Seulgi wouldn’t let me live and it was killing me.

I had just taken a shower, marveling at my body that looked nothing like mine but was nonetheless, and was rummaging through my—our closet for something to wear. None of them were business clothes, which I wasn’t sure what to make of. My father had always been hopeful for me to take up his business, as successful as it was, and it had always been a source of tension between us. But it seemed that I managed to escape the corporate world with his consent, seeing that the house, or apartment, whatever this was, clearly costed much more than an average salary could ever afford.

It was then that warm arms circled my waist and a body pressed into mine, and I knew I was royally screwed. Hopefully, I was just as awkward as an adult as I was a teenager. Seulgi burrowed into the crook of my neck, her nose brushing against me and I shivered. I’d always been sensitive there and it looked like she knew this, too. As I said, royally screwed.

“Mm, you smell nice,” she sighed.

I almost whimpered, but managed to ask, “How long have we been dating now?”

There was no hesitation. “Officially? Three years.”

Three years. I had been dating Kang Seulgi for three years. Me. Not only that, but we were living together, sleeping in the same bed, holding a domestic life together. Going from pining to practically married was shocking if nothing else. This level of intimacy was something I hadn’t even imagined. Yet. Okay, maybe it crossed my mind once or twice, but I would have never thought it actually possible.

“What’s on your mind, honey? You’ve been weird since this morning.”

I should have known Seulgi would be the type to use nicknames. Real or not, I damn well couldn’t tell her that I was supposed to be on my last leg of high school pining over her, not in a three year relationship with her. I smiled half-heartedly and tapped her arm that encircled my waist. Despite being awkward, I could act convincingly when I wanted to. It was a skill I had to learn as a child, attending small events that my father would usher me to where I learned that business was all about acting. It was a survival technique to put it bluntly. I hated to have to use it now.

“It’s nothing. I just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

“Again? I didn’t,” she leaned impossibly closer to me, “tire you out enough last night?”

I went beet red, I could feel it, but all she did was giggle and kiss my bare shoulder before pulling away. Before I could do anything, Seulgi was spinning me around and holding a black button up to my chest, then a sweater of the same color in her other hand. Her brows were furrowed, her tongue peeking out from the corner of her lips, and I was awestruck all over again.

She handed me the black sweater and then navy blue jeans from behind her and nodded. “Perfect. Come down quickly, okay? I have to go to class and I wanna see you before I go.”

Class? That would mean that Seulgi was still in college, which probably meant that I had just gotten out, unless she was going for a master’s degree? It was possible. She’d always been a good student, at the top five of our school, and she had the spirit to pursue her dream, whatever it may be.

So, if I was out of college, what was I doing now?

I got dressed as quickly as I could and looked into the mirror. Who knew I would grow up to look like this? I had an inkling that it was Seulgi’s doing, if her dressing me hadn’t been evidence enough. Taking a final glance around the lavish dressing room, I made my way into the hallway. The first thing that caught my eye was the lines of colorful picture frames along the walls. On closer inspection, I realized that they were pictures of us.

It was much homier than I’d expected, vastly different from my father’s house where the only photos were of my father and I in professional attire, the large picture framed in gold. It wasn’t so much the epitome of love as it was a statement to my father’s business associates. These pictures on the walls, however, were snapshots of Seulgi and I holding hands, kissing, hugging, one of us staring lovingly at the other, laughing together. They were memories. Memories I had no recollection of. It slowly came to me that my lack of knowledge of the works of our relationship was more or less an issue.

I continued down the hallway, scanning the pictures, then came to a dead stop. At the end of the hall, there was a beautiful spiral staircase that wound down to the first floor, the wall that I was facing made completely of glass, and I knew then that we were in an apartment suite. The window overlooked the city as far as the eye could see, and I was breathless. The view was stunning.

“Hyunnie, I have to go!”

Right. I made my way down the black spiral staircase as quickly as I could, hopping down the last few steps like I did with every staircase I’d ever been on, and was met with the sight of Seulgi in the kitchen, setting up a table for one with a piece of toast in . I couldn’t help but watch her for a moment. She’d definitely grown beyond expectations. Her hair was longer, features sharper, body womanly instead of girlish like I was used to, but her sweet charm was still evident, although I hadn’t been prepared for the . . . “rated R” part of her, although I wasn’t complaining.

“What are you standing here for?” Seulgi cooed, snapping me out of my thoughts with a light peck on my cheek then a slightly longer one on my lips. She pulled away, and I was floored by the tenderness in her eyes as she swiped her thumb gently against my cheekbone with her free hand and smiled. I was proud to be standing. “Good luck with your novel today. We still have our date, though, at four. Don’t forget. I’ll drag you out if I have to, you hear me?” she said.

I nodded, collecting myself. “Crystal. But shouldn’t you be getting to class?”

Seulgi gasped and her heel, whipping me in the face with her hair in the process. I smelled citrus. “I’m late! This is your fault,” she whined, scrambling towards the dining table and sweeping up her purse and binder, “Date at four, don’t forget! I love you!”

Then, she was gone.

Kang Seulgi loved me at this place, at this time. We were in a three year relationship and lived in a beautiful apartment together. We were happy, and I was . . . a writer? I’d actually achieved my dream to be a writer? Not a business woman trapped in a vicious cycle of manipulation and lies, but a writer that saw both the good and ugly of people, and wrote about the beauty of humanity all the same.

This was everything I could have ever hoped for, something I never would have dreamed possible, and so I had to find what was wrong with it.

~

It was October 25, 2018 in the city of Seoul. I was twenty-four. Evidently, I was a bestselling author with two novels under the pen name of Irene and a third one coming along by the summer of 2019. Everyone knew I was gay and in a relationship and I was revered for it. In simple terms, I had achieved a level of fame. The money was not from my father, but my own income, and I knew then that there was a high probability that my father and I were not in the best of terms as I’d hoped. I wasn’t surprised, though. I’d thought it was too good to be true. Other than that, my life was pretty much perfect.

But how?

I tried to remember w