Pain, Regrets and Love

She was looking intently to those photo, it's been years yet here she is looking at the old photos that never in her mind she think of deleting and forgetting. Maybe this is how it works when a person have special spot in your heart. A small smile appear in her thin sweet lips, in her mind was the scene of how they always spent time together.Something that even after along years, she cannot still let go.

She was woken up in her trance of thought when hands find its way in her shoulder hugging her from the back in the neck. She immediately close what she was looking unto and offer a warm smile to the presence of the other girl. That girl, her girl.

"You are still awake." She greeted as she pull the girl to seat in her lap, and s her arms in the thin waist of the other. The girl cup her cheeks, and She see how sad those eyes are.She suddenly feel guilty. She was clueless as always.

"Is there any problem?" She asked with concern visible in her face and tone of voice. The girl in her lap chuckles a little. It's quite funny that they are dating for so long that she still don't know what those features mean. So lame of her.

"I think it should be me asking you that Yoona." The way the other girl say her name was far from the usual sweet tone she is using. Yoona knows something is wrong, but she keep hiding to that fact. And she is so ed up now.

"Nothing is wrong Sica ah." Yoona rested her head in the other girl's shoulder. She find he comfort on that shoulder. Quite ironic because sometimes she feel lost when she was with the older.

"You are looking at her picture again. What would you want me to feel?" The way the question rolled in the other girl's tongue was a little weak and powerless. Yoona raise her head and look at the eyes of her girlfriend. Yes she was her girlfriend, but why does it feel so distant? Why does she feel so lost? Why she don't even know what those eyes are trying to show?

"Taeyeon is my best friend." Yoona answers, she don't want Jessica thinking other things about that fact. Even herself she doubt that.

"And your ex." And it hits her. Yes, Taeyeon was her best friend, and they become lovers. The way things end between them wasn't quite good. Now Yoona doesn't know what she is missing. Is it the Taeyeon that her best friend or because she was her ex? And she was afraid of what might be the truth.

"Sooyeon-ah." It's been a while since she called her that way, in her real name and with softness and caring in her tone. Yoona suddenly feel ashamed of what she making her girlfriend feels. She see how teary Jessica's eyes are. She was guilty at charge for hurting Jessica Jung, for making her cry again.

"If you still love her why accept me? Are you only using me Im Yoona?" Yoona's eyes widen, sometimes she think that way. But hearing it from Jessica was painful, because it feels like she was being accused of something she never did. She was really loss. She immediately shook her head. Jessica pull away and she stand leaving Yoona on that sofa. The other girl watch how the door closed, she hate it. She hate it how she just let her go. How she just watch her leave that door. She hate how immature and clueless she was. She hate it. She makes her cry, again.

"Idiot!" Sunny, her other best friend during high school told her. The three of them are best of friends. Yoona was in dazed, but she was thinking of something, someone rather. She know how idiot she is for always hurting Jessica. It's not the first time tho.

"You have news about Taeyeon?" She asked, Sunny shook her head hearing the question. How can Yoona asked such question when she was in bad term with her girlfriend.

"Are you that idiot?! We are here to talk about fixing things with Jessica. Why are you asking news about your ex?!" Sunny was annoyed, she know how Yoona could get stubborn most of the time. She was like an older sister to her already.

"Taeyeon is my best friend too. Fixing things with Jessica means fixing things with Taeyeon too! I can't continue my relationship with Jessica like this. I can't hurt her more. I want to end things with Taeyeon in the good way. I want to clear my mind that the reason why I am longing of Taeyeon because she is my best friend, and not because she was ex. I know you understand please help me." She plead to the other girl. Sunny could only look to the other girl. She was still processing those statements. But at the end she makes decision for the good of the two.

"Fine."

Yoona was looking at the sleeping girl. A smile appears in her lips as she fix those strand of hair covering her beautiful face. She almos