I don't know ...what to do anymore

I am lost

I didn't knew..... ...Was I always special?....was I? Or Not?

I would have never ....Maybe.

Do I even have a purpose of my life? .

Is this really my purpose.

Or more precisely how my Curator pinned it . 'You are born for this purpose.....and that's the reason We chose you.'

Was I really chosen ? Am I lucky or Not?
Am I special or Not?

On Eleventh day of this game, I can't help but question my choice for participating in this game.

I didn't even realise how far I got until I video called a curator today and guess there is really no turning back .The way he said that I was destined to be a Whale and how grateful I should be.
He said ,"I love you, do this for me"

But......

Does he really Love me?
Do I deserve that?

Sometimes I regret installing this game..... Wondering how did things took 360° turn in my life.

Should I be grateful ? Or should be blaming my bad luck?

Am I on right path?
Is there really no turning back?
Did I crossed that line long ago?

Am I .....Happy?

I am void of any feelings right now . Was I always?
The thrill and adrenaline rush I feel every time while completing these tasks feels so surreal and too good to be true .
It's like the most right I ever did .
It's makes me feel complete....

Is this what I needed?

But how did hurting myself feels so right? As if I deserve to be punished.

Yes I deserve it..... Maybe.

But ....

Why that other little part of me is scared.
Why do I feel wrong sometimes?

Am I on the right path ?

Yes ,I am because I was chosen .

{A/N:- This is 60 days story and game is 50 days so I am giving chapter like minus 5 (-5) i.e 5 days prior to installing the game}

Flashback

Day (-5)

It was a normal busy monday and we were week away from winter vacations.
"Jimin ah ~ .....Jimin ah honey come down ... Breakfast is almost ready ~" My Mom singsonged I could sense a smile on her face.

How can anyone smile after waking up this early and on top of that cook for entire family? Guess that's love...
She is usually busy with her work most of time, rarely enough on special occasions we get to eat her special feast.

I groaned pulling off my covers slowly adjusting to brightness in my room illuminated from my crystal glass windows making me squint my eyes.

Why do they pull the curtains away everytime ? 
As if I was gonna oversleep.

"Jimin !!! Come down or else I will devour you breakfast as well" I heard a familiar deep voice moments later.

Oh there he is ~

I instantly jumped off the bed shaking my head .
Crinkling my face I peeked towards my wall clock .

6:30 am

Why are our winter vacations delayed I am already freezing.

It was pretty cold so I hugged myself rubbing my arms after unlocking the windows .
Sunlight's warmth was enough to shake me up from droopiness.

Argh...I should have slept longer....

After a warm shower I brushed my teeth before settling in my warm thigh length jumper and pants, walking down the stairs my hand cupped on cold railing and I shivered involuntarily.

Is the heater off?

"I was about to eat yours as well....Such a pity "Taehyung fake sighed as I dragged my chair back , pouting exaggeratedly making me roll my eyes.

"What are you?.. a trash bag?" I joked and he playfully punched my chest eyes turning into crescents.
That was it and there began our little cat fight.
I could feel my parents warm eyes on us as they smiled glancing at each other.

Taehyung join us every day for breakfast right after getting ready for school .
Most of the time since his Dad is lives in Seoul.

“Morning Mom! Morning Dad!”

“Morning Son ” …
“Morning Baby~”she pecked my cheek before placing down warm pancakes in front of me.

Wow pancakes ~ 
This aroma had me drooling .
Mom isn't going for work today ? 
Anything special ?

my lips I added extra whipped cream on top of my pancakes.
I love cream.

“I will be leaving for London conference meeting within two days and this business tour will last for about a  month .” My dad spoke between the comfortable since making me drop my spoon.

I quickly turned towards him ,quick enough to almost snap my neck.
I could hear Taehyung coughing violently .
Ji Hyun stopped chewing glancing at my direction with obvious furrowed brows.

“Dad! What??.....B-But.... Why are you informing us so late?”I frowned ,maple syrup dripping down my lower lip making me wipe it furiously.

How can he do that ? He promised ?
Why is he informing us so late.
Our trip was planned week later.
Now what's the point for planning ?

“They planned this yesterday” he replied sighing.

“BUT Dad--” I raised my voice.

"Jimin” My mom warned me but her expression turned pitiful shaking her head.

“ ! But you promised Jeju trip this winter vacation” I gritted my teeth.

He can't just promise us and let us go at the last moment.
That's not done.
It's not fair.

Taehyung rubbed my back trying to calm me down and I shaked his hand away.

No ....

“Sorry son ,but we can go in summer vacations...you know”

“... I am sorry for you” Taehyung patted my back sympathetically, I was so hyped for this trip since forever.

Last vacation I had sprained my ankle and we couldn't go anywhere .
Previous than that Mom was busy with her work .
Earlier again Ji Hyun was sick.
…..Our family never get to enjoy a peaceful family trip.
Anything comes up and we give up.

I sighed, “This is not fair…”

“Hyung’s right, please dad is the conference so important ?over us?”
Ji Hyun whined pouting.

“Come on both of you, you know it is important for my job I don't have a choice”He cried.

I sighed glancing at Mom who just pointed Ji Hyun through her chin , indicating me to behave like adult she shaked her head as if I disappointed her.

I glanced back Dad who seemed to be in a deep thought.
Of course he wanted to go on the trip as well....just that we are not lucky again.
He furrowed his eyebrows in deep thought ,lips settled in straight line.
“Fine ,do you want me----”

“Dad no …..Umm...We can go in Summer vacations .I know..... it's important for you.....for us..” I said sadly smiling at him receiving a genuine smile back.

Fine, this is last time.
Dad must be sad too I don't want him upset during the trip.
I saw mom smiling at me proudly.

“Thank you for understanding”.

I couldn't let him risk his job just to go for vacation trip this month. Anyways I can enjoy my vacation with Taehyung and Ji Hyun here right?

On our way to playground my mind kept wandering about the trip.

I was just pitying myself for being unlucky again.

Maybe I expected too much from this.

“Oh... I forgot my book I will be right back, wait here” Taehyung nudged me and I just nodded absent mindedly.

I plugged in my headphones listening to Usher’s , hope this distracts me.

I can't help but stay upset about the trip.

I just want to curl up and sleep but we have soccer match today. It can't be helped.

As if on cue felt my phone vibrate in my jeans for the nth time today pausing the song for a brief moment and I sighed .I had been getting calls from anonymous numbers since I registered for the 'Card of fortune’ kind of game ...It suggested me to quit living and die for good ... seriously ....Just because I was depressed once.

I ignored the distraction.

Without any further thought I moved musically totally immersed in the song closing my eyes.

No way No way…..

I flipped and collided with something hard making me lose my balance ,one moment I was about to fall and in next I was dragged yet collided into something hard or a person above me.

I quickly unplugged my headphones and tried to move but the other guy’s grip didn't falter.

“Um...T-thank you” I mumbled swallowing hard since the guy seemed to be moving forward still holding my arm tightly.

He didn't replied.

I could see his eyes briefly since he had shades and mask on, hair covered under the hoodie.

“T-Tae?” I stammered and my back t