It’s silent when Jungkook meets Taehyung again for their last session. There are dark and tired circles forming under the latters eyes from working long hours into the early dawn of the nights, perfecting his skills and bringing life to his artworks.

For a brief moment, Jungkook wonders whether or not he should just postpone this last session and let Taehyung rest. Maybe he could come again another time to finish this large piece but what were the chances of Jungkook being able to fly back here. Not any time soon that’s for sure.

“I just need to finish up some shading and definitions then, we’re all done,” Taehyung finally says, voice low and quiet when Jungkook slips off his shirt to lie on the side of the bed, facing away from him.

Jungkook just hums with a nod for confirmation before the familiar sound of the machine buzzes on, reverberating to life once again as the first prickle of the needles pierce his skin. The feeling unchanging and soothing, just like their time together throughout the long years; together side by side.

Jungkook would fall back into that weirdly euphoric state of mind whenever he was laying there with Taehyung’s warm hands on his human flesh, painting his body with beautiful artworks. Even the pain is pleasant when you love the art that is imprinted onto you for eternity.

It’s a hazy 2 hour session, passing a little over midnight when the machine clicks off all of a sudden.

Jungkook finds himself fluttering his eyes open to turn around, wondering what was wrong because Taehyung had stopped kind of abruptly,  only to see the latter staring blankly at the defining art piece in front of him, the machine in his hand is frozen as Jungkook sees the confused expression painted across his face.

“I can’t do it,”

Taehyung suddenly says, voice cracking slightly as he puts down the machine, hands almost trembling now if Jungkook were to stare at him closely but Jungkook just sits up instead, being careful not to irritate the new art piece as he asks the latter what was wrong because Taehyung was obviously not ok.

“Can’t do what?”

“It’s not working-I can’t do this,”

The hint of distress and fear in Taehyung’s voice is apparent as the he shakes his head, breathing in tightly while still not looking into Jungkook’s eyes.

Taehyung’s sudden outburst was beginning to worry Jungkook now.

“Hey... is everything ok?” Jungkook asks carefully this time as he tries to reach over to perhaps comfort Taehyung only to have his hand swatted away by the latter. Taken aback by the gesture, Jungkook retreats his hand, feeling a sense of hurt tingle in his chest. Taehyung has been acting weirdly indifferent with him ever since he told him that he was leaving this place indefinitely a couple of weeks ago.

Their relationship has been stale and strained. And Jungkook has been thinking if he was to blame. Or at least, if his departure had anything to do with the dark circles and blunt text messages from Taehyung.

“Am I ok you ask? I don’t know, am I ? I thought I was but I...I really can’t do this anymore,” Taehyung spills, voice full of hesitancy now. He’s not sure if this sense of wavering vulnerability was something he wanted to show Jungkook.

“If...you’re not feeling well then we can continue this tomorrow because I don’t have to leave till next Wednesday-”

“You still don’t get it Jungkook?”

There’s desperation laced in those words as Taehyung snaps back, staring at Jungkook, pretty almond eyes filled with what looked like regret and hurt to Jungkook. It made his stomach churn for some reason because he realised, it’s not the first time he has seen this expression on Taehyung. In fact, it was an expression he caught the latter wearing multiple times when they were together. He just never understood what it meant.

And for tonight, after almost 20 years together, Jungkook feels like he’s able to look at Taehyung carefully for the first time since forever. 
 

They have truly grown older, leading very different lives but still sharing the love for the arts in some way or another. Although Jungkook’s love for it may not be as strong and cultivated as Taehyung, he does appreciate and adore the aesthetics.

Of course, it never ceases to amaze Jungkook how much they’ve changed but at the same time, how things between them still always remain the same.

Looking at Taehyung in front of him like this now, under the dimly light studio with drafts of the latter’s works and previous art pieces planted on the walls shaping the interior, Jungkook catches a glimpse of a younger Taehyung. The young boy who used to hold onto his hand and lead him to the empty concrete ground behind their suburban kindergarten to show him his little drawing with the crayons he sneaked from their art classes together. Their little giggles, just two little kids sheltered and hidden away from the growing world outside of their little bubble of youth and happiness.

The sense of nostalgia sends a stinging pain to Jungkook’s chest as he realises, he is to leave this place along with Taehyung and their time together to a land unknown. The reality of his departure is suddenly overwhelming him now.

“I love you,”

Those three words fall from Taehyung’s lips, hanging dangerously by a thread as Jungkook stares blankly at male. Unmoving and confused by the sudden escalation. Was he hearing things?

“S-Sorry what?” Jungkook is scrunching his face up, taken aback as he tries to comprehend the situation.

In return, Taehyung is stoic and serious when he tells him again, affirmatively that he in fact, had said what he said.

“I’m in love with you,”

Taehyung reaffirms but Jungkook still doesn’t quite understand just yet. The haunting words of love ringing inside of the back of his head as he tries to keep his mind clear. He ends up chuckling bitterly instead, to hide his confusion and to hide his anxiety. Jungkook was never fond of the word love.

“That’s not a very funny joke Tae. I don’t know what’s going on but-”

“So you think, this is a joke?”

It is Taehyung’s turn to laugh now as he takes a step away from Jungkook, throwing his hands up almost defensively now as he looks away, that’s when Jungkook knew he had ed up.

“You know what...just leave,” Taehyung waves him off exasperated and tired. 
 

“The piece is basically finished...that’s all I can do for you ok Kook? Just leave.. .please, ” Taehyung is almost begging now as he takes another step away from Jungkook, lips trembling as he stares straight at the ground beneath them.

Jungkook is impulsive when he tries to pull him back because he knows that if he doesn’t try to do something about this, things may never be the same between them again.

But maybe things have always been very different. Since when? Jungkook doesn’t quite know, but what he has come to realise is that while there were things that stayed unchanging, there were also things that have changed irrevocably between, without either of them even noticing.

“Look I’m-”

“Just leave Jungkook! Just...just leave this place, leave me. Please.” Taehyung yells, voice breaking and it breaks Jungkook’s own heart. He doesn’t quite understand why Taehyung is pushing him away with so much force. It hurts, in a frustrating way.

“Leave for a better place, I don’t know. Better opportunities, fall in love with a girl or some , get married and start a family- find happiness and live somewhere far away from me so it’ll hurt less,”

There must be tears forming in Taehyung’s eyes now because the slightest hit of the glimmering lights would make his eyes look glassy like the cold morning dew. Jungkook wanted to hold Taehyung and wipe them away.

“You’re being unreasonable Tae, I’m not going to get married I don’t understand why you’re talking like this-”

“Everytime I place the needle of ink onto your skin, every time my creations take life on your body- I was afraid Jungkook, I am afraid.Because I want you to be mine and only mine but you’re not. And it feels like I am tainting you the more I paint you in these permanent and taunting black ink. I fear I am robbing you off of so many opportunities in life- and when you would smile at me and tell me how much you love the tattoos on your body, my guilty conscious can’t help but eat me away- Your family hate me . They hate the fact you are with an outcast like me. They’ve never liked me and it makes me wonder if it’s really ok, for someone like you to be with someone like me-”

Taehyung is tripping and falling over his own words as he finally tells Jungkook everything that he has been hiding away from him. And although Jungkook doesn’t quite completely understand, one thing he does know is that everything