She’s getting used to the worn leather pressed intimately against her palms, cracked in a few places that her father had yet to tend to that caught roughly at her skin. She slid her thumb along the sharp edge of one, not quite hard enough to break skin but just enough that there was a sharp, insistent reminder to stay awake.

 

  An older song is halfway through on the radio, the volume low because Nayeon is sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat and Mina knows the girl deserves some rest, just this once. She hums along softly, flexing her fingers against the steering wheel as she trains her eyes on the barren road ahead.

 

  She wonders how Nayeon managed to fall asleep, with the old engine of this jeep rumbling constantly under their feet and shaking the frame of the entire vehicle in some sort of insistent, creaky lullaby the entire time they’d been on the road. She remembers that Nayeon sleeps to sounds, youtube videos of the wind in the trees or lazy traffic trawling by on a busy city street at 5am, and she turns the radio down a little lower so the engine can be heard just a bit more.

 

  It’s hot; even in the early morning cruising down the highway with the windows cracked open, the previous days heat had done little to dissipate, and Mina knew the sun wasn't far off rising. Nayeon shivers in her sleep though, as if she was cold, and Mina winds up the window without a seconds thought.

 

  The road ahead is straight and empty of any other vehicles, so Mina risks taking a glance at the older girl, just for a moment.

 

  She’s serene; curled up tightly on the uncomfortable, leather seat that Mina had to wrestle with before she could get it to recline, head lolling back limply against the headrest. She looks beautiful, Mina thinks, even though the dried tear tracks down her face have yet to disappear, and Mina is just glad that the tight clench of her fists in her jacket had loosened.

 

  She wishes she had bought her camera, or that she’d had the time to prepare correctly for this, but all she has is her phone stashed securely in a pocket of her bag in the backseat, and Mina doesn't want to risk stopping the jeep and waking Nayeon up when the frame groans in relief.

 

  She commits the sight to memory, taking a thousand snapshots in her mind and almost turns her attention back to the road when Nayeon shivers again, chin trying to burrow further into the jacket that was falling slowly off of her body.

 

    Mina leans across the vehicle, deft fingers tugging the jacket gently up Nayeon’s form to just beneath her chin, trying not to startle when the girl subconsciously nuzzles into the fabric and brushes her fingers just so.

 

 

✿

 

 

  (“Run away with me.”

 

  Mina stares at the older girl, waiting for a sign that she was joking, that this was part of a stupid prank devised by her stupid friends, but all she sees is the desperation stretching across her features as her eyes bore holes into Mina’s face.”

 

  “I hate it here,” Nayeon sniffs, face inches from Mina’s, and from here Mina could see every emotion Nayeon felt before she even realised it. “They’re always watching me. Judging me. And I’m so ing sick of it Minari.”

 

  Her voice is unstable, wavering in pitch as tears are choking her words, and Mina has never heard Nayeon sound like this in her entire life.

 

  The older girl straightens up, movements frantic as she reaches up to wipe at wet eyes with a sleeve, and she forces a shaky smile on her face.

 

  “Forget it,” she laughs, and Mina doesn't like the sound one bit, “It’s stupid. This was stupid, forget I said anything.”

 

  She turns to walk away, head downcast, and Mina’s arm shoots out to stop her before she even realises. She wraps her fingers around the older girls wrist, bringing her to a halt with a strength she didn’t know she had, and the pure need on Nayeon’s face is enough to convince her that she’s making the right choice.

 

  “Okay.”

 

  Nayeon stares at her, a little incredulous and more than a little bit uncertain, eyes darting around unsurely.

 

  “Okay?”

 

  Mina nods.

 

  “Okay. I’ll run away with you.”)

 

 

✿

 

 

  Her fingers twitch, aching to stretch up and the smooth planes of her face. She settles on tugging the jacket in place once more, enough to secure it for a while at least, and moves her hand to clench tightly around the gear stick instead of where she actually wanted it.

