Joshua is right. The moment he unlocks his classroom on Monday morning, Jeonghan walks right in, seats himself on Joshua’s desk and asks, “Can I have Seungcheol’s number?”

He blinks. “What?”

“Can I have Seungcheol’s number,” Jeonghan repeats. “I didn’t get it on Saturday night, and I want to talk to him.”

“I, uh, don’t have Seungcheol’s number,” Joshua replies. “I can ask Jihoon for it, though.” He takes out his phone uneasily, passing his phone between his hands while he waits for Jeonghan to consider letting Jihoon know about this.

“Sure,” he finally nods.

Joshua’s still bewildered even as he types a text out to Jihoon asking for Seungcheol’s number. “Why do you want to talk to Seungcheol so badly?” He asks, although he’s almost certain he knows why.

Jeonghan doesn’t reply for a few moments, and Joshua watches in disbelief as his always-confident friend turns bashful and shy.

“Really?” Joshua asks quietly. “You like him that much?”

His best friend looks up and meets his gaze, and nods slowly.

The chime of his phone startles him, and he glances down to see Jihoon’s reply.

Jihoon: Seungcheol’s number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Tell Jeonghan that he better be serious if he wants something from him.

Apparently, Seungcheol had pestered Jihoon about Jeonghan all day as well. Jihoon’s ranting over the dinner table about how distracted Seungcheol was, not even taking the time to eat.

“I swear, if we weren’t ahead of schedule, I would make him stay overtime and record his lines again and again until he loses his voice,” he scowls.

“That seems counterproductive,” Joshua comments calmly, taking a bite of his food. He gestures for the other to eat.

“I don’t care,” Jihoon mutters, angrily picking up a spoonful of food. “He’ll have time to rest before he starts promoting.”

He can’t help but laugh softly. “It’s going to be weird. Your friend dating my friend.”

“If they get there,” the younger grumbles.

“Jeonghan seemed really serious,” Joshua tells him.

There are a few beats of silence before Jihoon sighs and sets his utensils down again. “Can you answer something honestly right now?”

Joshua blinks. “Uh, okay.” He has no idea where Jihoon’s going with this, but he feels really on edge all of a sudden. Jihoon looks very serious, sitting across from him, and it makes his back straighten instinctively.

“Will Jeonghan be serious about this? Seungcheol’s dedicated to his relationships, whether it be his friends, his family, or his partner. If Jeonghan can’t match that and take their relationship seriously, then I won’t even let him get anywhere with Seungcheol.” Jihoon’s eyes are blazing with protectiveness and his mouth is set in a firm line. Joshua’s never seen Jihoon look so scary, and even though they’re close friends (campfire-esque reaction aside) he’s never been more frightened by his husband.

Yet, under that, there’s a deep sense of admiration and respect growing in his chest (and something unidentifiable pooling in his belly) at Jihoon’s words. It’s heartwarming to see Jihoon be so protective over one of his best friends. He thinks it’s because he would do the same thing if he were in Jihoon’s shoes.

“Jeonghan will be serious about this,” he tells him. “He’s done a lot of casual flings before, but he’s never been desperate to get someone’s number just for a simple hookup. He’s serious about Seungcheol, and if he isn’t, then you can be mad at me.”

Jihoon frowns. “I don’t want to be mad at you.”

Joshua ignores the warm feeling that rushes through his body and just smiles at his husband. “Then let’s hope that Jeonghan doesn’t mess with Seungcheol.”

Turns out, Jihoon doesn’t need to worry.

Jeonghan turns into a lovesick sap almost immediately, texting Seungcheol during his free periods and having lunch with his new boyfriend. He spends less time with Joshua, which is disappointing, but he soon entertains himself with texting Jihoon about Jeonghan’s antics. Jihoon seems annoyed at Jeonghan’s willingness to abandon Joshua in favor of Seungcheol’s company, but Joshua can tell that he’s at least a little grateful for Jeonghan’s dedication to his best friend, even if said best friend has also fallen sickeningly in love.

It’s around this time that Joshua’s secret is finally revealed. He’s stopped making the effort to put his ring on and off daily, and surprisingly, it takes another two weeks for a student to notice.

He’s just finished proofreading Minghao’s essay when the student says, timidly, “Mr. Hong?”

“Yes, Minghao?” He hums, not really paying attention.

“Did you get married?”

