It’s the first corporate meeting of the new year. You are sitting at a table with other executives and administrators of your corporation.“Here we have a graph of the corporation income through the last decade.”

You sit and watch as the executive uses his pointer to follow the height of each bar.

“As you can see, this graph represents last year and the previous year before that.”

You see that the two graphs have minimal changes between each other but you did notice that last year’s income did have a subtle decline.

“Due to last years low profits, there needs to be a reduction in labor cost.”

You raise your hand, the executive acknowledges you with his pointer, “Yes, Ms. l/n.”

“Mr. Lee when you suggest a reduction, what do you mean by that?”

The executive looks at you with disbelief, “A reduction, as in lay-offs, letting people go.”

He then turns his attention to the other administrators within the room continuing with his presentation. “I suggest we start with those too unfit to carry on in the industry. I mean who can argue with an early retirement.” Some of the other executives laugh, as if some peoples life were something to toy with.

You cut into their laughter, “Those employees that are still working are those that cannot afford an early retirement.”

They made a quick comeback, not even considering the worlds they were about to destroy, “You cannot afford to keep employees if you do not make any profit. We are barely breaking even.” This didn’t sit right with you, at all, and you quickly tried to come up with some kind of compromise that didn’t result in people losing their jobs, “What if we suggest a pay cut. I’m sure we can reason with the employees…”

The man at the head of the table raised his brow at your suggestion, “Are you willing to risk the company as a whole just to keep some ensure everyone has a job?”

The executive prevented you from saying anything more as he continued to speak.“If you continue to think this way, everyone will be jobless. Remember it’s not personal, but ‘Business is Business.’ As for now I believe this meeting is finished.”

————

You watch as the conference room begins to empty as everyone gets up to leave. You were very much aware of the whispers among the other administrators about your supposed carelessness. Before he leaves, Mr. Lee places a folder on the table in front of you, “Here is the list of employees that up for debate about their employment. You can look over them to make a final decision.”

You open the folder seeing that it contained a list of at least 50 employees in it along with their information. Some have been with the company since the beginning, Hwang Kinam; 15 years in the company, While others are gaining a fresh start, like Kwang Jihae; graduate from Seoul University. You continue to look through the list, some have families that needed to be supported, like Kim Minsun; caretaker of two grandchildren. There was not one person over the other that deserved to be let go. Each of them performed to the best of their ability. You couldn’t make a choice not here, not now.The atmosphere was suffocating within the meeting room and you were desperate to leave. You decide to work from home, not wanting to have a chance encounter with any of the individuals on the list. You collect your belongings and head for the elevator, the things in your arms seemed heavier than usual today. ‘A few more step,’ you catch yourself thinking reaching out for the button next to the silver doors.

“Oh thank goodness. You are still here.” A soft, kind voice reaches you. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was, and you realized today was not your lucky day.

“Oh! Mrs.Kim.” You say as you turn to greet the older lady, your heart aches as you remember that she is one of the employees up for debate.

“I went to your office and noticed that you were not there.” She lifts her hand up revealing a small box. “Here share this with that boyfriend of yours.” She placed the box in your hand.

You feel guilty accepting the gift but she insists. “Mrs.Kim this is lovely. I can’t accept this. Maybe you should share this with your grandchildren.”

She smiles at you, “Nonsense,  those kids are sweet enough. Please accept this as a thank you for giving this old lady a chance to provide you her services.” She bows and leaves, with purpose fueling her steps.

You feel your throat tighten as you bow deeply, “No, thank you for everything.” You attempt a small smile, “Have a good night Mrs. Kim.” You quickly step into the elevator not giving a chance to have your facade fall.

——

Once at home you began to make phone calls trying to reach out to partnered corporations. You sat at your desk which files and paperwork cover. You were keeping your mind busy, trying to multitask between typing on your laptop and making phone calls.

“Hello Director Park, I was calling about that project we had discussed earlier this month. Is there a possible way to set it in motion?”

You here the front door open and look up to see, your boyfriend of 3 years,taking off his shoes by the front door. He was wearing a comfortable outfit, he must be coming straight from practice. He looks up, eyes immediately looking to were you currently sat. His light brown eyes warm with affection, curl slightly upwards at the end, crinkling sightly as a smile spread across his face. He does a small wave, you smile, despite your current mood, he had this effect on you.

