Have you learned your lesson now?

If I can’t have you, no one else can have you.

I love you the most, Kyungsoo.

Remember the day you confessed to me? When you finally realized that the feelings you have for me were mutual? That was definitely the best day of my life. The best thing that has ever happened to me. You did it, Kyungsoo. You finally overcome your fear of coming out to me and confessing. I’m proud of you.

You told me you love me, ever since I approached you. Ever since I rode the train with you, ever since I took you home. You fell in love with my kindness and I fell in love with your beautiful smile that you never showed to others except me.

I made you open up, meet more people, to see if you will give the same affection and attention that you give to me. But, I’m so glad that you didn’t.

I’m a special one, aren’t I?

Ofcourse, I am. Because I’m the only one who loves you, truly.

Kyungsoo, I’m really sorry that I rejected you. I never told you the reason why, because you never even asked me and my heart that was only made for you-shattered when I saw your body tense up and your face turn into the shades of white. I saw the hurt that flashed in your doe eyes, but you lowered your head and hid it with a soft smile.

You never asked me why I did, even though it was obvious that I liked you back. I was guessing that you knew the reason why, and I thought we understood each other without having to confirm it with words. Being a celebrity, a singer, an actor, a model, that would all go down the drain when they find out that we’re gay. So I rejected you, to protect your career. No, to protect our career.

But that wasn’t the case.

You never even thought of that reason, because if you did, you would have still been looking at me with the same eyes you did whenever you want to kiss me, right?

After my rejection, we acted normal and I was happy with that. There was a little distance, but I ignored it for now, because I know your hurting that we couldn’t be together. That we couldn’t be like one of those couples that flirts all the damn time and says ‘I love you’s’ every second of the day. Don’t worry, I am too. I understand, so take as much time as you need, because I know you still love me and I do too.

So tell me, Kyungsoo. The time that you haven’t spent with me, did you spend it with someone els