 

  The song on the radio has changed; a song she thinks she remembers her mother listening to whenever she cleans the house, always bringing an unexplainable smile to her face even as she whirls a mop around dramatically. Her finger taps along to the familiar rhythm, drumming a steady beat against the gear stick, and she thinks the weight of everything is beginning to set in.

 

  She’d left home.

 

   They’d left home.

 

  Her mother. Her father. Her dog Ray who had been faithfully by her side since she could remember, even if age meant he had to walk along a little slower now. They’d all be waiting for a girl who wasn't coming home to walk through the door every day, and every day they’d fall asleep with disappointment settling heavy in their bellies and fading confusement clouding their dreams.

 

  She curses under her breath; she knows she should have written more on that letter she left on the kitchen side, but she was hurried and frantic, barely pausing to scrawl legible words on the paper before she darted out the door, bag swinging wildly from her shoulder with every lengthy stride. She hadn't wanted to keep Nayeon waiting, knowing that the older girl was sitting anxiously in the front seat of her father’s old jeep that he had bestowed to Mina in some sort of grand gesture on her eighteenth birthday.

 

  He’d wanted her to gain some freedom, he had said with a twinkle in his eyes and an easy grin on his face, and Mina still remembered the smell of the oil on his clothes as he tugged her into a tight embrace.

 

  He probably wasn't expecting this to be Mina’s first reach for independence, and Mina could only send a silent wish to the encroaching horizon that her parents were at least somewhat soothed by the contents of her letter. She wouldn’t be gone for too long.

 

   (She hopes.)

 

  She wasn't naturally an impulsive person. Not at all. Her friends would for her cautiousness; her reluctant hesitation to go into anything with at least a semblance of a plan to guide her actions. They’d make fun of her inability to go on any fairground ride that goes faster than her running pace, or anything that goes higher than a few feet off of the ground.

 

  She was smart, practical. Approached every issue in life rationally and with tact, and she was always the person her friends would go to for pragmatic advice.

 

  And here she was. On the highway to God knows where at 5am with a runaway girl in the passenger seat and a few spare clothes jammed messily in her bag.

 

  Sana would be so proud of her when she found out.

 

  Momo on the other hand, less so, but the older girl couldn't exactly stop her now.

 

  She could look after herself.

 

  And maybe Nayeon too.

 

  The song has almost ended, the last few measures of instrumental and the same, cheesy repetition of the hook echoing over and over again, fading softly until the next track comes on.

 

  It’s old, and sweet. A little saccharine for whatever Mina’s feeling right now, so she goes to switch the station but a slender hand grabs her own before she could.

 

  “No,” Nayeon murmurs, drowsy with sleep and words slightly slurred, her tongue still heavy in .

 

  “I like this song.”

 

  Nayeon’s hand is warm, blanketing her own and she’d never really noticed until this point just how small her own hands were in comparison. Mina nods in compliance, before realising the older girl still has her eyes closed and can’t see the action.

 

  “Okay.” She says simply, before dragging her hand back to the clutch and letting the classic love song play over the engine’s rumble.

 

  She half expected Nayeon’s hand to pull away, to slip back under the cosy confines of her jacket, but it remains, warm and heavy on top of her own as she grasps the gear stick. It stays there long after the song has finished, weighted with sleep and flexing reflexively whenever Mina shifted to change gears.

 

  It’s there when the sun begins to rise, blinding rays shining unforgivably in Mina’s eyes, and she fumbles frantically to bring the sun visor down with the hand that should have been steering the jeep down the road.

 

  (She daren’t take her hand away from under Nayeon’s. She’s not even sure it’s her own hand anymore, stamped and claimed by Nayeon’s sleep induced clinginess.)

 

  The jeep only wavers a little, and a small bubble of laughter slips out when Nayeon mumbles discontentedly at the abrupt motion.

 

 

✿

 

 

(“Where do you want me to take you?”

 

  Nayeon stumbles in her stride, surprised at how easily Mina was accepting the burden she’d upon her.

