—~~—

19

Sometimes Kyungsoo couldn’t breathe with how much his chest ached. 

Sometimes he just sat in one place for hours on end, and didn’t move a muscle, just stared into the distance at nothing. 

He hardly had the strength to venture out of his treehouse.  Everything around him seemed a little more dull, a little less bright.  A lot more ugly.

His powers were weak, the energy of the forest not good.  

It had been one year since Jongin had walked out of Kyungsoo’s territory.  

Kyungsoo tried very hard not to notice that the amaryllis flowers did not bloom that year.

—~~—

Every once in a while, Kyungsoo would catch a shadow out of the corner of his eye… the shadow of a figure darting between the trees.

Beckoning.

Every once in a while, Kyungsoo would give in, and chase after it.

Even though he knew he was just chasing a vision.  A ghost.

In and out of the trees, he could catch glimpses of Kai’s strong back, white shirt billowing around him as he moved, bare feet pattering on the earth.  

Kyungsoo would draw close to him, hand out-stretched, so close—

Kai would disappear behind a branch, out of view, and come out on the other side, and Kyungsoo would find himself staring at the same figure, but knowing, just knowing that it was Jongin this time. 

And Kyungsoo would stop in place, weak, out of breath, body petrified and words building in his throat as Jongin slowed to a walk, head bowed as he made his way toward the edges of the forest.  Never stopping to stare back, or say goodbye. 

Gone.

Forever.

—~~—

On his worse days, there were two figures, Kai and Jongin, mirroring each other as they moved through the bare branches.  

Neither of them ever looked back at Kyungsoo.  They were always always moving forward, always moving away, staring at something in the distance that Kyungsoo couldn’t make out.

Occasionally, the two figures would share glances with each other, eyes catching and holding, even as they continued to move.

Always moving, just out of reach.

Back toward the Human city.

Away from the Wilds.

Away from Kyungsoo.

—~~—

“Kyungsoo?”

The Earth Spirit didn’t move.

“Kyungsoo…?  Hey, Kyungsoo!”

There were suddenly hands on his shoulders, shaking him harshly, causing his vision to jerk back into focus.  A panicked face swam into his vision, vaguely familiar and wholly unexpected.  He blinked several times.

“Joonmyun?” Kyungsoo croaked, voice scraping from disuse.  “What are you doing here?”

“What happened to you?”

Kyungsoo just continued to blink up at his old friend, realizing that parts of his vision were obscured by his overgrown bangs.  Joonmyun cupped his face, brushed his hair aside, and stared down at him in obvious distress.

“How long have you been sitting on this boulder?”

Kyungsoo honestly didn’t know the answer to that.  An hour?  A day?  Two weeks?

Longer than his body needed to sit with his legs folded and back curved.  But one day he’d sat down and then he just… didn’t get up again.  What was the point anymore?  

“Come on,” Joonmyun whispered, his voice cracking. “I can’t lose you too.”

If it weren’t for the Bind keeping him in existence, Kyungsoo would be long gone.  Completely burned out.  

He clenched his teeth on a whine as Joonmyun carefully pushed him over so that he was lying on his side.  The Water Spirit slowly extended Kyungsoo’s legs out, rubbing feeling back into each one.  He moved along his body, massaging his back and shoulders, pulling his arms up and unclenching his hands. 

“What’s this?”

It took Kyungsoo a while to figure out what the older Spirit was referring to. “A photograph. I think.”

“Oh, yeah, I know that.  But…I mean, why do you have it?”

Kyungsoo remained quiet, his thoughts threatening to overwhelm him again.  Joonmyun seemed to sense the change in his mood, and immediately dropped the subject. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long,” he murmured, as he went back to massaging. The smooth backing of the photograph was slipped back into Kyungsoo’s grip, and the Earth Spirit relaxed ever so slightly.  He felt better with it close to him.  “Minseok wasn’t doing so well on the coast.”

Kyungsoo grunted, allowing the Water Spirit to turn him over so that he was looking up into the canopy of the trees.  

It must be winter.  

There were hardly any leaves on the branches. 

“In fact,”  Joonmyun continued, “that’s why I came back here.  I think…I think Minseok is about to lose himself to the darkness. The pollution has gotten a lot worse, and thousands of sea animals are dying.  He’s full of so much hate, Kyungsoo... I don’t know how to help him anymore.”

Kyungsoo could feel waves of sadness pulsing off the Water Spirit, and he could feel it stir in himself as well.  Another Spirit of the Wilds, lost to the darkness of human influence.  A shame.    

