I wish I can see more of Mir now that he is discharged from service. I want him to be active on platform where I can see him often but if he wanted differently, then I wish him the best. But I want to see a lot of him!!! I am so conflicted. I am so nervous of knowing which road he would choose in nearest future. Even being a BJ like GO would be great but what if he suddenly said he would want to quit all together and live a quiet life of a ordinary person- No!!!! I want to see him moreeeeee!!!! Get off of me negative thinking!!!!

*sigh*

I miss MBLAQ. I miss our crazy cutie maknae Bang Cheolyong T^T

Mir wobbled into the dorm. He almost crawled his way to the living room before heaving his body that felt thousand pounds heavier onto the couch in the living room. He saw it was already six in the morning and he should get a shower and get ready for the morning practice but his beaten up body was protesting against his mind.

          Mir inhaled deeply, his fingers clutching the back of the couch to support him as he pulled himself up in a sitting position. The light in the living room was suddenly switched on and he saw the other MBLAQ members one by one walking out of their room.

          "Good morning, Cheolyong." Cheondung who was the first to notice Mir had greeted the maknae with kind smile which Mir just nodded once in reply.

          It seemed that the other three were staring at him as if expecting something from him but Mir was too exhausted, too drained to figure out what they wanted from him.

          Seungho cocked a brow at the maknae. "Not even greeting us?"

          Oh. So that was why they were staring. But Mir didn't get a chance to greet them a good morning when the leader spoke again.

          "What a good manner you have there, haven't you?"

          "Good morning, hyungs." Mir greeted, just tired and monotone, like he care not if he greeted them the right way.

          "You know wha-" Seungho was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

          "Don't be too hard on him." GO said softly, knowing it was just Seungho's swinging mood again in the morning. Seungho could be very temperamental in the morning. And usually it was him who was able to remind Seungho to control himself but that was only to certain point and GO was wise enough not to cross the line with the leader despite the leader's lenient towards him.

          Seungho exhaled, calming himself as GO successfully called his rationality back to him. "Byungki hyung texted me. We're free for today since we can't use the practice room today, they are doing some maintenance there."

          Mir looked up and inertly grateful for that. He doubted he would be able to dance this morning after the whole night he spend at the practice room, dancing non-stop.

          "I'll use the bathroom first." Mir stated and dragged his wobbly feet towards the bathroom, nearly crashing against Joon who was standing there half-asleep.

          "Hey, watch out." Joon warned, yawning widely right after.

          Mir bowed slightly as silent apology and closed the bathroom door, but not before he heard Seungho inviting them to eat breakfast out today, them not him.

          Mir was once again, excluded.

          But Mir paid no heed, he used to be excluded in the group activities and continued his morning shower. He just wanted to crash on his bed after a refreshing shower.

          Once Mir was in the bathroom and the shower was on, Cheondung turned to GO, looking unsatisfied. "Aren't we inviting him as well?"

          GO shook his head. "He looks too tired. We'll bring something back for him later."

          "He should use this time to rest." Joon said, still yawning, surprising the others that he also realized how tired the maknae was. "Did that kid sleep on the couch again?" He mumbled, flopping on the couch, frowning for a bit to himself before shrugging. The couch didn't feel warm like he expected it to, which meant Mir didn't sleep on the couch but he was sure the maknae didn't come into their shared room last night because he would have noticed it, being the light-sleeper he was. But he shrugged it off, thinking maybe Mir just slept on the floor or somewhere else.

          None of them ever thought that Mir might not sleep at all.

          Seungho shrugged and went inside his room before coming out again with towel in his hand. "What?" He looked back to the other three when he realized the look they gave him.

          "He's still showering." GO stated.

          "So?"

          "You're not going to kick him out of the bathroom to use it yourself." GO stated dryly.

          Seungho burst out laughing at GO's accusation, he never felt bad when it came to his best friend maybe because GO was never really get serious in anything so he didn't think much of GO's remarks. "Yah! I'm not that mean. This is his towel. I noticed he just went in without taking this."

          GO watched as Seungho banged on the bathroom door and told Mir about his towel before the door opened slightly and a thin hand crept through the crack for the towel.

          GO tilted his head slightly. "Hey Dongie..." He nudged on Cheondung's arm and when he looked to his side to see Cheondung, he knew Cheondung had noticed the same thing as him. It seemed to be worsen since the last time GO saw Mir with only towel around his waist.

          Since when did Mir looked so skinny?

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"Hey, did you lost weight again?" Eunah put her hands on her hips as she stared down at Mir.

          Mir, thinking he was probably dreaming, simply his side, facing the wall and pulled the blanket over his head, trying to continue his walk around his dreamland. But it was proven futile when he felt the blanket being yanked off of him and his being slapped a few time.

          Groaning, Mir turned to lie on his back, eyes blinking a few times to adjust to the, gratefully-dimmed-light in the room. "What are you doing here?" Mir asked groggily, questioning his own consciousness seeing Eunah standing in the middle of his bedroom in the MBLAQ dorm in this time of the day. Wait- "What time is it?"

          "Ten."

