Hoseok groaned, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes as he rubbed his temples. He had been lying awake for hours now, a splitting headache keeping him from the sleep that his boyfriend always clung so desperately to at any possible chance.

 

His boyfriend of 2 years, Yoongi—who was sleeping soundly next to him, his black hair splayed out on his pillow almost artfully. Hoseok smiled, lightly kissing Yoongi’s forehead before slowly sitting up, huffing as the movement sent another shock of sharp pain shooting through his skull. Moving even more slowly, he got out of bed, getting dressed and heading towards the kitchen.

 

He had been having these headaches for a few days now, progressively getting worse each time they happened. At first, it had only been a slight ache, a dull throbbing at the base of his skull. Annoying, but easy to ignore, and it usually went away with a few Tylenol. Then, it had turned into sharper, more persistent stabs of pain, spreading to the sides of his head and across his forehead at times—and no matter what he did, it wouldn’t go away.

 

At this point, Hoseok was getting concerned, and even Yoongi has been suggesting he see the doctor even though he knows of Hoseok’s slightly irrational fear of doctor’s offices and hospitals.

 

"Really Hoseok, they're there to help! They'll probably just do some sort of scan, it's not even a big deal, Babe!"

 

"Yeah, Yoon, well how about you go get YOUR head scanned and tell me how you like it!"

 

For now, though, he decided to relish in his morning off, making a pot of coffee as he listened to his boyfriend going through the waking up process in their room. Yoongi wasn’t much of a morning person—he normally tried to arrange his work meetings for any time after noon, but today was an exception it seemed.

 

Hoseok himself normally enjoyed mornings, but lately it had been harder and harder for him to get up out of bed at all. His movements going from energetic and cheerful to slow and listless, his energy being drained from being in so much pain.

 

Humming one of the more recent hits that Yoongi had worked on (that had done extremely well for the studio, earning Yoongi a raise and a promotion) Hoseok moved on to making breakfast, flashing Yoongi a smile as he dragged himself into the kitchen.

 

“Well, good morning Sunshine,” Hoseok teased, setting a cup of coffee down on the table in front of Yoongi—two sugars and no creamer, of course. Just how Yoongi likes it.

 

“If anyone here is the sunshine, it would be you, you weirdo,” Yoongi deadpanned, tiredly resting his head in his hands. “How the hell do you get up this early every day of the week?”

 

“Hey, if the kids can do it, the teacher can do it!”

 

Yoongi huffed at his optimistic chirp, but Hoseok saw him smiling as he sipped his coffee.

 

His smile turned to a frown when Hoseok let out a pained gasp as another sharp pain stabbed at his temples, the younger man quickly setting down his cup, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“You should really get that checked out, Babe, that’s not…normal,” Yoongi tutted, worrying his lip between his teeth. Yoongi’s tone, which might sound harsh to those who aren’t used to him, made Hoseok realize just how worried the older man was.

 

“I’ll be fine, it’s probably just…from being tired. Or too much caffeine, or something,” Hoseok mumbled, not wanting to let on to Yoongi how anxious he actually was.

 

“Well, take some painkillers and rest today while you have the time off,” Yoongi relented, apparently deciding it was too early for an argument. Hoseok nodded, joining Yoongi at the dining table as they finished breakfast.

 

“I still have to go in later, though, we have teacher’s conference at five,” Hoseok said, sighing at the thought of sitting in a stuffy conference room with the rest of the school’s staff, listening to boring reports of the school’s success rates. In his opinion, the school system was often more hurtful than helpful—particularly for the younger age groups. But of course, the opinion of one fourth grade teacher didn’t matter in the eyes of the school board, no matter how much better his classes performed statistically.

 

“Sounds like an absolute party.”

 

Hoseok let out a huff of laughter at Yoongi’s sarcastic drawl—something Hoseok never failed to find funny. It was one of his favorite things about his boyfriend (which was admittedly, quite a long list), something that he had found to be somehow charming when they had first met in college.

 

He and Yoongi were in a lot of ways opposites, and their senses of humor were wildly different, but things like this made Hoseok feel like they still fit together in a way.

 

However, when Yoongi left for work leaving Hoseok with a kiss and a promise of being home for dinner, Hoseok was anything but amused. His headache had just gotten worse, painkillers not helping whatsoever.

 

He tried sitting down for a while, resting in the silence that came with being alone, but sitting still was always hard for him—a fact that Yoongi never failed to point out.

 

Looking around the room, Hoseok decided it couldn’t hurt to tidy up a bit, he was the one with a day off after all. Desperate to keep his mind off the headache, he pushed himself off the couch and stretched his back out.

 

He went through the motions, dusting and doing the dishes, wiping down the countertops and even rearranging their bookshelf.

 

The room could really do with a vacuuming, he thought. He hated vacuuming. But it was something to do.

 

He realized soon after getting the dreaded machine out of the hall closet that maybe vacuuming with their old, loud vacuum maybe wasn’t the best thing to do with a headache.

