knew the mambo. If so, they should step forward. 

 

Nayeon took a breath and went for the front of the group. She smiled proudly at the teacher, and turned her head to see who had also stepped up. The girl with the lavender dress was standing there, balancing herself from foot to foot. She gave Nayeon a little wave and focused back on her mother. She waved back a bit too late and mentally cursed at herself.

 

The woman asked them to introduce themselves before starting anything. 

 

« Hello, my name is Nayeon, I’ve been living here since the beginning of the war, but I’ve been spending my holiday here since I was a kid. I like singing and dancing, taking care of children and… I think that would be the basics. » the teacher gave her a smile and thanked her, before turning towards the lavender girl. 

 

« Hi everyone, I’m Chaeyoung ! I enjoy dancing and drawing the most. I hope we’ll all have fun in this class, thank you for welcoming us in your village ! »  she bowed to the other girls in the room and her dimple appeared again on her cheek. 

 

Since they both already knew the dance they were gonna start with, the teacher asked to sit down and simply observe for now. It didn’t really please Nayeon, who had came here to actually dance, but it could lead to some nice talk with Chaeyoung. Getting to know the new girl also sounded appealing. They quietly went to the back of the room, and Nayeon didn’t fail to notice the few glances the boys gave to the short girl. 

 

neither of them spoke up for a little while. They watched as the other girls started learning the moves, and Nayeon thought it was time to do something when Chaeyoung yawned by her side. She glanced at the short girl and smiled, as the girl cutely rubbed her eyes like she had been asleep for a while. 

 

« So, how does it feel to go from a big city like Seoul to a small village like ours ? » the short girl scoffed at the question, and Nayeon worried she had said something. 

 

« Seoul doesn’t look like Seoul anymore. It’s a mess. And you’re asking that like I’ve never been to the countryside before. » she eyed Nayeon with a blank face and the older girl wondered where the sweet girl from a few minutes before went to. But then the girl frowned and slapped her forehead lightly. « I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as rude. I just would like to avoid Seoul as a small talk subject. » 

 

« Sure, it’s my fault in the first place, sorry. I know how it feels… » Nayeon trailed off, realizing she was going to speak about the city again. « Hm, anyway. You said you like drawing ? » this time, she got a bright smile from the short haired girl, and it made her fell better. 

 

Chaeyoung talked about the passion she got from her grandfather, who used to be an illustrator during the first world war - he had showed his numerous drawings of fighting scenes, bodies, soldiers, to her, and  it had been fascinating. she enjoyed drawn her own abstracts thoughts, but also loved nature and portraits. She added that paper was getting rare during the war, and that her father had been struggling to find some. Nayeon told her about a special place in their village, a place owned by an old japanese couple that would make paper with Bamboo they had brought with them ; they were helped by some younger guys in the village, and Nayeon promised Chaeyoung she would take her there. 

 

Their little chat ended with the teacher calling them over ; she asked them to dance the mambo for the rest of the class. Nayeon smiled as Chaeyoung excitedly clapped her hands. They got in position as the music got set up ; and Nayeon didn’t expect them to be in total sinc the whole song. And the shorter girl didn’t either, as she stared at her with a curious gaze when they finished. 

 

Chaeyoung’s mother thanked her and dismissed the group, reminding them to come again next week if they were still interested. Nayeon hesitated to ask the girl to come with her to the paper shop, but stopped herself when she saw Chaeyoung surrounded by 3 or 4 boys. She bit her lower lip and made her way to the door, until someone grabbed her arm, forcefully stopping her in her tracks. 

 

« I’m sorry, I would rather discover the village with my good friend Nayeon ! I’ll leave you boys to your usual activities ! » Chaeyoung linked their arms and hurriedly led the older girl to the entrance house. They stepped outside and Chaeyoung took a deep breath and let go of her arm. Nayeon wondered why she missed the contact the second it happened, but stayed quiet. 

 

As Chaeyoung asked, they wandered around the village, Nayeon greeting everyone, Chaeyoung feeling a bit like a foreigner. Nayeon almost bought apples as a snack for the two of them, but the prices stopped her and she looked apologetic at the seller before making her way somewhere else with Chaeyoung. They eventually reached the paper factory, if it could be called that. 

 

Nayeon stared intensely at the price of the paper. It costed less than 2 apples and she had a hard time believing it. She decided to buy a pack for her new friend, and joined afterwards. The younger girl was admiring the paper, her fingers grazing over a sheet. She looked mesmerized by it and Nayeon was sure she had never seen such pretty eyes before. She lightly tapped on the girl’s shoulder and gave her the paper pack, the warm smile and short hug she got in return being the perfect way to get repaid. 

