Donghyun was in the practice room again, after he had been at home some days.  He couldn’t stay in Daejeon anymore. His parents and his twin brother, Taehyun only talked about him. Why didn’t Rhymer let Brand New Boys debut? Why did he send them to Produce 101 Season 2? What would happen to DongDong and Youngmin after they hadn’t got into Wanna One? It made him angry and sad at the same time.  In the past two years, he tried to prove his family, he wasn’t a fool and his dream about idol life wasn’t silliness as his parents had thought at first. They had wanted him to be  a businessman as his father. Finally they started to believe him slowly as they seen him working hard, but it looked their faith broke after the happenings. Only his elder sister supported him. She tried to cheer him up as always. „You know what they like. They can’t believe things only when it’s in front of their eyes. Don’t take to your heart! I’m sure you are going to be a real artist one day.  Just keep working hard. My little brother has everything he needs to be successful. Look at your handsome faceee.....” she said playfully grabbing Donghyun’s cheeks. „Smile! You are more handsome like this.” she forced him to smile. „Noonaaaa!......” he tried to fight back. He preteneded to be sulky, but he couldn’t help laughing at the end. He loved his sister so much. She always knew how she could make him happy.

         Despite his noona kind behave, he couldn’t just sit at home, watching movies on  blankets were thrown on the floor. He needed to do something. The truth was, he was sad when he had to leave the show, but he was even sadder because of Youngmin hyung’s elimination. How could they leave such a talented boy out of Wanna One. He had more characteristic than he needed to be a succesful idol. Fantastic rapping skill ✅ dance skill✅ handsomeness ✅ god zero/ walking ✅ cute alpaca-like face ✅ aegyo ✅ nice behavior ✅ 

        The younger loved his hyung’s kind eyes the most, they made his owner so lovely. Sometimes while they was talking, and Youngmin was just staring at him without any thoughts, he looked so cute. At first Donghyun glanced at him occasionally, in time he began to realize that he looked at him more and more. At the end he couldn’t take his eyes off him. Watching back Produce 101, it was so obvious he stared at his hyung in some scenes. He wanted to delete them that his Alpaca couldn’t see them. 

        He’d had girlfriends in the past, but he never felt this way before. There wasn’t a specific moment when he just knew. It was sort of happens. It was like that person was there, he had always been there, but he started noticing little details about him – the way he laughed when he was thinking something funny, how he looked in the morning when he was tired because of practice, the small noises he made when he felt comfortable or slept – all of these things he had been doing for months, the older didn’t even realize he did anymore, but were completely unique and new to Donghyun. He started loving stuffs he didn’t like before and felt his heart skipped a beat whenever Youngmin got too near to him. It all built up and built up and then Donghyun had no choice but to blurt out  “I LOVE HIM!”  

        When they were in Produce 101 was the worst of time. Seeing Youngmin with other guys - mainly with Sewoon - he felt jealous. He hated as his hyung smiled at them. Donghyun almost went crazy, but he was obliged to smile. However, he also liked the other trainees, he could have hit them when they his hyung’s knee or hugged him.

         It was childlike, but he felt guilty. Maybe his hyung didn’t get into Wanna One, because he thought about such mean things. That green-eyed monster made him evil. Still, how could he feel a little pleasure in his heart.  Just the thought of being with Youngmin again, like they had been before the show, made him happy. He hated himself. Maybe his hyung was crying in his room at that moment while he was enjoying his pain. „I should have bought a little popcorn.” He said sardonically, feeling terribly. 

        Thinking he was the worst dongsaeng in the world, he burst out crying bitterly. He flopped down onto the floor and curled himself up. He didn’t know how many time passed while he was in that state when all at once having noticed a familiar voice near his ear and warm arms around his body. „I’m here...with you...” as the younger recognized the owner of  that deep voice he started crying even more. He grabbed the other and hugged him as tight as he could. 

Recommended songs : Eric Nam – Stop the rain, Eric Nam – Hold me, I.O.I – Downpour, Ailee - Because it's love