Here's the truth that I should've told you: You saved my life. 

I was seven years-old when I first met Park Jimin. He was bright as the sun and I was distant as the moon. Maybe, that's why he came into my life. I was convinced that my mother sent this boy to me from heaven to warm up my heart that seemed to have gone cold and bitter after her death. My father, who literally threw himself into pile of work after my mother's death, was thrilled to see that I have finally made a friend. I never blamed him for being so busy all the time, that was just how he coped with her death. After all, she was the love of his life before she was my mother.  

Park Jimin and I were standing on the total opposite of the spectrum. He was everything good in the world: kind, gentle, harmonious, brilliant, and extremly soft. He was everything missing from me and I didn't know how much I needed those qualities until I met this pretty yet pierce boy who envloped me with warmth. My younger days that should've been filled with misery and sadness changed for the better when Park Jimin handed me half of his cupcake and sat next to me throughout elementary and high school years. He was my designated desk partner when nobody wanted to sit by the "creepy kid who's mom died". In a way, Park Jimin saved my life from turning into a total tragedy. He was the light at the end of a dark tunnel and the first breathe of air I take when I finally emerge from the ocean. Before I even had the chance to drown, Park Jimin had alreayd pulled me out. My life would've been one of thoes tragic and lonely story that ends with rope around my neck, but Park Jimin took my book and began to write his own magic into it. My stories that were filled with dragons and monsters now had kind prince and talking birds as their new buddies. Sometimes, his unconditional kindness and constant happiness felt like a burden to me. He was popluar amongst our peers and could've befriend better people if he just abandoned me. Unfortunately, he was the childhood best friend of the creepy and weird kid who's mom died which somehow turned him psycho. For the record, I didn't do anything and I had no idea that being quiet was one way ticket to becoming an outcast. 

Nobody at middle school ever got physically violent with me but high school was more rocky that I anticipated. On a rainy November night after my shift at the convinence store, five guys from my high school waited around the corner and that was the first time in my life that I realized how brutal people's hands could be. I ended up with a broken nose and robbed of every cent in my wallet. My dad didn't even notice my broken nose nor how I hadn't gone to school in the past seven days. Park Jimin had called me 72 times and left 120 text massages along with coming to my shabby apartment everyday after school and standing outside the door all day on weekends. My dad finally opened the door and let Jimin in despite my protest. Dad looked at me with pain in his eyes and put his hand gently around my shoulder. It has been 10 years since mom passed aways but the pain behind his eyes remained same as the day he heard that mom  has been hit by a drunken driver, killing her on site.

My nose still looked pretty bad and I refused to let Jimin see me like this. I didn't want to look weak, at least that's what I wanted to Jimin to think. I knew that the only reason that this violent act has been prolonged for so long because of Park Jimin. Nobody in their right mind wanted to get on Jimin's bad side. He was popluar, handsome, rich, captain of the soccer team, and the president of the junior class. I was the childhood best friend of Park Jimin. Everyone knew that and I was grateful yet ashamed of that title. To be honest, I was relieved when thoes boys beat the living hell out of me that night. This was my life. This should've been my life. Park Jimin saved me from it but I couldn't escape from my own life. He was a temporary fix for my doomed life. 

"Why didn't you answer my call?" Jimin's voice trembled ever so slightly. He was always confident but at this moment, his voice was full of sorrow and regret. 

"I'm fine. Thanks for coming over but you can go now." You saved my ing life, Park Jimin. Stop looking at me like you owe me your life when it's actually me that owe my entire life to you. Park Jimin, stop feeling guilty for my tragic life.

"I'll find out who did this to you and I'll make sure they'll never come back to school. I'll make them pay for..." His voice that held so much sadness a few seconds ago was now filling up with hatred and pure anger. 

"Stop..." I sigh under my breathe but of course Jimin couldn't hear me. 

"I'll make sure thoes bastards...." He was now yelling with tears filling up in his eyes and his shoulders trembling greatly. 

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to hold his hands and look him in his eyes and tell him that he saved my life. He was the only reason that my life hasn't toally gone sour. He was the reason I could still laugh at jokes and still go to school. He was my best friend and he gave me a childhood that would've gotten lost if I hadn't found him. If he hand't given me half his cupcake and sat next to me, who knows where I would be. Here's the truth that I should've told him: You saved my life. 

Instead, I yell at him. 

"I'm not your pity charity case, Park Jimin. I get that your life is so freaking perfect all the time and some heroic egotism inside you wants to help out a ing loser. But you don't have to do that anymore. You can stop pretending to be my friend and you can stop acting like I actually mean something to you. I already feel like a complete psycho without you making me feel more like an outcast than I already am. So, go. Get out of my house. Get out of my life. Please." Some sick and twisted part of me actually believes in everything that I just yelled out at Jimin. Maybe these words were collection of all my repressed feelings that I have stored up since the day I met Park Jimin. He saved my life. I owe him so much. I don't have enough to pay him back. I'll always be indebted to him. 

We stare at each other for what felt like hours until Park Jimin began to cry. And not one of thoes pretty cries either. He fell to the floor with his palms pressed firmly into his eyes. Tears came pouring out and I stood there not knowing what to do. In all these years we've called each other our best friends, we have never seen each other cry. We have never told each other our deepst secrets. We have never cried together. I have never told him how I felt about my mother and how I wish I knew my father better. He has never told me about his struggles nor his personal worries behind all his triumphs. We might as well be strangers who sat next to each other at school and occasionally had sleep overs consisting of Jimin cracking jokes and I laughing at them. 

"You saved my life, Min Yoongi." Jimin finally removed his palms from his eyes and stared at me with his red eyes. He rubbed his eyes couple of times untill he could see with clearer vision.  

"Min Yoongi, you saved my life. You showed me that it is okay to be miserable. It's okay not to be happy all the time. You showed me how to bounce back from tragedy. And most importantly, you were the only person that listened to me. You heard my voice and you shared my silence and laugther without asking why. You're not my charity case. I don't feel pity for you. If anything, I'm constantly worried that