Joshua blinks a few times, stare going vacant for a couple of long moments before he finally decides it’s not worth any explanation. He shrugs and replies, “I did.”

“Can, can I ask when?” Joshua wants to correct Minghao’s use of the word “can,” but he holds himself back (no one uses “may” anymore, really--not even him.)

“Uh... about two months ago,” he says. “I didn’t really want to announce it to the whole school back then, but I don’t mind anymore.”

“Okay,” Minghao smiles shyly. “Congratulations, Mr. Hong. I’m sure your wife is very lucky.”

Joshua coughs embarrassedly. “I, uh am as lucky to have my husband as he is to have me.” He smiles reassuringly at Minghao, who’s turning a bright red.

A few more days pass before anyone else notices, and it’s a student who calls “Mr. Hong?” while he’s writing on the board.

“Yes, Seokmin?”

“Are you married? You’re wearing a wedding band.” Everyone else breaks out into hushed whispers, giving Mr. Hong fervent glances.

Before he and Jihoon became friends, Joshua would have hated the attention. He didn’t want to exacerbate his already tense relationship with his husband. Now, though, he feels comfortable with telling his students. He still doesn’t need them in his private life, but little things like his relationship status wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes, I am,” Joshua smiles as the classroom absolutely bursts into sound as students yell congratulations and questions.

“When did you get married?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Who did you get married to?”

“Is it Mr. Yoon?”

Joshua laughs. “Calm down.” He waits patiently for the students to fall quiet before he continues, “I got married about two months ago, but I didn’t really want anyone to make a huge fuss at first, so that’s why I didn’t tell you. I did not get married to Mr. Yoon. He and I are friends, and nothing more.” He briefly considers telling them about Seungcheol, but decides against it because he’s a good friend who doesn’t talk about someone else’s private life to his students.

He gets several more questions the rest of the day, but they’re all innocuous and his students don’t ask any intrusive questions. A lot of them are happy for him, and he gets a lot of congratulations and well wishes. It puts him in a good mood for the rest of the day, which Jihoon immediately picks up on.

“Why are you so happy?” He asks, brow furrowed in confusion.

“I, uh, finally told my students I was married,” Joshua says shyly. “It was nice to get the weight off my chest.”

“You never told your students you got married?” Jihoon blinks in confusion.

“Not at first,” he smiles awkwardly, not quite meeting his husband’s eyes. “It felt weird to, when we were... awkward with each other.”

“Ah,” the younger nods in understanding.

“Also, I don’t always like to tell students about my private life. It feels a little intrusive sometimes, especially when they kept asking if I was dating Jeonghan,” Joshua shrugs.

Jihoon straightens in his seat. “Your students thought you and Jeonghan were dating?”

Suddenly, he feels like he’s made a mistake, though he’s not sure what. “Jeonghan likes to tease the students and imply there’s something going on between us, and some of them take it seriously. He doesn’t do it now,” he hurries to reassure his husband, “but he did it once before, and it got out of hand.”

For a few long moments he stares at Joshua, reading his expression. Finally he relaxes and nods. “Okay,” he says. “I get it.”

Joshua nods reassuringly, though he has no idea what Jihoon gets now. Does he get that Jeonghan’s still loyal to Seungcheol? Does he get why Jeonghan would tease the students in the first place? “Good.”

He doesn’t question anything until after dinner. He’s done all his work for the night, so he’s unwinding watching “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” while Jihoon cleans the dishes. Soon, he hears the dishwasher start, and the padding of Jihoon’s footsteps get louder before he senses Jihoon sit down next to him. Suddenly, Jihoon leans his head on Joshua’s shoulder. He almost flinches, but the warm campfire feeling comes back full force, and he almost melts into Jihoon.

The two of them watch TV like that, curled up next to each other and enjoying each other’s presence in relative silence. As the sun sets, he finds Jihoon getting closer and closer, their bodies angling towards each other naturally. Joshua can’t even tell who’s moving, but all of a sudden, Jihoon’s in Joshua’s arms, his own arms wrapped around Joshua’s waist. It’s not a tight or suffocating embrace; rather, it’s relaxed, comfortable. A natural progression of their relationship.

Joshua suddenly finds himself out of his daze. What is going on? How did this happen? When did this happen? Not just the cuddling thing, but the general affectionate thing. When had he realized that being around Jihoon was like sitting around a blazing campfire with his closest friends and family members on a cool summer night?

When had he realized he had feelings for his husband?

