Orange is supposed to be a happy color. A vibrant, beautiful color that brings warmth and comfort to the heart. Orange is a color of summer and fall, of sunset and sunrise. Orange is a color of tangy sweetness, and juicy goodness. Orange is a happy color.

Changkyun's life was anything but happy.

 

Im Changkyun couldn't see the color orange, but he could feel it. He felt warmth flow in his bones every time he touched anything orange, and satisfaction when his eyes settled on it. He'd once felt fresh sweetness when biting into the flesh of a juicy orange, and peace when the sun descended. He loves sunsets, sunrises, and oranges. He loved how the sky produced hues of scarlett, with a subtle yellow bleeding into orange. He could see the yellow and the red, he could see everything... except for his favorite color. Because that's how it was, until you met your soulmate.

 

Changkyun didn't care much for soulmates. He could feel the color, and he was mostly content with just that. But orange is suppose for be a happy color. The people whose favorite color is orange are often the happiest, even if they cannot see it. But Changkyun had no happiness in his life for too long.

 

He was walking home from class one day, with eyes filled to the brim with tears because a year ago today, his mother died. A year ago today, he felt what it means to truly be alone in a world so wide. A sweet spring rain was falling, but to Changkyun, the sky was mocking him.

 

There was still an hour until sunset, which gave him just enough time to visit his mom. Every day he'd watch dusk and dawn show themselves on the horizon of the beach. It had become ritual since his mom passed, because it was the one place he felt her presence.

They would eat their favorite fruits while watching the sun fall into the ocean. Changkyun always ate oranges, and his mother always had pineapple. He hadn't eaten an orange since she died.

He stood at the foot of his mother's grave, drenched because he had no umbrella. His charcoal hair clung to his forehead, and his tears were mixed with cold raindrops. He always brought her yellow tulips, because those were her favorite.

 

Yellow was her favorite color.

 

Yellow was her favorite color, and she was always happy. Always smiling and full of energy. When she left the world, Changkyun felt as if his smile had been snatched away from him.

 

He felt no reason to be happy. As a child, he's always been skeptical of the soulmate system, because it never made sense. He'd been a skeptic of happiness, because only his mother ever made him feel so. Some would say that he never felt happiness, despite having orange as his color, because his mother never met her soulmate. Some say it's because he's the result of a 'mistake', but his mother always believed he was a miracle. A miracle born during the brightest, most vibrant of winter sunsets she'd ever seen.

 

He was about to leave the graveyard, when he saw someone crouched over under an umbrella a few yards away, speaking to himself. It was a man with brown hair and a smile even more beautiful than the sunsets and sunrises. He held a overflowing bouquet of assorted orange flowers, from the California Poppy, to the English Marigold, and everything in between. He was muttering softly, as Changkyun approached him, feeling drawn to him by something invisible.

 

"Appa... I brought you flowers from our garden. They're all bloomed now. The fruit trees are also growing to be beautiful. I'm sending you these flowers... I hope they're treating you well up there" The man didn't have a single hint of sadness in his voice, which irked Changkyun.

His voice remained sweet and smooth, and a smile never faded from his lips. "I planted another cherry blossom today... now the first one will have a friend when it grows"

 

"That's stupid"

He turned abruptly, slightly startled at the soothingly deep voice that came from somewhere behind him, and was slightly confused upon seeing Changkyun.

 

"I-I'm sorry?"

"How can trees be friends... that's just stupid" Changkyun questioned with a straight face.

"Trees have feelings too. They deserve friends just like any other creature does" the guy said, with a soft, genuine smile.

"That... doesn't make sense, but whatever"

"It makes perfect sense. When people are with friends, they feel happy. It's the same for plants"

Changkyun could feel the sincerity and the passion in this strangers voice, and it made him hate life even more. He could feel the warmth from the flowers the man had placed on the gravestone, but all he saw were black blotches. He yearned to see them.

 

"Well, I'm sorry but I don't believe in happiness or friends. Enjoy your plants" he felt the warmth from the orange flowers fade as he walked away from him. He didn't want to leave, but he hated people.

