Dedicated to Glimmer01 & a very happy bday to Junmyeon!

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A blur of lights was visible when Jinkyong jerked awake. The low rumble of the vehicle indicating that they had not yet arrived but as she rubbed her tired eyes, her vision became clearer and Jinkyong could make out the bright moon on the horizon through the haze of rain. It was a cool summers night and there weren't many other people on the bus.

Her heart felt heavy as she watched the road before her and could feel each crevice and bump of the tar ridden surface beneath her. Her mind was dense and she was anxious. All she could think about was how different everything felt from the normal. Instead of flashing lights and lanes full of cars, she was greeted by deserted streets and small houses with barely any lights. Instead of a car full of wild, drunk teenagers blasting vain music, she was in a formal car sent by her father. 

Pulling her jacket tighter around herself, Mina let out a shiver. Her body was numb with sleep and exhaustion and she couldn't find it in her to feel remorse or pain. What happened had happened and she couldn't change that. She could only move forward and get over it — well she could only move so much — Jinkyong let out a scoff. 

It seemed that life had finally come crashing down on her after anticipating it and Jinkyong couldn't say she hadn't been expecting things to turn out this way. Sighing and leaning against the window, she only wished it hadn't come so soon. 

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It was a Thursday night and Jinkyong was getting ready to head out again, slopping on minimal makeup and stuffing her purse with cash. She never carried her card out to the club; it was far too risky. After she deemed herself decent enough — dark eyeliner and full lips — she slipped into some heels and locked her apartment door behind her. 

She wore a simple outfit tonight. A glittery maroon shoulder cut crop top, collar bones on full display, complete with a jet black mini skirt that hugged her thighs just right. She had a loosely fitted leather jacket to go with it since it was a cold night. Her hair was done up in a small, neat bun with a two parted groups of hair to frame her face and she wore black boot heels that clicked along the marble tiles of the corridor.

As she trailed down the hallway, she was constantly texting, laughing every now and then at the stupid group chat. It was a typical Friday night for her. Hanging out with fake friends, and hot guys she knew were dying to get into her pants. However, that wasn't really her style; Jinkyong liked a bit of push and pull, she liked to have fun. And having fun wasn't someone throwing her onto a bed and stripping her of her clothes, just to wake up the next morning and find the latter gone. 

No. 

Jinkyong liked to drag them around for a bit. Sweet talk them on the first night, give them a few compliments to boost their ego and puff them up even more than they already were and maybe if she was interested, things could get physical. She wasn't romantic, didn't find fun in relationships that required commitment and effort. She was purely promiscuous and loved fleeting moments of getting high on alcohol, ecstasy, and the occasional drug. 

When her elevator reached the ground level, Jinkyong found herself feeling more and more excited for the night to come. It was Miyoung's twenty-first and Miyoung, much like herself, was loaded with bucks and they were sure to spend much of their time tonight being as reckless as they wished. And even though Miyoung had already had her first sip of alcohol, tonight she could do it legally. 

Jinkyong slid into a cab and she saw the driver eye her down through the rear view in her peripheral. She smirked and sat up, giving him a better view and she stared out the window aimlessly. Playing with men was a fun thing for Jinkyong, entertaining to watch them chase their tails () in the dust. Did they have nothing better to do? 

Sighing, Jinkyong checked her phone again. Everyone was spamming the group chat with fake wishes of a happy birthday and Jinkyong could only shake her head at that. Half of the girls on there talked crap behind each other's back and yet when they offered alcohol, money or a night out, they were all for it, plastic smiles and obnoxious greasing ready for action. It was disgusting, yet expected.

Jinkyong considered herself quite neutral within her friend group if you could call it that. It wasn't really a friend group. Everyone had at least something against each other and blackmailing, backstabbing and snitching was not uncommon. Jinkyong didn't consider anyone a friend anymore. Not that anyone was honored to become her friend or just someone for her to rely on. Jinkyong had gotten over that phase of soul mates, best friends for life and being tied down to someone through trust and broken promises. 

