"How many times did we keep repeating this part?"

Chanwoo stopped his movement and stood frozen after the leader complained. Sweats were dripping from his face, hair messy from the flood he made just from the choreography. He was exhausted and nothing seems to be much of help. Instead of replying, the maknae just looked at the ground feeling really sorry. Hanbin sighed in frustration causing his heart to feel more heavy by the guilt.

"It's been two days and I don't see you progressing. We're only this close for the next comeback, Chanwoo." Hanbin reminded the maknae. It's been years and words like these still hurt him. Seeing the leader with a disappointed look in his face alone could make the maknae feel so useless. Was he overreacting? Wait no, with all of the years he spent with the members he should've improved by now. Why can't he just improve so the members wouldn't have to suffer?

"I-I'll work harder hyung" Chanwoo promised trying to look at the leader's way. Why does he always have to be the cause of the intimidating look in Hanbin's face?

Hanbin kind of felt bad but this was no time to feel pity. He needs to make sure all the members do as perfect as they can so they could impress the CEO. That way maybe iKON won't wait so long for another comeback after this final one for this year.

"I know you will. But, we spent so much time only on you and now it's getting late. I have to end the session now" Hanbin explained to the maknae. It was basically a complaint. Chanwoo shivered at the reminder. They had to waste time just for him.

"I'll practice on my own then, hyung" Chanwoo announced causing a raise of an eyebrow from the leader. Hanbin froze for a second to think before he finally reply.

"If that's what you want then I won't stop you," Hanbin said not disagreeing with Chanwoo's decision. "But don't get back too late. We have schedule tomorrow, okay?" Hanbin reminded not wanting the maknae to suffer at the shooting tomorrow. Chanwoo immediately nodded at the hyung in front of him.

"Well, alright then. I'll end today's session you guys can go back to your rooms" Hanbin announced to the others before he left. They all nodded at the leader and stayed silent for awhile before the Donghyuk finally approached the maknae.

"Chanu-ya, it's okay. I could teach you that part of the choreography if you want" Donghyuk offered placing his hand on the maknae's shoulder in hopes to cheer him up. Chanwoo smiled at him. "It's okay, Donghyuk. We have schedule tomorrow, I can practice it myself" Chanwoo said refusing the offer.

Donghyuk didn't know what to answer and gave him a worried look. Jinhwan joined in to their conversation. "Yah! Don't you want some company while you practice?" Jinhwan asked also worrying for their maknae. Chanwoo giggled at the worried members in front of him.

"Hyung, it's almost 1 am and we have to wake up by 7 for tomorrow's schedule. It's better to have one member feel like a zombie than two." Chanwoo explained not wanting them to give him company. "But really. Thank you for your worry." He continued smiling at them.

Both of the members didn't know what to answer so they stayed silent before finally Jinhwan opened his mouth to say something. "Well, we're going to the supermarket after this. Do you want us to get you some drinks?" Jinhwan offered.

"No thanks, hyung" Chanwoo refused politely with a smile. Jinhwan could only sigh in defeat. "Okay then. Don't force yourself too much, okay?" The mathyung said still worrying. "Nee, hyung" Chanwoo answered as he nodded before Jinhwan and the rest left him alone.

Chanwoo took a deep breath once the coast was clear. He immediately started to do the choreography from the start till finish but he somehow always manages to make some stupid mistakes. He keeps messing the part Hanbin has told him to improve which made him more exhausted and frustrated.

He looks himself in the mirror that was surrounding the walls of the room. He hated it. He hates seeing himself so pathetic, so pitiful. He was a big mess and he hated it.

That is why he the immediately turned off the lights. The reason why he does that everytime he is in the room that always brings nightmares. He is sick of seeing himself always failing, always somehow be a disappointment to his own members. He is tired and sick of himself.

Chanwoo didn't know when he ended up lying on the floor and was already tearing up, almost a sobbing mess. He tried to get up again but his body was too tired to even lift his body up so he feel to his knees. He ended up hugging his knees and cry even more.

Pathetic. That's what you are. Pathetic. The members worked so hard and you can't even keep up with them? What are you even good at?

His sobbed even harder as he hugged his own knees even tighter. His mind keep telling him how much of an embarrassment he is.
 

Why are you being a ing mess now? Aren't you supposed to try and be decent for the hyungs? What are you doing??
 

But he couldn't do it. Even when he wants too. He is invested both emotionally and physically. The urge to get up wasn't even there. He felt empty, he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He felt so.. tired.

Hanbin hyung has more problems than you do and instead of helping him you add up to his problems. And you still have a room to complain that you're tired? 

Chanwoo screams, his thoughts are eati