 

He felt bad for being so cold, but that was the only way he knew how. That was his go-to method for dealing with people, because it meant they would leave you alone. And alone was his only friend.

 

He was thankful that it stopped raining, making his tread to the beach a lot easier. He sat at his usual spot by a large rock, taking in the rhythmic sound as waves crashed on land. He could hear birds in sing song nearby, while his lungs filled with the salty fresh air.

He closed his eyes, only to find that radiant smile flashing before his eyes. He honestly wasn't sure why he'd approached him. He felt as if something invisible attracted him to this guy.

Changkyun repeated his words constantly, finding them both annoying and innocent. Perhaps he felt a tinge of jealousy, that even plants felt happiness when he couldn't

 

"Can plants feel happiness... mom?"

He sighed heavily, tasting the salty dew of the ocean on his tongue, "this strange guy says they can... that they can be friends. How can plants be friends when there's humans with no friends"

 

His tired gaze softened as the sunset continued it's journey. He saw the reds and the yellows spilling onto the ocean, undulating with the waves. He saw the darkened blues and purples that kissed the sky ever so gently, yet he still couldn't see orange. He still couldn't feel happiness.

 

That night, Changkyun got home feeling lightheaded and sick. He took a warm shower in the old bathroom of his rental, and ate a cold meal from a few days ago. He slept feeling weary and alone in his single bed which creaked too loudly with every movement. He ate on a table that was splintered and falling apart. To him, there was no reason to feel happy. No reason to cherish a pathetic life.

 

He woke up at 4:30am to watch the sunrise. He grabbed a coat and a piece of bread, and made his way to the beach. The ten minute walk at the crack of dawn was always surreal for him. Everything was so quiet, yet so right. There were no people. There were no cars. It was dark, and he didn't have to see the void of anything orange.

 

As he neared his destination, he could see a faint silhouette of another person. For years he had been going to the beach, and never once was he met with another soul at this time, especially not where he made refuge.

 

Changkyun wanted to walk away, he really did. He wanted to just find another spot, but he couldn't pry his eyes off the image as he inched closer. He spoke without thinking, and cursed himself mentally.

 

"You're standing in my spot"

The figure turned around, a surprised look on his darkened face. Even in the minimal light, he recognized those eyes and that milky skin immedietly. He smiled sheepishly, and Changkyun noticed the wetness in his eyes as the sun started to ascend.

"I'm... sorry. I didn't see anyone here, so..."

"Well I'm here now, and that's my spot", guilt built inside Changkyun for being so cold towards someone who looks on the verge of shattering.

"It's a beautiful spot"

Changkyun stared at him, noting a little more every time the sun brought more light. All he could do was give a wry smile, but the man noticed it, and smiled back angelically.

 

"I'm sorry, I'll stop bothering you"

He blinked a few times, taken aback by this strangers genuine sincerity, "N-no... It's fine. I'm just not good with people.."

 

Changkyun wanted his heart to calm down, but between that perfect smile and the overwhelming feelings from the orange he couldn't see, he was vulnerable.

The stranger inched closer to him, and Changkyun noticed the sweet, innocent curve on his beautifully full lips. He swore that the moment that man put his hand on Changkyun's shoulder, he saw a flicker of orange, so faint, yet so alive. He saw it for only a second, maybe less, but he was certain he'd seen it on the horizon.

The stranger turned to face Changkyun just slightly, before he exited the beach, and Changkyun held his breath.

 

"My name is Hoseok, by the way"

And just like that, his shadow dissapeared into the surreal scene that everything is at 5am.

He felt his heart push and pull, yearning for something he wasn't sure of. Changkyun slumped down, eyes fixed at the sunrise that was almost over. He couldn't see the orange anymore, just pure black in its place.

He was sure orange was a happy color, yet he could never believe it to be. He wasnt sure what he felt, what the rush was, or why he saw it only for a second, but he repeated the name 'Hoseok' in his mind like sweet music.

The name made him feel a slight, unwanted happiness.

