you make me feel like nothing's missing

you make me feel like nothing's missing
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Soonyoung nearly trips on his laces that are flapping around his ankles, sneakers slapping on the pavement as he swings around the gate entry, but he really doesn’t care about that.

Annie is going to hate him forever, and she won’t talk to him ever again and before he knows it, she’ll be old enough to move out and Soonyoung will never speak to his daughter beyond the age of seven, all because he was late to pick her up from school for the third time this week.

“Annie!” Soonyoung cries out, heart in his throat as he runs to his daughter, sitting peacefully on a bench by the playground, her legs swinging back and forth off the ground, her bag on her left, and a dark haired young man on her right.

The seven-year-old looks up at him, but instead of the scowl and crossed arms and pout Soonyoung expects, she just just puts a finger to her lip.

“Annie, what are you doing?” Soonyoung slows to a stop and tries desperately to catch his breath while seeming Totally Calm.

“Sitting with Teacher Lee,” Annie replies simply, looking up at him innocently. She doesn’t even seem to mind that he’s late. Is he not as late as he realises?

Soonyoung checks his watch. Nope, he’s definitely late, but more importantly - “Teacher Lee? He’s not Uncle Seokmin anymore?”

“At school I have to call him Teacher Lee,” Annie chirps, though she’s jumping off the bench and putting her backpack straps over her shoulders.

“Oh, right, I forgot,” Soonyoung says as he helps her so that the straps aren’t twisted. He looks at the young man whose head is rolled forward in sleep. “Why is he out here? Is he on duty?”

“Yeah,” says Annie, “but he fell asleep after most of the kids left so I decided to sit with him while waiting, to make sure he doesn’t fall off the bench,”

Soonyoung smiles at his daughter. “You were looking out for Uncle Seokmin. I’m so proud of you, baby,” he kisses her cheek and she giggles.

“Should we wake him up?” Soonyoung asks. Annie shakes her head and Soonyoung wants to agree with her, but really, Seokmin can’t be sleeping when he’s on after school duty.

“Seokmin, hey, Seokmin,” Soonyoung murmurs as he shakes his friend awake.

Seokmin jerks awake, looking around almost frantically before his eyes land on Soonyoung standing in front of him, Annie by his side, her small hand curled in her father’s pant leg.

“Hyung, oh, hi,” Seokmin mumbles, scrubbing at his eyes, getting to his feet. “I uh,” he glances around him, as if registering where he is: the school playground.

“Seokmin, is everything okay? You fell asleep on duty,” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow.

“I did?” Seokmin looks around. Annie is the last one left. “Oh boy, I‘m sorry, Annie,” he says.

“I made sure you didn’t fall off the bench, Teacher Lee!” she says brightly. Soonyoung smiles at her as Seokmin grins and crouches down to her level.

“Thanks, sweetie. It’s after school now, so you can call me Uncle now if you want,” he says as he ruffles her hair. She whines and tries to fix the slightly lopsided pigtails Soonyoung had put on her that morning.

“Really though, Seokmin,” Soonyoung says, “Is everything okay? For you to be falling asleep at school, something must be happening,”

“Oh, it’s not a big deal, hyung,” Seokmin says, rising to stand properly. “The road outside my apartment block is doing work, but since it’s a major road, they close it at night to do it, but the noise has been waking me up lately.”

“Night work?” Soonyoung says. Seokmin nods, rubbing at his eyes.

“They should finish in the next couple of weeks, but who knows if they’ll finish as scheduled,” Seokmin yawns.

“Hasn’t everyone complained? Like, the lady downstairs,” Soonyoung recalls the lovely, but sensitive, lady below Seokmin who seemed to be able to hear every speck of sound in the whole building.

Seokmin shrugs. “Some have, but they can’t do much. Most of them have gone to stay with a friend or relative, or just straight out gone to a hotel for a while,”

Soonyoung blinks. “So why haven’t you?”

Seokmin looks at him blearily. “I can’t afford to stay at a hotel for two weeks, hyung, do you know how much that costs?”

“No, I mean,” Soonyoung flaps his hands pointlessly, “stay with someone,” he says, following it up, not even a beat later, with, “Why don’t you stay with us?”

