You woke up with a start the next day feeling more tired than rested. Your eyes travelled to the wall clock near your door frame and your eyes immediately widened when you saw that it was already half past noon.

Geez. I know that it’s the weekend but this is unacceptable!

You scrambled in your sheets and jumped out the bed because your stomach was already on an all out grumble protest. You started taking off your pajamas and finding some change of clothes in your drawer.

That’s when you remembered that you weren’t exactly alone.

Memories of the previous sleepover entered your mind. You quickly stopped changing halfway to see if Irene is awake.

And, if she has seen you just strip yourself without any warning.

Then you realized that you were alone, you heaved a deep sigh of relief.

 She has always been an early riser so it wasn’t a new scene. You continued to dress and proceeded to the bathroom to wash your face. When you finished, you quickly made your way down to the kitchen.

“Good morning to you” your mother said. She wasn’t exactly looking at you because she was busy fixing something to eat.

“Errrrr...”

“Seulgi dear you’re practically grown woman now. Can you please not sleep as if you were a bear deep in hibernation?” she stopped whatever she was doing and turned to face you. “Well, you are my bear so..”

She made her way over to you and pinched your cheeks.

“Mom!” you groaned.

She laughed a little and continued to finish whatever she was doing. You took a seat in one of the chairs and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. You stifled a big yawn.

“Irene has always been the first one to wake up every time you guys have a sleepover” she casually mentioned.

“Yeah” you mumbled in response. Your eyes were still glassy and your eyelids were still heavy.

Staying up that late while avoiding the possibility of saying something that might make things weird tired you out. You were sure that you avoided most of the revealing parts.

Then again, you weren’t exactly sure when and how you fell asleep. Your memories seemed to be vague and fuzzy when it tries to remember that part of the night.

The moments leading to the part where you actually fell asleep were blank.

“She even helped me with the chores and the cooking” your mother continued to drawl. She then proceeded to settle some plates in front of you. “Such a shame that she has to run off all of a sudden. The two of you didn’t have the chance to eat breakfast together! Well, I blame you-“

“She left already?” you cut her off.

“Well yes dear. Don’t blame me if that’s what happened. You were sleeping for most of the morning.”

You had to admit that you felt a little down after hearing that.

The previous night was perfect and you were kind of on board with your mother’s idea of seeing the two of you together like the old times. Like having sleepovers and eating breakfast together the morning after. You really had a nice time with her and the selfish side of you wanted for it to last just a little longer.

Now that you heard what you needed last night.

And now that you’ve finally set yourself to just accept the fact that the person that you’ve fallen for has the intent of falling in love with somebody else.

Your yummy breakfast seemed bland that morning. The only thing that kept you from walking away from it was the thought that your mother took the time to prepare all of this for you. When you finished, you volunteered to clean the table and wash the dishes.

Since it was the weekend, you also made your way to help around the house a little bit—waking up that late really ate your conscience up. You helped sort out the recyclables that your father keeps at the back of your house. You also vacuumed in the living room.

There wasn’t really much to do anyways so after doing that, you were vacated again.

So, you just excused yourself to take a stroll outside for some fresh air.

The afternoon was bright and sunny. It made you feel like having the decision to go out for a stroll was a good thing.

You really had no plan on where to go or what to do so your first half hour outside was spent on aimlessly walking around the neighbourhood. It was relaxing anyways so you didn’t have much to complain about.

Then you found yourself in the park once again. You reckoned that you’ll just past the time here.

Many people were spending the afternoon there. Kids were busy playing in the playground and their parents were busy keeping an eye out for them. Some people were also spread on the ground; either having a picnic or just relaxing.

A small breeze blew, making the whole ambience in the park more relaxing than it already is.

You went to the nearby vending machine and bought a cold drink and sat at a nearby bench after. You took out your phone and earphones from your pocket and scrolled through your playlist.

But before you could play some music, you noticed that you had several unread messages. You opened your inbox and your eyes immediately lit up when you found that Joohyun left you a message from earlier this morning. You eagerly opened it.

Text message from: Joohyun (7:47 am)

Joohyun: ddeulgie!!! lolz xp sorry i had to leave early~ i was awakend by ur loud snoring!!! haha. jk. :P i didn’t want to wake u up so i took off~ (not without hving ur mom’s grde a bfast :D)

You can’t help but smile with that simple message of hers. Of course you were kind of embarrassed that she used that reason but you were pretty sure that she was just messing with you. You scrolled more and read the rest of her message.

suho needed help with the prty laterz so i rlly needed to go.

Of course you do.

You sighed deeply and looked at the view in front of you for it helped you relax and put your mind at ease.

Bits of your conversation with her last night entered your brain. It happened just a few hours ago yet it felt so distant as if it happened a million years ago.

You remembered what she said about Suho.

About liking him so much but feeling as if whatever she was feeling wasn’t enough to be called ‘love’.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

Many people have trouble figuring out what they really feel especially if it’s towards another person. We have our doubts, our qualms, and our overall worry on whether or not whatever we’re feeling was genuine or not. If we do however, we get a chance.

That was the point where you’ll find out if you’ll pursue those feelings or not.

That was never the case for you though.

You never had second thoughts nor doubts on the subject of liking her. From the get go, you knew and you were sure that you liked her.

And it only bloomed and grew into something more that it started to amaze you yourself.

You looked at the message once again and saw that she attached something to it. You were half expecting it to be some picture of her and Suho again.

But as you clicked the picture, right there, you were caught off guard yet again by your feelings for her.

The picture was her posing near your face—with your mouth parted slightly while sleeping. She probably took it while you were still sleeping earlier. On the picture was a sticker of a bunny and bear; complementing both of your already matching pajamas. She also wrote something in purple letters:

Matchy-matchy~!! Let’s do this again Ddeulgie-yah! Lol :D

You’d like that.

Really you would.

Sitting there and putting your mind at ease with the prospect of spending time with her again is enough.

It is enough.

It should be enough.

All these helpless attempt of pining for someone who’s falling for someone else is enough.

You let yourself look at the picture in your phone again with a smile on your face; your eyes lingered on her wide smile and happy eyes.

Deep inside, you knew that you were the only one who can make her smile like that.

And just settling to be a ‘just’ a friend won’t jeopardize that one little thing that only you can do, right?

A big weight seemed to move from your chest. You weren’t sure on what ground but you knew that something huge stirred.

You weren’t happy, you were certain of that.

But you weren’t exactly sad either.

Maybe because from the get go—from the moment you felt it and from that moment of realization that you were feeling right there—you never really fathomed the possibility of voicing your feelings out and actually saying it to her.

Yeah... Maybe that’s it.

Maybe I’m feeling much better than what I actually would feel because I never really had the balls to do it that even in my hypothetical imagination, I can’t imagine myself actually confessing.

Your gripped tightened around your phone as you threw your head back and leaned in more to the bench. The warm breeze and warm light of the sun offered a seemingly small pat on your back to make things feel a little better.

You close your eyes and let the noises of the lazy weekend afternoon drown your qualms away.