 

A few days had passed, and Changkyun regretted speaking to him. He felt things he hadn't in years, and he began to notice more.

He started to notice flowers everywhere he went, feeling bad if he stepped on one. He'd find himself apologizing for doing so, and felt incredibly stupid right after. He remembered how his mother had always kept flowers on their porch, and how he never cared for them.

He never cared for them, even when his mother treated them with such delicate care. He'd erased memories like that of her, when she was smiling and at her happiest, because he wasn't strong enough yet. 

 

Changkyun had his first crush when he was 6 years old. He was certain his classmate was his soulmate, because he made him feel the way orange did. Changkyun was young and innocent then. He was filled with dreams and hope. Things that were lost to him now.

 

When he confessed to his crush, he was beat up until his eye bruised and his lip bled, only to be shoved in a locker for 4 hours. He vowed to never let himself fall for the trickery of love, even if it was his soulmate.

He remembered the boy with the kind smile who had helped him out that day. He was the only one who'd heard his silent cries, comforting him from the other side of the door while staff came to get Changkyun out. When Changkyun saw the boy, he was a savior to him, with a genuine smile and sparkling eyes.

Hoseok had that same smile.

 

He didn't want to speak to the man. He hated speaking to people, because all people had ever done was break him. He hated the thought of making friends and falling in love even more. He believed it was a disguise to mask the ugly truth. The truth of love. The truth that it's fake and painful.

 

He lay in his rackety second-hand bed, in his dusty old apartment. He stared lifelessly at the dark ceiling, unable to find sleep.

He sighed heavily, feeling a wave of emotions every time he thought of the orange sunset he couldn't fully see, and the alluring silhouette of Hoseok. He didn't want to fall in love. He knew his soulmate would hurt him.

But maybe.... just maybe, if it was that boy who saved him from that dark locker, it would be alright.

 

The next morning, Changkyun resembled a zombie. He hadn't been able to sleep, because of overflowing thoughts. On his way to class, he fell asleep on the train, missing his stop. He woke up two stops later, when the train came to a jolting halt. He could hear instructions on the intercom, but in his drowsy daze, they were meaningless mumbles.

He exited, finding his way to a crowded street. Until he found his way to a calmer area. He'd been walking aimlessly for almost half an hour, avoiding every black glitch of what would've been orange, when he heard something.

 

He heard singing.

The soft sound filled Changkyun's ears. The voice was like honey; smooth and sweet. He found himself going towards the inviting melody, his feet moving on their own.

 

He followed, until he reached a place from his childhood. A place of memories so distant, he'd buried then deep inside him.

He stood in front of a cozy little flower shop that his mother would take him to as a child. He'd only been there a few times, but his mother's smile as her fingers grazed the petals was everlasting.

 

Changkyun felt his heart tighten at the view. There were so many black blotches of what was orange, and so many different varieties of flowers and trees, he felt overwhelmed by the beauty.

He paced his way inside, getting closer to the singing that had brought him here. His eyes fell on a man with perfectly messy hair, whose back was turned to him. He had a firm built, and was engrossed in tending to a orange tree, head bobbing to the beat of his tunes.

 

"You have a beautiful voice"

The man jumped slightly, getting dirt on his ash brown hair, "Oh I didn't know anyone was here" but he smiled gorgeously upon seeing Changkyun, "but.. thank you". He gently rubbed his burning cheek, getting more dirt on himself.

"Ah.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you" Changkyun giggled for a mere second, immedelty regaining his stoic expression a second later. He hadn't giggled, let alone smiled in a year.

 

"It's okay.. I don't get much company here... so.."

Changkyun nodded, as he strolled the garden, taking in the fresh scent of flora and the pleasing aroma of raw earth. There were so many different plants, his eyes almost couldn't keep up. It was a secret haven in the middle of a busy town, and it was breathtaking.

His fingers hesitantly reached for the orange tree beside Hoseok, who nodded a gentle yes. Changkyun felt the rough trunk of the tree, feeling it's curves and patterns under his skin. He softly touched an orange, feeling a warm tingle tickle his fingertips. He knew the oranges themselves were probably cool to the touch, but the color itself was warm, because he connected with it.