 

She told her grandmother about Chaeyoung and the dance class during the evening. Her mother joined the conversation, and asked if she knew why the girl hadn’t left the place for the whole month. Nayeon had totally forgotten about that, and made a mental note to ask the short girl later this week - if she would get the chance to see her again, that was. 

 

That night, she went to bed wondering if such happiness as Chaeyoung was real in contrast with the hard time of the war. 

 

— 

 

 She woke up to the soft sound of rain hitting the windows, a repetitive sound reminding her of the old clock she used to have in room back in Seoul. A treasure in the eyes of her father, but she found it more annoying than anything. She tossed the covers away and stretched, making her way to the windows, letting her hands rest against the cold glass. 

 

It was getting hotter outside, but it also seemed the war had made the weather take its time to change. She got dressed and went down the stairs, greeting her mother and grabbing the few things she would eat as breakfast. She mentioned the price of the apples, and her mother simply shook her head. It seemed unreal to the both of them. 

 

As she observed the rain drop outside, she decided not to go to school. It wasn’t really a priority anyway, and she didn’t trust the road outside enough to even set a foot on it if it had rained all night. She finished her morning portion and went back upstairs to check the rooms ; letting water come inside was not option. She noticed a drip in the guest’s room, where her cousin was sleeping, and she silently set a bucket under it to make sure it would not ruin the floor. Apart from that, everything was fine. 

 

Her mother called her downstairs to fold clothes, and she obliged. She was taking care of her grandmother’s night dress when she heard some weird noises coming from outside. Grunting, like someone was struggling with something. She paused a bit to make sure it was not something else, like a lost wild animal, before she heard a loud swearing. She smirked at the bad word and went to check on the person. 

 

She gasped at the sight of Chaeyoung being stuck almost knee deep in mud in front of the porch, her umbrella barely stopping the water from dripping onto her clothes. She looked up at Nayeon with a very much defeated expression, and the older girl felt like she had just found a lost puppy. She quickly went back inside to get towels, her shoes and a stronger umbrella, and helped the short girl get out of the mud. She apologized continuously as she got the floor dirty, but Nayeon told her to not worry. They had suffered from worst. 

 

Her mother joined them quickly, already taking care of the mud inside while Nayeon helped Chaeyoung take her ruined shoes off. The short girl stayed quiet as they cleaned, rubbing a towel on her face and hair to get the water away. Nayeon suggested taking a quick shower but warned that the water might be cold. The young girl agreed anyway, and Nayeon’s mother led her to the bathroom while Nayeon went to get clothes that would fit Chaeyoung. 

 

She only found an old shirt that would probably still be too big and a pair of pajamas pants. She left the clothes in front of the bathroom door and waited for the younger girl to finish with what she had left to fold. It didn’t take long, and Chaeyoung thanked her for the fresh clothes and the help. Nayeon was right, the sleeves were too long for the short girl but it just made her cuter. 

 

« So, what were you doing here ? »

 

They went to the living room, Chaeyoung eagerly jumping on the old but very comfortable couch. 

 

« I was bored at home, and with the rain, I had nothing to do outside, so I asked where you lived to an old guy I met outside and he showed me the way ! » she hugged a pillow before her face turned into a less happy expression. « But I didn’t think the road would be that bad… I’m sorry, I must be a bother for you… » 

 

« No, it’s ok. I just hope you won’t be sick after that trip. Wasting your first week outside would be stupid. » she got a tiny smile from Chaeyoung, which was good to see after the gloomy expression the girl had given her. « would you mind me asking why you haven’t left the house before yesterday ? » 

 

Chaeyoung seemed to ponder the question for a moment, before telling Nayeon that she had gotten hurt back in Seoul ; she had had found herself stuck between fire exchanges, and half her back had suffered from a big burn, nothing broken, but a lot of pain and big area on her lower back would probably never heal. It was the reason her family and her had left the city in the first place. She was still waiting for the pain to leave when they arrived here, explaining why she hadn’t left the house. 

 

« What did you do to lower the pain ? » 

 

« My mother knows a recipe for a special cream that heals burns. She had less ingredients than usual, but it worked. Sometimes simply massaging my back is enough, and I can do it myself, which is a good thing. My parents don’t need to be near me all the time. » 

 

« Okay, tell me if you ever need… massages, I guess. » 

 

« The wounds may be a bit- »

 

« No problem, I was with my grandmother when she burned her arm a few years ago. Nothing great to see, uh ? I promise I’ll be fine. » she gave the younger girl a thumb up, and Chaeyoung laughed at the gesture. 

