What Happens in NY, Stays in NY

February 1, 2018

JFK International Airport

I walked like a zombie in the airport, the 14 hour direct flight from Seoul clouding my mind. Hahaha… I slept all through out the flight that’s why but I’m still sleepyyy~…

“Soojung-ah…”

I turned to Hojoon oppa and saw him pointing his lips somewhere. We arrived in New York together with my team of make-up artist and stylist for an event that Rag & Bone will have tomorrow night. I followed where he is pointing his puckered lips, my tiredness and sleepiness instantly dissipating when my eyes caught sight of a wild Llama blending on the crowd. Tsss… this handsomely-pretty-stupid-person-who-makes-my-heart-drop.

She was wearing a hoodie under her thick black jacket, the hood covering her pretty head and her hands inside its pocket. Dark sunglasses covering her eyes that’s why I don’t know if she already saw me. A slight smirk forming on my lips examining her face. Her nose and jaw always stands out even when you see her from afar. Her jaw… her prominent jaw I love staring at. She really looks like Jjong oppa…

Oppa…

My heart suddenly clenched remembering oppa. Its still fresh inside us. All of us.

Everyone is hurting because he was a precious part of our life. Everyone including me and Amber, Luna and Vic unnie.

He was the brother I didn’t have. The protector I always depend on, an innocent and good-hearted Angel amongst a sea of hypocrites inside our company. The oppa who always gives me good advices even if I haven’t told him what is bothering my mind. Losing him was like losing a part of me, I see him as family not just a close friend. Most importantly, he accepted me for who I am and who I love without prejudice. I took it bad but I didn’t let anyone see it in me… but… I have another person to worry about.

Amber.

Amber took it bad. So much.

I was in the middle of filming for my drama when Hojoon oppa excused me from the PD and whispered to me the most devastating news I ever heard. My knees suddenly going weak when I heard what happened. The first person who entered my mind was Amber… on how she will take it.

She and oppa were like twins. Not just because they look alike (I find it creepy honestly) but also because they were alike in a lot of ways. Oppa was the big brother Amber look up to, she wanted to be like him in terms of talent and musicality. He wasn’t just a good singer, he was also a great song writer and producer. He used to show us his demos and let us listen to it to get opinions and as always all his songs are beautiful and heart warming.

You see, the morning that day, Amber was super duper excited when we woke up. She picked me up from my filming the night before and we had a quiet dinner in our favorite little restaurant somewhere in the city. She stayed overnight at our house because she showed me the unfinished draft of lyrics and song she was composing, asking for my “very honest” opinion and output. It was a great night full of laughter and banters, the smile on her face not going away because she was happy the digital single that she and Luna unnie did will be coming out soon. The best thing was she directed the MV and it makes me feel so proud knowing she is venturing out in that kind of activity again since she did Kyuhyun oppa’s MV a long time ago and “All Mine”. Singer, songwriter, producer, and now MV director.

Hojoon oppa told me he has been trying to contact the other managers to look out for Luna unnie who I know was doing a musical but I wasn’t sure if she has a show that day and Amber. Vic unnie has been informed too he said, no words was enough to describe the sadness she felt hearing her precious dongsaeng left the world in a tragic way.

He gave me my phone and instantly I saw at least 10 missed calls coming from Amber’s housemates, Kim and Esther. A couple of text messages from them too saying Amber locked herself up inside her room when she saw the news on Twitter. That she was crying non-stop. Even the Manager sent there to look over her can’t do anything to make her go out of her room or open it. Understanding the situation I am in, the filming staff and Director let me take the rest of the day off and Hojoon oppa immediately drove me to Amber’s apartment discreetly, meeting Kim by the door informing me of what happened. Her housemates knew when and where to call me when it concerns Amber because they knew I am the only one who can make her bend.

When I opened the door of her room, I was met with darkness. And its the darkness I don’t want her to have whenever she is alone in a room. I know her too much same as how much she knows me, that sometimes surprises us both.

I went to her bed and felt a lump on top it, she wrapped herself like a burrito in her blanket and her sobs can be heard inside. I wanted to be strong for her and for everyone but I’m only human, i’ve been crying too since we left the filming site and my eyes were already swollen. I called her name and she instantly rolled out of her blanket launching herself on me in an embrace.  

We held each other tightly that day, sharing the pain and devastation of losing a person so dear to our heart. Amber lost someone before, her best friend and now… the brother who loves and supports her unconditionally. We cried until no tears are left, words are not needed to express what we feel that day. That’s why when its time to visit his wake, both of us are already stone faced when press cameras showed us arriving in the hall with Luna unnie and our Managers. Luna unnie was crying since we picked her up from her place until we arrived and cried more when we are already inside.

