Mir woke up, his tired eyes peeled opened heavily. He was almost compelled to shut his eyes again and go back to sleep, go back to his sweet dream since awakening is nothing but a nightmare nowadays but his brain decided he had more than enough sleep already. It didn't matter how much he tossed and his bed, how deep he tried to bury his face into the pillow, how far he stretched up his stiff limbs and curved his back, sleep had far long left him to yet once again struggle in real world.
    With a heavy sigh, with the weight of the world itself, Mir rolled out of his bed, standing with a hunched back and he longingly stared at his unmade bed before dragging his equally heavy legs towards the bathroom.
    Even after a long half an hour shower, he still didn't feel refreshed. Instead, the moment he stepped out of the bathroom, the weight sitting over him pressing him down until he fear he would get buried deep down in the centre of the earth became even heavier it almost made him crawled but to his own amazement, he was still able to walk. Despite him feeling how slow the motion around him and himself, he still moved.
    Slipping a simple comfortable dark navy sweater with a turtle neck and black jeans, he stared into the mirror. He remembered he used to smile while gazing at his own image, proud of his blessed good looks, proud of his confidence, proud at the beam of happiness so freaking obvious in his gummy smile that always shone on his face.
    Where had all those gone to?
    It all just disappeared over time.
    A ring of his phone brought him out of his spacing out. He walked towards his abandoned phone, clicking his tongue realizing he had forgotten to charge up the battery of his phone, he plugged phone to the charger before reading the new incoming text.
Byunghee :
Are you coming today?
    Mir let out another sigh. What a way to start his morning, he thought.
Cheolyong :
Yea
Byunghee :
Is something wrong?
    Has anything ever been right these days?
Cheolyong :
Nothing
Byunghee :
Then what's with such short reply? So unlike you.
Cheolyong :
See you there
Byunghee :
Cheolyong..
Are you mad at me?
    Another sigh escaped Mir's lips. He typed in his reply. No, just hurt. But just a second after, he deleted them. He didn't want GO to misunderstand. Knowing GO, the older male would blame himself for everything.
    It was no one's fault.
    It was not even his own fault.
    It was simply the time for him to wake up.
Cheolyong :
We'll talk later..
    After having his breakfast, simply jam spread over a toast and a cup of warm herbal tea, Mir snatched his car keys and wallet, leaving his phone that was still plugged on the charger and went to his car.
    It was a short drive down to Ulsan from his rented apartment which the contract would end by next week. And he didn't intend to renew the liaison. The apartment was everything he wanted before but not anymore. So, he chose to let go.
    Just like what he was about to do to MBLAQ.
    Letting go.
    Mir parked right next to a black slick car, his mind instantly recognizing the plate number of the car belong to Seungho. He made his way through the cold breeze of early autumn morning and towards an old antique restaurant with attractive vintage theme inside and outside. It was just a small store with only five four-seats-table inside and another five outside just next to the small road with a red and yellow extended canopy roof to shade those tables from glaring sun.
    Mir liked to sit outside for those little visits he made to this store yet today, he strode right into the store.
    They are waiting inside.
    In such small space of the restaurant, Mir saw immediately the third table to his right filled in by two gentlemen he knew so well sometimes it kind of scared himself.
    "Hello, hyung." Mir greeted politely with a small smile and took a seat next to Seungho, facing GO. Yet Mir couldn't bring his eyes to meet any of those two soft-looking orbs. Mir scanned the menu strategically placed under a plastic cover over the table and raised his hand to make his order seeing as both Seungho and GO got their empty plates and half finished drink in front of them. "I'd like some warm latte." Mir said with a smile to the teenage waitress whom nodded obediently.
    "Cheolyong.." Seungho started, sound a bit hesitant, unlike his usual confident aura that would push everything in his way aside and saunter to his destination. "It has been 6 months.. Why aren't you doing anything?"
    Mir leaned back on his seat, staring on his hands, fingers playing with each other. "Who said I have done nothing? I worked. Quite diligently if I had to say." A nervous smile crept upon his face, totally contradicting his playful tone.
    "You know what he meant, Cheolyong-ah." This time, it was GO, peering with a look of concern painting all over his face. "Is this... My fault?"
    At that sad, hurt voice, Mir lift his gaze to meet GO's. "No." He answered flatly. "No, hyung."
    "Then, Cheolyong, what exactly are you planning to do?"
    "I just.." Mir trailed off as his warm latte arrived. He nodded a silent thanks to the waitress and took a sip, feeling the warmth accumulate at the centre of his chest before it spread all over his tense body, giving him a sense of peace. "I have made my decision."
    "What decision?" Seungho raised an inquiring brow.
    "I want to stop dreaming."
    "Cheolyong.."
    "No, Byunghee hyung. It's not because of you. Not because of anyone else." Mir's slowed down, two names jumping inside his mouth but he won't mention them. He don't want to. Maybe not yet. "It is for myself."