Nothing happens the rest of the night. When they finally decide they’ve had enough of TV, they separate and get ready for bed. They don’t get near enough to each other in the massive bed to touch, and Joshua wakes up with Jihoon’s back to him, curled up on the opposite end of the bed. It does nothing to help him sort out his feelings for Jihoon.

When Jeonghan finally decides to grace Joshua with his presence at lunch, he takes one look at his closest friend before sighing and saying, “Spill.”

Joshua blinks. He hadn’t even noticed when Jeonghan had entered the room, let alone gotten this close to him. “What?”

“You have an ‘I am having a crisis’ look on your face,” he replies casually, sitting on one of the desks. “What’s been going on since I ditched you for my boyfriend?”

He rolls his eyes. “At least you acknowledge that you’ve abandoned me for love,” he says. “And I’m fine.”

“Not convincing,” Jeonghan states. “Spill.”

Joshua could still try to deflect and make excuses not to talk about. He could even just leave the room and find somewhere to hide. It wouldn’t matter anyway: Jeonghan would hunt him down and drag the truth out of him, word by painstaking word.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I like Jihoon. Like, romantically.”

Jeonghan gives him a knowing look. “Did you just figure that out?”

For a brief moment, Joshua is completely thrown. What did he mean by that? Then he gives his best friend a scrutinizing look. “I’m not the one who took a few psychology classes, of course I just figured it out.”

“You’re also the best at denial and repression,” the biology teacher comments lightly. “So, you realized you like Jihoon, and you’re probably freaking out because you guys had an arranged marriage, so technically you were never in love to begin with so Jihoon shouldn’t even consider you as anything more than friends at this point.”

“Stop it with your psy--”

“This has nothing to do with my psychology history and everything to do with the fact that I know you, Joshua,” Jeonghan interrupts. “We’re best friends, even though I haven’t been acting like it recently--sorry, by the way, I’m working on it--and I know a lot more about you than you might think. I might even know parts of you that you don’t because you refuse to acknowledge them.”

“Okay, then what should I do?” Joshua says, frustrated.

“I’m assuming talking to him is not an option for you?” Jeonghan retorts sarcastically. “Communication is key in every relationship, Joshua, whether or not you start off on the right foot or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re friends or you’re dating. Communication is the answer to everything, no matter how much people hate it. You and Jihoon are friends, right? And don’t give me the whole ‘we’re friends because we have to’ bull,” he adds, holding up a hand to stop Joshua from opening his mouth.

Are they friends? Joshua thinks about the past two months, about how Jihoon smiles quickly in greeting whenever Joshua comes home, the jokes they share over dinner, the deep conversations he’s had with Jihoon, how he’s always been attentive to Joshua’s problems and willing to share his own. Even with the arranged marriage context, it still had all the qualities of a friendship. “Yeah,” Joshua relents. “We’re friends.”

“Then talk to him,” Jeonghan insists gently, leaning in to look Joshua better in the eyes. Joshua suddenly feels like he’s been trapped with the only way out being the one he hates the most. “I know it seems scary, but even if Jihoon doesn’t like you back, you’ll stop feeling guilty and burdened about your feelings for him. You need to be clear about your relationship with him in order to coexist peacefully for however long you stay married.” Jeonghan stops for a second, frowns and asks, “How long are you two going to stay married?”

Joshua freezes. “Um...we don’t know. We just kind of assumed it was... forever.”

The bio teacher gives Joshua a sympathetic smile, putting his hands on Joshua’s shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. “Even more reason to talk to him. Don’t be afraid of your friend, Joshua. Change is good, especially when doing nothing is becoming mentally unhealthy.”

“Okay,” Joshua agrees quietly. “I don’t have to do it right away, do I?”

Jeonghan shakes his head. “You don’t have to,” he replies. “Just don’t put it off indefinitely.”

Even if Joshua genuinely wanted to tell Jihoon, he doesn’t get the chance to for a long time. The younger had left a message for Joshua when he came home that night, stating that he had several major deadlines at his company and would be working overtime at their office for the foreseeable future. Over the next few days, Joshua doesn’t really get to talk to Jihoon at all. He doesn’t want to text Jihoon in case he becomes a distraction, but he never sees his husband in person at all. He goes to work after Joshua leaves the house, and comes back in the early morning, long after Joshua’s fallen asleep.