We stayed there the whole day, I left for a while to film a part of my scene for the drama while Luna unnie for her musical. Amber said she’ll stay and talk with the SNSD unnies, I told her I will be back quickly and she answered me by planting a kiss on my forehead that I know shocked a lot of people inside that hall but we just didn’t mind.

It was the last night of the wake when Vic unnie arrived together with Zhoumi oppa. It was a sad reunion for us four, tears fell and tight hugs were given. Jinri was also there, she waited for Vic unnie to arrive so she can greet her. But that’s just it… I prefer not to talk about her.

We never thought that a reunion that our fans have been hoping to see turns out happened in a place and situation no one wants to experience.

I took a deep breath stopping myself to be emotional again and sighed slowly, easing my mind and letting go of the tragic memory last month. Remember Soojung… oppa said be happy and always smile. He will always be the aqua pearl moon shining your path in a dark night.

I kept it cool wearing my B&E dark sunglasses too but the smile on the side of my lips is slowly coming out. Yah Soojung! Control yourself!

If only I can drown myself on this red scarf around my neck I already did. Brrrr~! New York is so cold!

“Looks like someone has been waiting for a long time~…” Hojoon oppa mumbled in a teasing tone making the unnies giggle behind me. I rolled my eyes on his joke even though he won’t see it but knew I did. That’s how much Hojoon Oppa knows each and everyone of us five or four.

When she finally pull her hand out of her pocket and gave me a discreet wave holding her phone sideways, I almost burst in laughter seeing the message wrote in there. Tsss…

LLAMA AIRPORT CHAFFEUR SERVICE. WELCOME TO NEW YORK MY PRECIOUS GONGJUNIM, MANAGER OPPA, AND PRETTY UNNIES! :D

She let out a grin, showing her pearly whites that finally made me flash that smile I’ve been keeping, the smile that I unconsciously made back in Incheon Airport when I was facing the news reporters and fan sites before leaving. Hojoon oppa already showed the photos earlier while on flight. I look cute though kekeke…

What can I do!?

I’m excited! Flying to New York always excites me because its one of my favorite place on Earth.

And it excites me further because I will not just be attending the event and do a photoshoot for a Magazine.

I will also have a quality time with a Certain Someone. The most awaited quality time of the year! No distractions, no nosy Dispatch photographers lurking around in the dark, just me and the Certain Someone in a place no one can bother us.

I made my way to where she is standing when a guy and a girl approached me with a shy smile. They greeted me and asked for my autograph which I kindly gave them but Hojoon oppa told them no photos and they understood. They gave me gifts, chocolates!

“I hope you have a great time here in New York, Krystal!”

“Thank you~… although its going to be just for work..” I smiled and bowed at them saying my goodbyes.

“Have fun with Amber!” my eyes went wide but answered them with a small smile, the two of them looking around checking if any fans lurking heard them. Luckily, its just the two of them. My God!

I let Hojoon oppa handle them because he knows best what to do everytime there were sightings of me and Amber. Its not that we don’t want to be seen together, its just that it is so…complicated. She offered her arm for me because she knows I will link arms with her and of course I did, and together we joined the surge of people going out of the airport terminal holding and dragging the luggage I was holding a while ago.

This is one of the things I love when both of us are out of the country, we can be together with no eyes lingering on us, no people whispering “Is that f(x) Krystal and f(x) Amber?! Why are they together?” with voices so surprised laced with wonder. Like, hello?! We are in a group! Can’t we hang out like normal people and group members, friends?

I so wanted to rest my head on a pillow now… just having her close to me, the sleepiness came back again and the thoughts of cuddling in a warm bed under a thick blanket plays on my mind. Sigh. I have two sets of photoshoots to do, a fashion movie event at night and after that I can do what I want. I’m set to meet my friends too and a possible visit to Massachusetts again like last year to see our other friends before going back home.

Hojoon oppa magically appeared ahead of us clearing the way and the other unnie trailing behind us. After the luggages were arrange at the back of the van, we boarded it immediately and settled at the back seat. The unnies covering us by sitting on the seats in front and Hojoon oppa at the passenger seat.

“Why is it so cold~…” I whined at her in English and finally dropped my head on her shoulders. She wrapped her right arm around my body bringing me closer for warmth. I felt a lingering kiss on the crown of my head and it made me smile, because its one of those simple gestures of hers that I love.

“Its cold because its still considered Winter here…” she whispered in English so the unnies in front will not understand. Well… they do know English a bit but not that fluent so its safe. “How was the flight?”