 

Nayeon heard more than she saw her cousin come down the stairs, whining loudly about the rain and not being able to go out with that weather. Nayeon almost snapped at her like she’s used to, but didn’t, Chaeyoung’s presence being the main reason. She shook her head as her aunt came into the equation, and asked Chaeyoung to come with her upstairs, rather that staying in the living room with all the yelling. 

 

« I wanted to bring paper, but I had nothing to protect it and I was afraid the rain would ruin your gift, so I don’t have any with me… » Chaeyoung soflty said from behind her in the stairs. « do you have some, by any chance..? »

 

« Probably, we need to check. I’m sure I can lend you some pencils, but we’ll have to snoop around for drawing paper. Not bringing yours here was a good idea. » 

 

Chaeyoung jumped on the bed the second they stepped into the room, and Nayeon wondered if jumping around like that was good for the girl’s back when she caught a glimpse of he back burn as her shirt flew a bit. But the girl seemed fine.

She reached for her drawers and got her pencil case, threw it on her desk before rummaging through every drawer to find some paper. She really wanted to see Chaeyoung draw ; no one she really knew around her had that passion, and if the girl had talked about it, it probably meant she had something in mind. 

 

« Ah ! » she exclaimed as she found a few pages, not fully blank but it would work. She left them near her pencil case and joined Chaeyoung near the bed. The girl was flipping through pages of an old singing lessons book Nayeon had gotten for her 10th birthday. 

 

« If I draw you something, can you practice some exercises and sing while I do ? » the young girl looked up to her, eyes filled with wonder and curiosity. Nayeon nodded, even though she hadn’t sung in a while. Chaeyoung got ready in front of the desk, and Nayeon settle in a front of the window, standing up ; a better position for singing. 

 

Their morning went smoothy like that ; Nayeon singing like Chaeyoung wasn’t in the room and the younger girl frenetically drawing in every piece of paper her new friend had given her. They got interrupted after 2 hours by the oldest in the house, asking them if they wanted to eat lunch. Chaeyoung introduced herself to Nayeon’s grandmother first, and thanked her for welcoming her in her house before accepting to eat lunch.

 

Chaeyoung slipped a ‘you have a really nice singing voice’ to Nayeon before going down the stairs, to the kitchen. It warmed the older girl’s heart, who had been told countless times that she wasn’t good enough at it. She checked for water drips again before going down too. The rain hadn’t stopped pouring at all. 

 

As always, they didn’t eat much, but enough to not feel hungry, and they had a good time chatting around, apart from Chaeyoung clumsily avoiding Seoul as a subject as much as she could and Nayeon yelling a few times at her cousin for being rude to the shortie. The two friends ended up cleaning the dishes together, Nayeon washing and the other wiping. They hummed a song the oldest and been singing earlier and for the first time since the beginning of the war, Nayeon truly felt like she was at home. 

 

They talked about chaeyoung’s drawing afterwards, and how good she was at it. She had drawned Nayeon singing, the view from the window, a little story about how she got stuck in the mud, and doodled some details only her could understand.

 

— 

 

« Say. » 

 

« Yeah ? » 

 

« How do you wake up every day thinking about how your father could be killed ? » Nayeon looked at the girl asking such a question like it was nothing, and witnessed her realize how rude it sounded. She clapped her hands against and muffled an apologize, eyes wide. 

 

They were outside, the rain had finally stopped, Chaeyoung’s clothes were clean and dried. The sun was not here yet but it was getting better.

 

« Well. It was hard, at the beginning. I kept waking up, worrying about receiving a letter telling us he would never come back. But as months went by, I gained back hope, I think. It seemed the possibilities that he would die had reduced, and seeing him less actually made the worry fade away a bit. I don’t like saying that, but it’s the truth. As long as you don’t see people, you don’t miss them. » she stopped making a trail on the still wet ground with a branch she had picked up. 

 

Chaeyoung didn’t say anything beside her, seemingly lost in thoughts. 

 

« Why did you father stay in Seoul ? He could’ve joined the war too. » 

 

« I don’t… I don’t really know. Some people in my class used to say he payed the government to not go… and if it’s true, I wouldn’t blame him. » 

 

Silence fell between the two after that, and they reached the end of the village when the sun finally decided to show up. The road to the closest habitations seemed infinite in front of them, never-ending, reaching an horizon they would probably never go to before the end of the war. Nayeon sighed as she recognized the now too familiar truck of men coming back from the fights. Chaeyoung’s eyes were also fixated on the engine, and they stepped to the side as more people joined them. 