It’s startling how empty the normally warm condo feels when one of its occupants is barely there. He feels cold and lonely in a way that he’s never felt before, not when he’s by himself in his old apartment, not when he’s surrounded by women who adore him for all the wrong reasons, not even when Jeonghan leaves him to eat his lunch alone because he has someone and Joshua doesn’t. It’s so different, so alien and uncomfortable and it’s all too much. Joshua spends as much time as he can on the porch to avoid the suffocating absence that Jihoon leaves. He doesn’t know what to do to make it better. He doesn’t know what to do to make Jihoon feel better.

One night, Joshua’s startled awake by the sound of not-so-muffled cursing and the sound of something thumping into a wall. For a few moments, Joshua thinks it’s an intruder, but he hears a familiar grunt, and he relaxes. Jihoon’s home.

He checks his phone. 3:12 AM. It makes questions run through his head. What kind of hours is Jihoon working? Is he getting enough rest? Is he eating well? How stressed is he? Is there anything he can do to help?

Joshua probably should just go back to sleep, but he doesn’t, instead listening to the sound of Jihoon getting ready for bed. It’s kinda creepy, but hearing evidence that Jihoon’s in the apartment with him is oddly comforting. So he stays awake until Jihoon climbs into bed suddenly, startling him.

“, sorry,” Jihoon apologizes. “Did I wake you up?”

“Mm, no,” he lies, turning over. “Did you just get home?”

“Yeah,” the younger hums. “Go back to sleep, it’s late.”

Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, or maybe it was all his concerns about Jihoon, but he finds himself curling close to Jihoon and mumbling, “I’ve been so worried about you. Take care of yourself, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”

There’s a few moments of silence before Jihoon says, “I wasn’t aware I was worrying you. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay, just miss you.” Joshua’s pretty sure his brain to mouth filter is completely off, but he’s too tired to care.

He hears Jihoon chuckle tiredly. “I miss you too. As soon as I finish all my projects, I’ll take a day off and spend the entire day with you. Okay? I don’t know if you’ll remember this in the morning, but I promise you that I will, even if you forget.”

Joshua would have responded, if he didn’t feel Jihoon’s arm looping around his waist and pulling him closer, until they were cuddled together in the middle of the bed, legs intertwined and hands leaving warm imprints on each other’s bodies.

Joshua has the best sleep he’s ever had.

He wakes up to a comfortable warmth around him and the soft rise and fall of Jihoon’s chest under him. The way they’re curled together makes his heart expand several sizes and makes the campfire feeling come back ten times as strong. The fact that he got to wake up to Jihoon at all when before he always woke up to a cold bed is enough reason to be overjoyed.

Then he looks up, and realizes that Jihoon is awake, and looking down at him with a gentle and affectionate gaze in his eyes. He’s pretty sure his heart is pounding fast enough to beat out of his chest in a puff of exploding... feathers, or something crazy like that. “Good morning.”

“Mm, morning,” he says back groggily, not quite awake (and not really wanting to be.) “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Didn’t know how to move without waking you up,” Jihoon replies immediately (a little too fast, but Joshua’s willing to ignore it) while rubbing slow circles into Joshua’s shirt-covered back. “I figured I deserved a late start today, anyway.”

“You do,” Joshua agrees. “I wish I had that.”

Jihoon looks confused for a brief moment before he chuckles. “Oh, right, it’s a school day. I forget that your job has set work hours. I’m so used to holing myself in my studio 24/7, except for when I need to eat, sleep, or attend a company meeting.”

“Not anymore,” Joshua shakes his head.

“No, not as much anymore,” his husband agrees. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem.” He’s about to say more, but the sound of his alarm shatters the moment, startling both of them apart.

They stare at each other for a few moments before laughing. “I guess it’s time for you to wake up,” Jihoon teases.

He nods. “Well, if you’re not planning on leaving before me, at least let me make you breakfast.”

“You really don’t have to,” Jihoon protests. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” Joshua replies as he heads for the bathroom. “Let me just make sure you at least have breakfast, and then you can take care of yourself for the rest of the day.”

He doesn’t protest, and so Joshua makes both of them eggs and toast and they have a hurried yet pleasant breakfast at the table, the apartment feeling warm and welcoming again in that moment. Jihoon insists on washing the dishes while Joshua gets his things for work and hugs him goodbye.

“Thanks for breakfast,” Jihoon says when he steps back.

Feeling bold, Joshua replies cheekily, “You can thank me on your day off,” and walks out the door, closing it on Jihoon’s surprised face.