The words are out before Soonyoung can even think it through. Seokmin’s eyes widen, but before either of them can register the weight of Soonyoung’s words, Annie is chirping in. “Yeah! Stay with us, Uncle Seokmin! Then we can bake cookies everyday!”

“Baby, we can’t bake cookies everyday,” Soonyoung sighs heavily. Seokmin looks bashful, totally guilty of letting Soonyoung’s daughter bake cookies every single time she came over to his apartment, and every time he came over to Soonyoung’s apartment.

“Why not, Dad?” Annie whines, tugging on Soonyoung’s pant leg.

“Really though, hyung, it’s fine,” Seokmin says instead.

“Seokmin, you fell asleep on after school duty, I don’t think it’s fine,” Soonyoung deadpans. Seokmin falls silent, unable to argue. Soonyoung sighs. “Look, it’s only for a couple of weeks, and even if it’s only the couch or a mattress on the floor, I’m sure it’s better than not being able to sleep due to night road works,”

“He can sleep in my bed!” Annie says. Soonyoung gestures at her, as if Seokmin would be convinced by the fact that the seven-year-old had a solution.

It works, somehow.

“Okay, but only if Annie and I can bake cookies on the weekend,” Seokmin grins. Soonyoung rolls his eyes and sighs. Annie cheers loudly.

 

They stop by Seokmin’s apartment to gather a few things he’ll need, like things for work, toiletries, a few sets of clothes and some perishable groceries.

“Seokmin, there is literally something growing on this cheese,” Soonyoung calls, scrunching his nose as he rummages through the fridge.

“Oops, I forgot about that. Just put it in the bin,” Seokmin calls back. Annie is dutifully holding open a backpack for Seokmin to put clothes into, and Seokmin rewards her later with a lolly when Soonyoung isn’t looking.

(He realises later though, when she’s singing at the top of her lungs to the radio all the way back home.)

 

“You know where everything is,” Soonyoung says when they enter the apartment. Annie immediately drops her bag and runs for the couch, her favourite TV show having started five minutes ago.

“Only been here a hundred times,” Seokmin answers and Soonyoung smiles. Seokmin puts his bag in a corner of the living room and puts away the food from his apartment, as Soonyoung shuffles around the apartment, gathering toys and strewn about clothes.

Ten minutes later, Seokmin rests a hand at the small of his back when Soonyoung is sorting the laundry, and Soonyoung jumps at the touch.

Seokmin chuckles. “It’s just me, hyung,” he grins. “I’ll start dinner?”

“Oh,” Soonyoung looks at the shirt in his hand and then at Seokmin, “no, I uh, I’ll get to that in a second, I just need to finish this - ”

Seokmin smiles. “If I’m staying here, I’m not going to just be a guest who sits on the couch while you do everything. So let me help out, okay?”

Soonyoung just nods mutely, watching Seokmin slip back out into the corridor, and then heading to the kitchen. He hears Seokmin humming and Annie’s voice carrying through the corridor, even though he can’t hear exactly what they’re saying.

Soonyoung smiles and goes back to sorting laundry.

 

Seokmin’s head is swimming with the possible curriculums for the next year, as he steps out of the elevator and rummages for the apartment keys in his pocket. He’s been staying at Soonyoung’s only a couple of days, but he’s already learnt so much about his old friend and his daughter.

Soonyoung and Seokmin had been part of the same friendship group in college, getting along easily with similar humour and the same easily excitable nature. But after college, after Soonyoung suddenly got married and Seokmin had to bury the tiny (huge) college crush he had on the older, they lost touch. Soonyoung drifted from everyone in their group, save those he saw through work, but even they said he wasn’t close to them the same way he had been in college. Everyone joked that it was what happened when you got married, but they all knew that wasn’t true.

They only really got back in touch when Seokmin faced a ice-blue haired Soonyoung sending his six-year-old daughter to her first day of school, alone. He was alone to pick her up and send her off every day after that.

It had taken to meeting Junhui in a supermarket a couple of months later, to find out that Soonyoung’s wife had left him and their daughter about two years prior; Soonyoung was now divorced and a single father. Seokmin never got the details, and never asked.