Building trust was an exhausting process that Jinkyong did not want to go through just to be disappointed. 

"We're here, Miss." The driver coughed out and Jinkyong met with his eyes in the mirror once again. It was only then that she noticed how the car had come to a stop. She gave him a small, smug smile and leaning over the seat, giving him a view of her low cut top on a horizontal angle, she handed him a fifty dollar bill and muttered close to his ear. 

"Keep the change." 

He flinched under her hot breath and Mina smirked at that, leaning back and giving him a small wink before hopping out of the car and onto the busy street awaiting her arrival. The wind bit at her exposed skin and she could tell many eyes were on her. Greedy, wanting, envious eyes and Jinkyong loved it. 

She walked into the hotel restaurant and she didn't need a waiter to show her to the tables, because she saw everyone around the bar and Miyoung the birthday girl right in the center of it all, holding a cup of wine. 

Jinkyogn grinned and joined them, grabbing a drink for herself as she popped into the seat beside Miyoung. The other wore a white t-shirt dress that showed off her toned legs and Jinkyong knew that every guy surrounding them were just waiting to woo her off her feet and have her in their room tonight. Pitiful men. The latter gave her a bared grin and a hug in greeting. "Glad you could make it Kyong-ah!"

She nodded in response, taking a sip of her glass. Placing it on the counter, she replied, "It's always a pleasure Miyoung. I do love free drinks."

Miyoung winked at her, nudging her with a shoulder. "Well, you're in for the night of your life Lee Jinkyong."

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When the car finally stopped, it was pouring outside and there was no carport to park under. Jinkyong groaned. This could not get any worse. She looked to her driver in the mirror desperately, "Hyuk, how am I going to get out?"

She saw that his eyebrows had come together into a deep crease, forming a valley of frowns, and he answered with a grunt of, "Let me figure this out, miss." The sound of hard, unforgiving downpour filled her ears as Hyuk opened the door and stepped outside, quick to close the door behind him. 

She watched as he ran with a hand above his head in defense of the water. And as she looked a little longer, she saw the small, shabby house she used to call home. There was no surrounding white picket fence and in its place, a pathetic rock wall that was falling away. Mina remembers when she used to pretend that the rock structure was the gate of a long-lost palace and that she was a princess from a faraway kingdom.

Since it's dark, and the moon doesn't provide much of a view, there isn't much else she can see except for the molding white brick of the actual house and the iron roof slats that make the rain sound even worse as the water comes into contact with it. 

She really is home.

She looked down at her fingers hopelessly. The feeling of nostalgia creeps through her veins and fills her with a sense of belonging and yet she feels like she shouldn't be here. She just wants to turn around and go back to the city, back to her apartment that overlooked the Han river bridge and welcomed in the busy traffic of downtown Seoul. 

But, she knows that there's no turning back now. Even if she did make the journey back to Seoul there was no way her father would take her back in. He was sick of her reckless behavior and had finally cut her off from pretty much everything. The only things she had left was her clothes that her father let her keep and the promise of a much-needed caregiver. 

After a few minutes, Hyuk finally makes an appearance with another body who can be no other than her own mother. In the shine of the headlights, Jinkyong can still see the beauty in her mother. Her small, petite figure, big bright eyes and a light tan on her skin she hasn't change that much from the last time she saw her which was well over 8 years. Of course, she has aged with time, but her hair is still rich in color and flows well below her shoulders. Her mother holds an umbrella and she looks like she is freezing in her pale creme nightgown. Hyuk stand beside her, having to crouch down to fit underneath the protection of the umbrella and they are both making their way to the side of the car. 

Jinkyong anticipates this and removes her seatbelt. Hyuk goes around to the back to grab her crutches as her mother follows him. When the moment comes that they finally open her door Jinkyong watches as her mother just stares at her with affection and longing and Jinkyong just wants to look away because all she can feel is remorse and guilt. 