“Ugh. I slept the whole flight… ate a little then slept. Oppa woke me up before the plane landed… look at my eyes…” I look up at her pouting that made her laugh a little, taking off my sunglasses with her other hand. She shook her head with a smile and gave me a quick peck on my lips that I hope no one saw because my cheeks are burning just now. “Nah… you still look pretty even if your eyes had too much sleep.”

“Really?…”

“Tssss…. when did I lie to you?!”

“Hmmm…. let me recall… I think that was 7 or 8 years ago…” I arched my brow playfully scrutinizing her face.

“Yah!” Amber’s scandalized outburst made the crew laugh and giggle. I reached for her face cupping it with my hands and kissed her cheek controlling my laugh because my God, she looks so cute when flustered. “Just kidding!~~”

“Hojoon oppa knows its just a prank!…” she pouted at me like a kid, remembering that one time years ago that she did a prank on me telling she can’t make it last minute when I asked her to accompany me to a schedule because she doesn’t feel well. I was so mad at her that time thinking why did she said yes when I asked her to and she doesn’t feel well. When I opened the door of the van, she was there smiling at me so wide. It earned her a punch on her stomach and nagging from me.

Those were the younger days… no care about anything….

We arrived at the hotel that the clothing company booked for me and my staff. Very stylish, 1 Hotel Central Park is situated in a good location where you can access everything. They know how to treat their endorsers right…

Two rooms were booked, one for me and one for the team. The suite was spacious, situated at a higher floor of the building that I can see the view of the skyline and well, other buildings.

And the shower stall is... WOW.    0_0

Even Amber was astonished same as I. 

"Damn..." she whistled that made both of us laughing and blushing profusely. 

Really damn. "Look Soojung-a, you can even watch me poop!"

"YAH!"

“Oh look, a cake for you Soojung-a…” she pointed at the cute cake on top of the table and a card coming from the company wishing me a good day and stay, not forgetting to remind me of the event. The hotel also provided a card and complimentary fruits and champagne to welcome me.

“Nice~… you want some Mangoes?” she nodded enthusiastically while taking off her jacket. I took off my scarf but kept my brown jacket, kicking my shoes out of my feet too in the process and wore the slippers Amber placed near my feet.

Finding a plate and steak knife inside the cabinet, we sat on the carpeted floor and used the long wooden stool as our table. This Llama… her eyes were twinkling looking at the Mango that I am cutting. I took out the flesh and started cutting it into bite size pieces, carefully not letting any juice of it accidentally touch her. Her allergy is too weird just like how allergic I am with Apples and other fruits. She can eat Mangoes but she can’t touch it, she has to wear gloves when peeling it so the juices won’t touch her skin or else it will be a redness and itch fest.

I remember when we were still young, I badly wanted to eat Mangoes but too lazy to peel it. I asked Amber to do it for me not knowing that she was allergic to it and she happily obliged. She didn’t tell me her hands were all itchy and red after, she hid it from me until Vic unnie saw it that she told us all about her allergy. I felt so guilty that time that I cried, Vic unnie scolded me too for being lazy. But Amber said its okay because she just wanted to help me and satisfy my cravings. That’s why starting that day, whenever we wanted to eat Mangoes I always took the initiative to prepare the fruit and just feed her. At least in this way I can serve her like how she serves me.

“Is it sweet?” I asked her after putting a piece of the fruit inside using a fork, careful not to touch her lips with its juice. She gave me a thumbs up and happy smile then copied what I did feeding me too. “Wow! Its good! More!”

We fed each other while resting our backs on the foot of the bed. She reached for my mouth wiping it with a table napkin. “Do you have any activity today?” I asked her.

“I just have to meet some people with Hojoon oppa about that “modeling” thing under Redken.” she sighed and smiled at me with uncertainty in her eyes. “Am I doing the right thing Soojung-a?…” this poor Llama… thinking again of a lot of things…

“Do you feel that its a right decision?”

“I think so… and besides, its a gig. Who am I to turn it down?…”

“You have every right to turn it down Am… you’re not a rookie idol anymore who has to pay her training debts to the company. You have your advantage now I’ve been telling you that…”

“I know Soojung-a…” she looked away and started picking on the fruit on the plate with the fork. I reached for her head fixing her hair while studying her face. She looks like she haven’t slept properly for days even though how much she hides it. “Hey, look at me.”

She is working so hard on that mixtape she has been planning to release in a few months time. Following the time frame she and her friends had set up. When she had that “time off” early last year, the idea came to her and she started making music writing songs with Gen.

That time last year that I so want to forget because she was away from me for too long. She flew to L.A. a few days before the launching of my photobook project. Even if I wanted her to be there at the launching, she can’t. The company was giving her a hard time and she was having a moment of her stubbornness too. She wanted to do music and release it but the company has some demands she seems not keen on agreeing at.