 

  “I-I have a friend.” Nayeon says quietly, and Mina raises an eyebrow.

 

  “You have many friends, Nabongs.”

 

  Nayeon laughs, short and sharp and that uncomfortable feeling comes back into Mina’s stomach like someone shoved a fist in her gut.

 

  “No I don’t,” the older girl chuckles mirthlessly. The sound is tired, and resigned, and not for the first time Mina wishes that she and the older girl had been in the same age group.

 

 “Those people that hang around me aren’t my friends.”

 

  “Then why do you? Hang around them?”

 

  Nayeon shrugs, arms wrapping tightly around herself.

 

  “Appearance. I’m expected to, and you know above anything my family value appearances.”

 

  Mina nods. She did know that, and she hated it. Nayeon was more than a pretty little doll for her father to parade at his events, and yet that’s all her parents ever saw her as.

 

  “But I have a friend. An actual friend who lives on the East coast. She says I can stay with her for a bit.”

 

  “What about after?”

 

  Nayeon shrugs again, and Mina has half a mind to hold the girl down in place, tell her that this was stupid, and unfounded, and that this whole thing was dangerous.

 

  But Mina saw the absolute relief in the older girls’ eyes when she agreed to drive her to anywhere but here, and the wistful yearning displayed brazenly on her face as she runs a hand over the bonnet of the old jeep in her garage. Her hand rests on the smooth metal, tensing slightly as she gets lost in thoughts Mina wouldn't dare think of interrupting right now.

 

  It was all of those things and more, but Mina suddenly felt a protective urge swell in her chest and thought that maybe she could protect Nayeon.

 

  She slides the keys across the bonnet, the sharp scratch of metal against metal jolting Nayeon out of her reverie as her hand fumbles reactively to catch them before they fall off the other side.

 

  “Jump in, I just need to grab a few things.”

 

  Nayeon’s knuckles are white as she clenches the keys in her grasp, and Mina can practically see the realisation that this was real breaking through the haze of misery that clouded the girl since she’d messaged her at 1am asking to meet up. Freedom was right at her fingertips, and Mina masks the nerves bubbling precariously in the pit of her stomach with a small smile when Nayeon slides into the passenger seat with an excited breath and the creak of the door.

 

  She reminds herself to pack a bag for Nayeon too.)

 

 

✿

 

 

  She’s going to have to pull over soon, she thinks when the jeep sways a little too far to the right when her eyes close a tiny bit longer than she intended. Nayeon’s hand is still heavy on hers, the cosy warmth doing little to aid her fight to stay awake, and she crawls along the highway to try and find somewhere suitable to rest up for a few hours.

 

  There’s a small turning, a hidden side road that she would have missed if she wasn’t looking, and she flicks the indicator up to turn off even though there’s no one behind her.

 

  The sun has breached the hill to the east by now, peering lazily over the crest as if to ask Mina why she hadn't gone to sleep yet, and Mina answers it with a stifled yawn and drowsy blinks. She stops a few hundred yards to the track, the noise of the engine cutting out with a few, choked out sputters and the sudden lack of noise is eerie. The radio is still playing lowly, she thinks it might be a Celine Dion song now, and she absently makes a note to remember that in desperate times some of her dad’s old CD’s are tucked somewhere in the boot. 

 

  There are some blankets in the backseat, she remembers. She could drag them into the open boot, make herself a cosy sort of makeshift bed with her bag and the blankets, and she unbuckles her seat belt to climb in the back.

 

  The jeep groans defiantly, an aching complaint at her movements and she failed to notice that Nayeon’s soft snores had stopped at the first creak.

 

  She tries to slip her hand out from under Nayeon’s, so sure that by now the girl was deep in her sleep cycle, but as soon as she tries the hand on top of her grips hesitantly.

 

  “Stay.” Nayeon mumbles, and Mina knows if she were fully conscious she’d never be so openly clingy and pleading. The older girl shifts, curling on her side against the back of her seat to face Mina, as close as possible without leaning directly over the centre console.