"I haven't had oranges in a year"

Hoseok wore a surprised expression, immedelty plucking one off the tree ever so kindly, and handing it to Changkyun.

"My dad loved oranges, so I can't imagine going a day without them" Changkyun's eyes lit up and his cheeks dimpled.

 

He loved oranges too. He used to eat them with his mother during their evening beach trips.

Changkyun's gaze fell on a picture frame that hung beside the orange tree, his expression changing immedielty.

He saw a photo of a man, and a very young boy. Then he saw a photo of that same boy when he was a little older. Changkyun felt his heart stop and cave in itself. It was him.

 

"W-who... is this?" He asked, pointing at the photo of the young boy.

Hoseok glanced at it, his lips curving upwards, "Ah... that photo is so old. That's when I was nine years old"

 

Changkyun felt his body freeze, his heart beating uncontrollably. He couldn't take his eyes off the photo, and he could feel Hoseok's gaze settle on his figure.

"I... I have to go..." his voice cracking as he choked on his emotions. He never imagined he would see him again, because the last thing he wanted, no... needed, was to fall on love.

 

He turned to leave the little shop, but Hoseok's hand had caught his wrist.

"Please... don't go yet"

Changkyun turned to face him, eyes threatening to break a dam, when he could see a few flowers flicker a vibrant orange. He panicked, snatching his hand away, as another photo beside the entrance fell in his hasty gaze.

 

It was a photo of him and his mother, when he was three years old. The photo was in a gold frame, next to a fresh bouquet of yellow tulips.

 

Changkyun ran out of the store, going in a direction he didn't know.

After a few minutes of running aimlessly, he reached a lake. He couldn't see orange anymore. Not on street signs or the old fall leaves that were still littered about.

 

His knees buckled as they crashed on soft, wet soil, clutching his hair in his fists as he screamed into his reflection. He screamed until tears stained his cheeks, and his red eyes couldn't see the world anymore. He screamed in frustration and fear, punching the meshed ground until his fists bruised.

"No! No, no... I can't... i-dont... want to.. love... help me.. mom..please" his voice was shattering into a thousand pieces with every word.

He was petrified of love. He would get hurt again, he was certain. But he was profoundly conflicted, because this wasn't just anyone. This was him. The boy who saved him.

His crying ceased, and he threw his head back. He studied the empty sky above him, with all its clouds and blue hues. A part of him wanted to see orange again, while the other wanted to disappear. 

Mom... I want to be with you again...

When he closed his eyes, he heard that singing echoing in his head. He felt the warmth of that genuine smile, and he repeated his name.

"Get out of my head... Dammit, just get out!"

He shook his head furiously, as if trying to vanish deadly thoughts.

 

"Hey... are you okay?"

Changkyun didn't have to turn around to know who it was. He could recognize that sweet voice anywhere.

"Why... did you have a photo of my mom and I..." his voice was almost a whisper, and Hoseok was afraid he'd break.

He cautiously inched closer to the crying boy, taking slow, light steps, before sitting down beside him.

"She was a customer many years ago... and she was someone special to my dad"

Changkyun turned to him abruptly, his brows scrunched in confusion, "no... she never met her soulmate, you're lying"

"She did... they just decided to keep it hidden since they both already had kids"

 

"...you're lying..."

Hoseok sighed as his hands fiddled with the dewey grass under him. His soft eyes rested on Changkyun's hidden face, and he smiled sincerely.

 

"You know... researchers say that if two people who are destined for one another don't meet or don't fall in love... then their first borns will be soulmates..."

"That a lie. That's stupid and it's a ing lie"

"... then... their children will have the same color as their parents intended soulmate..."

He looked at Changkyun, studying his expression for signs of comprehension, but there was only anger, "Your mother's color was yellow... right?"

Changkyun glanced at him with wide eyes. He didn't want to believe any of this. He didn't want to love. He would rather die alone than fall for petty illusions.

"And your... color must be orange, right?"

