You don't know when and why the ceiling seems to appear interesting to you that you have been staring at it for almost thirty minutes already. The previous event that you saw with your own eyes flashed on the ceiling like a play in the theatre. You remember going into a café earlier this morning, after submitting your manuscript to your team. It turns out to be Jin’s café and you saw with your own eyes, Jin, your neighbour was ‘caught in act’ while pushing the strand of a woman hair to the back of her ear. He looks like he was having fun; laughing, feeding each other and gazing at each other with love. He looks... happy.

You let out a sigh. No wonder he hasn’t been at home much lately and stop texting you after a while.

You felt your heart clenched at the thought but heck, you can no longer conceal your own feeling. You miss Jin. For these past few weeks, you have officially become a zombie, walking around as if you’re lifeless and it almost had you into trouble because you almost missed your deadline but you strive your best to get out of it last minute before the deadline and saved yourself from an eternity of trouble of getting yourself fired from your beloved publishing team. It’ll be a pain to find another publishing team.

There is an indescribable ache that lingers around your heart but vanish like a miracle when you saw his face, hear his voice or just merely reading goodnight messages from Jin. His existence himself made you feel all giddy and refreshed but it has been about a month since you last heard from him. You yearned to hear something from him again, even if it’s a simple ‘hi’ like he did the moment you first met him.

Days feel like years. You began to lost focus and you don’t even find drawing – your sole hobby – to be enjoying enough. You even spent sleepless nights thinking about him and hoping that he would appear in your dreams but it was all vain. Sometimes you even found yourself waiting for him to come out to the balcony and have a chat while drinking hot chocolate that he made. No matter what you do, what you say, there is not a single moment when you don’t think of him.

You find this as a torture. It is tormenting you physically and mentally. You never know that missing for someone would be this bad. These is the first time you’ve ever felt like this, and you dare to say that you miss him more than you missed your parent who you lived with only a year before they passed away. This feeling hurts you so much.

Then, you first saw him again this morning and it wasn’t that pleasing to see from your point of view. You are not saying that Jin is not allowed to date because he is a free man. He can date all he want. It is you who are so stupid, thinking that you might have a chance with him merely by a few exchanged conversations.

This is crazy, missing for someone who you knew was thinking of someone else other than you. You didn’t realise that you’re crying, wetting your pillow in the process.

You tried to throw away the image of him from your mind and you went to sleep with the pain hammering against your head and trace of tears on your cheeks.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

“Ddung!” you recognize the voice. You turned to your right and saw him. Jin walked over to you with two cup of drinks. He had this huge and bright smile on his face. Probably something good happened. Whatever, you don’t want to care so you faked a smile.

“Hi.” you greeted.

“I was about to go to your house.” he said.

“Why?”

“This.” he handed you one of the cup on his hand.

You took it and thanked him. He let his eyes settle on you for a while. You suddenly feel conscious about your appearance. You did your best trying to conceal the terrible dark circle under your eyes with your poor make up skills. Hope he didn’t notice it.

“You look great.” he compliment and you secretly sigh in relief. He didn’t catch it.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the bookstore.”

Your book has been published and you’re on your way to check it to see if there are any sales or not because you’re not that confident with this one. You got caught up with too many troubles along the way.

“Oh, want me to—”

“Seokjin oppa!” a woman voice interrupts you. Both turned to look at the culprit and you found yourself hard to breathe when it is the same girl you saw at his café the other day, approaching both of you – or just Jin.

“Oh, what are you doing here?” Jin asked, his face glowing.

“Why bother asking, oppa…Of course I’m here for you.” she lightly hit his chest and you wish you were invisible rather than witnessing their moment.

You want to run away which you did, excusing yourself and ran towards the elevator, ignoring Jin’s calling for your name. This is it. You’re done with Kim Seokjin. You will erase your feelings for him and just like he said before, you will find someone who really meant for you.

Author Note:

Yes! Double update. But let me remind you once again. This story is actually a one-shot but I decided to make it into chapters so some chapters may be long and some may be short, less than 1k. Thanks for reading!