Her head felt like it was splitting when she woke up to see the sharp rays of sunlight directing straight into her round orbs. As she shifted her vision quickly from the rays of sunlight that were causing her to have stinging pain in the eyes, she found her mind empty of what happened last night when a person that looked way too familiar to her stood at the doorway with a mug of tea in his hands.

She thought she would never ever get the chance to see him again.

"Jinki...!" A smile was formed on her lips instantly as she quickly pushed herself off the bed, only to have her knees buckling from the lack of strength they held. The mug of tea was dropped when Jinki rushed forward to support her frail frame - instead of snapping at Jinki for dirtying her favorite carpet and responding to his worried whispers, all she could do was to continue smiling at the person before her. She wasn't even worried if she were to fall earlier - no, she would never fall.

Jessica Jung would never fall if Lee Jinki were there with her. 

"Why are you suddenly here, Jinki? I thought I will never see you again." Jessica muttered softly as she hugged Jinki tightly, in awe that he might just suddenly disappear if this were just a dream, if all this were just the work of her very own hallucination - it happened before, and it wasn't just one time. "I miss you so much, Jinki."

By how she could really breathe in Jinki's favorite cologne that hadn't changed over the years, and his warmth that she thought she could indulge in all day long, Jessica knew she wasn't dreaming. What was happening wasn't a hallucination - it was the truth. Jinki was right here, and she had him in her arms. 

She finally could, after these three years. 

"Krystal called me and cried. She was so worried and afraid that she would lose her sister, whose depression's condition getting worse. And so-" Guilt suddenly pricked her heart after hearing Jinki's words. "-She asked me to come and see you. She wanted me to... save you."

Jessica didn't know how to react, she really didn't know how to. She could only nod stiffly as she pressed her cheek onto Jinki's chest, her arms tightly around his waist. She knew exactly why her sister did that. Her appetite had been decreasing insanely from last two years; for now even five spoonfuls of rice seemed too much for her. If not for Krystal who came over everyday just to make sure that she at least had proper meals, she probably would have died. She didn't want to visit a psychiatrist to treat her depression too, she just thought there was no need to and - she just wanted to go home.

She wanted to go home, with Jinki. 

"... Jinki, I want to go home." She grabbed onto the sleeves of Jinki's shirt, tugging at it weakly as she spoke with her shaky voice - this day finally came. It finally did. "Take me home."

She closed her eyes when his warm fingers ran through her deep brown hair gently, and heard a soft sigh escape from his lips. Something in her heart went chill, as she pulled away from Jinki, to look at him in the eyes. Praying silently, she hoped that he wouldn't refuse her - it was the last blow that she wanted to take. Jinki wouldn't hurt her-

"This is your home, Jessica." Jinki's voice turned so soft suddenly, with a sad smile on his face. "This is your and Taecyeon's home."

-And yet she hurt Jinki.

Jessica could remember it all. How they shrieked in victory when they managed to secure their territory in the playground after driving the three big bullies away, how they would always run to the arcade after school with their hands tightly clasped together, how his arms would be around her waist from behind when she felt cold as they snuck out at night to have spicy rice cakes as supper, how she took him by huge surprise when she pecked him on the lips as they threw their square academic caps up to the sky, how they would wipe each other's sweat away sweetly when they moved all the furniture into the apartment that they had bought, how they started to realize how cruel society could be, and lastly to how she erred - when she eventually chose money and status over love.

They had, from a pair of pure childhood friends, to a sweet and loving couple who had broken up tearfully and cruelly - just because the third person had money and status.

"Jinki, I just... can't stand the feeling of being poor anymore." Jessica bit her bottom lip hardly as she tried to pull her gloved hands out of Jinki's grip, but her boyfriend just tightened the grip instead. He had his head hung low - she couldn't see what was on his features. Was he trying to force a smile out, or was he trying his best not to cry? Jessica's heart just turned sour at that thought. "... Jinki, you have to let me go."

She got to leave right now - any moment longer she couldn't bring herself to leave anymore.

"Listen to me, Jinki. You will find someone better than me and be with her." The thought of that killed her in the mind silently. "And I want happiness, Jinki. I don't want to be troubled over money, I hate to be troubled by it. I need happiness, Jinki."

Jessica swallowed deeply as she pointed to the church, where lots of people were crowding at. Jinki seemed to tilt his head up slightly to see where Jessica was pointing at, and when he did, Jessica saw a droplet of his tears fell onto the ground. It broke Jinki so much, as well as Jessica herself. 

"The person inside there, receiving everyone's blessings can give me happiness." Jinki's grip finally loosened, and Jessica didn't know why she started to tear up when he did. "Taecyeon can give me happiness. He can free me of my worries."