 

  Nayeon’s thumb is swiping slow, repetitive on the top of her own, and Mina swallows any chance of refusal she had.

 

  She forgoes an answer, reaching down the side of her chair with her other hand instead for the lever to recline. The chair complies with a loud creak, groaning in exasperation as she leans further back, and Mina tries to ignore the soft smile that settles on Nayeon’s face at the familiar sound.

 

  She tries, she really does.

 

  She’s not sure what to do with the hand that Nayeon’s holding onto loosely, not sure how she’s going to sleep with it dangling so awkwardly in the space between the two seats.

 

  Nayeon solves the problem by tugging their intertwined hands towards her, tucking it carefully somewhere between her neck and her cheek. Her face is warm with sleep and the mid summer heat, and Mina marvels at how soft Nayeon’s skin felt when she nuzzled instinctively against them.

 

  Mina remembers how to breathe when Nayeon stills in her chair once more. Slivers of sunlight peek curiously through the trees, bathing both girls in a dappled array of golden rays, and Mina falls asleep with warmth on her skin and something just as warm spreading through her chest.

 

 

✿

 

 

  “I can’t believe you let me fall asleep in the sunlight like that.”

 

  Mina tries to hide the laugh from escaping, but Nayeon has been complaining about this since they woke up and, well, she looks a bit ridiculous.

 

  There’s a glowing strip of red stretching from her ear to her jaw, and Nayeon is sat in her seat scowling petulantly at the road ahead with her arms crossed grumpily.

 

  “You didn’t really give me much of a choice.” Mina replies, too focused on the road to see the narrowed eyed glare Nayeon shot her way.

 

  “What do you mean?” She questions suspiciously, and Mina’s throat is a little drier than she likes. She reaches for the open bottle in the side of the car door, gulping big, greedy gulps.

 

  “I was going to climb into the backseat,” Mina says teasingly, wiping with the back of her hand, “but you quite literally wouldn't let me.”

 

  She makes a show of clenching and unclenching her hand, wincing dramatically as she did so.

 

  “I still don’t think I’ve gotten all the feeling back yet.” She jokes, and she knows that the accompany strip of red on Nayeon’s other cheek had nothing to do with sunburn.

 

  “Whatever.” The older girl mumbles under her breath, reaching forward to turn the radio up a notch to avoid conversation.

 

  Mina laughs, loud and unrestrained, reaching forwards to turn the volume dial back a couple of clicks.

 

  “It was cute.” She says off-handedly, and she learns that even the tips of Nayeon’s ears flush when she’s embarrassed.

 

  She mumbles again, this time quiet enough that Mina doesn't quite catch it even with the lowered music, and she exhales heavily.

 

  “Do you know if there’s a gas station soon? I desperately need to freshen up.”

 

  “There should be one in a few miles,” the younger girl recalls from the past road signs, rummaging in the side of her car door. She finds what she’s looking for, offers the packet to Nayeon.

 

  “Mint?” She smiles sweetly, and Nayeon takes the packet gratefully.

 

  She seats back in her seat, both hands resting languidly on the wheel as she listens to the rustle of the mint wrapper and the dulcet tones of some overrated country singer for the third time this journey, trying not to jolt in surprise when long fingers press something against her lips.

 

  They part instinctively, and she relishes the refreshing taste of mint on her tongue as Nayeon pulls away.

 

  “I could have done that myself.” Mina teases, and Nayeon keeps her eyes focused on the road.

 

  “You need to keep both hands on the wheel.”

 

  Mina smirks, lazily at the sweet.

 

  “Of course.” She acquiets with a laugh, slowly and deliberately. The quip on the edge of her tongue about how Nayeon didn’t have such qualms early this morning is surprisingly difficult to swallow. Maybe she liked the way the older girl blushes at her teasing.