          "At night?" Mir shot up from his bed, stumbling out and almost fall from the upper bunk which was his bed.

          Eunah gasped, quickly catching her little brother swaying figure and both ended up sprawled on the floor with Eunah on top of Mir as the maknae turned their weight in the last seconds of their fall so that his sister won't get hurt. Although in turn, it was him suffering from the worsen pain on his back.

          "Aigoo, you clutz." Eunah chuckled as Mir grunted under her and pulled up a bit to stare down at her cute little dongsaeng whom just seemed even cuter if possible when he was just woken up. "Look at those eyes..." She cooed, pinching Mir's cheeks and sighed. "You lost your chubby cheeks." She grumbled disapprovingly and sat up, pulling Mir with him by grabbing the boy's wife beater that used to fit perfectly on him yet now looking a bit loose. "It's ten in the morning by the way."

          Mir let out a breath of relief. "Why are you here so early?" He didn't even bother asking how his sister got in, knowing how his sister could get anything she wanted easily.

          "My shooting start late today. It's raining."

          At those sentences, Mir trailed his eyes to the window and saw the pitter pattering of the rain against the glass, and let the soothing effect climbed into his being. No wonder it was quite dark in the room.

          "Earth to Cheolyong." Eunah snapped her finger in front of Mir, snapping Mir from his session of spacing out. She stood up, offering a hand to Mir. "I made you breakfast."

          Mir stomach growled at the mention of the food and he trotted behind Eunah to the kitchen absentmindedly, sitting on the kitchen counter as Eunah took out a packed breakfast.

          Mir almost drooled at the smell of the kimbap and eggroll as well as sandwiches. "That looks good."

          "It tastes good." She wriggled her brows teasingly.

          Mir snorted. "Sure, sis."

          "Hey! I won't give you any then!" Eunah faked hurt and put the food out of Mir's reach which cause the little maknae to started whining and doing certain aegyo to his older sister. "Fine, for your cuteness."

          "Yeay!" Mir cheered, wasting no time to dig into the food, chewing blissfully.

          But it didn't last long. Just after five mouthful, Mir started feeling sick. It must have been because he had went on for a while without food and his stomach was rejecting it but he refused to let Eunah worried so he forced the food down.

          He just prayed he would be able to hold the food in until Eunah went back to her work and thankfully, he did. When they walked out of the kitchen, the front door opened and revealing the other four missing MBLAQ members who just got back from their breakfast and Mir noticed Seungho holding a bag of food but ignored it.

          Food are the last thing he wanted to see right now. Not when the exactly same thing was jabbing on his throat, wanting to come out in a bunch.

          Mir might have ushered Eunah a bit hastily out that the young woman wasn't able to greet Mir's bandmates properly, which was to his luck, Eunah, too, was rushing for her schedule.

          "Hey, Cheolyong, this-" Seungho has spoken once Mir shut the door when Eunah left while raising the bag of food in his hand when Mir waved him aside before he could finish and ran to the bathroom to hurl out all the food he had taken this morning.

          Seeing the offended look on Seungho's face, GO took the bag from Seungho. "It's okay. We'll just leave it in the kitchen. He'll eat it when he want." GO tried gently and he watched Seungho turned away while mumbling,

          "Whatever."

          GO shook his head with a little smile. What a rare sight to see their almighty leader pouting. Nice going, maknae.

          "I need to pee!" Joon's loud voice suddenly echoed and GO shook his head watching the dancer now hopping in front of the bathroom while banging on the bathroom door.

          He exchanged a look with Cheondung whom shrugged and followed GO to the kitchen.

          "Cheolyong. Out now! I need to pee!" Joon yelled again and huffed when the door clicked opened. He pushed the door opened and pushed Mir out, not realizing how pale Mir looked.

          He did what he needed to do and went back out, surprised to see Mir still there, sitting against the wall in front of the bathroom.

          "I need a shower." Mir mumbled, feeling uncomfortable to go back to sleep without showering after throwing up that much. He watched, waiting for the surprised Joon to step aside, then only he walked past Joon with his head lowered but almost stumbled before Joon caught him by waist.

          "Hey, careful."

          Mir pulled away hastily when he felt Joon's hands slipped over his ribs and saw the look Joon gave him.

          "You-"

          "Leave me alone." Mir whispered, a bit harsher than intended and slammed the door shut right in front of Joon's face.

          "Yah! No need to be rude!" Joon yelled.

          "Yah! Lee Changsun! Stop yelling!" Came GO's warn from the living room.

          Grumbling under his breath, Joon stomped to the living room, joining GO and Cheondung who was watching variety show which coincidentally showing MBLAQ as the guest. He watched quietly with a smile when he saw how silly he acted in front of the camera until the camera focused on the maknae instead.

          "Hey, guys. Was Mir always that thin?"

          Joon's question that came out of blue slightly taking GO and Cheondung off their guard.

          Exchanging a glance between them, they watched Joon watching the television with a serious look on his face. "I can feel his ribs." He revealed.

          "Hyojin told me, Cheolyong is dieting." GO recalled his conversation with Mir's friendly sister.

          "Oh. Okay then."

          Deep down, they knew it was not okay.