 

That deep green truck either meant good or bad news. 

 

It came to their level, and she felt the short girl grip on her arm as corpses came into sight. Nayeon eyed every visible face, trying to see if her father was in the pile, and the tension left her body when it was clear he was not there. She felt Chaeyoung’s grip tighten as a scream rang loudly on their right. Everyone was watching as a soldier told one of the habitant that her son had died, another grabbing one of the white dirty bag from the truck. 

 

The woman crouched down near the body, her screams loud and clear for everyone. Nobody was daring enough to speak, and the crowd slowly left the place ; but Chaeyoung wouldn’t move, and Nayeon couldn’t leave her there. `

 

« First time seeing bodies ? »

 

« No… » the girl’s voice was a bit shaky. « I’ve seen some in Seoul before, but… not that close. And the smell. » she paused for s second, and it seemed her eyes began to shake too. « I think I’m going to puke. » 

 

Before Nayeon could do anything, Chaeyoung turned around and let out all the content of her stomach, of their small lunch on the grass, coughing a bit as she did, and Nayeon couldn’t do much more than putting a hand on the girl’s upper back in support. It stopped quickly, and the poor girl began to sob, wiping her chin with the back of her hand, trying and failing to give apologies to Nayeon. 

 

« Stop apologizing, come on, we have to get you water. » she secured her arm around chaeyoung’s shoulder, helping her move, and they slowly but surely reached the girl’s house. She knocked on the door and gave an apologetic look to Chaeyoung’s mother when she opened the door. She explained how their day went, and what lead to Chaeyoung’s face look so pale, completely dried of any colors. 

 

She left the house right after, feeling like letting the girl rest was the best idea, and she didn’t want to disturb more. She only asked her father to tell her to come to class the next day, if the weather would allow it. 

 

— 

 

She waited for her new friend to come all morning, keeping a seat next to her, but she never showed up. She waited for her more during lunch, hoped to see a joyful girl suddenly appear at the front door, with her bright smile and short bouncing hair. But by the afternoon, still no Chaeyoung. She tried to focus on the lessons, but the feeling that she had done something wrong was stuck at the back of her mind. She left the place at the end of the day feeling more irritated than anything. 

 

It didn’t help that the rain started pouring on her way back home, and that the only place she was sure to stay safe was an old abandoned bakery. She tapped her shoes on the floor before coming in, and chills ran down her spin as she took it the inside of the place. It was dusty, kind of scary, with the half teared down wall paper, the old utensils still in place, and the rats that hide quickly when she came in. 

 

She went to the back, drawing little figures on the dust to reassure herself. The windows were letting in enough light for her not to worry about things that could be hiding in the dark. But she scared herself when her foot got stuck between wood planks, and she let out a small scream. It resonated rather loudly, and she listened to it echo between the walls ; that place would make a great singing place. She got her foot out of the hole, and went back to the main room, sung a few notes to check the sound and finally sang the full song she had been practicing when Chaeyoung was with her. 

 

She felt a bit better when she was done, and found enough energy to go and run to her house under the rain. 

 

It was actually quite refreshing, and she did her best not to slip. She couldn’t stop the smile that reached her lips as a liberating feeling filled her chest. Who knew running under the rain could feel that good ? 

 

She almost threw herself on the door when she arrived, stumbling inside as she took her shoes off, trying to not get the floor dirty again. Her grandmother was sleeping not he couch, her mother trying to repair some clothes near her. She shot a worried look to Nayeon who simply whispered that everything was okay. She quickly went to her room, and closed the door hurriedly behind her ; the run had been tiring and she wanted to rest. 

 

She got her school stuff back into place and looked down at Chaeyoung’s drawing. She let her fingers run around the lines and asked herself again why the girl did not come to school today. Maybe her father forgot. 

 

She let herself fall on the bed and closed her eyes, the rain drops making the exact same sound as during the previous morning. 

 

Tak tak. Tak tak. Tak tak. 

 

The more she focused on it the more it seemed she was hearing gun shots, and she covered her ears with her pillow, shutting off any sounds around her, thus failing to hear someone come inside and almost kill said person when they dropped on her stomach. 

 

« What the heck ! » her eyes flew open and she calmed down in a second when she realized who it was, but still gently hit the person in the head, earning herself a hit too. She closed her eyes again and let her hand rest on the girl’s hair. 