 

Figuring he already started, he moved the coffee table out of the way so he could get to the rug. Then, he paused.

 

‘What the hell?’

 

The rug—the horribly ugly green and white rug that they had gotten as a joke (correction—that Hoseok had gotten as a joke, Yoongi rolling his eyes and losing the fight) because it was their college’s school colors, was…blue?

 

He blinked quickly, shutting the vacuum off and shaking his head. Was his eyesight going? Is this why he’s been having headaches?

 

Hoseok rubbed his eyes before focusing on the rug again, biting his lip roughly when the color refused to go back to normal.

 

‘I must be more tired than I thought, this is ridiculous,’ he laughed to himself softly.

 

Ignoring the sense of uneasiness that was settling in his bones, he quickly moved the coffee table back over the rug, and decided that was enough cleaning for the day and that the rest of the vacuuming could wait.

~~***~~

The rest of the day went by painfully slow, from reluctantly getting showered and dressed and heading to the elementary school he taught at, to sitting through the predictably terrible conference. All the while, his headache became more and more persistent, until Hoseok could barely even focus on the presentations.

 

“Mr. Jung, are you alright? You aren’t looking too good.”

 

He startled at the voice of the school’s board director, feeling his cheeks heat up at the sudden attention.

 

“O-oh, sorry, I just…I have this headache, it’s just,” he stuttered, gasping as another shock of stabbing pain struck through his temples, spreading to his forehead.

 

“Maybe you ought to get home and get some rest, I’m sure we can get you caught up later.”

 

“Y-yeah, alright—thank you, I’ll be sure to get caught up with everything,” Hoseok sighed, relieved. He just wanted to get home, curl up on the couch with a hot cup of tea and wait for Yoongi to get home. Driving probably wasn’t the smartest idea with such a bad headache, but Hoseok really didn’t have a choice—so, he just prayed he wouldn’t pass out.

 

As he pulled into the drive, he was surprised to see that Yoongi had beaten him home.

 

“Hey, you got home kinda early,” Hoseok said, trying to mask the pain in his voice.

 

“Yeah, meeting didn’t take as long as I thought. Wanted to get home and make sure you were alright.”

 

Hoseok smiled tiredly, not wanting to worry his boyfriend further. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Yoongi hummed, squinting as he looked Hoseok over from his spot on the couch.

 

“You look like you’re about to fall over. Come on, sit down. We can put in a movie,” he said, patting the couch beside him.

 

It had been a while since they’ve had a free night to just relax, and Hoseok felt warm at the comforting idea. He always felt so tired lately, but he still cherished the time they managed to find for each other and this headache wasn’t about to stop him from enjoying it.

 

Yet, halfway through the movie, the pain shot through his temples again, worse than before.

 

“Agh! God, why won’t it go away!” he yelled, grasping at the sides of his head as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

 

“Still? Jesus, Hobi, you really need to go to the doctor. You know what, I’ll just make you an appointment—,”

 

“No! No, I don’t—you know I hate going to the doctor!”

 

“Well, that’s just too bad! This could be something serious, Hoseok, and frankly it’s freaking me out!”

 

Hoseok shook his head, still trembling a little at the thought of being forced to walk into the urgent care down the street, those bright white walls and all of the sad, sickly people and—those ungodly, horrible, terrifying bright lights.

 

He wasn’t quite sure where this fear stemmed from. Was it ridiculous being afraid of the place that’s specifically for helping you be well? Maybe. Did that knowledge change his fear? Not at all.

 

“Well—you know what, whatever. It’s your head,” Yoongi finally gave in, roughly leaning back onto the couch seat and pulling his arm away from Hoseok’s back.

 

Sighing, Hoseok bit back his words as he leaned back as well, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as he willed the pain to stop. It began to ebb away, miraculously, as he tuned out the background noise of the blaring action movie on the television and Yoongi’s mumbled grumbling.

 

But when he opened his eyes again, looking over at the lamp on the side table, Hoseok felt something inside him snap.

 

It was the most uncomfortable feeling, it was like he was disconnected from his body, but he was still conscious of being there. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the lamp—that lamp they had gotten at a garage sale last summer, the one with the shade that Hoseok thought looked like grandma curtains but Yoongi thought was ‘tastefully classic’—it was wrong. It was so wrong.

 

“Yoon.”

 

“What? Hoseok, I swear I’m not rewinding this damn movie again, stop spacing out—,”

 

“No, Yoongi, just. Look at the lamp, is it…does it…look weird, to you? Like…just, not…real?” Hoseok asked, stuttering. He didn’t know how to explain, he didn’t know how to make it not sound like a joke.

 

“Hoseok, what the hell are you on about. It’s a ing lamp, how many painkillers have you taken today, Babe?”

 

“No! Look! Just—just look at it! It’s…it’s so off. It’s wrong!” Hoseok yelled, his voice cracking with fear. The lamp, it looked so fake. Like it wasn’t really…real.

 

He felt himself shift when Yoongi leaned away from him, sighing.

