Choices
MINEKMY’S POV
“How about us Mo Yeon-ah? How about you and me?”
I close my eyes, thinking about his questions that i didn’t answer earlier today, when we were waiting for Hee Jin.
I wish i could answer him right away about what i feel, what i want, but i just can’t, maybe not yet.
Yoo Si Jin has been a part of me since so long, he literally is my first in everything, he’s the first man that i love with all my heart, yes, i love him so much until it hurts.
“Eomma, i’m sleepy.” I Heard my daughter whispers to me, then i look at her, she’s smiling with her sleepy eyes.
“Alright, eomma will turn off the lights, come here let eomma kiss you.”
I kiss her cheek and so does she, then she closes her eyes.
“Eomma, salanghaeee..”
My heart swells with love whenever i hear those words coming out from , i love my daughter so much, she’s my everything, my joy, my happiness, the source of light for my life.
I still remember those days when she was just born, she was so tiny with a lot of medical equipment connected to her tiny body, that equipment which kept her alive.
My Hee Jin was born earlier than other normal babies, that’s why some parts of her lung were not fully mature when she’s born.
“Miss Kang, i’m sorry but we need to take her to the OR now.”
The words that sometimes still come to my nightmare, that night when Hee Jin was rushed to the operating room for a big surgery for her lung, they called it Apnea of prematurity which basically that my baby forgot to breathe since her lung was so small and the area near the lung was closed.
I sat down in front of the OR, tears kept flowing from my eyes, i remember Myeong Ju and Dae Young came and Myeong Ju hugged me, telling me that my daughter would be okay, she would survive it.
One part of me knew for sure that my Hee Jin would survive, but another part of me was so scared to even think or breathe, that’s the same part who wished her father would be there, to hug me, to make sure that i’m okay.
But Yoo Si Jin wasn’t there.
That is why i still have a lot of doubts, not just for him and his love for me but i’m doubting myself.
If i open my heart again for him, or for any men that will come after him, can i trust them with all my heart like i used to?
Can i make sure that he will love us with all of his heart?
What if after i open my heart for him, he will disappear again?
What if later he’ll realize that both of us only become a burden for him?
What if..what if..what if someday he realizes that he doesn’t love me as much as i do?
and what if all the things that he does are just based on guilt? not love?
I know i have so many things in my mind, so many worries, but hey, i’m a mother now, my life doesn’t only revolve around me, i have another human being that needs more attention and love than me, and as her mother, i want to make sure that she gets everything that she deserves.
End of KMY’S POV
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“Eomma, is appa coming fol bleakfassttt?”
Hee Jin cheerfully asks her while she’s already seated in her chair, waiting to be fed.
Mo Yeon is pouring a glass of milk when she hears this particular question, which she knows that will definitely be asked by her daughter.
Before she even replies, the doorbell rings, and she knows who’s behind that door, because she’s the one who invites that particular person to join their breakfast, and yes of course, in less than a minute that particular person answers with a big YES.
“Good morning Mo Yeon-ah.” He greets her right away with a beaming smile.
“Good morning, come in, Hee Jin is waiting.”
“Are you waiting for me too?” He cheekily responds her, but Mo Yeon doesn’t reply back.
“APPPPAA!!” Hee Jin screams joyfully when she sees her dad.
“Heyyy good morning princess.” He approaches her and immediately takes her into his arms and he lifts her up and down.
“Appaaaa why you so stloonggg!! appa aleady have bleakfasst?” Hee Jin giggles.
“Anni, appa hasn’t eaten anything yeettt, because eomma told appa she will cook breakfast.”
“Jinjja? but why appa can lift Hee Jin high and highhh even befollee bleakfastt?”
“Because Hee Jin’s smile give appa a lot of powerr” He bends down to kiss her daughter.
“Jeongmall? okay, Hee Jin will smile often to appa.”
“Hhahaa that’s my princess.”
Their cute morning conversation makes Mo Yeon smiles, she might not sure about Si Jin for now, but just by seeing Hee Jin so happy, it’s more than enough for her.
They finish their breakfast and now Mo Yeon starts to prepare herself for work, Si Jin already told her that from now on she doesn’t need to leave Hee Jin at the daycare because he wi
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