Junhoe tossed and turned in his bed not being able to sleep.

 

Ah I hate sleeping. The nightmare might come again.

 

He suddenly felt cold. Is it actually this cold or was it something else?  He grips his sheets and feels scared. I feel so pathetic.

 

He glanced at his clock. 11:11 am.

 

He took a deep breath and slowly closed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

The nightmare always starts with him walking around in fog not being aware of what surrounded him. But It felt different now. There was an ominous feeling. He clutches his heart. Something was about to happen, he could feel it. It was still foggy and he was blindly reaching his arm out while trying to figure out where to go. He notices the silhouette of a figure up ahead.

 

“Hey!”

 

The figure turns around.

 

He looks familiar. He walks closer and the figure makes no movement. The fog starts to clear and he is shocked.

 

“Jinhwan?”

 

Jinhwan again makes no motion and sadly stares at him.

 

“Jinhwan, does you know what’s happening? He steps closer. “I’ve been wandering around and there’s nothing.”

 

“It’s your fault”

 

Junhoe is confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“Don’t come closer, you monster!” Jinhwan starts to slowly back away. He is a few steps away from falling off the cliff. Jinhwan turns and looks down at the cliff.

 

“Jinhwan okay its my fault, let’s talk this out.”

 

Junhoe still had no idea what Jinhwan was referring to, but hopefully this will make him talk. He steps closer, almost near him.

 

“You will never understand.” Jinhwan steps backwards and he is now one step away from falling.

 

“No Jinhwa-

 

Jinhwan smiles softly and is gone.

 

* * *

 

Junhoe opens his eyes quickly and sits up. He glances at the clock.

 

7:15 am

 

He clutches his heart. What was that? He is sweating and slowly gulps for air. The sheets are a tangled mess around. He grabs his head trying to shake the fear away.

 

Suddenly a figure opens his door.

 

“Junhoe is it that nightmare again?"

 

Damn it. Hanbin sits on his bed and carefully looks at him.

 

“Is it that nightmare again?” Hanbin asks again worriedly. “ I heard you screaming so I am assuming it’s that.

 

Junhoe ruffles his hair. “Yea. Sorry. You guys must be annoyed at me”

 

Hanbin smiles and shakes his head. “No. We are worried. We told the doctor that you have been getting better, but I guess there hasn’t been much progress.”

 

Junhoe has been on medication now for a while now because of his nightmares. He didn't mean to bother the members.

 

Another figure enters him room.

 

“Yo Junhoe. How are you feeling? Yunhyeong asks while carrying a tray with water and some pills.

 

“Open” Yunhyeong signals Junhoe to open his mouth.

 

Junhoe scoffs and swipes his hand retrieving the pill. He swallows it and sips the glass of water.

 

“I can take the medication myself Yunhyeong.”

 

“Ok ok. I was just trying to help my poor little member.”

 

Me little? “Whatever. When is Jinhwan coming back?” Junhoe has to make sure Jinhwan was alright. His nightmare felt too realistic. It’s been several weeks now since he went to visit his family in Jeju Island.

 

Hanbin rolls his eyes. “I told you that he’s coming back soon. Don’t worry.”

 

“I-I was just asking because he promised to bring me a souvenir.”

 

It was Yunhyeong turn to roll his eyes. “ Sureeee”

 

Junhoe starts to feel dizzy. I’m feeling sleepy again.

 

“Okay me and Yunhyeong will leave to alone. Breakfast will be ready in 30 minutes.”

 

Yunhyeong and Hanbin exit and are whispering to each other.

 

"Do you think he will get better soon?" Yunhyeong asked softly. He had a hopeful gaze.

 

"I hope so. I hate seeing him suffer so much and the doctor told us to act the same. Anything strange can trigger him" Hanbin replied. His expression was stoic.

 

* * *

 

Junhoe contemplated on whether to get up or sleep more. Ah whatever. He gets up, takes a quick ten minute shower and changes. He is wearing a simple navy shirt with gray sweats and slowly walks to the kitchen drying his hair with his white towel. It was Chanwoo turn to make breakfast and it was amusing seeing him wear a pink apron. Stacks of pancakes were on the table with a bottle of honey next to it. Plates, forks, and napkins were set up for six people. Hanbin is quietly talking with Yunhyeong. Bobby was devouring all the pancakes making Chanwoo exasperated. Donghyuk just silently ate his pancakes.