 

« I’m sorry I didn’t come to school. »

 

Nayeon didn’t answer. The rain drops sounded like water hitting the windows again, Chaeyoung’s hair was soft under her palm, and the girl’s breathing was very calming. She didn’t even think about asking why she was here at such a time of the day. it was summer anyway, the sun would set down late. They stayed a short while like that until Chaeyoung winced. Nayeon immediately opened her eyes back as the younger slowly got up, hand on her back. 

 

« It’s nothing, my mom made me use her cream and it stings a bit more than usual. » the girl explained after she met Nayeon’s worried gaze. But the older girl didn’t let go of the matter that easily and asked Chaeyoung to take her place on the bed, stomach on the mattress, back visible. The girl obliged, a bit against her will, and asked Nayeon multiple times if she was sure she could handle the sight of the burn when she said she would massage her. 

 

« I told you already, Chaeyoung, I’m fine. I’ve seen rotting bodies like you did, seen bad burns already, yours won’t make me run away. » she grabbed her stool and got it near the bed, before slowly lifting the girl’s shirt. 

 

The skin was still in really bad shape, deep red around some part, clearly destroyed and would probably never heal fully. She began to run her fingers around the patch of skin that had been burned, Chaeyoung sighing as she did. For anyone else, it would have been a disgusting sight, but Nayeon had seen worse, and she would stay true to her words, something like that would not make her run away. 

 

She could feel Chaeyoung getting a bit nervous under her touch, and began to hum their little song in hope that it would calm the girl down, and it did. Tension left her back muscles, and Nayeon continued her work, fingers grazing on damaged skin, thinking about how much of a waste it was, to ruin such perfect skin. 

 

« Thank you. » the girl muffled against the pillow in that soft voice of hers, and Nayeon smiled at the words. 

 

« I have to take care of my friends. And I promise I’ll help again if you swear to stay strong and return the favor. » the Bodie under her hands sauntered as Chaeyoung chuckled and promised. 

 

The girl didn’t stay for dinner, even though the whole family insisted. Nayeon repeated multiple times for her to be careful on the road, the rain had been damaging again. Chaeyoung reassured her when she said her brother would meet her halfway to their house, and that she would try to come to school the next day. 

 

— 

 

And she did. 

 

She even arrived before Nayeon, and the older girl found her chatting with the college students when she entered the room. She left her stuff at her usual spot before joining the little group, and Chaeyoung gave her her signature smile, with the dimple and all, before shouting that she had kept her promise. 

 

The class regrouped people from age 14 to 19, and the subjects were easy for some, more difficult for others. Another class next door was made for the younger kids who wanted to study too. You could always learn from younger than you, and the oldest of the groups would always help for anything. The group had a great dynamic and Chaeyoung fitted in rather quickly. She gladly illustrated some of the lessons on the board, was good in literature and anything that involved writing but struggled in maths and worked hard with Nayeon on it. 

 

Since the rain had finally stopped and no clouds were visible in the sky, they decided to go out during the afternoon rather than staying inside an old building. They went to an abandoned corn field a few meters away, and Nayeon showed to Chaeyoung the few plants that were still growing, and the slight possibility that it could flourish again by next year. No one was able to take care of the field since the beginning of the war. The youngest ones joined the duo around the plantations, listening as Nayeon explained how all that would work. 

 

Her grandfather used to work here after all, she knew a lot. 

 

Chaeyoung shared the same curious look in her eyes as the kids, and Nayeon resisted pinching the girl’s cheek a few times. 

 

At some point through the talk, a kid called Nayeon a bunny and mocked her teeth, which lead to Chaeyoung chasing him around the field. It didn’t last long, Chaeyoung being the fastest runner the village had seen in a while. She grabbed the kid by the waist, easily lifted him up, and menaced to throw him into a pile of mud if he didn’t apologize. He did, laughing but still did, and that would be story of how Chaeyoung got accepted into the group of the toughest kids on her first day of school in the village. 

 

Nayeon praised her later, mentioning how surprised she was that a girl as light weighted as her could be so strong. She missed the blush on the girl’s cheeks that day. 

 

Chaeyoung asked Nayeon if she was free at the end of the day with a shy voice when they packed their things at the end of the lessons. 

 

« Of course I’m free, Chaeng. There’s not much to do anyway. » 

 

« Oh, i’ve got a nickname now, that’s cool ! » she clapped her hands as she always did when she was joyful, and asked Nayeon how she could personally call her. They thought together, and opted for Nabongs. 

 

Chaeyoung refused to say where they were going until they reached their destination, and Nayeon could swore she was dreaming when she saw the front of the building they were in front of. In bold, new, fresh yellow letters, the word Library could be read, and it suddenly felt like the village had been sent back to before the war, before books beame too expensive. Chaeyoung pushed her near the door, hurrying her to go inside. 