 

“Hoseok…do you…if you have something to tell me, I would…appreciate if you did so now.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hoseok asked, his voice still shaking. Why couldn’t Yoongi see it? He turned back towards that damned lamp, about to speak again when Yoongi cut him off.

 

“Babe. You, you’ve really been…acting a bit odd. For a while now. Like, a few weeks. I didn’t say anything because I figured you were just stressed, or that it was because of the headaches, but…it’s more than that. You aren’t yourself. It feels like you’ve been hiding something from me, or something, and…and I really don’t know what’s going on, but…,” Yoongi trailed off, his own voice now thin with irritation and something Hoseok couldn’t place.

 

“I…Yoon, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I just. You were right, I’m just tired, it’s just these headaches, I’ll…I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow, I’ll—,”

 

“No, you know what, it’s not. It’s not okay, it’s not just that. I know it. It’s like you aren’t even the same person! You’ve been avoiding me, you think I can’t tell? And you barely talk about your day anymore, and holding a conversation with you is damn near impossible! Do you even want to be here, Hoseok? Do you even want to be here with me?”

 

He could feel himself shaking, he could feel the room shaking. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t Yoongi. Yoongi didn't talk like this. Who even was this? Who even was he?

 

“Yoon, please, stop—don’t say things like that, I’m…I’m getting scared.”

 

“Are you? Who are you scared of, Hoseok? Me? The doctor? Yourself?”

 

His voice wasn’t right. Yoongi didn’t sound like that. Yoongi had a nice, soothing, low and even voice. A voice that always calmed him down, let him see reason. The room was spinning.

 

“Are you scared of them? Are you scared of waking up?”

 

Waking up? Hoseok shook his head, not knowing what this Not-Yoongi was saying. He tried to stand up from the couch, still holding his head with one hand as he tried to rush to the door, but Not-Yoongi caught his wrist.

 

“You don’t wanna do that. You don’t wanna walk out that door, Hoseok.”

 

“W-why? I’m—I’m getting out of here, right now! Away from you! That’s what you don’t want, isn’t it!” Hoseok raised his voice.

 

“You like it here. You’ve been so happy, here. With me. It’s what you wanted, right? Why would you want to leave this?” Not-Yoongi sneered, his face seemingly flickering before Hoseok’s eyes. The room was completely incomprehensible.

 

Hoseok cried out, feeling the pain in his head at it’s worst, the feeling like knives being driven into his head at every angle.

 

“I, I have to…Yoongi, please. Please help me, it hurts so bad,” he whimpered, tears now streaming freely down his cheeks. He clenched his eyes shut, pressing the palms of his hands onto his eyes and praying for it to stop.

 

“Do you want to go to the doctor?”

 

“Y-yes! Yes, I’ll go!”

 

“Then go.”

---

 

Hoseok took in a deep breath, blinking his eyes open and trying to focus his sight on the front door before another shock of pain shot through his forehead, and he was falling.

 

When he woke up, all he could see was white. And bright, terribly bright lights.

 

"Hoseokie? Oh thank God, you're awake! Jesus Christ, don't SCARE me like that, !"

 

Hoseok blinked, the lights hurting his eyes. He turned towards the voice at his side, groaning.

 

"Wh-what...Jin-hyung?"

 

What was Jin doing here? How did he get here? Yoongi? Where was Yoongi?

 

"God, it was crazy, you—you went FLYING! And you just, you were just lying there, my God, I thought you were dead! And that—that, asswipe, he just—sped off, can you believe it? He better pray I don’t find out who he is!”

 

Hoseok stared at his friend, taking in his frantic appearance. Okay, sure he hadn’t seen Seokjin for a week or so, they had all been busy with their respective lives—but surely he wouldn’t look THIS different after just a week? And what was he even talking about?

 

“Where…where’s Yoongi?” he asked, giving up on trying to understand, his throat scratchy and dry.

 

“…Who? I don’t know who that is. Anyway, why aren’t you asking the real questions, like ‘who the hell was speeding through the parking lot so fast they rammed into me and sent me flying to the concrete scaring the living hell out of my friends and putting me into a coma for two days’!?”

 

Hoseok shook his head in confusion, then gasped immediately regretting doing so—the pain in his head intensifying with each movement.

 

“What—Hyung, that. That doesn’t make…any sense. I wasn’t in a parking lot, what are you…nevermind. Just. Where’s Yoongi? I need…I need to talk to him, I think he…I think something’s wrong with him, he…he just snapped, I don’t know—,” Hoseok choked, the pain in his throat making it hard to speak.

 

“Hoseok, YOU aren’t making any sense. I should call the nurses in here, get the doctor, probably, who knows what could be wrong with your head after a hit like that!”

 

At this, Hoseok snapped.

 

“Stop! Just, Hyung, please! Where is he, where's Yoongi!? Stop messing around with me, I just wanna see him!"

 

Finally pausing, seeing how truly distressed Hoseok was, Jin furrowed his brows as he looked Hoseok over carefully.

 

"...Hoseok, I have no idea who you're talking about."

---