You sat and hoping it was convincing enough to make him not worry about your condition right now. The phone was still pressed to your ear as you received not completely reassuring news,“Okay you’ll consider. Thank you very much.” You hang up your phone, trying not to get discouraged yet.

As you hung up the phone, you felt a soft pressure on the top of your head. You turn to see Joshua, eye level with you as he crouched down to your level. He takes your busy hands away from their task, as he rubs them. “You feel a little cold,” he chuckles as he tries to warm up your hands. He looks toward the kitchen “Have you eaten yet, Y/n?”

It hits you then, you were too preoccupied with work that you forgot to make dinner. “Josh, I’m sorry.” You apologize, you hadn’t meant to forget to make the dinner. You didn’t want to burden Joshua, so you went to get up to make something really quickly.

He kissed your hands as he stood up, he held one hand up like the stop sign, “There’s no need to be. Hang tight.”

You gaze lingers as you watch the busy back of Joshua, currently digging through the cupboards for your dinner.

“Okay tonights menu consist of” Joshua creates his own drum roll as he sets down two package of ramen, one behind the other, as he says “We have Chicken flavor” You can hear the crackling of plastic as he shuffles the packages around. “And beef!”

“What does the chef recommend.” you play along.

Joshua’s eyes light up with amusement, and he puts his hand up to his chin, thinking, “I like beef in general.”

You laugh, “I’ll take the beef.”

“Coming right up! A bowl of beef ramen for the pretty lady.” The once quiet kitchen is now lively as you watch Joshua prepare the ramen.

You get up from where you are sitting and walked towards Joshua. You wrap your arms around his back, attempting to make him feel how grateful you were for having someone like him.

You rub his back affectionately, your version of a message, and say, “You must be tired.”

“Today was just a meeting discussing about our upcoming comeback and some vocal practice today. So it wasn’t too bad.” He chuckled, his shoulders rising and falling, “As soon as I walked through our front door and saw you working, I felt better. Besides it looks like you had a tough day. Anything happen at work?” He questioned as he turned to face you as he gets ready to listen, giving you all his attention as he always does.

“Oh you had a meeting today too. How was that?”

Your hands tighten on the front of his shirt and your breath is shaky. You averted you gaze away from his eyes, worried he would see the truth.

“It was okay.” You answer briefly, not giving any details.

Before any more questions could be asked, your phone rings and you sigh, “I should probably answer that.”

You pull away from his comforting embrace and the kitchen to answer your phone. Its one of your partnered corporations that seemed the most promising to help with your predicament. You don’t say much as you hang up the phone after thanking them for their consideration. You stand for a moment with the phone still pressed to your ear despite its silence, trying to process what was said. ‘Okay’ you think, ‘I can think of something else.’ You try to convince yourself that you can find another way. ‘Just because you couldn’t get any partnered companies to help doesn’t mean that you will still have to lay off some people…’ a tear escapes its confinement from your eyes.’right?’ You were close to breaking and you were struggling to keep yourself together. ‘Come on, _____.’ you stifle a sob, ‘You can do this.’ You say to yourself, hoping that saying these words to yourself would kickstart your brain into thinking of what to do next.

“Oh! You bought a cake?” Joshua questioned from the kitchen, reminding you of the world that was still going on around you. With the mention of the cake from Mrs.Kim, you felt the onset of a completely new break down. One for those you were too incompetent to help. You tried to stay quiet but you couldn’t calm yourself down.

Your attempts to try to keep yourself together failed as you felt yourself slowly become undone. The tears and sniffles were unable to be calmed as you felt a little sob come up. Quiet, was no longer an option as you felt a warm pair of arms wrap you in a comforting way pushin your head gently to their chest. Joshua placed his hand on your head and ran his hand down, trailing your hair. The slow pace he went at and the beats of his heart you could faintly hear both working to calm you down. “Im sorry,” were the only words you could get out at this moment. Joshua in that moment just embraces you, pulling you closer to his body and just holds you staying quiet as you cry.

After you were able to speak again, you tell him what has happened at your work. You also told him that you felt bad about breaking down in front of him.

He smiles as he says, “Trust me. Even if I am busy I am more than willing to listen to your happiness and joy.” He placed his hands on your cheeks, wiping your tears away. His hands pulling you to look at him. “But I also want you to share with me the concerns, stressors, and sadness you feel. The weight of your world is much easier if I am there beside you carrying some of the weight too, just as you do for me.”