I felt the connection when I was twelve years old. It feels like it was yesterday even though it’s been five years. First, I was scared, like anyone else would be. I remember the exact feeling. My heart was beating so fast, my hands were sweaty and my throat dry as hell. I wanted to scream or cry but I couldn’t.

They were there just staring at me but there was no intention to harm me. They were looking at me with the loveliest eyes. There was a woman and a man, both looked same age as my parents. The woman’s hair was long and she had such soft features. She was smiling at me, and I remember I smiled back when I was feeling more comfortable with it. She said something I couldn’t understand but I think she called me by a name. Not my name, somebody else’s name.

The man was holding his tears, I could tell that by the way he was biting his lips. He was holding the woman’s hand so tight, it was like he was trying to be strong for her. When he heard that name, I could see one single tear rolling down his cheek.

And then, they disappeared.

That was my first contact with the spiritual world. Well, that’s how I call it. I can see ghosts. Sometimes I can feel them, but not see them. It’s hard to explain.

It started when I moved to Busan, to an old and very scary house, like in every cliché horror movie. That connection, with the couple, it happened at the first night. I couldn’t tell my family because I knew they would think I was making it up just because I didn’t want to move here, so I kept it to myself.

And I did the right thing not telling anyone, because it took me a while to see other ghosts again. I wanted to see that couple again, I wanted to know what they were trying to tell me, but I never saw them again. Actually, I never see the ghosts more than once. Some of them are nice to me, some of them pretend they’re not seeing me, some of them I pretend not to see.

I’ve never had a traumatic experience with them, which is good, it makes me feel comfortable having that gift.

The ghosts are my only friends. Sometimes I think they tell each other about me, because at some level, I always think they come to me because they already know I can see them. But maybe it’s just my head trying to make myself feel like I’m that special.

Sometimes I want to know if there are more people like me. It would be cool to talk about experiences like that but I’m too scared to tell anyone about it. I feel like they would think I’m a freak. They probably would. Actually, they already have enough reasons to think that without knowing I can see dead people.

Today is the first day of my last year of school. I’m sad that I have to handle a whole another year but I’m also glad that I’m never gonna have to do it again. I end up in a different class, with people I’ve never seen before, which is terrible. It’s not like I had friends with the other students but at least I wouldn’t have to deal with new people looking at me like I’m a ing weirdo.

I sat near the window, where I can distract myself by looking at the kids playing around at the park. I really like children because they’re nice to me most of the time. They don’t see me as a freak because they don’t care about rumors like these idiots from high school. They see me as a person, as a regular teenager with really dark baggy eyes and a funny hair color.

Kirin was there with Jimin, playing with their toys like they used to do. Kirin was a six years old, she came from Japan last year. I remember how she used to struggle with the language. It was pretty funny. Jimin was a seven years old, very cute but also very sassy. I remember the first time they talked to me, how they laughed at me because I was a boy and I had the same name as Jimin. They even asked me if I was actually a boy. I don’t know what they meant by that but whatever.

There was a strange boy near them. He was tall but he looked young. Probably my age or even younger. I’ve never seen him before. He’s not from my school or neighborhood.

He was looking at the girls with an adorable smile. He was wearing a white shirt with very tight jeans. Simple but pretty stylish. Oddly, he was barefoot but it’s ok since he was at the park. I wouldn’t take my shoes off to go to a park because only kids do that but guess he’s not like me.

I felt like he wanted to talk to Kirin and Jimin but he didn’t do it. Maybe he was too shy for that. The wind made his hair move a little I could see his eyes properly. He had such bright eyes. I could see happiness in his eyes.

And when I least expected, he looked at me. I froze for a moment but couldn’t take my eyes off him. His face was unexpressive for a while but then he smiled at me. I felt something, like when I see one of them.

I couldn’t look for much longer. I took my eyes off him and started to pretend I was writing something in my notebook. I wrote nothing, but also couldn’t look through the window again. I could see him too clearly, it was not like one of the ghosts.

I was too afraid. Too afraid to think that he could be an actual person looking at me.