“I’m scared of what he’ll do if he loses himself to that black energy.  There’s a Human town on the coast, close to his ocean territories—“

Kyungsoo stopped breathing.  

“—he might flood the whole thing to get revenge.  It’ll kill everyone.”

Kyungsoo sat up, moving so fast his vision blurred, and Joonmyun flinched away.  “This town, does it have a college?”

Joonmyun looked startled at the sudden question.  “A college?  You mean one of those places where young adult Humans go to die?”

“Wait, what?”   

“I don’t think that’s what actually happens, they just always complain of it.  There is a college in the town.  Very close to the ocean.  I spent a lot of time there while I was working with Minseok.  They had very nice fountains with pretty good energy and—“

Maybe it isn’t the same college.  Maybe Jongin is on a different coast, safe and sound, far away from any wrathful Spirits.  

Kyungsoo’s thoughts were going faster than the whip of a vine, flipping through every worse case scenario he could imagine.  

“—And I think there may actually be a way to stop him.”

Kyungsoo’s mind came to a screeching halt.  He tuned back into the conversation.  “A way to stop Minseok?  How?  By talking him down?”

Joonmyun’s expression had gone grave and thoughtful.  “It’s too late for that.  I think there’s only one way to keep him from destroying himself and the town, and… well, you may not like it.”

Joonmyun’s eyes slowly dropped to the boulder, and Kyungsoo’s did too.  A moment passed where they both just stared at the rock, and then suddenly Kyungsoo understood.  He inhaled in betrayal and scrambled to his feet.  “You want to Bind him to something?”

“It’s the only way to save him from himself, Kyungsoo.  You would’ve burnt yourself out centuries ago if it weren’t for the Bind.  We can’t keep losing Spirits like this.”  Joonmyun was on his feet too, hands clenched into fists.  They were both breathing hard, and Kyungsoo could feel his legs shaking, but he refused to back down on this.

“I wouldn’t wish this fate on anyone.”

“And meanwhile, Minseok will destroy himself, and an entire city of Humans.”

“What do you expect me to do about it anyways?  I didn’t Bind myself to this boulder.  I don’t even know how it’s done!”

Joonmyun began to pace.  “Luhan and I have been searching for a Human Shaman.  If we can just find someone who can—”

“Luhan is in on this too?”

“Will you help or not Kyungsoo?”

The Earth Spirit grew quiet, burning with indignant rage.  He did not like this.  

He did not like this one bit.

“We must find a way to communicate with the Humans,” Joonmyun said softly.  “Or we Spirits will cease to exist in these forms, and the Wilds, the earth, the ocean, everything here…will die.”

For so long Kyungsoo had let his bitter hate for Humans guide his every move.  Imagining an age of co-habitation, of good energy, and pure souls once more.  It just didn’t seem possible.

Kyungsoo stared down at the picture that was clenched in his hand.  “It’s not like I can do much.  I can’t even leave these territories.”

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly toward the photograph.  “Can’t you? Or won’t you?”

Kyungsoo glared.

“You know what Kai would want you to do, Kyungsoo—“

“Don’t!” Kyungsoo snapped.  “Don’t you dare bring him into this.”

“I will!  For too long you’ve been shutting him out,”  Joonmyun growled back, his voice rising.  The Water Spirit threw his arms out wide, gesturing around them.  “He’s still here.  He has always been here.  We are Spirits of the Wilds, and as long as the Wilds exist, then so do we in some form or another.  But listen to him, Kyungsoo.  He’s trying to communicate with you.”

Kyungsoo trembled with suppressed rage.  “Just go, Joonmyun.  Go!”

The Water Spirit jumped down from the boulder and made his way toward the edge of the clearing.  “Don’t wait too long to decide, Kyungsoo.  Meet me at my Waterfall when you’re ready.”

“Leave!” 

—~~— 

One day passed, and then two, and guilt began to spread within Kyungsoo like a crippling disease.  Guilt for fighting with Joonmyun, guilt for sitting by and not even trying to help Minseok, guilt for ignoring so many obvious signs that Kai had been shoving in his face.  

The forest constantly trying to comfort him.  

The visions of Kai and Jongin darting in and out the trees.

The non-blooming amaryllis.

He’d had an explanation for all of them.  His own Spirit abilities, his depression, bad energy.  But not Kai.  Not Kai trying to tell him something.  

On the third day of tormenting himself, guilt wracking his frame and thoughts of Jongin disappearing into the dark ocean, Kyungsoo stood up and screamed. 

Just screamed.  Just let it all out.  

He screamed for as long and as hard as he could, until his lungs couldn’t compress any further.  And then he stood on the boulder, panting, his quick breaths crystallizing in the cool winter air.  