 

Nayeon carefully set a foot inside, on the new red carpet on the floor, taking in the huge shelves, not fully filled by books but still there, the familiar scent of printed paper ; and the sound of the little bell at the top of the door pleased her ears. Chaeyoung let go of her shoulders and happily trotted around the place, a wide and content smile on her face. 

 

« This is my father’s library. We left Seoul with a ton of books, and we thought we could keep them safe here ! We finished setting everything up yesterday, that’s why I didn’t come to school, I wanted to surprise you - hey now, why are you crying ? » she stopped her little run and went back to Nayeon, who was lamely trying to wipe tears off her cheeks. 

 

« I’m sorry, this feels too good. Everything feels too good to be true since you arrived. Are you even real ? » 

 

Chaeyoung laughed at her friend’s words, and got a tissue from her pocket to help the girl out. She grabbed her arm and guided her between the shelves, pointing at books that could interest her, music ones, more recent singing lessons, a bright book about flowers, a whole trilogy about the best ways to use paper. She couldn’t believe it. 

 

They chose a book together and settled at the back of the brand new place, under a window, Nayeon reading out loud as Chaeyoung listened, the other people discovering the place being only faraway sounds, unable to reach their little private bubble. 

 

June went by like a welcomed breeze under a hot sun. Too soft, too quick, but still satisfying. 

 

Their days alternated between school, cooling down in the library, trying and failing to grow food, praying from times to times that the army truck would not deliver bad news. Chaeyoung would spend a lot of times at Nayeon’s house and vice versa ; they would always attend the dance classes, and they favorite part of it all was dancing together. 

 

Nayeon was still confused about why Chaeyoung’s hand would sometimes feel too hot in hers, or why the short haired girl was so shy about showing her her back all the time. She couldn’t understand why simply seeing the girl would bring her mood up, neither why a hug made her stomach feel all… weird ? She didn’t mind it, but it would keep her up at night sometimes. Truly annoying. 

 

July, on the opposite, felt heavy, like those summer storms with dark grey clouds and thunder children usually hate. But, as crazy as it may sound, it didn’t mean that it had been a bad month. 

 

On the first few days, they went on a trip to a water source a bit far from the village, with a few adults and what they needed to stay safe. Staying there for a few days gave a push to anyone who did the trip ; it felt incredible to finally leave the place they had been stuck at for 2 years. Nayeon and Chaeyoung took part of it, mostly to help take care of the children but also to enjoy the time away form their parents. 

 

They had brought an astronomy book with them, already looking forward to spending a night outside.

 

They watched the stars on their last night, laying on the floor, on the burned and itchy grass, but they didn’t mind. Nayeon’s eyes following Chaeyoung’s finger, pointing at the bright stars above them. The light of the moon made the scene feel a bit surreal, and Nayeon held her breath for a few seconds as she slowly intertwined her fingers with Chaeyoung’s free ones, and let out a small sigh of relief when the younger girl held her hand back. 

 

« Isn’t the floor hurting you back ? »

 

« No, it’s okay. And I have a really nice care taker by my side, so I’m not worried. » she gave a light squeeze to Nayeon’s hand. 

 

« Right, i’m the best ! » the girl faked confidence as she felt her heart beat a bit faster at the kind words. 

 

They almost got lost on their way back the day after, but Chaeyoung somehow managed to put them back on the road. She even agreed to run tot he village with the kids, and Nayeon wondered how she still had energy after the days they had spent taking care of these noisy little demons. It seemed they both liked kids. 

 

a warm welcome was waiting for them back home, and Nayeon wondered if the country was still at war when life was this good. 

 

The next weeks were class-free, and it made the days more boring than usual. They quickly ran out of things to do, of books to read, of things to draw. The army truck didn’t go by their village once, and they saw it as a goos sign. Chaeyoung’s back hurt less and less, and Nayeon only grew more and more found of the girl. 

 

One day, as they were lazily waving sheet of papers in front of their faces to feel less hot, sitting in front of Nayeon’s house, a bowl of rare pieces of watermelon between their legs, Nayeon suddenly remembered the abandoned bakery and told Chaeyoung about it. The girl agreed to go there when it would feel less hot, she didn’t feel like moving all at the moment. They watched as 2 bored kids crossed the street running after a bunch of terrified chickens, Chaeyoung laughing when one of them fell, and Nayeon kicked her leg, almost dropping the bowl of watermelon on the floor. 