 

“Good Morning ugly people.” Junhoe says and he sits down. He reaches for a pancake and is smacked by a spatula.

 

“Well this ugly person won’t let you have any. You don’t deserve these delicious pancakes you arrogant prick.” Chanwoo states as he passes pancakes to the rest of the members.

 

“YA. I am older than you! Ge says as he smacks Chanwoo with the towel.

 

“I don’t care. Be nice and I will give you some.

 

“Fine. Chanwoo you are truly amazing and really handsome.”

 

“That’s right.” Chanwoo smirks and sit down.

 

“Who’s turn is it to cook tomorrow?” Junhoe glares at Bobby.

 

All members rotate everyday and Junhoe was not looking forward to his turn. Let’s just say the dorm almost became extinct.    

 

“Nooo it’s Junhoe turn right? He cooks really bad!

 

He now glares at Donghyuk. I was wrong to think he was an angel.

 

“Anyway let’s hurry and go to practice. We don’t know when we will make a comeback.

 

Being on hiatus almost two years has not been fun. They all being growing anxious.

 

“Hopefully Jinhwan comes back in a few days. He has missed a lot of practice.” Junhoe states out loud.

 

The atmosphere grew a bit tense and everyone just ate the rest of their food in silence. Bobby broke the silence with his coughing. He was choking since he was still eating his pancakes too quickly. Chanwoo quickly got up and pounded his back. Bobby muttered, "Thanks".  Bobby then had a look on his face like he wanted to say something. After a few minutes, he finally spoke up.

 

"So Junhoe I heard that you were screaming. Are you alright?".

 

Junhoe liked this side of Bobby, but he would never admit it. He was goofy, messy, but he never made fun of his nightmares. Bobby looked deeply concerned.

 

“Yeah I am.”

 

“That’s good. We are here if you need anything bro.”

 

* * *

 

My back itches. Junhoe flaps his shirt and is tired. It’s 3 am and he is heading back to the dorm. The rest of s follow him from behind. Once they are inside all types of groans are heard.

 

“I think I hurt my leg”

 

“Bobby some ice on it. We can’t have you injured.”

 

“Yeah listen to Hanbin and get me an ice pack too!”

 

“Get yourself one Chanwoo!”

 

“You are closer!”

 

“Get me a water bottle Bobby!”

 

“Not you too Donghyuk!”

 

Junhoe smiles as he witnesses s laziness. He doesn't blame them though. He is also tired. Hope Jinhwan comes soon. He wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but he misses his Jinhwan terribly. He isn’t afraid to claim him as his own. He misses his adorable eye smile. He always laughs at his jokes and is always taking care of him. He listens when he has problems and loves to snuggle next to his small figure. Hurry up hyung. Maybe I should of been nicer to him, but he’s so cute when he’s angry. I should really stop. I sound so cheesy. But when Jinhwan comes back, I will confess my love. I don’t care if YG and Korea don’t accept us. I love him so much.

 

He is suddenly craving for some ice cream. He goes to his room and grabs clothes to shower. Thankfully Yunhyeong already finished his shower. He takes about ten minutes and is ready for his little trip

 

"Hey you guys, I am heading out for some ice cream"

 

He grabs his wallet and phone. He then starts to put on his shoes at the entrance and was ready to head out, but a hand gripped his shoulder.

 

"Junhoe don't go. We have other sweets here."

 

He turned and saw Yunhyeong with an unreadable expression.

 

Junhoe rolls his eyes. "Last time I ate one of Hanbin’s choco cones, he bit me! Look I still have the mark. He rolls his sleeve and shows him.

 

Yunhyeong sighs and replies, "Fine, but i'll go with you."

 

* * *

"We should've brought an umbrella” Yunhyeong states as he looks up at the sky. The clouds are gray and there is high chance of rain

 

Junhoe nods.”I forgot that it was going to rain today.”

 

"I think we should go back to the dorm," Yunhyeong says worriedly.

 

This time Junhoe shakes his head. "I really want some ice cream."

.

They enter Ikonic Ice Cream Shop and a person greets them with a quick "hello". They bow and they go sit down. A waiter soon came and asked what they would like. Junhoe ordered triple vanilla with bits of chocolate and Yunhyeong orders strawberry.

 

The waiter says their order will be soon done and was about to leave, but he exclaims, "Yunhyeong hyung! Junhoe!"

 

Yunhyeong and Junhoe looks at him weirdly, but he then they realized who it was.