Jeonghan seems to be having a fantastic morning when Joshua visits him at lunch, singing a Korean song under his breath as he eats and scrolls through his phone.

“You’re in a good mood,” he greets, setting his lunch down on the teacher’s desk.

The bio teacher doesn’t even flinch at Joshua’s sudden appearance, simply grinning up at him. “Seungcheol and I ed last night.”

“Jesus Christ,” Joshua curses, turning to make sure the door was closed. “You’re just going to go out and say it like that at school?”

Jeonghan waves dismissively. “No one wants to be near the bio and chem labs during lunch. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Then maybe I should go,” he teases, turning to walk away.

“Teenagers are more likely to spill chemicals and play with dissected animals than one Joshua Hong,” Jeonghan answers lightly. “You seem to be in a good mood too. What’s up?”

“I was awake when Jihoon came back from work,” Joshua replies. “We cuddled all night and he promised to take a day off and spend it with me when all of his projects were done. I also woke up to him there and we had breakfast before I left for work.”

For a few moments, Jeonghan just blinks. Then a wide grin splits his face. “How rom-com of you.”

It instantly makes Joshua frown (well, technically pout, but he swears it’s a frown) at his friend. “Shut up. I haven’t seen him in a week, can you blame me?”

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan laughs, holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. “It is really cute, though. Do you need any more evidence that Jihoon might like you if he’s going to spend an entire day with just you?”

“I mean, he said it at night, when he probably thought I was asleep,” he says. “Maybe I cornered him into committing to it when I mentioned it this morning.”

“Honestly, I think that means more than if he said it to your face,” Jeonghan counters. “If he said it to your face, what’s to say he won’t back out or make excuses? In private, though, when he thinks you’re asleep... isn’t he just talking to himself? It seems more like he’s making a promise to himself to spend more time with you, which he wouldn’t do if he didn't think it was important.”

“Important as in I’m someone he really cares about and may have romantic feelings for, or important as in he doesn’t want a marriage with someone who hates him?” Joshua says.

Apparently it’s Jeonghan’s turn to frown. “You’re an idiot,” he says calmly, though he’s starting to look upset. “If he wanted a relationship like that with you, he would have said so from the beginning. Did he?” Joshua shakes his head. “Exactly. Why are you so afraid of telling him?”

“Because no one ever liked me enough to stay, remember?” Joshua reminds him, tone bitter. “I apparently didn’t meet the standard of any guy I liked. How can I not look at Jihoon and think the same thing won’t happen to me again?”

“Because he’s your husband,” Jeonghan retorts, his own eyes fierce and determined. “You didn’t see what I saw at the party.”

“And what did you see?” Joshua asks, bitter. “You were too busy talking to Seungcheol.”

“Jihoon adores you,” Jeonghan states. “He looks at you a lot when you’re not looking, you know? And every time he does, he looks at you like you put the damn moon in the sky and hid the sun just so that he can work longer. He doesn’t even look at Seungcheol or Soonyoung the same way, and they’ve been close friends for years, Joshua.”

“But...”

“And whenever I ask Seungcheol about it, he says the same thing,” Jeonghan continues. “Jihoon turns into butter whenever he brings your name up, and it’s clear as day that he has some strong, not-quite-platonic feelings for you. I know that so many guys didn’t see past your gentlemanly manners but you can’t compare yourself with them. You’re not always below someone’s standard. You either click, or you don’t. You shouldn’t be afraid to confess to Jihoon. More importantly, you shouldn’t be afraid of your feelings for Jihoon. If he has feelings for you, then that’s good. If he doesn’t, that’s still okay, you know where you stand and then you can figure out how to move on.” The bio teacher stops ranting and takes a few breaths, stepping out of Joshua’s personal space but still keeping an eye on him.

“I just...” Joshua can’t bring himself to look at his best friend. He feels dizzy and off-balance, but he continues, “It’s just hard to go into this thinking that anything good’s going to come out of this.”

“Well, that’s understandable, but let me put it this way. If you don’t tell him, you’re going to dwell on what-ifs for a good portion of your life and your feelings will start to feel like a burden when they really aren’t. If you do tell him, then you get those feelings off your chest. If he doesn’t have the same feelings, then you know where you stand and you can start trying to move on from him. If he does, then you get to start a relationship with him,” Jeonghan sighs. “I know it sounds simpler than it is, but I’ve been through it, Joshua, and it’s terrifying.”

