The Beginning of The End

Small Bump

It was a regular working day, as a journalist I am prepared for all kinds of news: murders, attacks, the presidents talking nonsense on TV, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but nothing has ever shocked me as much as the moment Seungwan called me on the phone.

It wasn't somothing out of the ordinary, we couldn't stay away from each other for long, but since I started working we haven't talked that often. That morning I had received a loving message from her that made me smile where she told me how much she loved me (/*-*)/ and at the end she said "Let me know when you are free, we have so much to talk about".

It was then, in the afternoon of that day, when I wrote her that she could call me because i didn't have much work. It wasn't even five minutes after my cell phone rang.

"Wannie! I miss chuuu" I said using aegyo. She hates it, but when it comes to me,she's so soft about it

"Seulbear! I miss you too,you're always busy.. I thought you'd forgotten about me"

"Yah! You know that i never gonna forget about you.. You're so mean wannie!"

"Hahahaha. I was just kidding pabo!. Seulgi, I have something very important to tell you"

My heart began to beat quickly, as if I could guess what Seungwan would tell me next. The expectation that grew inside me during those seconds when she hesitated to tell me what was so important almost killed me.

"What's wrong wannie?"

"Seul, i'm pregnant"

Silence filled the line. I couldn't believe it. My heart beat quickly, happiness slowly growing inside me. I felt a pile of fireworks explode in my stomach as a smile poked out of my face.

"Wan.. that's.. AMAZING! OMG... Eric will be so happy about this!"

The happiness I felt only was comparable as if she was telling me that I was the father of that child.

You're just a small bump unborn
In four months you're brought to life
Might be left with his hair
But you'll have your mother's eyes

My mind filled with images of both of us taking care of that little boy, listening to his laughter, his crying, I even imagined taking him to school. The smile on my face grew more and more at the thought of it.

I'll hold your body in my hands 
I'll be as gentle as I can

One of the most beautiful images that crossed my mind was that of Seungwan with his bulging belly singing sweetly to the baby. I saw myself next to both of them, as if we were a family. Not even once that Eric guy crossed my mind, it was just Wan, the baby and me.

And I whisper quietly
I'll give you nothing but truth
If you're not inside me
I'll put my future in you

I thought of that child, he would surely laugh as Seungwan laughed as he took one of my fingers with his little hand. When he returned from school, he would walk into the kitchen where Seungwan would be preparing his favorite food, hug him and place his accomplishments with a magnet in the fridge.


You can wrap your fingers around my thumb 
And hold me tight

And you can lie with me
With your tiny feet when you're half asleep
But if you be right in front of me for a couple weeks
So I can keep you safe

And then I saw myself next to him, giving him all the love in the world. Taking him to parks, walking him around on my shoulders, buying him cotton candy at fairs under Seungwan's inquisitive gaze.

But this whole thing was just a fantasy. When you think too loudly, the fall is so painful and you are definitely not prepared for the pain it causes.

"I'm going to abort"

I was totally speechless. How did Seungwan even think of doing that? All the color on my face was drained, the world was paralyzed around me, a cold went through my body. It just couldn't be happening.

"Wan.. w...why?.. Are you b..being serious?"

I heard her sigh through the line. She wasn't well. I felt the urge to run out and look for her. She needed me.

"Seul.. I.. we.. we can't have the baby. We have no enough money to rise it and.. and.. Eric doesn't want it"

I knew it. I knew it. Obviously he was the one who wanted to do something like that. A hatred grew inside me, I hated Eric with all my heart. I felt like beating the crap out of him and sending him to the hospital. Who knows what she told Seungwan to make her come to that conclusion.

"I don't want to do it Seul. I want to keep the baby but... he's right, we barely have food to us to eat, how we can support a child?"

Impotence. That's what I felt when I heard her crying on the phone. My poor Seungwan, the most beautiful and pure angel that could have been created being forced to make such a horrible decision.

"Wannie, just.. forget about him. I .. can take care of the baby..we.. we can do it. I'll be his father"

I heard her chuckles through the line. She took a deep breath

"I know you would do that and it will be beautiful.... but.. you are in the same situation as us, there will be no good"

"I'll find another job who pays better! I'll do anything for you"

"I know that Seulbear.. That's why i'm calling you. Please, come with me to the hospital, I need you. I'm not ...strong enough"

I sighed as the tears threatened to fall. How was I supposed to do that? I heard her crying on the phone, and for the first time I didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better.

"Are you.. sure of this Wan?"

Silence.

The sound that can be hear was her breathing

"... Yes"

I sigh. So after all he wins, he always do.

" I'll support you Wannie. Whatever YOU want to do, i'll be there"

"Thank you Seulgi. Thank you"

"You know i love you right Wan?"

"Yes, i do. I love you  too Seulbear"

Since that day i couldn't sleep,i have no reason to smile. She's been the same, i know because everytime i call her i can feel her pain.

When the day comes, i meet them in the hospital. Seungwan had deep dark circles under her eyes, she looked totally destroyed mentally and psychologically. While he just didn't have any expression on his face, he just found himself standing next to her looking at his watch once in a while.

I went straight to hug her and show her my support, I knew she needed it. I greeted Eric with a dry 'hello' before we decided to come in. Once we checked in, we sat back and waited our turn.

Seungwan held my hand as I held it before Eric's annoying gaze. At this point I was waiting for a miracle, the waiting time passed too quickly for me and before I knew it we were entering the doctor's office.

It was totally white and cold, the doctor didn't even turn around and told Seungwan to take off her clothes and put on the hospital gown. Once she did it, she lay down on the stretcher and I immediately went to take her hand.

"Look at me Seungwan, concentrate on me," I said as I gathered our fronts together. My mind remembers nothing of what happened next, and I am partly grateful for it, the only thing on my mind is Seungwan's watery eyes as she squeezed my arm tighter and tighter.

I don't know if I cried during that moment, I don't remember what I did or said. Once we left, life stopped making sense, it became a black and white canvas where there was no room for color.

The next few days I spent it her house, taking care of her and wiping away her tears, trying to somehow ease her pain even though I knew that was impossible.

I heard her scream in agony at night and every day I would leave her house terrified that she would do something crazy while I was going to work. Eric never came back, I wouldn't let him, I didn't want him near Seungwan.

She blamed herself every day for what she had done, I blamed myself for not being able to do more for her. Other days we blamed Eric for convincing Seungwan to do it. But the stark truth is that we were all guilty of causing the death of that life that had just begun and was not to blame for anything.

'Cause you were just a small bump
unborn for four months then torn from life

Maybe you were needed up there
but we're still unaware as why.

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Hello everyone! This is my first story here on AFF and it was inspired in a true story and i decided let all my feelings out in this story.
English it's not my first language so if there's grammar error just let me know :)

Have a good day and thanks for reading!

 

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UnicornBronze92
Based on a true story... sadly

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Nevieforever0925
#1
Chapter 1: T-T my heart hurts.
chocolate_holic25 #2
Chapter 1: This ing hurts so much. Why just why
SayGreenTeddy
#3
Chapter 1: This is so sad, I'm really sorry Author-nim
garensuhanazono #4
Chapter 1: Omg.. this is so sad.. I mean.. *cries*