    "Cheolyong-"
    "Seungho hyung. I'm glad you found your path. I hope your new company will always treat you well and you, Byunghee hyung. I am so happy for you. I'm so happy you found your happiness." Mir spoke calmly, taking another sips. "And now it is about time for me to trail down my own path."
    "And by that, you mean...?" Seungho left the question hanging.
    "I want to stop threading the current path or should I say I have already stopped long ago, I just never had the courage to make it formal because I always float at the junction, unable to make decision." Mir leaned forward, both his cold hands cupping his warm latte. "But now I can. I have spend more than 2 years thinking of letting go. MBLAQ had been the sweetest dream I have ever had and that had been why I was so indecisive. But dream can last only for so long." Mir bit his bottom lip when he felt it trembled. He blinked his eyes, unwilling for tears to fall. At least not in front of his two hyungs. Feeling a comforting hand belong to Seungho patting his back, rubbing a small circle, he carved another smile on his lips, taking a deep breath before he continued. "Both of you. Even Changsun hyung and Sanghyun hyung." His voice cracked slightly at the two names that finally taste bitter on the tips of his tongue. "All of you have been such a beautiful dream to me. MBLAQ.. A+.. I have loved all of those, so much, I forgot, reality would always be waiting for me at the end of the road and when it finally hit me, it hit me hard, I became useless for a long period of time. I no longer know which is real which is not."
    "MBLAQ is real, Cheolyong." GO whispered in hurt tone.
    "MBLAQ is my dream, hyung." Mir admitted easily. "MBLAQ had made me so happy that I am grateful to everyone but I have decided, dream won't last that long. The longer I linger, the pain left when I woke up will only worsen." Mir smiled. "Two years. Two years I tried to live on reality. Two years I became a simple ordinary man named Bang Cheolyong and it hurts. It hurts to think I might be forgotten, to think I would be left so far behind I couldn't catch up anymore. But then I realized, I was still moving. The world around me is moving. I don't have to catch up to anything. I can walk my own pace and now I have the peace in me. When we dream, hyung, we have to wake up and I think it is time for me to wake up."
    "But, Cheolyong, MBLAQ had been our dream. Your ambition. Why would you just let go?" Seungho hissed.
    "True, Cheolyong. I still want to work with you, Cheolyong. I know I said I want to quit but that didn't mean I want to leave MBLAQ. I still want to keep MBLAQ alive. Because MBLAQ is important to me, so does you and Seungho." GO added.
    "Then please do, hyung. For me, though, it end here. It end today." Mir spoke firmly. "I want to search for a new dream. I believe the journey will be as thrilling, as sad and as happy, as exciting and as hard as we had before we finally become MBLAQ. I will treasure those memories but it is time to let go and move on."
    Staring at the still half-filled cup, Mir knew the drink was cold already so he stop drinking and let go of the cup, standing up slowly. He made a deep bow of gratefulness to both the older male. "I'm so thankful for both of you for always being there for me." When Mir looked up again, he saw the gloom over both of his hyungs. He felt guilty for making them two sad. But he didn't want to turn back.
    "What are you planning to do from now on?" Seungho asked quietly.
    Mir shrugged with a humorous-filled smile, "Who knows."

    "You speak as if you would leave to a far place." GO mumbled sadly to which Mir didn't answer.
    "Will we see you again?"
    Mir shrugged again. "Maybe someday in some part of this vast world."
    GO stood up, his eyes trained over Mir. "We will. If you disappeared, I'll trace after you even if it meant to the end of the world."
    "Then, I will wait for you there." Mir chuckled.
    "Cheolyong. Whatever you are searching for, I hope you will find it." Seungho stated sincerely.
    Mir nodded once. "I hope so and who knows maybe whatever I was searching for had been here all along. This world is round. No matter how far I walk, the end would always be the starting point."
    "That is true." GO spotted a smile on his face and hugged Mir. "Come back to us sometimes. We will always be here."
    Seungho took his turn and embraced the maknae gently. "Don't take too long. I'm too old to wait."
    Mir laughed, pulling away from the hug and bowed lightly once again. "Goodbye Seungho hyung. Goodbye Byunghee hyung."
    "See you soon."
    "Humm... See you soon. I guess..." Mir turned and walked briskly out of the cafe and into his car. He didn't wait and revved the engine, driving into the road, speeding down to his destination. He glanced through the rearview mirror and saw a large backpack lying abandoned at the back seat and just next to it, flutter a piece of paper. 
    A ticket to Europe.
    His new journey would be hard, without two firm support by his side, without two definite strength by his side, without half of his heart, without Seungho and GO. But he knew it would be worth it.
    A drop of tear finally trailed down his cheeks and Mir let his lips twitched into a sad smile.
    Letting go hurt him a lot.
    Moving on hurt him even more.
    But in the end, it was the life he had to face.
    It was reality he had to face.
    Dream can last only for so long.
    In the end, he had to wake up.
    So he did..