1991 | s, sk 
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i saw the injustice, and yet i still turned my back to those that suffered. who am i?

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it was too hot.

the stage lights always seemed to burn his skin, no matter how much he moved around the stage. though they bathed his skin the most beautiful shades of dark violet, making him look more like that of a God with his perfect smooth skin that the hands in the audience reached out eagerly to touch, and the cocky smirk he wore after each line that he yelled into the the mic, the one that made the women and men up front push each other eagerly to claim that they were the one on the receiving end of it. the music, the screeching of the guitar and the loud thumping of the drums made him feel a bit deaf at times. it was too much, right behind him, right beside him - inside him, in the deepest pit of his heart. sometimes he thinks he might be having a heart attack on stage - his heart feels like it might hammer out of his chest at any moment, his hearing is shot out though he somehow manages to keep up with whatever song their on, and he's sweating buckets worth, his hair falling into his face in a damp mess as he runs and jumps back and forth from one end of the stage to the next like he's in the ing olympics.

in the midst of all of this, jeon jungkook felt great.

the vein in his throat is prominent as he shouts the last line of the song. it was also the last one of their show, a rebellion inspired song called "knock them back!".

ryuu had been the one to write it of course, citing his inspiration as his hate for the machina. of course, he wasn't allowed to say that in any band interviews, as he learned after being tackled by security and the other band members countless times for attempting to do so. it was no secret that ryuu had a deep hatred for the machina, but saying so in public was like asking for an execution. still, that didn't stop the rebellious drummer, and it was assumed by many that he hadn't been killed yet simply because he was a public figure.

a famous drummer expresses his hatred for government tech then goes missing a few days later. that had "silenced" written all over it, and it seems that even the government was trying to steer clear of being labeled murderers.

ryuu claimed that his song came to him in a dream in which the people of seoul finally fought back against the machina who regulate them, and at one point they managed to gain the upper hand against the machines, causing one of the citizens within the fight to yell, "knock them back!". ryuu immediately woke from his dream and woke jungkook up, dragged him to the studio at four in the morning, and by two that afternoon, they had made a hit. the song charted in the top 10 in over twenty countries.

they even won an award for it, in which jungkook told ryuu in their acceptance speech that maybe they should stop doing drugs so he wouldn't come up with such crazy anymore.

the entire audience laughed, as well as ryuu and jungkook, though they were unaware that the lead singer was very much serious.

"thank you for joining us tonight osaka!" jungkook shouts into the mic in what he's sure is very broken japanese. it was kind of funny in a way, all of his band members were japanese, and yet he still struggled with the language. but the people in the audience eat up the coy smirk that he wears, screaming loudly as he holds up his hands and shouts in sync with the rest of the band, "this has been go! run! fighting!"

jungkook bows, wincing when he feels all the blood rush to his head in the process. the stage lights burning his skin finally dim as the curtains are pulled closed in the same old show process. finally, he lifts his head just as his band mate, michi, their bassist, places a hand on his back with a small smile. michi was the oldest in the band at twenty eight, but was also the most friendly. his entire body was covered in tats and his dark hair and beady eyes made him seem intimidating, but jungkook thought the older man was the equivalent of a teddy bear.

ryuu, of course, was insane. his fiery red hair that was always spiky and wild and his tattoo of the joker on his neck was the perfect visual of who he was, some loud mouth who was always picking a fight. ryuu was aggression, and aggression was ryuu. the man was outspoken, he didn't like seeing any form of oppression, and he didn't hesitate in speaking up against it either. which is why he held such a deep rooted hatred for the machina and just how closely they controlled human life. ryuu thought it was wrong, and he made it known every single chance he got.

at twenty-one years old, michi was always scolding him for being immature and having outbursts like a child would. but jungkook just thought their drummer friend was more misunderstood than anything. after all, he always roomed with ryuu when they were on tour. he saw the man up late at night, writing poetry, watching documentaries on religions like hinduism and buddhism, and praying every night before bed for some peace for the world. and jungkook really wished that people could see all of it as well, but he figures that everything is the way it is for a reason. if he's still the only one who's seen that side of ryuu, then maybe it would always be that way.

sora was the second youngest, just a year older than jungkook at nineteen. their lead guitarist had bright, white hair with teal tips at the ends. though he was few of words, sora and jungkook were pretty close, especially considering how close they were in age. despite being quiet, sora was the most fun at night, jungkook discovered when ryuu kicked him out of the room one night to mediate in peace. jungkook had made his way to sora's hotel room, and after several sodas, candy, and enough hamburgers to make a normal person sick, the two spent the entire night dancing, singing, doing air guitar, and watching horror movies. and that's when jungkook discovered that there was much more to the quiet sora than what met the eye.