 

"Jinhyeong!" Yunhyeong exclaims first and he grabbed him for a hug. "How you been?".

 

Then Junhoe just fists bumps him. "Yeah, Jinhyeong hyung how you been?"

 

"I been pretty fine, but how about you guys? I don’t know how you guys have kept it in, but time heals everything.”

 

Junhoe looks at him confused and Yunhyeong looks scared.

 

“Umm yeah. Well we will be going Jinhyeong! We will visit soon!” Yunhyeong gets and grabs Junhoe.

 

Junhoe pulls back. “What do you mean Jinhyeong?”

 

It was Jinhyeong turn to be confused.“You know the accident? I’ve heard that you haven't had your comeback because of it.”

 

Junhoe starts laughing. "I think you're mistaken Jinhyeong. There has been no accident revolving us and we haven't been able to make a comeback because we haven't created good songs for the fans yet.

 

Jinhyeong looks shocked and turns to Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong was also shocked and can't seem to find his voice.

 

Jinhyeong replies, “Are you okay Junhoe? Jinhwan passed away when-

 

Yunhyeong suddenly stands up raging and knocks down the table. People around him scream and Jinhyeong stops talking. Before he can do anything Yunhyeong  grabs Junhoe and pulls him out of the shop. Junhoe looked at him shocked. Yunhyeong has never ever in his life been so angry.

 

"Yunhyeong hyung. Let go of my arm. It hurts and explain to me what was that at the shop?!

 

Yunhyeong releases the tight grip he didn't know he was causing and he turns to Junhoe. He thought Junhoe would be angry or ashamed. Instead he saw a confused face with fearful eyes. It started drizzle and suddenly it started to rain hard. Junhoe could see his hyung started to shake and suddenly he was pulled into an embrace.

 

"I am so sorry Junhoe. So sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yunhyeong was sobbing and holding onto Junhoe. Junhoe didn't really know what to do. He just kept on hugging Yunhyeong.

 

"Hyung," he whispered in his ear "Please tell me what's going on." It was rare for him to call anyone in his team hyung since they decided to drop formalities.

 

Yunhyeong finally stops sobbing for a bit. He wipes his face because of the rain and his tears.

 

"I can't do this Junhoe. I just can't. Everytime the truth is out, the same thing occurs again.”

 

Everytime? what does that mean. "Hyung please just explain. I don't get you. Both don't seem to notice the rain anymore. Junhoe was only focused on Yunhyeong.

 

Yunhyeong takes a deep breath and looks at Junhoe with terribly sad eyes. "Okay Junhoe I will say it. You been having these terrible nightmares for almost two years because of Jinhwan. Jinhwan went on a trip to Jeju Island and on the plane he boarded there was something wrong with engine. That caused the plane to crash and it fell in the sea. There was no survivors. You were blaming yourself over and over again. Then it was all over the news and media. Then, then-

 

Yunhyeong looked like he was going to break down again.

 

"Then you started to hallucinate. You imagined him there all the time and it broke our hearts so much. The doctor told us to give you some special pills and that we needed to act normal. Anything strange could trigger headaches.

 

Junhoe was lost. He couldn't formulate his thoughts or say anything. He suddenly started to clutch his head.

 

“It hurts,it hurts! No, No it can't be true!"

 

"Please! Junhoe calm down. I-I thought that the medication would help. That you would forget Jinhwan and the pain."

 

Junhoe widened his eyes. "So the medicine wasn't for the nightmares actually? It was to forget Jinhwan?

 

"No! NO! You are misunderstanding this. It is for your sake. I, We, all the members don't want to see you in pain. Its for your-

 

"I don't want to hear your excuses! How do I know that you actually tried before to tell me this?! Why don't I recall it? Huh?! Jinhwan is alive. I am not crazy! Junhoe yelled.

 

"No Junhoe listen plea-. All of the sudden Junhoe collapsed. Yunhyeong caught him before hitting his head in the concrete. It was still raining hard with Yunhyeong holding him.

 

* * *

  

"W-where am I?" Junhoe said as he looked around.

 

All walls were white and he was connected to a machine. He could hear a bunch of noises around him. I am at the hospital? Why I am here?

 

The door opens.

 

I am so relieved."Jinhwan you are back! Why am I in the hospital?"

 

Junhoe heard a soft whisper “Sleep now.”

 

Five voices were heard in the background pleading for him to come back.

 

Time. 11:11 am.