posted on july 7 2014

it was my second rp, and honestly, i was quite a noob back then. however, after going through some adjustments, i did fit in with the role play. i played sulli — i play her in every role play i've joined, honestly — and i was best friends with a girl (K) ; quite natural. so i had an ultimate bias on exo and he was there, too. (let's call him D) so, i talked to D.

but honestly, i thought of him as a friend at first. we talked and talked. he became my best friend in a matter of days — hard to admit, but i was growing distant with K by that point because of him. i thought of him as an idiot, tbh. but that was okay, because we were idiots together. however, every day was spent laughing & making jokes with each other. we made each other nicknames and we never parted from one another.

and i guess, about 3 weeks of our friendship, i developed feelings for him. i, being the one that's not too open with my feelings, stayed quiet and continued being friends with him. but i started noticing different things about him. how he was suddenly adorable in countless of ways, how nice he was, and how easily he could make me laugh. and it was extremely hard for me because i had no one to talk to about my feelings, not even a girl friend — again, K and i grew distant and barely talked. we were uncomfortable with each other now.

but in about the middle half of the 4th week i was in the roleplay, i met this girl (let's call her SH) and we immediately clicked. so of course i told her about my crush and she said that she shipped us which i was laughing about because “D + sulli would never happen.” but, she pushed it and i fangirled with her, i guess.

so we continued a few more days like that, the both of us spazzing, and D being a clueless . and then, one day, i guessed i kind of snapped? i was done being just a best friend to him an