They chatted sometimes after school, but mostly about what was the most effective bribery for six year olds, and likewise advice on children. It was shallow conversation, but Soonyoung was only ever around for as long as he needed to be, and then he was off - running to something or other. There had been some friend group catch ups, and even a few dinners at Soonyoung’s apartment on weekends, because he couldn’t leave Annie, but didn’t want to miss out on seeing friends, so he would offer to cook pasta or stew and they’d sit around with beers after Annie had been put to bed.

The biggest factor stalling the restoration of their friendship to how it had been in the past was actually the time in between that was never talked about - Seokmin would sometimes catch Soonyoung looking distracted, or distant, and wonder what he was thinking about - if it was something that happened in the seven or so years that they lost touch.

Seokmin sighs heavily as he puts the key in the door, mind full of heavy thoughts. So he’s especially startled when he toes off his shoes and takes one step into the living room and then immediately gets tackled to the floor.

“Agent Papa, is the target safe?!” Annie cries from where she’s standing on the living room couch, still wearing her school dress. She’s wearing an old broken headset, the long wire tied around her waist, microphone in front of her face.

“Target safe, Agent Annie!” Soonyoung cries from under Seokmin’s arm, now scrambling to his feet. “They’re coming back though!”

“Run! I’ll get back up!” Annie cries, pretending to type furiously into an imaginary computer by her side, making the clacking noises of the keys herself, eyes furrowed in determination.

Seokmin struggles to keep a straight face, mouth twitching up at the edges. Soonyoung catches it and smirks a little, before fixing his headset and reporting to Agent Annie that they were moving to the safehouse. He grabs Seokmin’s arm and tugs him over to the other side of the living room, near the window, where there’s a blanket fort set up between the edge of the couch and some dining chairs.

“We’re safe, Agent Annie,” Soonyoung reports, crouching at the entrance of the blanket fort, while Seokmin has awkwardly craned his neck to try and fit inside. It’s clearly meant for a seven-year-old.

“Good work, Agent Papa,” Annie’s voice calls and Seokmin smiles. As he watches Soonyoung report back to her and pretend to be on the lookout for whoever is chasing them, he thinks Annie is one lucky girl - Soonyoung is a great father in many ways, including being a secret spy with her on afternoons after school.

“They’re here!” Soonyoung cries and raises finger guns and makes the cartoon-like ‘pew pew’ sound of cartoon guns. Seokmin chuckles, but then Soonyoung gasps dramatically and falls backwards, clutching his chest, bumping a chair in the process and sending the whole blanket fort falling on top of them.

Seokmin, confused at first, worries something really happened. He scrambles forward to Soonyoung, struggling through the sheets, facing Soonyoung with a blanket still draped over his head.

“Agent Annie, I’ve been shot!” Soonyoung says dramatically, splaying his limbs out like he’s a dying protagonist in a movie.

“Nooooo!” Annie cries, jumping off from the couch and rushing towards them. “No, Agent Papa, you can’t die!”

“You’re in base, remember, Annie?” Soonyoung lifts his head to whisper and Annie freezes before clambering back onto the couch, staying there obediently.

Then the game resumes. “Nooooo, Agent Papa, hang on! Back up is coming!!”

Soonyoung looks up at Seokmin, whole face crumpled in fake pain. “The target….” he mumbles, hand reaching to touch Seokmn’s cheek, and for a moment, for a very brief moment, Seokmin feels like Soonyoung really is the protagonist in an action movie and he’s that damsel in distress who just sits there helplessly while the hero makes some stupid cheesy speech, when in reality he should probably have died two whole minutes ago.

Seokmin knows this is all just an act - all part of the role playing game they’re all playing, but the look in Soonyoung’s eyes doesn’t seem false. He’s looking at Seokmin like he’s glad Seokmin’s the last sight he sees before he dies.

Seokmin’s heart stutters in his chest. So much for a buried college crush. It was very much alive, kicking and screaming.

“The target is safe,” Soonyoung murmurs before dropping his hand and sticking his tongue out, ‘dead’.

“Nooooooo!” Annie screams from ‘base’.

Before Seokmin can react to the situation and maybe pretend to actually be an agent too or something, the oven dings and Soonyoung bolts upright.