 

They went to the bakery as promised, went the sun began to set down and the heat was less palpable. Nayeon demonstrated how good of a singing place it was, and Chaeyoung suggested cleaning the place for more comfort. 

 

It took them the last two weeks of July to turn the bakery back into a clean, constructed building. They were helped by kids most of the times, some days adults ; they were never alone in the old place. They discovered old paintings Chaeyoung had fun drawing, a recipe book, an old cutlery set Chaeyoung swore was made of gold and that Nayeon had a hard time convincing her it wasn’t. 

 

They decided to hold a little party to celebrate their achievement, inviting the whole for one evening of singing, dancing, of completely forgetting about the war and any of their worries. Someone even managed to make fireworks, and Nayeon felt like she had been taken back to her usual summer vacation, only this time, she was holding the hand of the only person she was sure she would die for. 

 

But everything came to an end very abruptly when the purge happened.

 

When Nayeon woke up, the first thing she thought was that it was way too quiet. she slowly got out of bed, the feeling that something was wrong sticking on the back of her neck. She got dressed up, checked herself fin the mirror and got ready to leave the room. She grabbed the handle but didn’t move it. She felt like opening the door would lead to a drastic change in her life ; her grip on the handle tighten as her heartbeat rang loudly inside her ears, only barely slowing down when she heard someone come up the stairs. As if saying, it was time. 

 

She opened the door before the person could knock. 

 

« Nayeon… » her cousin looked vivid. « there’s been a purge. They took anyone that was accused of being a communist. the Son family has been targeted- »

 

It was enough for Nayeon to run down the stairs and towards Chaeyoung’s house. her lungs were burning, but she didn’t care. 

 

If you had to pick a country more anti-communist than the USA itself, it would be South Korean at that time ; The Rhee government wiped out a good 10% of the population of Jeju island for suspected « communist sympathizers » in 1949, and insanely enough, continued during the war. Sending soldiers to kill his own population while the other part was already getting ran over. Many other suspects died during the 50’s.

 

Knowing this, Nayeon was absolutely terrified. If the Son family really had been accused, Chaeyoung would be dead by now. The soldiers were very efficient, and no one had doubts about their capacities. 

 

There was a crowd around the house, a quiet one, and Nayeon had to hold her stomach when she saw the head less bodies of her favorite dance teacher and of one of the nicest librarians she had ever met. Her vision got blurry in the seconds, and she almost fainted before she realized that the children were not here. She dashed inside the house, people screaming for her to get out, searched every room, but they were not there. Despite the bodies outside, she felt a bit relieved. 

 

She searched around the village, screaming their names, stopping dead at the sight of the library burned down. No more books, shelves half eaten by the fire, the roof gone. She carefully made her way inside and found one book still somehow intact, but no human bodies. She felt her chest tighten, more and more worried about her friend. 

 

She realized she had forgotten one place as she cleaned the cover of the book with her shirt, and ran again towards the renovated bakery. She got her foot caught on the step in front of the door and almost slammed her face against the ground, but grabbed the table near the entrance before that could happen. She stayed quiet in the middle of the main room, hyper aware of any sounds that could reach her ears. She heard a faint sob after a few seconds, and climbed the stairs to the first floor as fast as she could. 

 

In the corner, wrapped in each other, clothes tainted by blood and tears ruining their cheeks, Nayeon finally found the Son siblings. She slowly approached them, crouched down, abandoning the book on the floor, and gently touched their shoulders. Chaeyoung finally looked at her, with her usually soft round eyes, now filled with worry and anger. her whole body was shaking as she wrapped an arm around Nayeon, her brother doing the same, and they continued their quiet sobbing in the crook of her neck, holding the back on her shirt like it was the only thing keeping them alive. 

 

--

 

Nayeon took a breath as she closed the book in her laps, whispering the last words of the main character. I know myself, but that is all. It always felt weird to finish a book, like you were putting an end to something that mattered more in your life than you thought. That left you feeling empty. 

 

A week had passed since the communist purge in the village. The person who had accused the Son family of being communist had been found, and surely taken care of ; Nayeon could tell you all about it as she set her gaze on a black figure quite far from the village, but still in her sight from the house. That was where they left him to die, and Nayeon was sure by now that he couldn’t be alive. 

 

She had been against killing him at first, but Chaeyoung gripping on her forearm with a ferocious look on her face had convinced her. Since then, the siblings had been living in the Im house, Chaeyoung barely leaving her friend’s room, and his brother thankfully getting better quicker, going out as much as he could, without forgetting what had happened ; but he was still living. 

