Crushed Hope
Sunbae (hiatus)"Now that we're done eating, let's get some dessert," Myungsoo said.
"Dessert?" Sungyeol echoed. The two of them were standing outside the Chinese restaurant, and Sungyeol had thought they would go their separate ways after having finished their food.
"You weren't planning on running away from me already, were you?" Myungsoo scowled at the younger with mock anger.
"N-no of course not!" Sungyeol stuttered, taken aback by the black-haired boy's accuracy. "What would you like to eat for dessert, sunbae?"
Myungsoo bit his lower lip in contemplation. Then, his face lighting up in sudden excitement, he exclaimed, "I know! Bingsu!"
And with that, Myungsoo grabbed Sungyeol's hand again, like it was the most natural thing to do in the world. Maybe it was natural for perfect people like sunbae. But for quiet and shy and not perfect people like Sungyeol, it was everything but natural. Sungyeol could feel his heartbeat increase to the point where he felt he was sure that Myungsoo would hear it. He wanted to pull his hand away, but he also wanted very much to never let go.
Myungsoo pulled him along, his strides quick and purposeful. Soon enough they arrived outside a small bingsu place called 'Snowflake'.
"Here," Myungsoo said as he released his grip on Sungyeol's hand. Sungyeol felt at once disappointed that they had arrived so soon. He had wanted to hold the older's hand a little longer.
They entered the small café and found a table. Myungsoo ordered a strawberry bingsu, and Sungyeol noticed at once that the girl working in the café were eyeing the older with lovestruck eyes. Am I looking at sunbae that way? Sungyeol brooded. He hoped not.
"What are you thinking about, my little pet?"
Sungyeol snapped back to the present. Myungsoo was resting his chin in his hand, his elbow on the table. He was staring at the younger in a fascinated sort of way.
Sungyeol blinked from embarrassment and said nothing.
"Answer me," Myungsoo said.
"I was thinking this seems like a nice place," Sungyeol replied awkwardly.
"You're lying," Myungsoo guessed.
"No, I'm not," Sungyeol assured him.
"I'll let you get away with it this time," Myungsoo smiled. "I'm in a good mood today."
"Oh," Sungyeol breathed. "I'm glad to hear that you're happy."
"But do you know why I'm happy?"
"Because you like bingsu?" Sungyeol tried.
"Ddeng," Myungsoo shook his head.
"Because you like jjajangmyeon...?"
"Ddeng," Myungsoo chuckled.
"... then I don't know."
"Oh, you silly little thing," Myungsoo said in amused exasperation. "What will I do with you."
Sungyeol wasn't sure where the older was going with the conversation, so he decided to keep his mouth closed.
"Oh look, here comes the bingsu," Myungsoo said happily as he looked at the girl carrying a bowl of shaved ice on a tray. She arrived at their table and carefully set the tray down in front of them.
"I hope you'll enjoy your bingsu," she said sweetly.
"We will," Myungsoo replied to the girl, smiling just as sweetly. Sungyeol felt a twist of something that might have been jealousy in the pit of his stomach.
"And I was wondering..." the girl continued, a little more shyly now. "If maybe I could have your phone number?" She looked with hopeful eyes at Myungsoo.
Sungyeol felt another flare of jealousy burn inside him, more painful this time.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Myungsoo answered, an apologetic frown on his brow. "I'm already dating someone."
Horror struck as Sungyeol heard these last words. He has a girlfriend?! For the third time in a row he felt a stab of jealousy go through him. He wasn't sure he would be able to keep his composure much longer.
"Oh," the girl breathed, already turning and walking away. She was clearly disappointed. Sungyeol felt just as shattered. Sunbae has a girlfriend! He is taken! He will never be... mine. Sungyeol felt stupid even thinking the last thought. Of course sunbae would never be his. It was silly to even entertain the idea. Yet unconsciously he had started to wish, to hope...
Feeling like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water in his face, suddenly bringing him back to the cold reality, Sungyeol sighed in defeat.
"Why are you sighing?" Myungsoo inquired, looking questioningly at him.
"Sunbae..." Sungyeol said, unable to help himself. "I didn't know that you were seeing someone."
Myungsoo was silent for a moment. Then he said, "I did tell you that I had found someone to my liking, remember?"
"Yes, I remember," Sungyeol nodded sadly, so clearly remembering now. How could he have forgotten it? A part of him had probably hoped that the older had been joking. But apparently that wasn't the case. "So you're dating that person?"
"Well," Myungsoo contemplated. "I wouldn't say that we are dating. Not yet. We are only friends as of now. But I will be sure to make the person mine in the end." By the end of his explanation, Myungsoo's eyes were shining with determination. Sungyeol felt cold as he took in the older's confidence. Sunbae was sure to succeed. Which consequently meant that Sungyeol would fail.
"I see," he finally managed to reply, a lump in his throat.
"Last time we talked about the subject, you said that no one had caught your eye yet," Myungsoo continued absentmindedly. "What about now?"
"Now?" Sungyeol repeated weakly.
"Anyone to your liking yet?" Myungsoo looked at him with probing eyes.
Feeling like he would drown in the older's deep, brown eyes, he answered honestly. "Yes."
Myungsoo blinked, taken aback. Then a frown appeared between his brows. "Did you just say yes? Yes, you have someone you like?"
Sungyeol nodded silently, looking at the table.
"... who is it?" Myungsoo demanded, his voice quiet. "Tell me. Who is it?"
Sungyeol just shook his head.
"Tell me," the older growled between gritted teeth.
Sungyeol kept his mouth closed, feeling ashamed of his own feelings.
"Is it that girl?" Myungsoo asked, his voice cold as ice now. "The one you were kissing?"
The last sentence made Sungyeol look up at once in surprise and confusion. "Kissing?"
As if realizing his mistake, Myungsoo clamped his mouth together. He was looking at Sungyeol with a horrorstruck expression.
"What do you mean, kissing?" Sungyeol probed.
"Nothing. Forget it," the black-haired boy said hastily.
"I've never kissed anyone before in my life," Sungyeol said.
"I'm sure you haven't," Myungsoo agreed quickly, nodding his head. "It must have been someone who looks like you. Just forget I said anything."
The older was clearly agitated, though Sungyeol hardly knew why. "Sunbae. Are you okay?"
"Yes," Myungsoo said, pulling his hand through his hair in obvious frustration. "I just remembered an errand that I have to do today."
Without warning, sunbae rose from his seat and grabbed his back-pack. "You can finish the bingsu. I'll see you later."
And with that, Myungsoo stormed out the door without so much as a backward glance.
Author's Note: You guys... T^T I'm so so terribly sorry T^T It's been a month!!! D: I haven't posted a chapter in a month!! T^T How awful of me T^T Please forgive me T^T
It seems like the more time that passes, the harder it is to post a new chappie... I really don't know why...
(*Quietly whispers* Honestly, lately I feel like my writing just isn't what it used to be... I feel like I've gotten old, and all my imagination has just slipped through my fingers... T^T)
Sorry for my sappy rant... you can just ignore it really...
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