"good job out there, but you really need to work on your japanese because instead of saying 'free us! free us!' in the last verse, you said ' us! us!'." michi tells jungkook with a sympathetic smile, making the boy's eyes widen, while ryuu nearly falls over his drum set from just how hard he laughs.

"no wonder that woman in the front row took off her skirt and threw it at me." sora says, holding up a red leather skirt with an innocent look that makes even jungkook snicker.

"great show guys! great show! amazing really, i was just blown away-" their manager, arata, says, fanning himself dramatically with a small fan, "-literally, i was taken away by the magic you all created tonight."

"oh God, they let the crack head out early." ryuu mumbles, making michi elbow him scoldingly despite the amused grin on his lips. the red head motions to their managers hair then, "you were really blown away then, huh? your hair is two seconds away from falling from your scalp."

jungkook watches, while his band members snicker, as arata feels the top of his head, eyes widening slightly when he realizes that his toupee is in fact pushed back a bit. the older man pulls it forward before smiling widely.

arata, simply put, was a con man.

and he was also their manager.

the man was pretty short as all the members in the band towered over him, even the small sora. arata was balding, and couldn't accept the fact, so he kept a toupee or another fake hair piece of some sort on his head. as of lately, he seemed to favor a brown, circular styled piece that greatly reminded jungkook of a coconut. paired the the thin, black circular specs he wore, it made him look even more odd and jittery.

arata was all about money, and wasn't above any means of work to get it. he was the one who got on ryuu about his mouth the most. he complained a lot because ryuu speaking up against the machina in every interview meant less people wanting to interview the band as whole due to fear of the government, that meant less money for the band, which in turn meant less money for arata. and if there was one thing the man hated, it was to lose money. but despite his greedy nature, he had brung go! run! fighting! straight to the top.

jungkook remembered when they first started out, how desperate they were for attention, so desperate that he and sora had to dress as girls just to get it. and somehow, arata's crazy scheme worked. they became huge, only to grow even more popular even after it was clarified that it was two boys everyone was seeing up front. though he claimed to have hated those days, jungkook still wears the chokers that the fans had bought for his female counterpart "junghwa", and even sora still coats his eyes in the thick eyeliner that was custom of his feminine persona "soso". now, they were just jungkook and sora, but that doesn't stop ryuu from mimicking the soft, feminine voices the two boys had to use all the time to keep the persona up in the beginning.

"jungkook-" arata says with a proud smile as he reaches up to squeeze the boy's shoulder, "you did amazing. your japanese? improving by the day!"

"what kind of bull lie-" ryuu mumbles before he approaches arata, using his drum stick to push the man's toupee back with each word, "hey, don't lie to him! some of us have parents who watch our shows. they think i'm guitarist, not a star. so we don't need that kid up there yelling  to us, instead of come to us!"

jungkook grins, michi's loud laughter filling his ears as they watch ryuu finally push the man's toupee off completely, arata watching the brunet hairpiece falling to the floor with complete horror. ryuu shakes his head when their manager flails down the to the floor, picking up the hairpiece and smoothing it back out on their head. the red head drummer makes his way backstage, mumbling something about "balding crackheads" while michi follows behind him, snickering here and there. sora looks unfazed by the events, mind probably set on finding some candy backstage. and jungkook waits for arata to get his headpiece straight before following.

"jungkook, jungkook-" arata says suddenly, grabbing the singer's arm with a sly smile, "what i'm about to tell you next will make you smile for sure, you'll thank me too, maybe even buy me something nice for my efforts."

"what is it then?" jungkook asks with a curious smile, because though their manager was truly a grimy man, he felt somewhat fond of him. jungkook was the only one in the band who really put up with arata and his quirks. he watches as their manager hesitates, waiting for them to get to the dressing room. the two make their way down the dark hallways in the backstage then.

"alert, alert, human scan initiated." a robotic voice says, and when jungkook looks over, its to find that they're walking right past a machina.

this one is of a woman with short black hair, an all black attire, and a forced smile. jungkook always found it a bit terrifying just how human the machina looked. it unnerved him how the only thing separating them from him was the fact that they were empty inside, and that made them machines. artificial intelligence created by the government to regulate the human population. the machina "scanned" humans they encountered to make sure their emotions were in tact. if someone grew overly angry, overly sad, or felt something too intensely, the machina would notice, and then apply a "cure" accordingly. more often than not, it meant killing the person, especially the angry and hysterical ones. despite how overbearing they were, jungkook didn't hate the machina, more so, instead he feared them.

