"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

- Albert Einstein

CHAPTER 12

Siwon opened his eyes.

He was lying down on his bed. The sunlight was streaming through the glass wall to the foot of his bed. He slowly raised himself up, shifted his legs from the bed unto the carpeted floor. He looked at the framed photo placed on the bedside table. It was their family picture. He brushed his fingers through his hair. This day...this day had come again.

He stood up and walked towards the glass wall plastered on his cavernous room. There he stared at the surroundings. It was a moment or so before he decided to take a shower.

After he cleaned himself up, he proceeded to his closet room. But instead of changing to his school uniform, he took out a white polo shirt, pants and a black Armani suit. He dressed up, combed his hair, took his cellphone from his bed and went out of his room.

He met his mother on the hallway. She walked towards him and stared at him. “Do you want to eat breakfast dear?”

“I’m not hungry Umma”

His mother smiled. ”Me too.” she brushed her hand to Siwon’s hair, and then caressed his cheeks. “You are becoming to look like your father” Siwon smiled but didn’t respond. He was just staring at his mother’s loving face.

She hooked her hand to Siwon’s arm. “Let’s go.”

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Siwon expertly manoeuvred his black Lamborghini. His mother was seated beside him, watched the streets pass by in a blur.

“Umma, I think you should sleep, it’s a long drive. I’ll wake you up when we arrive.” Siwon glanced at his mother. He knows his mother will refuse. He had been asking the same question for 8 years now, but he would always get the response.

“No...I’ll be alright dear.” She touched her son’s cheek.

Siwon released a heavy sigh. “If you say so...”

Silence then fell between the two of them. Siwon is close to his mom, they always talk to each other. But this day, for eight years now, is the only day where silence is more comfortable than sound.

They have arrived to their destination. Siwon went out of his car, walked to the other side and opened the door. His mother went out. She hooked her arms to Siwon’s.

“Will you be alright Umma?” he asked, concerned at his mother.

Her mother looked at him, her eyes were full of apprehension. “I will son...I will...but, what about you?”

Siwon averted his eyes. “I will Umma...”

They walked towards a deserted piece of land. Trees were situated here and there, the sunlight illuminating the whole grassy land. They walked towards a little hill, Siwon helping her mother, as they mounted it. It has been eight years, but they can still feel the heaviness of each stride, the anxiety of each breath.

They had arrived at the top of the little hill, where two large mounds of earth can be seen, shaded by a large tree.

The grave of his father and older brother.

 Siwon supported his mother as they walked towards it. When they reached the graves, Siwon’s mother released his arm and knelt on the ground. As she did so, she put her trembling hand on the mound of earth that was his husband’s grave. “Honey...has you been well? Is our son well?” tears were falling down her cheeks.

Siwon knelt too, and embraced his mother tightly. It always breaks his heart seeing his mother like this. It’s excruciatingly painful to see the graves of his brother and father. He wanted to cry, but couldn’t so because he doesn’t want his mother to see. It would only shatter his mom’s heart furthermore.

“Umma...please don’t cry...”

But his mother sobbed much harder. “...what did we do to deserve this...?”

Siwon did not answer. Because he, as well, have been asking the same question for years...

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The bell rang.

Lunch break. Yoona thought. She walked out of the classroom, expecting to see annoying Siwon, only to smack herself. He’s absent. Foolish Yoona.

She sighed. She doesn’t know what hit her, but today’s lunch break does not appeal to her as it had yesterday. Maybe because Siwon is not here...

She cursed herself. Of course it isn’t about him. Her appetite does not depend on a person’s presence or absence. She does not miss him, she does not hope that he would be here out of the blue, as he would always do, she wasn’t looking forward to anything either...

But deep down, she feels the opposite. Even if she refused to accept it.

“Why the long face Yoona -shii?”

Yoona’s eyes widened with anticipation, Siwon? She bolted her head up. But it wasn’t Siwon, it was Eunhyuk, accompanied by Tiffany. She dropped her eyes.

“Why do you look disappointed? Are you perhaps expecting someone else?” Tiffany .

Yoona opened . “...no unnie...I was just...I was just surprised to see the two of you in this floor. What made you come here?” she asked slyly.

It was Eunhyuk who answered. “Well, Siwon sent me a message—“

“He messaged you?” without thinking, Yoona grabbed her phone, but the screen is empty, no missed calls and the likes. Her shoulder dropped for a few inches.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to bother you that’s why he hasn’t contacted you yet.” Tiffany said.

Yoona averted her eyes. “No unnie...I was just checking the time...” she felt the reddening of her cheeks.

Tiffany giggled. “Yeah...of course you were...”

Yoona looked at Eunhyuk. “Sorry for the interruption what was it again?”

Eunhyuk laughed. “You’re blushing Yoona-shii...anyways, Siwon sent me a message at the crack of dawn. He said,” he paused. Immitating Siwon’s voice, he continued. “‘Hyuk, I’m afraid Yoona might skip lunch today, so could you and Tiffany be my proxy and invite her to eat lunch? Drag her if you must. She’s a stubborn piece of work.’ And so we are here Yoona-shii, to drag you to the canteen.”

“that stupid man.” She exclaimed, but she was rather amused.

“So shall we go? I really don’t want to literally drag you.” Eunhyuk mused.

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It was late in the afternoon before Siwon and his mother decided to leave the graves. His mother’s eyes were red due to continuous crying. Siwon supported his mom all throughout his car. She was so tired, it’s like strength had drain out from her.

When they are travelling, Siwon’s mother fell asleep. She was still asleep when they reached home. He didn’t wake her. Instead, he carried her out from his car up to his mother’s bedroom. There he lay her down and covered her with a blanket. He sat beside her bed and stared at his exhausted mother. Now that she’s asleep, he let his guard down. He let his tears fall down.

To see his mother like this, even once in a year, breaks his heart. His chest hurts so badly. He let all of his feelings out, the anxiety, the depression, his mother’s face; his father’s when he was still alive, and his older brother Kangta, the unbearable loneliness, the graves...

The thought of what would it be like if that incident didn’t happen...

The pain overwhelmed him, he went out of his mother’s room, and then proceeded to his car, he started the ignition and drove out from those iron gates...

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A loud ringing sound interrupted Yoona’s sleep. Eyes half-close, she reached for her phone and answered.

“Hello?” she asked. But there was no response, all she could hear was the sound of breathing.

“Hello?”

I moment passed before someone answered.

“...Yoona-shii”

A baritone voice spoke, when she recognized the owner of the voice, her drowsiness totally vanished. She sat up.

“Siwon...?” she looked at the wall clock. It’s already five minutes past twelve.

“Yoona-shii... can I talk to you for a sec? I’m here...outside your house.”

Yoona was stunned. “What?” she looked outside the window, and there she saw a black car and the outline of a man.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“...s-sure...wait a bit...” she ended the conversation and went to retrieve her bathrobe. She immediately went out of her room, all the while tried to wear her bathrobe. She got out of the main door.

She slowed her walk. She gazed at the man wearing a black suit, sitting at the gutter near a black car. Sensing her stare, he turned at her.

Siwon smiled. “Hello Yoona-shii.”

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THANK YOU everyone! :D