His heart twisting painfully all of a sudden,he clutched his chest tight,trying to regain control over himself.

A muffled grunt somehow escapes his lips as his body swayed unsteadily and Geng's movement falters,his limbs seemingly wanting to turn to check on him for a whisper of a second;

before he snaps out of his reverie and runs out and away from him. 

All Heechul could do was slump to the floor watching Geng run away while his eyes glossed over with the tears and the pain he was so tired of holding back. 

At the sound of the door slamming against the solid wall where Geng just left through,

Kangin sprang into action, cradling Heechul in his arms, trying to comfort him as he best could.

'Hyung!' He cried out, not sure how anything that he said would be useful at this point.

He was ghastly afraid of how many panic attacks Heechul's body could actually handle .

His voice barely audible now, he breathes out his words so quietly that Kangin almost couldn't hear him .

'I just can't stand myself anymore,Kangin-ah.'

I need to make up for all the things that I've done, but everytime I have a plan to carry it through, it somehow falls apart before I even lift a finger. 

'What would it take for it to all stop? For me to be gone for good?'

When he hears nothing but silence instead of the reassurance he thought he'd receive from Kangin, 

a bitter chortle leaves his lips as he slowly uncoils himself from his grasp and stumbles along unsteadily,

swaying down along the hallway to where Geng had run through mere moments ago. 

His legs gave up on him soon after and he falls forward tiredly, somehow breaking his fall with his elbows and knees.

Everthing hurt like heck but he was past caring about himelf.

He had been stubborn, and pushed his thoughts and feelings to the far recesses of his mind,

and now everything had backed up over him like a bulldozer, crushing him beneath , ensuring that he would never be free. 

As he struggles to take a breath,

His vision falters as a everything seemed  to tunnel in on him for a moment too long.

A gentle presence, almost like the breeze on a warm summer's evening suddenly caressed his being and he wondered if he was dreaming when someone slowly pulled him up to his feet. 

The warmth of those arms leave him momentarily and he almost whines from the lost of that touch.

He  blinks once..twice, then gasps tearfully when arms circle his waist and Teukie's comforting pheremones surround him yet again.

'You idiot, what happened to you?' Leeteuk chokes out as he holds him at arms length,trying his best to not break down at the sight of him, so frazzled yet again, in such a short period of time. 

His face slowly turning beet red in embarrasment,

Heechul chooses to hide his face at the crook of Teukie's shoulder and tighten his grip around him instead.

'I'am so sorry Teuk-ah.'

'I really never meant to do or say all of those hurtful things.'

He pulls away and looks at his bare feet, not caring at the slightest that he wasn't wearing his footware at all. 

He rushes the words out, the sting of his shortcomings still too bitter a pill to swallow. 

'It's really been eating at me..but I've been too much of a coward to say anything all this time.'

Stunned at his confession,Leeteuk hesitates for a minute too long, wracking his brains for the right words to say and in those turbulent moments,

Heechul wished for nothing more then to run away, the icy feeling of fear flodding through his veins,

even though his body feels worn out ,numb and his legs protest at the thought of moving again.

Leeteuk suddenly cups his chin gently,making him look him in the eyes and his touch sends the butterflies in Heechul's ribcage fluttering around wildly. 

'Chul-ah,Let's get back to your room first. This isn't the right place'

He murmurs,while gently guiding him to the nurses station.

Before he could even protest,he was suddenly pushed to sit down on a wheelchair and wheeled back to his private room. 

Heechul stumbled out of the chair and plopped himself down on his bed, the prospect of finally unburdening and revealing

his true self to Teuk as scary as it might still be,

enough to boost his spirits and courage a little more then he would like to admit. 

Leeteuk quickly folded up the chair and returned it to the nurses at the counter before walking back to his room and closing the door quietly behind him. 

He pulls up a chair far from his bed and readjusts his posture and hands a few times, as if he the mere action could rid himself

of the internal conflict that's brewing within him yet again whenever it came to matters of Heechul.

The quiet fury conceled in the shadows upon his face, the deep divot between his brows,

his rapid but shallow breaths was more then an indication that he was not as calm as he seemed under his outward facade.

'Kim Heechul' He breathed out harshly, his earlier tenderness gone replaced by a sudden icy cold demeanor. 

'I really, want to get this straight. No more lies, no more indecisiveness' he spat out,like the words were poison on his tongue. 

Leeteuk inched closer to him and stared deeply into Heechul's cat like orbs and saw the same raw emotions reflected in them,

the very same things they both want to express, but were just too afraid to say.

Just seeing that same vulnerability reflected back at him breaks him,

his remaining anger evaporating like morning dew on a hot summer's day, the mask he had been wearing so carefully over the years shatters,

and the tears he had been holding back burst free ,his gut wrenching sobs echoing throught the room and his tears spilling freely down his cheeks,

dripping down past his chin,spattering on his trousers,pooling on the linoleum floors.

'I.. just ca..can't take another fracture on my heart.' he stuttered as he tried to speak more evenly,

even as his emotions washed over him like a tidal wave.

Eventually, he paused for a few more moments to catch his breath, as his hiccups gradually evened out and his sobs turned into gentle sniffles. 

'Do you realise how much more effort it has taken to paste on a smile every other day and pretend that it was alright?'

'When I had to be ever present and supportive to everyone ,even when I was too tired to care about anyone but myself?

He takes a shaky breath, looking at him with tears still lingering at the corners of his eyes.

I'd rather die then get hurt like this again.' he murmured as