Static noise suddenly filled the car. Younghyun quickly swerved to the curb, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest.

“What the f-“

“What?” Jae asked innocently. “Your taste in music has certainly declined in a span of what… one week?” He was seated in the passenger seat, eyes filled with determination as he changed from one radio station to another. He frowned often; none of the stations seemed to play good music anymore.

“Oh! This one. I like this song!” Jae finally stopped toying with the radio and leaned back in his seat, proud, as if he just discovered the best song ever.

“Go on, keep driving.”

“Great… I missed the green light."

“Turn left then.”

“Seriously, the longer route?”

“Why not? I’m offended. You seem so eager to get rid of me.”

Younghyun fell silent. He gripped the steering wheel tight. 

“Hey… I mean, it’s not like won’t be seeing each other again, right?” Jae said quietly. He tried to catch Younghyun's eyes but the boy remained stoic, eyes fixed on the stoplight. "Sorry..." he mumbled.

The red light turned green. 

With a deep breath, Younghyun turned left.

++++++

BEEEEEP!

Younghyun’s car came screeching to a halt as he stepped on the brakes, narrowly avoiding another car which was crossing the intersection.

“What the dude?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!” Jae screamed.

“Stupid car!” Younghyun honked his horn.

“It’s a red light! You should have stopped as soon as it turned red!”

Jae saw the look of frustration on his friend’s face. The recklessness and irritability--- this was not the Younghyun he knew, especially not on the road. He sighed. Cautiously, he placed his hand over Younghyun’s. “Take it slow Younghyun… Why don’t we stop by at that cafe for a while?”

Younghyun looked ahead. He could see the cafe Jae frequented right around the corner. He smiled despite himself.

“You don’t even drink coffee.”

“But you do,” Jae said, a wide grin now on his face. “Plus, I loved the ambiance there.”

“Loved the ambiance… or the barista?”

“Don’t remind me. I wasn’t even able to ask her out,” Jae said looking defeated. “Stop being a smart . Come on! Let’s go!”

++++++

Younghyun inhaled the thick coffee scent that hung in the air. He felt his mood instantly lift. He shouldn't have left the house without having coffee in the first place.

“She’s so pretty,” Jae whispered in his ear as they walked up to the counter.

“Oh, hi Younghyun,” the barista greeted, almost as if hesitantly. “How are you-“

“I’m good. I’m doing fine. I’d like an Iced Americano…"

Fine? Jae looked at his friend incredulously. Younghyun looked the opposite of fine; he was acting the opposite of fine. In fact, he just realized there were dark circles around his friend's eyes, with his face now properly lit by the cafe’s lighting.

“...To go please."

“Aren’t we staying any longer?” Jae asked, disappointed. He was planning on enjoying the ambiance while Younghyun had his fill, but the boy simply walked out the door as soon as he got his coffee.

Jae looked from his friend to the girl. She was looking sadly in their direction.

"Damn… He's really making me chose between him and her, isn't he?" 

He smiled apologetically at the barista before going after Younghyun.

“Hey! Slow down will you!” Jae ran to the car, fearing that he'd actually get left behind.

Younghyun took a long sip of coffee and leaned back his head. He closed his eyes and a tear fell down his cheek.

Jae’s heart sank.

“You’re not doing fine Younghyun,” he gathered the courage to say. “You shouldn’t hold it in, you know? It’s not good for you-”

“Good for me?” Younghyun forced out a laugh. “I don’t think the person who made me not fine, has the right to tell me what’s good for me or not.” 

Jae felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. 

“I’m sorry Younghyun…”

“I told you to wait for me that day! I even called you! And what did you say?!”

Jae didn’t reply, unsure if it was a question that was meant to be answered.

“You told me you’d wait for me!” 

Younghyun punched the wheel. Jae caught his arm and stopped him before he could hit it a second time. “Don’t Younghyun, you’ll only hurt yourself.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much!” Younghyun let his head fall on the steering wheel as he cried.

“It’s okay. Just let it out. You’ve held it in long enough.” Jae Younghyun’s hair. 

There was a heavy silence between them. Only the sound of Younghyun's stifled sobs filled the silence once in a while.

“Younghyun. I’m really sorry… I-I wish I listened to you for once. Then maybe we wouldn’t have had to meet this way. Please forgive me.”

++++++

Jae peeked out the car, they were outside a supermarket. He wasn’t expecting Younghyun to make another stop.

“I’ll wait for you here…” Jae said as Younghyun left. He didn’t want to force himself onto Younghyun anymore after what happened. The guilt was still consuming him. 

He looked at his hands, it was pale in the moonlight. "I should leave soon," he said to himself. A star twinkled in the sky in agreement.

Jae snapped out of his reverie when Younghyun returned.

“Younghyun…”

The boy had placed a bouquet of flowers on his lap.

“I know you hate these kinds of things. I would have bought you a bouquet of lobsters instead, but…” Younghyun left his sentenced unfinished with a sigh, a wistful smile followed.