 

  They’re quiet for a while, listening to Mina drive and Nayeon fiddles with the volume control on the old radio. She turns it up, but then it’s much too loud and her face scrunches with displeasure. Turns it down again, but then she can barely hear the scratchy voice of the old man warbling along to the slow, jaunty banjo.

 

  Mina side eyes the girl in thinly veiled amusement but says nothing, much preferring to sneak glances at the frown that’s permanently etched itself into Nayeon’s face as she huffs and begins to get impatient with the old system.

 

  Ultimately she gives up. The song is barely audible over the rumbling engine but Mina knows she is far too prideful to give it any more attention than she already has, slumping back in her seat and looking out the window as if she isn't irked. She’s always worn impatience so well, clinging to her like a second skin and looking far too attractive to bode well for Mina’s mental state.

 

  Mina reaches absently forwards, eyes on the road as she turns the small knob just a fraction to the right and puts her hand back on the gear stick.

 

  She can see the way Nayeon’s body stiffens in the corner of her eye when the song begins to play at an agreeable volume. The older girl shifts in her seat to look at Mina incredulously, glancing between the girl and the radio as though she had performed an act of black magic instead of just simply turning a dial up. Mina hears another exasperated huff, watching as Nayeon turns even more firmly towards the open window with her face in her hand and a frustrated pout hidden beneath her fingers.

 

  The grin on her face grows impossibly wider when the song ends and the radio begins to play the familiar, tinny instrumental to the same yodeling country track for the fifth time in the past hour, Nayeon’s exasperated whine managing to drown out the sound completely.

 

 

✿

 

 

  They stay a little longer at the gas station than intended.

 

  Sweet talking the store attendant into letting them use the restroom proved a lot easier than they thought. Nayeon had gone inside to pay for the gas and buy snacks while Mina filled up the jeep, and even from outside Mina could see the profound effect Nayeon had on the poor guy. Or lucky guy, she supposes, dopey expression stuck on his face long after the other girl had disappeared through the restroom door, face resting in his hand as he stared out the window dreamily.

 

  She couldn't judge the kid. Working in a place like this and a pretty girl walks into the building and starts talking to him with honey dripping off her lips and big brown eyes giving him all the attention he could dream of.

 

  Yeah, she’d definitely be thinking of this for at least a couple of months if she was him. Maybe even message her friends about it on break.

 

  The smell of the gasoline is starting to itch at . She fishes her phone out of the back pocket of her shorts, sends Nayeon a quick snapchat of her looking impatient with the the gas pump in her hand. Her eyes flick back to the slowly rising numbers of the gas toll, she figures the tank should be fairly full by now. Her phone buzzes in her hand and she swipes to open the device, nearly dropping it as soon as the picture comes into view.

 

  It’s Nayeon, she expected that much. And she’s pretty - she obviously expected that too.

 

  She didn’t quite expect the older girl to be pulling such an alluring expression though; the perfect combination of big, full eyes looking up expectantly at the camera, a teasing lilt tugging up the corner of her lips and her thumb placed delicately between them in the centre, pressing down enough to reveal the inside of her lower lip.

 

  She spends far too long tracking each and every detail to memory before she notices the caption. ‘Give me a minute’ the older girl says, and Mina thinks she needs far more than a minute to respond to this.

 

  Now, there are a number of ways she could respond to this.

 

  She could:

 

Take the humourous approach. It’s fun, risk free, and probably totally expected. Send back a picture filled with friendly, familiar snark and endure the inevitable retaliation. Take the bait. Give the older girl a little taste of her own medicine, pull one of those expressions Sana taught to her all those years ago when the other girl decided (by herself) to ‘take Mina under her wings’ and teach her everything she knew. Which was a lot. Maybe sit in the front seat of her jeep, angle the camera downwards and pop open an extra button on her shirt just to give a little peek. Or she could just not respond. That was also safe, and there’d be no risk of her sticking her neck out and potentially reading the situation wrongly and making this trip a lot more awkward for the both of them.