“Dinner is done!” he chirps and Annie cheers, pulling off her headset.

“You have to wash your hands and face before you eat, princess,” Soonyoung says as he pulls his own headset off, getting to his feet.

Seokmin is still processing that the game is over and Soonyoung isn’t ‘dead’ anymore. He’s probably gaping, because Soonyoung turns back, smiles at him, and offers him a hand to get out of the collapsed blanket fort.

Annie rushes off to the bathroom to go wash her hands and face, while Seokmin follows Soonyoung into the kitchen a little numbly.

Soonyoung chuckles at his perplexed face. “Sorry about the sudden tackle, and thanks for playing along,” he says, “Games over though, you’re not actually a target in danger,”

Seokmin laughs softly then. “I’m glad,” he says, as he grabs the cutlery and plates while Soonyoung gets the casserole out of the oven.

Annie returns and obediently helps set up the cutlery while Soonyoung brings their dinner to the little dining table. Seokmin, sitting opposite them both, is still a little lost when Soonyoung smiles brightly at him before they start. He helps himself to dinner, and nearly burns his mouth trying to forget the look in Soonyoung’s eyes when he had been ‘dying’.

 

It takes four and a half days for Soonyoung to notice Seokmin hunching a little, wincing every time he straightens his back. Soonyoung eyes him over the rim of his coffee cup as Seokmin’s smile bleeds discomfort as he sits on the floor to play with Annie.

“Seokmin,” Soonyoung says a moment later, getting up from the table. Seokmin turns around, and Soonyoung almost forgets the question on the tip of his tongue as he spots the pink bow Annie has clipped to Seokmin’s hair.

Soonyoung smiles and points out said bow wordlessly. Seokmin touches it and grins. “Annie said I have to be pretty to serve the customers in the cafe, isn’t that right, sweetie?” he chirps at her. Annie choruses her approval and Soonyoung shakes his head and sits on the couch beside them.

“Is the couch uncomfortable? You look like you’re in pain,” Soonyoung nudges his back with a toe and Seokmin squirms away.

“I’m fine,” Seokmin says, turning back to Annie who is now very insistent that he pour the imaginary tea into the cups with a pinky sticking out.

“Seokmin,” Soonyoung pokes his back with a toe again. “Seriously, we can work something out if the couch is hurting your back.”

“Like what, hyung? You only have two beds, and I can’t ask you to sleep on the couch,”

“We could alternate or something,” Soonyoung says.

“No, I could never ask you to do that!” Seokmin splutters, aghast.

“It wouldn’t even be that bad, just like every two or three days, we switch,” Soonyoung argues.

“He can have my room! I could sleep with Dad,” Annie chimes in and Soonyoung hums, thinking. That could work, Annie could sleep with him, and Seokmin could take her room. It might be a bit small, but it would be better than the couch -

“Wait, no,” Soonyoung gives her a stern look and Annie immediately retreats, shrinking in her yellow sweater. Seokmin looks bewildered. “We discussed this, Annie. Only on weekends,”

“But - !” Annie cries but Soonyoung raises a hand and she stops, pout forming.

Seokmin looks at him, and Soonyoung explains. “We’re trying to get her used to sleeping alone, so she’s only allowed to sleep with me on weekends,”

“Oh, I see,” Seokmin mumbles.

Soonyoung hesitates for a moment, then says, “I mean, unless… you share with me?”

Seokmin looks at Soonyoung with wide eyes. “Hyung, are you… are you sure?”

Soonyoung doesn’t let himself think about it. “My bed’s big enough, and it’ll just be like college, right?”

He tells himself it’s just like that, that night, when Seokmin climbs into his bed.

“Oh, she’s in bed already?” Soonyoung snaps out of his concentration, peering at Seokmin over his reading glasses. His side of the bed is strewn with notes, nonsensical doodles that make sense only to him. The other side is empty - and Seokmin knows it’s been empty for years.

“Already dreaming,” Seokmin smiles as he turns off the room light, leaving them only in the soft light of Soonyoung’s bedside lamp. “She didn’t even get to the end of the story,” he pouts a little, sulking. “It was such a good end too!”

