'oppa...!!' i call him with a cheerful voice, try to hide my guilty and sad feeling. i can't tell him now. i can't, because i know it will hurts him and hurts me, a lot. 'minso sis!!! hua.. i miss you!' he hugs me tighly right after he stand in front of me. 'oppa, why so happy? but well i miss you too' i hugs him back. i don't know what you call this feeling when you hugs someone you love with all my heart for the last time. but, i do feel that feeling and try to minimalize the face reaction that will be shown by my face. he chuckles and messes my hair, 'i miss you.. i miss to do this to you'. 'huh, my minso bro always like this. we just a part for.... 3 days and you become like this again. can you just treat me well' i act as cute as i can, even put my precious pouts at my face. 'hey, three days is too long for me. i missed you soooooooooo badly' he pinches my cheeck as he said that long 'soooooooo'. tell me, how can i let my self to say that words to him. i just can give him am eyesmile. i don't know what to do. i think i can't help my self now. that bad feeling just finally get.me and i feel like i can't control my self anymore. 'hey, what happened?' he panics as i suddenly hug him with my teary eyes. i just can shacke my head and continue to hug him even tighter. he blows my hair, tries to make me comfort and then gives me his lovely eyesmile. 'come on minso sis, you promised methat you always tell everything for me. i'm your brother, right?' i nod and try to look into his eyes, i know its hard but i should.. i mean i must say that. 'oppa, i will leave...' i finally just say that words. even i say that in a very soft voice, i know he listens what i say. he wides his eyes and look at my eyes even deeper. 'what? tell me that you are kidding me!' i shake my head, 'i'm not trying to kidding you. i'm saying a fact. i should leave oppa. i should leave this place.. i should leave you' 'but why?' i can see his teary eyes try to know what happened. 'i just have to do that' 'its not a reason that i want to hear. tell me the truth' now, i surely know that saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. 'oppa... please just understand me. i can't say the reason. i can't tell you why. but.. at least i want you to know that this is not what i want to do. i hate to leave but i must do it.' 'then don't leave. don't leave this place. don't leave me!' he hugs me.. the tightest hugging that i ever feel in my life. 'oppa...' what i can do is just crying. 'i never wanna let you go. you promised me before that you will never to say goodbye to me, you promised me that you'll stay for me' 'oppa, mianhae.. i should break my promise. you can hate me.. you can hate me forever.' i cry harder and he hugs me like a crazy person. he really can't let me go. 'oppa....' he finally let me go from his arms. 'you know.. you hurt me. a lot.' i try to explain but then i stop my self. i can't tell him.. 'i know..' 'and i know you also hurt your self. ah.. even i try my best to make you stay, i know i can't. you have your own decision.. i just can't belive this happen to us.' he tries his best to hold his tears. 'i'm happy that at least you say goodbye.' i hug him, as a final goodbye, as an only way to tell him that i love him, as an only way to say sorry, as an only way to heal his pain and my pain. 'i know.. even i should break my promise. i can't leave without saying goodbye to you. goodbye oppa...' 'take care my minso sis...' 'you too..' finally, i wave my hand and disappear. ****** 'tiiiiiiiiiitttttt' a long voice from the heartbeat detection device heared in my room. i see him, he wakes up and panicly check my breaths and my heart beats. he shocks and falls on his knees. he cries but then just can do nothing except kiss my cold forhead for the last time.