“What should I do?” he called weakly.  “Do you want me to go?”

Do you want me to break this Bind?

The Flower Spirit did not call back, of course, but Kyungsoo stood still, waiting, for something, anything.  A moment passed in complete silence, and then a shadowy figure appeared on the edge of the clearing, his back to Kyungsoo.

Kai.

The shadow figure began to move, and Kyungsoo scrambled down, following after him as quickly as he could.  He followed him the same as he did every time, eyes focused on his familiar back, heart hammering in his chest, wishing he could reach out and touch him, just one last time… but this time, he knew that Kai was taking him somewhere, and all he had to do was believe and follow.

Soon enough, the Earth Spirit could hear the familiar roar of a waterfall, bringing his memories back to that fatal day all those centuries ago.  His steps faltered as the shadow figure faded from view.  Kyungsoo had not been back to this clearing since the day Kai had vanished. 

A breeze brushed around him, unseasonably warm, and Kyungsoo felt his anxiety dim.  “Are you sure this is what you want me to do?” he questioned into the air.  

The breeze grew frenzied, strong, and suddenly Kyungsoo could swear there was a body pressed against him from behind, wrapping him in a warm embrace.  

And then pushing him forward.

Urging him onward.  

Kyungsoo took a deep breath.  “I’ll always love you, Kai.”

The breeze ruffled his too-long hair, and then spun upwards, leaving him in absolute stillness.

The Earth Spirit wiped his eyes and then took one step forward, and then another.  This was usually the point at which the noose around his neck began to tighten, the Bind calling him back into his territories… his prison.  

Kyungsoo closed his eyes, held his breath, and took another step forward.

Nothing.

He squinted one eye open and looked down, reached up to feel around his neck.  

Nothing.  No pain, no choking, no overwhelming urge to fall to the ground and crawl back into the forest.  He felt nothing.  

Kyungsoo blinked and stared at the clearing in front of him.  The waterfall was falling peacefully a few hundred feet away, and not too far from that the ravine crumbled outward.  Kyungsoo could see exactly where he’d been standing when he’d cracked it open.  

And there…he looked away, not wanting to think about what had transpired in that particular spot. 

The Earth Spirit moved further into the clearing, his body trembling with weightlessness.  

He was out of the forest, his territories, for the first time in centuries.  Which meant the Bind was broken…which meant—

—He was in love with a Human.  

“How do you know when you’re in love?” Jongin had blurted.

“You know you’re in love because you find yourself thinking about the other person all the time,”  Kyungsoo had said lowly.  “You want to know what makes them happy, what makes them sad?  If they aren’t right next to you, you wonder what they could be doing instead.  They make your heart beat fast, but at the same time you feel so calm around them, comfortable…. You’d do anything for them.  Be anything for them.”

He was in love with Jongin. 

He was in love with Jongin.   

He picked up his steps, began to run. “Joonmyun!”  he shouted.

The Water Spirit appeared from behind the waterfall, an incredulous smile on his face.  “You came!”  

Kyungsoo slowed his steps as he reached the edge of the pool, feeling for the photo that was carefully stashed in the pocket of his tunic.  A photo that he’d stared at for months now.  A picture of he and Jongin sitting on the boulder, Jongin maybe all of 16 years old, smiling so brightly at the camera, and Kyungsoo peering from just over his shoulder, expression blank and eyes wide.  Kyungsoo remembered the moment well.  He hadn’t ever been that close to a Human in his entire existence.  Jongin had taken the photo with that contraption he’d referred to as a ‘cell phone’.

Kyungsoo treated the image like a lifeline now.  “I can find a Shaman,” Kyungsoo said lowly, “but you have to promise he won’t get hurt.”

Joonmyun’s smile settled into something more serious.  “The safest place he could be is with us, Kyungsoo.  We just need to speak with him.  He may not agree to this at all.  But right now, he’s our only hope.”

Kyungsoo stared down at the photo again, tracing his thumb over Jongin’s happy face.  Hoping he could make it to him before Minseok wreaked havoc on the entire coast.  Kyungsoo would do anything to keep Jongin safe.  

“Are you ready?”

Kyungsoo swallowed and put the photograph back into his tunic, staring out into the unknown distance.  Staring at a world he only knew through bits and pieces of trash people had left behind.  And the stories of one young Human boy. 

“More than ready.”

—~~—  

A/N:  FINALLY!  That slow burn is burning now.  I thought we'd never get to this point!  

I'm thinking one or two more chapters left.  :) :) :)

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