Soonyoung chuckles. “She’ll ask you read it to her again tomorrow,” he smiles, then sighs and scrubs at his face. “I should have said goodnight. She’s going to be mad tomorrow,”

Seokmin smiles, soft and gentle. “I’m sure we can bribe her with pancakes,”

Soonyoung laughs. “True that,”

Seokmin snuggles into the covers and Soonyoung reaches to turn off the light. “Oh, do what you need to do, I don’t mind the light,” Seokmin says, hand resting on Soonyoung’s arm.

“Are you sure?” Soonyoung hesitates, hand hovering over the switch, papers still all over his lap. He feels like he’s getting goosebumps on his arm where Seokmin’s hand had been, even as he retracts it to beneath the covers.

Seokmin smiles. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he helps organise some of them into a pile, before settling back onto the pillow, smiling at Soonyoung, “Goodnight, hyung,”

Soonyoung smiles, seeing Seokmin’s smile bathed in soft light. “Goodnight, Seokmin,”

 

Soonyoung glances over his shoulder when he hears the happy squeak of his daughter from the kitchen, followed by Seokmin hushing her. He chuckles and shakes his head, focussing on ironing Annie’s school uniform. He also has to vacuum the living room after, and Seokmin said he'd clean the kitchen after they were done baking, so hopefully he could start cooking dinner soon -

Soonyoung is startled when a hand appears in front of his face, holding a warm brown cookie. Said cookie is shoved into his mouth before Soonyoung turns to see Seokmin grinning at him, another cookie in his other hand.

“Careful, it's hot!” Seokmin says, popping the other cookie in his own mouth before going back to the kitchen, where Annie can be seen peeking out, the corners of already smeared with chocolate. She giggles, disappearing back into the kitchen as Seokmin returns, while Soonyoung stands in the living room dumbly with a warm choc chip cookie in his mouth.

It takes him a moment before he actually chews it, savouring the warm baked treat. He smiles, finishing it as he thinks about Seokmin and Annie in the kitchen, giggling over choc chip cookies. He wonders if he should let Seokmin bake with Annie more often.

Then he realises how much sugar is in them, realises Annie probably ate half of the tray, and groans. She's not going to be able to sleep tonight.

 

“Don’t you have to go, hyung?” Chan asks, expression puzzled, as he pokes his head through the door. The class is finished and Soonyoung is still hovering around, listening to some music they were practicing to before.

“Huh?” Soonyoung lifts his head. “Oh, no, not today. Seokmin is going to bring Annie here after school, so I can stick around,” he says.

“Seokmin-hyung?” Chan asks, as the two of them leave the studio room.

“Yeah, he’s a teac

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leobeullijeu #1
Chapter 1: jesus this story probably giving me diabetes, and i need more of it
Sampga #2
Chapter 1: Just love....
shinee4exo #3
Hey, someone put this on Ao3 today. They said it was by you, and linked here, but I thought it was best to check that you gave them permission to do so. I've had work reposted without permission before, so ik the struggle haha
cassiopeiafaith
#4
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Wah.. this is so soft..
I love when you explain about the differences between Soonyoung the teacher and Hoshi the dance instructor.. I can't imagine about the difficult footwork but.. knowing Kwon fire, it must be hot xDD
And Annie is so cute.. I can imagine both Seokmin and Annie become breakfast's chef buddy when they (do) living together <3
Thank you for sharing <3 Fighting~ ^^
EXOKatVIXXBangtan
#5
Chapter 1: AJSKDKKS cutest thing ever I love this so much :')
joshua_1230 #6
Chapter 1: TT Thank you for this beautiful piece that fed my seoksoon thirst~~~ i'm now full with all the feels...this is truly a masterpiece
Bangtanseonyundumb
#7
Chapter 1: FCKKKK OHNTGOSHHHH XJDHSBXBAJJD I NEED A CONTINUATION!!!!
squishhykyungsoo #8
Chapter 1: THIS STORY IS SO CUTE OMG!! cant believe ive only just found ur stories, ur seoksoon and jicheol ones are my fave
seoksoontalk #9
Chapter 1: so cuteeee
yihshinee17
#10
Chapter 1: SOONSEOK! This is the best soonseok story I read ever!!!(><)