“What was it like with Seungcheol?” Joshua asks. “You seemed to get together pretty quickly.”

“That’s because I’m better at hiding how much of a nervous wreck I actually am better than you,” Jeonghan grins at the offended sound Joshua lets out before turning serious again. “I really was, though. I knew eventually I’d like to settle down, but I didn’t think it’d be this soon. I freaked out the entire weekend, did you know that? Seungcheol’s life is so different to mine. He lives a rockstar lifestyle but wants stability and someone to come home to for the rest of his life. I live a normal lifestyle but I want casual things without serious repercussions. It shouldn’t add up, and yet there I was, at your Korean party, talking the entire night with someone who’s literally famous about my deepest hopes and dreams. It was terrifying how much I wanted something serious with him.”

“But you decided it didn’t matter,” Joshua finishes.

He shrugs. “Took the entire weekend, but yes, I decided that it didn’t matter. But what I’m trying to say is that talking about your feelings is never easy, no matter how confident you are, because in the end, you’re opening yourself up to someone. It’s vulnerable, it’s messy, and if it’s not the right person, then you can get seriously hurt in the process. But when you find someone who would rather protect your heart than hurt it, it’s entirely worth it. It’s why people open up and get hurt over and over again. Because when they find someone worth it, it makes all the pain go away. You need that, Joshua. Even if you and Jihoon don’t work out platonically--which is a serious stretch, in my opinion--I firmly believe you two are soulmates in some capacity. That’s how sure I am of Jihoon’s... interest in you.”

“God, you make it sound so creepy,” Joshua groans, burying his face in his hands.

“But does it make sense?”

He nods, still not looking at his best friend. “It does.” And he means it. He wants what Jeonghan has: not just a solid, healthy relationship, but open, honest communication with someone close to him. Honestly, he’s a little jealous that Jeonghan can form these deep connections when he barely talks to Wonwoo, who’s probably the least judgemental person he knows. And he knows that if Jihoon doesn’t like him back then it’s gonna and make the next few days--or weeks--awkward, but at least he’s not holding himself back from being himself and being happy.

“Good,” Jeonghan nods approvingly. “Now get your head off the desk. I haven’t exactly cleaned it since the dissections last period.”

The look Joshua sends the bio teacher is heated enough to make the entire school erupt into flames instantaneously.

The next few days are nerve wracking, to say the least. Jihoon’s still holed up in his company’s office finishing all his projects, but he answers that’s he’s fine whenever Joshua texts to check up on him, so he lets him be. It’s still lonely in the condo, but with the promise of a free day with Jihoon, it’s much more bearable. He starts doing little things to both keep himself busy and remotely take care of Jihoon, leaving little reminders for Jihoon to take care of himself and packing extra lunches for him. It’s not much, but when he sees the notes and lunches disappear from his fridge, he gets ridiculously happy.

Everyone knows it, too. His students share discrete, all-knowing looks (that aren’t discrete or all-knowing whatsoever) in his classes, and Jeonghan and Wonwoo both give him strange looks at lunch. No one comments on it with the exception of Jun, who makes a few suggestive comments before Wonwoo shoos him away with a few light hearted words.

This continues until one day, Jisoo comes home to a warm apartment and Jihoon curled up on the couch, passed out. He looks a lot worse than the last time he’s seen him: there are prominent shadows under his eyes and he looks skinnier and almost sickly. Still, he’s here, and he’s home early, so that must mean he’s done, and that’s enough for Joshua. He can handle helping Jihoon recover. He’s obviously not going to disturb his husband while he naps, so he drapes a blanket over him and settles at the dining table to get some work done while he waits for Jihoon to wake up. It’s hard, trying to focus when his husband is finally home and a few feet away, but he manages.

About an hour later, he hears Jihoon stirring on the couch. Looking up, he finds the younger sitting up, looking sleepily befuddled by the sudden appearance of the blanket. It’s enough to make him chuckle. “Morning,” he teases.

Jihoon starts, whirling around to stare at Joshua. “Oh,” he croaks. “Hello.”

“Hey,” he says softly. “Good nap?”

“Yeah,” the other nods. “I needed it.”

They both fall silent after that, but it’s not awkward or uncomfortable. It’s hesitant, waiting for someone to bridge the gap that had formed when they had been apart. Joshua had been excited for Jihoon to come home, but there was still so much they needed to talk about

Finally, Joshua coughs. “Did... did you finish everything you needed to?”

