Rough winds were shaking the squeaky windows of her room, the strong whistles causing the fuzz on the back of her neck to stand up and her arms to wrap tighter around herself. Her eyes flickered and she shut them quickly as the lightning illuminated her residence for a fraction of a second, thunder hit not too late after, its crackle low and intimidating. Thinking it was over, she opened her eyes slowly and unwrapped herself from her own arms, rubbing at a spot on her bicep in a desperate attempt to soothe herself and calm her nerves down.  

Irene never liked thunderstorms or any storms for that matter. Maybe it was because of her dislike for sudden noises and bright lights, both of which were characteristics of a thunderstorm. She wasn’t a coward, but she wasn’t the bravest, she just didn’t like getting surprised and was easily overwhelmed.  

During her trainee days, Irene often found herself dragging her feet until she reached Seulgi's bed, she would crawl onto her mattress and sleep facing the wall with the younger girl's arms wrapped around her, fingers intertwined and thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand, or snuggled up into the crook of Seulgi's neck, head on her shoulder and arms wrapped around her own small frame as Seulgi rubbed her back or smoothed her hair.  

Seulgi was the only person Irene could trust to that extent, they both had always been there for each other, Seulgi welcomed Irene when she first came to SM and supported her through her rough beginner days and Irene helped Seulgi during her slumps. She held her hair when she threw up from dancing for hours on end with an empty stomach, held her hands to stop her from peeling her lips when she was anxious or held her when she thought she wasn’t enough. Seulgi supported Irene as much as she could, even when Joohyun wouldn’t talk, even when Joohyun isolated herself from those around her, locking herself in the practice room or in her own room for days on end, dancing, singing and rapping, trying to focus on her dream, instead of the constant thoughts that ran through her mind telling her she wasn’t worth it, to give up and go back home. On days like those, Seulgi made Irene her favorite instant ramen and placed it in front of her door, knocking or sliding a note with a smiley face drawn on it under the frame.  

Seulgi knew Irene didn’t like to talk about her problems and vent her feelings to others and she respected that. Irene always liked that Seulgi gave her space when she wasn’t feeling good. They both loved each other very much.  

But after debuting, Irene rarely came to her bed at 3 in the morning anymore, she was their leader now and she never wanted her members to see her break or look weak, she wanted her members to look up to her and be strong and in order to do that, Irene often sacrificed her own well-being to put them before herself. Seulgi worried but intervened when necessary, when Irene was tiring herself too much, when she wasn’t resting or taking care of herself. While Seulgi did miss how Irene used to be, a little more open and honest with her, she respected Irene and looked up to her for being such a role model to all of her members.  

A hot sliver of lightning pulled Seulgi out of her thoughts, the smile that had formed while thinking of her trainee days wiping itself off her face as worry infiltrated her mind. She wondered if Irene was doing fine, the storm was getting worse and the thunder could be heard loud and clear, it was close more often than not, the raindrops could be heard on the roof, falling with no rhythm or habit, big droplets hitting the windows and traveling to the earth. The wind had gotten more aggressive too, the windows occasionally shaking, whistling as the air made his way in through the cracks. 

The blustery weather kept Irene awake, slightly shaking, hands grabbing at her arms, desperately trying to force herself into sleep, knowing it wasn’t working. She tried to pull the covers over her head, hoping it would hide the lightning, but it didn’t work. She tried wearing an eye mask but it was too suffocating and it only made her more anxious. She tried counting sheep but stopped after sheep number 34, since it was only hurting her jaw. She knew there was Seulgi, but she didn’t want to bother her anymore. They weren't trainees anymore and Irene wasn’t a kid. 

Lightning struck and a loud thunderclap forced a high whimper out of Irene, shutting her eyes, she tried taking a deep breath in, her breaths turning cold and short, she hugged herself harder, nails unconsciously digging into her arms, she jumped again as three low, almost unnoticeable knocks made themselves heard.  

Seulgi opened the door just enough for her body to slide between it and the frame, doing her best to close it silently. She made her way to the window, unlocking it and placing a neatly folded towel under it, she closed the window again, making sure it was airtight. 

'This will stop the whistling.' She thought to herself, sighing as she dragged her feet to make her way out of the room.  

Out of the corner of her eye, Seulgi noticed Joohyun's small figure under the big blanket, her body folded in a way that only made her look smaller, knees almost touching her chest, arms wrapped around her own body. From her point of view, Seulgi could see Irene's nails digging into her skin, she got a little closer, making sure to keep her voice down to avoid startling Irene. 

"Unnie" Seulgi whispered, index finger coming down under Joohyun's to keep her from hurting herself any more.  

Irene let in a shaky breath, taking her hand out of Seulgi's gentle grip and placing it under her arm. "Thank you, I'm ok." She knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t want to be taken care of anymore, she couldn’t let herself be vulnerable, it was for her members' sake. 

"No, you're not."  

Irene didn’t answer, and Seulgi took that as a surrender, she lifted the covers and Irene immediately turned to face her, eyes glassy, with tears threatening to fall at any second. Seulgi let herself under the covers, placing her head on the back of her hand, elbow on the pillow. She covered herself and Irene as her unnie scooched closer to her body, head down and nuzzled into Seulgi's chest. 

"You're ok, I'm here." Seulgi whispered into the room, feeling Irene putting her hands between her own thighs, body tensing as she tries to keep herself from crying. She didn’t want to seem weak in front of Seulgi, as much as she trusted her, she was her leader and a leader is supposed to be strong, and lead, not cry because of lightning and thunder. 

Seulgi came down to press a soft kiss against Joohyun's head, her other hand coming to brush the hair out of her forehead, tugging it behind her ears. Irene only nuzzled her face more into Seulgi's chest, biting her lip.  

"You know, unnie, you don’t have to be strong all the time." Irene nodded, as a tear spilled onto from her eye, sliding onto her nose and tickling her. She smiled into Seulgi as the younger girl wiped the tear off of her face. 

Lightning brightened the room once again and Irene felt her arm come up to hug Seulgi and hold on to her. Her body provided warmth her bed couldn’t, it provided her with safety that her big blanket couldn’t. She felt herself exhale as Seulgi planted another kiss on the top of Joohyun's head, hand on her back, drawing messy circles against her skin. 

"You're human, you need a break, we all do. It's ok to let it out sometimes, you can talk to me, I'm your right hand, after all, right?" Seulgi asked, expecting no answer from Joohyun, 

It's as if Seulgi could read into her mind and thoughts. "You're an incredible leader, unnie. We couldn’t ask for more. I just wish you would come to me when you're not feeling well. I'm always here for you." Seulgi felt Irene lazily nod her head against her chest. 

"I love you, Joohyun. We all love you." 

"I love you, too." And with that, Irene felt asleep against Seulgi's chest, listening to her heartbeat as it soothed her into a deep, much-needed sleep.