Jinkyong tries to ignore this as Hyuk helps her clamber out of the car. The rain hits Jinkyong like a rock and Hyuk is all but too slow when he pulls out another umbrella and mutters his apologies under his breath. 

Jinkyong only curses and adjusts herself, then, ignoring everything else, she makes her way towards the house as fast as she can on her crutches. When they finally manage to make it inside with all of Jinkyong's things put away into the room — three suitcases stuffed to the brim — Hyuk is quick in saying his goodbyes, even though her mother tells him that he is more than welcome to stay and enjoy a cup of tea. Jinkyong silently curses her bodyguard/driver of almost five years for just leaving her like that. Whatever happened to loyalty?

Loyalty is where the money lies; without a prize, loyalty is nothing. That's what her father told her anyway. And it couldn't be further from the truth. Money could control lives and Jinkyong experienced it firsthand.

Jinkyong looks at her mother who is standing there awkwardly, twiddling with her fingers and she sighs. "Mother, you can sit down."

And sit down she does. Her mother practically smothers her, arms wrapped around her neck, head buried into her shoulder. One of her hands Jinkyong's hair as if it's brittle that will break at the tip of a feather. Through a small whisper, she says, "I missed you Kyong-ah." PUlling back and cupping her daughter's face, Jinkyong can see the tears b in her mother's eyes and she herself has to fight the urge to do the same. "Look at you, all grown up. I'm so glad you're back."

Jinkyong gives her mother a half-hearted smile, but in response, she asks wearily, "So...you're not disappointed in me? Don't you hate me? Even after what happened...?" she feels her voice being to fail her and it comes out rushed in shaky breaths,  "E—Even after I left you for dad, ran away from you. Even after I never called, a-after abandoning you, after everything I did, all the stupid—"

"Jinkyong." Her mother cuts her off in a soft voice and she takes one of Jinkyong's hands in hers. Massaging it, (her mother is a naturopath) she says in a soft voice. "I could never hate you, darling. You're my daughter and I love you." 

Jinkyong sat there, silent, unable to form words. felt dry and her heart was heavy with emotion. She didn't deserve her mother, she didn't deserve to be welcomed home like this and yet here she was, sitting in this living room as if she hadn't just got up and left. Her mother's words pierced her soul and she wanted to throw her arms around her mother and hug her and cry until there was nothing left. However, her mother was fast to break the silence and she stood, clapping her hands together.

"Alright, well, I should let you sleep. I imagine it's been a long day for you."

Jinkyong nods, sniffing a little and she wipes her face with the back of her sleeve. "Y-Yeah, that's a good idea." Together, they track the small hallway and her mother shows her to her room. Jinkyong lets out a sigh as she looks at what will be her room. The humble living space is almost the same as she left it. A small single sized bed situated in the corner and a bedside study desk with a small lamp illuminating the room. She notes that Hyuk has stacked her suitcases neatly on the opposite side of the room.

"I know it's not the same as you're used to, but I got a new duvet in for you and washed the sheets. I hope it's not too shabby for your liking." Her mother sounds almost nervous when she says it, so Jinkyong places a reassuring hand on her mother's forearm. 

"It's perfect, mother, it feels like home."

"Alright. Sleep well then." Her mother smiles and gives her a squeeze on the shoulder and a kiss goodnight before retiring to her bedroom. "Wake me up if you need anything." She says before closing the door to her room at the end of the hallway and Jinkyong nods. As her mother closes the door to her own room Jinkyougn moves over to the bed and sits down in relief, placing her crutches to the side and leaning them against the wall space in between the desk and the bed.

It's definitely a change but Jinkyong wasn't lying. It did feel like home. As she curled into herself, making sure to prop her damaged leg up on a pillow, Jinkyong wondered what life could have been like if she stayed with her mother instead of following her father to