Jihoon nods. “I’m... I took a half day off today, and I took the whole weekend off.” He looks like he wants to say something else, but after a few moments, he just closes his mouth.

“I’m glad,” Joshua says. “You need time to rest.”

He gets a wry smile from the younger. “I look that bad, huh?”

“Absolutely awful,” Joshua grins before shaking his head at Jihoon’s mock glare. “No, you’re not that bad, but you look like you’ve been carrying the weight of the world the past two weeks. C’mon, go take a nice relaxing bath and I’ll make dinner. You can even use some of my bath salts if you want.”

“Wow,” Jihoon snorts. “You sure know how to make a man feel special.”

“Only for you,” he teases, heading into the kitchen.

As Joshua makes dinner, he thinks over what he wants to say to Jihoon. For how excited he was to see the younger again, he hasn’t put much thought into what he wants to say to him. Should he confess immediately, or wait for a right moment? How should he phrase it? Should he even do it today, or should he wait until tomorrow?

He almost wishes he could call Jeonghan and ask for advice, but he remembers Jeonghan saying he was going on one last date with Seungcheol before his album drops and he gets too busy to spend time with his boyfriend, and so he stops. He can do this himself. He’ll just let things happen naturally, and confess when it feels natural to, as long it happens this weekend.

Jihoon comes out of the shower looking even more well-rested and refreshed. “The bath was a good idea,” he says. “I feel so relaxed now.”

“Good,” Joshua says without looking. “Now do you see why I like using bath salts?”

He hums. “Yes, yes, I’ll stop nagging you about them.” Joshua hears him move closer until suddenly, he’s all too aware that Jihoon is at his side, peering into the pot’s stirring on the stove. “Kimchi jjigae?”

“Yeah,” Joshua breathes, because having Jihoon so nearby is not doing wonders for his composure, “We had some leftover kimchi in the fridge.”

“Smells great,” Jihoon sighs, leaning his head on Joshua’s shoulder.

“Hope it tastes as good as it smells, then,” Joshua replies. “I haven’t made kimchi jjigae in a while.”

“It’ll be better than if I made it, that’s for sure,” the younger retorts. “I ordered so much takeout these past two weeks.”

“I figured,” he says. “I bet you only moved to go to the bathroom or get your food. I’m almost surprised you haven’t gained any weight.”

Jihoon laughs into Joshua’s shoulders, the vibration running through his body like an electric bolt. “You know me so well,” he mutters.

“Yeah, well,” Joshua shrugs, accidentally jostling Jihoon’s head upwards. “, sorry.”

The younger just laughs and moves away to set the table while Joshua begins moving the pot to the table.

When he sits down, he finds a glass of water at his spot. He chuckles to himself. It was funny how much he had obsessed over something as simple as a drink when he first married Jihoon. Mountains out of molehills, indeed.

Thankfully, Joshua did not botch the kimchi jjigae, and Jihoon tells him so. It’s so nice to be able to have dinner with him again that he could have said that the jjigae was the worst thing in the world, and he would still smile.

“Hey,” Jihoon says quietly, making Joshua look up at him. “I never told you, but it really means a lot to me that you make me Korean food.”

Joshua frowned slightly in confusion, unsure of how to respond to that. He had only wanted to give Jihoon something he was familiar with, and hopefully find a common ground with him, considering how different their backgrounds were. It was really nothing to be that thankful about.

Not making eye contact, Jihoon continues, “I didn’t eat Korean food much after I moved here because it reminds me too much of family business dinners disguised as ‘loving family reunions.’ I lost most of my appetite for Korean food before I even got to the US, and I always hated that my family ruined one of the only pieces of my country I could have over here. When you said you were going to make hotteok for that party, I’ll admit that I panicked for a bit, but then I remembered that you were nothing like my family, and I really wanted to see if you could make me love it again.”

It’s a stupid question, but the words leave Joshua’s lips before he can stop them. “And did I?”

His husband nods. “It makes a huge difference who’s at the table with you. Even though I didn’t know Jeonghan or Wonwoo before that day, I coult tell they were good people, like Seungcheol and Soonyoung and you. Eating a dinner that tasted like home in a place that felt like home with people who are your home was... incredible. I’ve never had that until now. So... thank you. For making me excited to come home to you and rebuilding my tie to my homeland.”