 

Someone joined her at the front porch, putting a bowl of apple pieces in her hands and a small smile on her face. Nayeon turned her head in her grandmother’s direction, glad someone would distract her from the ghost of the past week. She lazily munched on the apple pieces, the woman by her side observing the cover of the book. She asked Nayeon what was written in such pretty letters with a curious tone. 

 

« This side of paradise. »

 

« Was it a good book ? »

 

« A bit weird, if I can be honest. » she finished eating the food in the bowl before gathering the little bit of courage she had in her left to ask the woman a question. « Say, grandma. » 

 

« What is it, sweetheart ? Stop bouncing your leg like that, it’s going to break. » she swated the girl’s knee with the book, a small laugh escaping her lips. 

 

« Is it possible to, I mean, what would you say if I told you I think I’m in love with Chaeyoung ? » she mumbled the last part, unsure of how her grandmother would react. Never in her life, had she ever heard about that kind of love. Around her, boys loved girls and the other way around, exactly like in the book. Was it a crime ? Would she punished for it ? Would she be able to be opine about it ? Most important of all, was the young girl going to reciprocate her feelings ? 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut when her grandmother let go of the book and grabbed her hands, asking her to look at her instead of backing off like that. 

 

« Listen to me, Nayeon. There are many people here, that would say this is wrong. It is not. Your love for Chaeyoung is the most precious thing you’ll ever have in life. That young lady has made you more happy than anything else ever did. She made you lively and beautiful again. No one had made you laugh like she did since your father left for the war. » she lifted one of her hand and gently grazed her thumb against her granddaughter’s cheek. « I want you to cherish it, to treasure it. Stop putting the opinions of others before yours. Your heart is yours, after all. » 

 

Nayeon couldn’t help the tears that escaped her eyes, and thanked her grandmother about everything, her voice barely hearable above the sobs. She thought she was dreaming when her mother joined them, reassuring her that it was all okay. 

 

« And I think that Chaeyoung doesn’t need anything more than your love right now, sweetheart, don’t you think ? » 

 

In that context, Nayeon quietly slipped inside her room, making sure not to make any noise that could disturb the girl asleep on her bed. The blinds were making a poor job, as the bright light of the sun was still pouring in the whole. It only dimmed it, and only a little. The flowers on the bed table were dying, and Nayeon remplaced them with new ones, giving an instant new patch of color to the room. 

 

 She sat next to Chaeyoung, making the bed squeak a bit, and ran a hand through the girl’s short locks. The girl looked incredibly fragile between the sheets, little drops of sweat on her forehead formed by the heat in the room, the mole under her lips standing out on the girl’s pale skin. Nayeon felt a mix of sadness and love bubble inside her chest as she admired the girl’s features and decided it was time to wake her up. 

 

She called her name a few times, and Chaeyoung rubbed her eyes as she slowly but surely woke up, her hand grabbing Nayeon’s as soon as she registered who was next to her. She set her still tired gaze on her friend’s face and gave her a lazy smile. 

 

« Chaeyoung, I’m in love with you. » was what she bluntly said instead of the confession she had prepared on her way to the room. « I know it might not be a good time, with what happened last week, and anything that’s going to happen and, and how bad you’re feeling b-but it thought you should know. » she couldn’t help the stuttering as Chaeyoung looked at her like what she had just said meant nothing. 

 

« So you’re not saying that because my parents died a few days ago ? » the voice was weak, impossibly hurt and extremely insecure, the opposite of the girl’s expression, like Chaeyoung was afraid anything that would be told to her was fake. 

 

« No. I don’t think I could love anyone more than I love you, and your weird ways of drawing trees sometimes, how you sing to your brother to help him fall asleep, the passion you thrive of whenever we do something you love. » she couldn’t stop talking as Chaeyoung sat up on the bed, not letting go of her hand. « I love how you can make my day bright in an instant and god I cant breath. » 

 

The short girl was tightly hugging her, and Nayeon was sure she could hear the way too loud beating of her heart. she hugged her back with trembling arms, feeling like something big had been lifted of her shoulders. She couldn’t help her shaky breath as she heard Chaeyoung say she loved her back in the softest voice ever against her chest. 

 

As Chaeyoung fell back asleep in the older girl’s arms, Nayeon was pretty sure that she had finally found her own side of paradise, in this little corner of a broken Korea, destroyed by the war, but surely not missing beautiful blooming feelings such as love. 

 

it felt like everything was finally going to be alright. 

 

—

 

Summer time is always the best of what might be. 

Charles Bowden