[Three years ago]

I have been waiting for this day to come. It is my birthday today and I know that I am finally ready to tell him what I feel. 

On my way to the school, I still asked myself if I would really confess my feelings already or if I should wait for more time before I accept his feelings and reciprocate it finally. But damn, I feel so much happy thinking that I could love him freely now. We will graduate soon from highschool, and I promised I would tell him my reply to his confession the moment I'm ready. He waited for three years patiently. He waited without pressuring me and now I am so happy to finally be able to tell him what I feel.

But then the day was about to end and he didn't come to school. I keep calling his phone but the call won't get through. Alot of people greeted me and gave me gifts for my birthday but everything seems to be pushed down a void. Without him, my day slowly turned into a nightmare.

Soon after our class has ended, I went to his apartment which was a few minutes away from our school if you ride a bike. When I arrived, everything that is his are gone. He left already and the only one who's there is his roommate. 

"He left. Wait, you didn't know?" Joochan said.

"I have no idea-- wait, how long have you known about this?" I asked.

"Well, I think something about his family came up and he was preparing for the past week. Today was his flight so he left early. He must be back home now, back in Japan." Joochan explained.

Everything he said after that dissolved in the deafening silence that envelopes my whole world now. I walk away from Joochan a little bit as I can't believe what this reality is.

He can't leave right now. Not when I am about to tell him how I feel. Not when I was just about to be able to reach him and show him how much he means to me.

Then suddenly, I felt a surge of energy. As if some small spark inside me got ignited that instant. I grabbed Joochan's hands and begged. "Did he left something? Anything at all? Can you contact him? I can't even call him. Where exactly did that guy went?" I have asked so mucg questions and all I got from Joochan was a stare full of sadness and disbelief. 

"I'm sorry. All I got was this note saying that today was flight. And a simple thanks for being his roommate for the past years." Joochan's voice was about to crack to. I'm so dumb to think that I'm the only one in pain when even Joochan didn't get a proper goodbye from his bestfriend.

"And. . .along with the note, was his phone. I think he left it on purpose, we all know that he is the most organized person un the world and that he will never forget to bring something as important as this." Joochan handed me the phone. "He didn't even charged the phone, so I guess that explains why you can't call him." 

I stared at the phone for a whole minute and felt like I'm melting in my own pool of sorrow. "Thank you." I said to Joochan then he wipes my tears that I didn't noticed to have flowed from my eyes. How long have I been crying? I lost track of everything already. I am a mess and he was the only one who helps me to declutter my life. And now he is gone and I never felt more lost than how I feel right now.

[PRESENT]
"Excuse me?" A man's voice said. "Uhm, are you okay?" His voice seems to have rescued me from a trance. I would never forget that face. The face that I longed for the past three years. Now he stands in front of me like nothing happened. His eyes that I unintentionally stare at in the past and his eyes that I missed so much and thought that I would never see again was staring at me with concern. But he was not there anymore. It is not the same anymore.

"Are you okay? You seem pale and shocked?" The man continued asking me and I seem to forget how to speak. This isn't real right? This is not how it is supposed to be. Does he not remember me?

"Jaeseok." I finally found my voice.