Joshua almost wants to tear up. It amazed him how one little gesture meant the world to Jihoon. It really didn’t take much to make an impact on someone’s life, and while Jihoon crashing into his life (and vice versa) had been a huge impact, their smaller gestures held the most weight. It was beautiful and poetic and almost unrealistic, and yet it was their reality.

He holds back, though, in exchange for a light, “so what you’re saying is you’re excited to come home to whatever Korean food I’m making, and not me?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. Don’t make me say it out loud.”

“Alright,” he hums.

 

It was incredibly relieving to fall back into the same patterns they had before Jihoon holed himself up in his office. Joshua’s not really paying so much attention to what’s on the TV, instead listening to Jihoon clear the table and wash the dishes.

Soon enough, Jihoon plops down next to Joshua on the couch and lays his head on Joshua’s shoulder again. Joshua automatically throws his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder before he freezes, unsure of Jihoon’s response. Surprisingly, Jihoon curls even more into Joshua’s side, so he lets his arm relax and starts softly patting Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Don’t, you’ll make me fall asleep,” Jihoon almost whines, sleep already coloring his words. Joshua stops immediately and glances down to see if the younger is actually sleepy, and his heart stops at what he sees.

Jihoon looks like he’s fighting sleep, yes, but he also looks incredibly beautiful. He no longer looks like the standoffish, cold man who terrified Joshua in the beginning. He looks like the shy, caring man that Joshua felt so much for.

Now was the time.

“Jihoon-ah?” He calls in soft Korean.

“Yes, hyung?” Jihoon mumbles in Korean, fidgeting until he can look up at Joshua (for a moment, he thinks he sees Jihoon glance at his lips, but he’s so nervous it’s possible he made that up.)

“I have feelings for you.” He states plainly, skipping the whole “I like you... no, I like-like you” conversation. He’s waited too long to beat around the bush.

Jihoon, to his credit, doesn’t look disgusted or repulsed. He’s shocked, yes, but there was no adverse or extreme reaction, which makes him a little less anxious. Jihoon still might not like him back, but at least Joshua told him. So he lets the younger think in silence, not pushing for an answer.

Finally, Jihoon smiles, not the little smile he gives when he’s somewhat amused, or the wide one he has when he’s laughing so hard he seal claps, but a nice, medium-sized one that’s so heartwarming with how content it makes him look that Joshua thinks his heart might actually burst into absurdly colored feathers all over Jihoon. “Me too.” His face is kind of red, and he’s not making eye contact, but it’s such a Jihoon answer that Joshua just laughs and pulls the younger in closer, the younger settling easily in his arms.

“I’m glad,” Joshua smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of his husband’s head.

That night, Jihoon and Joshua lay in bed and just... talk. They’re curled so tightly together that it’s hard to pick out whose body part is whose, but Joshua can clearly tell that Jihoon is comfortable with both the skinship and the close proximity as they talk about everything they couldn’t before.

“It was kind of terrifying when I realized I liked you.” Jihoon admits quietly, picking gently at Joshua’s fingers like they’re guitar strings. “We had just found some balance in our lives and I was worried my feelings would screw everything up.”

“Yeah,” Joshua agrees, one hand rubbing soft circles in Jihoon’s back. “I was so sure that you wouldn’t feel the same way because... I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than friendship.”

“Why would you think that?” His husband doesn’t sound upset or offended, just curious.

“Well... we had an arranged marriage,” He begins slowly, not quite looking at Jihoon. “I thought I was lucky enough to be friends with you. Trying to start a real relationship with you seemed to be pushing it.”

Jihoon snorts, amused. “Trust you to overthink things like that.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Joshua replies, leaning in to press a soft kiss against Jihoon’s forehead.

The two fall in an easy silence for a few moments, just taking in the comfort of each other, before Jihoon says, “Joshua?”

“Hm?”

“I didn’t date much before I married you,” Jihoon says softly. “And even when they got serious, they were never like this.” He gestures between them. “I’ve never felt as safe as I do with you. I meant it when I said our friends are my home, but you... you’re more than that. You’re my safe place.”

“Your sanctuary,” Joshua adds.

Jihoon nods. “My sanctuary.”

It’s late that night when Joshua finally finds the courage to kiss Jihoon, but when he does, Jihoon’s ready for him. The kiss is sweet and chaste, but it feels more like a promise of protection more than anything.

In that moment, Joshua feels like they truly have become each other’s sanctuary.