 

  Her eyes flit to large, lustrous eyes one last time before she defaults to the latter, pressing the lock screen button and pocketing the device with far more trouble than she should have. Her hands are clammy as she fumbles with her back pocket of her shorts, and she lets out a string of curses when she looks up at the gas reading  and sees she’s put in way more than she intended. She looks back at the store and sees Nayeon’s at the counter paying for the gas, the store attendant fully awake and grinning at her with a full, toothy smile on display.

 

  Mina tears her eyes away as Nayeon laughs at something he says, clambering into the front seat of the jeep and pulling the door closed behind her with a loud creak of the hinges as it slams into the frame. Her fingers flex around the leather of the steering wheel, knuckles stretching taut against her skin as she breathes slow, laboured breaths.

 

     She’s breathing much easier when the passenger door creaks open a few moments later, Nayeon climbing leisurely into the seat with a few bags clutched tightly in her hands. Mina doesn't say anything, shooting the older girl a quick, friendly smile which she returns in kind. She follows it up with a quizzical look, eyes raking up and down Mina’s slightly tensed form a few times with mild concern.

 

  “Not gonna freshen up?”

 

  Mina thinks of the overly enthusiastic teenage boy standing behind the counter, running a sweaty hand through her hair with what she hoped was a convincing grin. She shakes her head, turning the key in the ignition and immediately relaxing at the familiar snarls and sputters of the engine coming to life.

 

   Nayeon’s silent as Mina pulls out onto the almost empty highway, gunning it down the barren stretch of road with an arm stuck out the window. The wind forces back her arm just so, and Mina grins at the strain as she feels the air whistling through her open fingers. She’s too focused on the feeling of the wind against her skin and the sun on her face to notice Nayeon’s careful, attentive gaze watching her with something a little resigned on her face.

 

 

✿

 

 

  “Pull over Mina.”

 

  Mina glances at the older girl in surprise. The last few hours have been mostly silent; save for the other girl snorting in laughter as she scrolled through her phone and the occasional huff of displeasure at the radio station’s choice of song. Nayeon’s looking at her expectantly though, so Mina forgoes questioning and indicates to pull over.

 

  The jeep rumbles to a halt a couple of hundred yards down a side road, engine slowly ticking over as it hums contentedly. Mina turns to the older girl expectantly, eyebrow raised as she waits for an explanation. She in a sharp breath when Nayeon unbuckles her belt, sliding across the space between their two seats to lean across the younger girl. She smells sweet, bare inches between both bodies and Mina’s hands are locked firmly into place on the steering wheel in what might be the most debilitating gay panic she’s experienced yet.

 

  Nayeon’s gone sooner than she’d like, pulling back to her seat and it takes Mina more than a few moments to realise that the older girl had turned the engine off.

 

  The silence is deafening. Mina’s not sure what she’s done; whether she’s done something to offend the older girl, or if there’s a problem she hasn't noticed. Maybe Nayeon’s about to turn to her and ask them to turn this whole thing around, to take them both back home and forget this little teen fantasy ever happened.

 

  “You need to sleep.”

 

  Or not.

 

  Mina laughs through the sigh of relief.

 

  “I’m fine.”

 

  She sees Nayeon’s eyes narrow dangerously, even in the dimming light of the sunset.

 

  “No, you’re not. You've been trying to cover up your yawns for the past 20 miles and I swear you actually fell asleep for a few seconds a few miles back until that 18-wheeler drove by.”

 

  Mina waves her hand dismissively.

 

  “It’s not that bad.”

 

  “I don’t know about you, but I would like to be alive by the end of this road trip. And that means you not falling asleep at the wheel and turning this daydream into an old time tragedy.”

 

  She’s about to argue some more when a yawn forces its way out of , and Nayeon’s looking more than a little smug when her eyes open again. She sighs defeatedly.

 

  “I guess a quick rest wouldn't hurt.”

 

  Eyes shining a little too brightly with victory make something nervous begin simmering in the bottom of her stomach, and not for the first time. Her hand snakes its way down the