His head was still hung low, refusing to look at Jessica in the eyes as he finally let go fully of her hands and took some steps backwards. Jessica quickly wiped away the tears that were gathering at the corner of her eyes as she turned to where the white sleek limousine had stopped at, waiting for her. She knew she would be hated for all that she had done but she couldn't-

"Jessica?"

She turned and saw that Jinki had finally lifted his head up, his red eyes turned into crescents as he forced a smile out.

"I knew you will look pretty as a bride." Jessica felt a lump gathering in a throat, sobs threatening to get out of her lips. "I will give you my blessings."
-

She divulged herself in luxury afterwards.

She bought exquisite jewelries, branded bags and great-appointed clothes - some seemed so plain to her, but she bought them all anyway. A posh car to fetch her to her grand house where her affluential husband would be at. But something was always lacking, and Jessica didn't have the courage to think of it even though she knew what exactly it was. And so she spent all her money extravagantly, and it was not like Taecyeon minded anyway - he loved her so much that it frightened Jessica. He didn't suggest a divorce when he found out that she still loved another.

After a year of her marriage, her husband finally knew why she had never ever said those important three words to him before.

Taecyeon used almost all ways to get her heart back but it was all futile. He would never be able to replace Jinki - and Jessica didn't mean to hurt them both. She heard from her sister that Jinki had been burying himself in work every single day, just trying to get a chance for promotion. And she could see herself how Taecyeon slowly broke down as months passed, when he realized Jessica really couldn't bring herself to love him. And so she suggested a divorce - to free both of them. 

The next day, Taecyeon walked deep into the sea and never came back. 

And she was so guilt-stricken that she got depression in the end - she didn't dare to contact Jinki after hurting him so much, though she wanted to, so badly.

-

Jessica stared at the back-view of Jinki who was wearing his shoes at the doorway - he was going to move back into his own apartment. He had been staying in the mansion together with her ever since Krystal called him to help her sister. With Jinki, she didn't deny that her appetite got a lot more better and her spirits had gotten better, but at the same time she got a lot more guiltier. She couldn't bring herself to apologize and tell Jinki how much she still loved him; she still couldn't erase Taecyeon who had haunted her mind ever since his death. 

Was she selfish if she still wanted Jinki to be with her, like always? 

"I will be going then," Jinki gave a small smile as he brushed strands of brown hair away from her pale face gently. "I will be checking with Krystal to see if-"

Jessica swallowed deeply as she slipped her arms around Jinki's waist tightly, securing him at his position. Even if Jinki rejected her this time, she could understand it - she was someone who had given him up for the sake of wealth and status, she was someone who had hurt him so terribly that he buried himself in work which Jessica clearly knew his disliked everyday. Jinki always held this really hurt expression at those days he stayed with her - the guilt made her mind all dizzy again.

"I always thought that money was the sole source to my happiness, Jinki. When Taecyeon proposed to me, I was... I couldn't think right, he had always been treating me so well, and I was just blinded by what was before me. I thought after marrying him I will be the happiest woman on earth, Jinki. And so I selfishly broke up with you, I'm so sorry." Jessica breathed in deeply as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She finally apologized. "After marrying him, I realized for the first time that there's something missing in my life - I try to cover it up by buying branded bags and everything that I loved in the past. But they did nothing to help me at all, I still miss you during the night, Jinki. And I hurt Taecyeon, no. I killed him-"

Jinki's hands ran through her brown locks gently, stopping her words as he gently whispered into her ears.

"You didn't, Jessica. Don't blame yourself for everything-"

"I did, Jinki. When I got news that he committed suicide I was so guilt-stricken Jinki, do you understand? I just feel like going to the past when we were still together, happily together. When two cones of strawberry ice-cream meant the world to us, when we will draw our names all over the playground, when we will save money for a trip to the beach at the end of the month." Jinki's moved his hands to her shoulders, trying to separate them gently but Jessica just wrapped her arms around his waist tighter instead. "I miss those times when we were living together, Jinki. Just a plate of fried rice with extra sausages can mean a great day to us, and we will spend our days just singing. We don't even need computers to entertain us, we just need each other, Jinki. I want to go back to those days so desperately - I'm so sorry that I took so long to realize it. I just want to go back - I want my happiness which I had overlooked so badly back, Jinki. I'm sorry, Jinki."

Jinki pulled away from Jessica and wiped her tears-streaked face with his sleeve gently, a small smile on his face. 

"I'm leaving."

Jessica forced a small smile back. Even though she could understand why Jinki didn't want to forgive her and go back to how they were, it still hurt. The prick in her heart was hard to ignore as she imagined how Jinki would slowly walk out of the home that Jessica felt so suffocated in, and to the path where lilies' scents were lingering in the air. Jessica breathed in deeply as she wiped the tears that were falling silently. She deserved all this-

A warm hand grabbed onto hers gently, and she quickly looked up to see Jinki's smile which looked so forgiving that had Jessica holding her breath. 

"But you are coming with me, right?"