"Stop... you're playing a sick game with me... I'm not stupid" he snapped, eyes piercing into Hoseok's.

"Why would you care for me or my mom... why are you trying so hard?" He scoffed, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "You probably have so many friends and a great mother, right? You're so ing typical... I know your type. You'll just hurt me like everyone else"

"Before you judge me..."

He expected Hoseok's voice to be flowing with anger, but it was still kind and gentle and that destroyed Changkyun.

"...My mother left me at my dad's doorstep when I wasn't even a year old. She never looked back"

 

Changkyun gulped, his shocked eyes glaring at his own wavering reflection.

 

"And you're right... I do have a lot of friends. More than I can count. I have my trees and so many plants from different parts of the world. They've been my friends since I can remember..."

 

"That... doesn't count" his voice was below a whisper. He wanted to push the negativity away, he really did. But it had become an unwanted part of him. A defense mechanism.

 

"It does if you believe..." Hoseok replied, "and... I'm not like other people, Changkyun... I'm not going to hurt you"

 

Changkyun felt his body seize the moment his name left Hoseok's lips. He hadn't heard his name called aloud since his mom left him.

 

"I've always cared about you... since you were two years old and would come to the shop with your mom... You just never noticed me... But I've always been around"

 

Several moments passed, and neither spoke. A silent air settled between them, while everything sank in Changkyun. He meditated in his thoughts, and the pieces fell into place. It began to make perfect sense.

 

"It's crazy... isn't it? That our favorite color is something we can't even see?" Changkyun finally broke the overbearing silence, and Hoseok looked at him curiously.

The younger stood rather abruptly, exhaling deeply. He walked a few steps in the direction he had came, and motioned for Hoseok to follow.

 

Hoseok's stride was a few steps behind Changkyun's, and they made their way back towards the flower shop. The latter kept his head down, avoiding everything orange, while the older kept his gaze fixated on Changkyun's back.

 

After a few minutes, they found themselves standing in front of the orange tree. Hoseok's eyes darted from the tree to Changkyun, and back several times, unsure of what the boy was intending.

He called out his name, only to see tears breaking free from Changkyun's eyes.

He turned to Hoseok, hesitantly, leaning in closer. And closer. Until their faces were only a few inches apart.

Changkyun's cloudy brown eyes dipped into Hoseok's with watchful intensity, trailing to his coral lips and back.

 

The younger parted his lips, and spoke with such a low, deep voice begging for reassurance.

 

"Promise... you won't hurt me"

 

His breath settled on Hoseok's lips, and a yellow flashed in his deep eyes as he gulped down his racing heart.

Hoseok ghosted his shaky fingers across Changkyun's cheek, catching some tears on his skin, "I promise, Changkyun"

 

Those were the words he needed. The words he'd wanted to hear so dearly.

 

Changkyun's eyes fluttered shut, and the distance lessened. Hoseok's lips were filled with sweet, wet warmth in an agonisingly slow instant.

It was paced, gentle, and careful, but their lips fell into the others. Their bodies overcome with a tingling heat as colors blossoms around them. Once black blotches became pastels and vibrants and everything in between as the invisible thread that once was so distanced between them, finally connected them.

 

When their lips parted, they both gasped with wet eyes. The overwhelming sight of beauty filled them, and their starstruck gaze drank every last bit.

For the first time in a year, Changkyun laughed. He laughed heartily and shed tears of happiness.

Hoseok took him into his arms, twirling him around, before capturing his lips again. They held each other, as the oranges and yellows reflected in their hopeful eyes. They were surrounded by color, and they could see all of it.

 

"Changkyun... Will you have oranges with me while watching every sunrise?"

 

A vibrant smile curved Changkyuns lips, "I'd like that.. Hoseok"

 

If watching the sun descend was a special place with his mother, then watching a new day start would be his sacred place with Hoseok. Changkyun wasnt sure if he could fully trust him, but as days would turn into years, he would find his answer. But for the time being, he would put his faith in love.

Because orange was a happy color, and Changkyun had found happiness.