"emotional scan complete." the machina says, referring to jungkook and arata both, "emotions detected: happiness, content. course of action recommend: none."

arata lets out a sigh of relief, pulling jungkook along the hallway faster as he gives the machina and weary look.

finally, they reach the dressing room at the end of the hallway where the rest of the band are. sora is drinking two different sodas that he's poured fizzy candy into, michi is cringing at the sight, and ryuu is using his drum sticks on the table. jungkook himself has only just stepped inside when arata pulls him to a couch in the corner and forces him down before smiling rather creepily in his face.

"what is it arata-san?" jungkook asks with a small smile, knowing the honorific always made the man giddy.

"jungkook-" arata practically squeals then, bouncing happily on the sofa, "i found your mother!"

and that's when jeon jungkook freezes.

"hey, what the hell are you saying to the kid, you creepy bastard?" ryuu calls over to arata, frowning at the sight of jungkook's shocked face.

"i found her, i'm telling you. she was in seoul, at that very same metro she left you at. she recognized me as your manager! ha! and boy, trust me, does she look just like you, same soft voice and dark hair! it's definitely her. her name is jeon mira!" arata continues with a giddy smile, making his usual grand hand gestures, "and i want you to meet her. after the seoul concert, i've scheduled a meeting between you two ... which will also be televised nationally, on live tv, but that's okay. anyway, aren't you happy jungkook? isn't this what you've always wanted? oh, this will be great!"

but jungkook couldn't breathe. and it didn't help that his fingers were starting to shake. the teenager takes in a shaky breath, only for it to be cut off by a broken whimper. ragged breaths escape his lips then as he feels his heart just seem to collapse in his chest. he was going to meet his mother, the same woman who had abandoned him in a metal locker in seoul metro and hadn't looked back, the same woman he's been looking for, for the past seven years.

"dammit arata, you ing creep, what did you say to him?!" ryuu shouts, kicking their manager from the couch as michi and sora come to pat jungkook's back with worried looks.

"good news, good new!" arata exclaims, curling into a ball with a grin as ryuu kicks him repeatedly.

"he's having a panic attack." sora notes quietly as he rubs jungkook's back while the boy breathes hysterically.

"well calm him the down before that bot in the hall catches on-" ryuu says urgently just as a mechanical voice calls out -

"alert, alert, human scan necessity detected!" they can hear the machina from the hallway announce loudly, followed by the footsteps of its approach.

realizing the urgency of the situation, the band members spring into action then. sora frowns sympathetically before grabbing jungkook's arm gently and trying the piece of cloth ryuu hands him around the boy's lower arm tightly before squeezing it even tighter until jungkook's veins become prominent. and then it's michi who sighs before injecting the syringe from the table beside them into their lead singers arm. the band members all feel relief flood them then as jungkook groans, body going lax as the drug enters his system.

"update, human threat level ceased. no scan necessary." they hear from the machina in the hallway finally, followed by its now departing footsteps. all of the band members sigh in relief then, though the idea of shooting their lead singer up with heroin didn't really sit right with them. but in the end, they were all druggies. after all, it was one of the only few ways to keep their emotions in check and avoid the wrath of the machina.

"you stupid ing bastard, why do you always have to get him so worked up, huh?!" ryuu practically shouts at arata, who is still grinning on the floor. the read head drummer kicks their manager again angrily, only to be stopped by michi.

"cut it out before you make that bot come back." is all he has to say to make ryuu stop. but that doesn't stop the drummer from kicking their manager for a final time before storming out of the room. michi shakes his head, but allows him to leave.

"human threat level detected, human scan necessary-" they hear from the hall.

" off!"

"human threat determined as intense anger."

"i said off you metal piece of !"

"cure necessary, determined as sedation."

"hey, get the away from me!"

michi sighs at the sound of a body thumping to the floor from the hallway.

"i'll go get him." the older man says before leaving the room to collect their fallen bandmate.

"i need to call my sister." sora announces quietly, giving the drugged out jungkook a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and a small smile before making his way to the opposite side of the room to do that.

meanwhile, jungkook watches as the room around him starts to spin. and there were two soras, why was there two soras? and why was he purple and green? was he a monster?

"you're going to see your mother." a giddy voice says before arata's face comes into view, hair piece hanging from his head and a wide smile on his lips, "yes, yes, you're going to see your mother!"

he repeats the words like a mantra that float around the teenager's head until he grows dizzy.

and then finally, in the midst of his drugged out haze, jeon jungkook smiles.