Jae was speechless. Did he just receive a bouquet of flowers from none other than Kang Younghyun? “You’re so ing sweet." He burst out in laughter. A tear that welled up in his eye rolled down his cheek. "You should have done this way before. We...“ Jae's words faltered as he heard Younghyun speaking in a sad voice.

“I-I’m sorry Jae… I didn’t mean what I said… I can never hate you. I’m so sorry.”

“Forgiven.” Jae replied quietly, smiling as he smelled the flowers.

“I love you! Please come back to me.” Younghyun cried out of the blue, and soon enough he began crying again.

“Younghyun… Please don't make this hard for me..."

++++++

“I’m home!” Wonpil called out as he opened the door to their apartment. The shoes Younghyun wore in the morning were scattered by the entryway, overturned and muddy. He sighed. He arranged their shoes beside each other before entering.

“Hyung, have you had dinner…” Wonpil's voice trailed off. Younghyun was on the floor removing things from a box.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Wonpil approached carefully. Picture frames and vinyl records surrounded the boy who was working quietly.

Wonpil understood what Younghyun was going through, even though the older boy refused to talk about it.

'Don't worry about me...' 

'I'm going to be fine...'

Younghyun would say often, but it was easy to see right through him, with his words and actions at constant odds.

Wonpil knew Younghyun needed time to heal and wanted space to find that healing on his own. He afforded him that, for what seemed like ages, even if it had only been a week. Wonpil found himself breathing a sigh of relief as he stood there watching Younghyun, because, for the first time his friend was finally doing something about his feeling.

“I-I’m going to return his things to his room…” Younghyun replied mindlessly.

“Hyung…” Wonpil placed his hand on Younghyun’s shoulder. “Don’t do this to yourself…”

“I’ll clean his room, I promise… I’m just afraid I’ll forget him. I-I can’t forget him...”

"Please hyung..." Wonpil tried to stop Younghyun from unpacking anymore of Jae’s things.

“Leave me alone!” Younghyun pushed Wonpil away, but the younger boy pulled him into an embrace.

“Hyung, I know it has been harder for you compared to anyone else. But we’re all here for you. I'm here for you. We’ll get through this together.”

Younghyun started crying uncontrollably. “I miss him so much. I can’t live without him Wonpil. I want to go to him."

“Hyung, don’t say that. Jae hyung wouldn’t want to hear you say such things.”

Younghyun cried harder, and Wonpil just let him. It was, after all, the first time he saw his friend cry after what had happened.

“You must be tired. Why don’t you rest for a while?”

Wonpil helped Younghyun to the sofa and let the weary boy rest on his shoulder, just as how he saw Jae and Younghyun before. his friend's arm, Wonpil listened as older boy's breathing slowly returned to normal.

++++++

“Younghyun…”

Younghyun stirred in his sleep.

“Young-“ A sigh. “Brian!”

“Mmm? Jae?” Younghyun rubbed his eyes. There was only one person who called him Brian. “Why are you already up?” he asked as he sat up on the sofa. His eyes fell on Jae's luggage, the boy's guitar case slung over his shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry I woke you up, but I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

There was a long silence between them before Younghyun finally spoke. “Can’t you take me with you?”

“I’ll kill you if you follow me Younghyun. I swear to-“

“I miss you already,” Younghyun said quietly. His head hung low, avoiding having to look his friend in the eyes.

“I’ll always be here…”

“I hate metaphors." Younghyun replied with annoyance in his voice.

“So you’re talking back now, huh?” Jae laughed, ruffling the boy’s hair. Younghyun promptly swatted his hand away.

“I want you to move on, but don’t you dare forget about me, okay?” Jae spoke softly this time.

“I’ll try. I can’t promise… but I’ll do my best.” 

Younghyun finally looked at Jae. His eyes slowly roamed his friend's face as if trying to memorize every line, every crease, everything that was Park Jaehyung.

“Why don’t you go back to sleep? You still look sleepy.” Jae smiled at Younghyun’s disheveled hair and at the recollection of his friend’s morning voice. 

Younghyun leaned on Jae's shoulder.

"I love you Jae. I love you so much…”

“I love you more. I wish I could have stayed longer…”

The sound of Jae and Younghyun’s breathing alternated in the silence.

“Before you fall asleep, I need the password to the door. It’s locked.”

“Password? How can it be locked, we’re in the inside…”

“You know the password Younghyun..."

There was a pause as Younghyun gave it a thought.

“I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

++++++

Younghyun sat infront of the television unmoving. The headline of the morning news: 1 killed in freeway vehicular accident. He bit his lip, holding back his tears. The accident happened about the time the radio suddenly switched stations while he was driving. About the time, he had second thoughts whether or not he should take the longer route on his way to visit Jae. It turned out that the path he took was the one that would saved his life.

“Jae…”

He smiled, a single tear escaped his eye.