"What are you doing in the kitchen?" Jimin asks his roommate of 5 years as he enters their shared apartment.

No answer.

"I told you not to cook..." he mumbles and locks the main door.

As he enters the kitchen, he sees instant-ramen packets stacked on the counter as his roommate, Taehyung keeps jumping and listening to songs on his headset.

Taehyung looks at him and smiles, removing the headset.

"Heyyyy, you're back! I missed you so much." He sing-songs.

"We ate lunch together a few hours ago..." he gives him a look and continues, "why did you bring these many packets of ramen?"

"You buy all the groceries every week... I bought something for the first time in a year..." he pouts.

'You didn't have to' Jimin thinks to himself.

"I understand that, but you really don't have to-"

“Why?”

“Taehyung, you make less money. For now, just concentrate on your dreams-”

"If you don't like it, just tell it to me directly." Taehyung curtly says and goes into his room banging his door shut.

Jimin flinches at the sound. He knocks Taehyung's door but Tae doesn't reply. Nor does he attend his calls.

 

This has been the situation almost once a week for the past year since both of them graduated from the college.

Jimin being an engineering major, earns a decent salary whereas Taehyung is still struggling to get a job as songwriter. By selling his songs, he earns very less amount to even support himself. Jimin ends up paying for most of their expenses but he never feels bad about it. He even cooks for both of them as Taehyung is terrible at cooking. He knows he is helping his best friend in achieving his dream so he does everything wholeheartedly.

On the other hand, Taehyung is so much disappointed in himself because of his situation. He is stressed out and feels guilty for being a burden on Jimin. Sometimes he ends up coming late to the apartment just to avoid speaking to his roommate.

 

 

The next morning, Jimin wakes up, still groggy. He finds a letter on their dining table.

"Thanks for taking care of me all these days. I won't be a burden on you anymore."

Jimin takes a minute to comprehend it. As soon as he is back to his senses, he runs towards Taehyung's room and almost slips. He opens the door and finds the room devoid of Taehyung’s belongings.

He is in utter shock at the sight. He holds the door so as not to fall down.

 

Jimin fights back his tears while making a call to his friend's number but he does not answer the call. Taehyung has severe anxiety issues and Jimin has always been worried about him.

 

He calls some of their friends to know if Taehyung has contacted them but it is of no use. He runs out of his house and searches all the places where Taehyung generally goes. He calls in sick and takes a day off his work. He doesn’t bother about how he looks or even his hunger.

'Taehyung-ah where are you?' He thinks about his friend as he enters the park where Taehyung usually plays with dogs.

 

He keeps calling Taehyung's number but he doesn't respond. Contacting Taehyung's parents may not be a safe move now. He anxiously looks around the park but his roommate is nowhere to be found.

As he exits the park, he gets a message from Taehyung, 'Stop searching for me. I can take care of myself.'

Jimin calls him again but he doesn't answer.

 

He returns to his room and breaks down. He cries himself to sleep. By the time he wakes up, it is already evening. Since he did not eat anything the whole day, he goes into the kitchen and looks at the stack of ramen packets.

 

 

Taehyung and ramen have been Jimin's best friends since he entered college. Taehyung is passionate about writing songs so he chose a creative writing program. Jimin is passionate about dance but his family faced a lot of financial troubles since his childhood. So, he set aside his dreams and took an engineering program at college. For him, a decent life with a stable salary seemed better than chasing dreams and failing to feed himself, even though somewhere in his heart he hates himself for taking such a decision.

While studying, he could only afford to ramen. Since they have been roommates right from the first year, Taehyung and Jimin ate ramen together... sometimes thinking about their future, sometimes crying over their past, sometimes watching funny videos, sometimes having a childish banter.., but never alone.

"Ramen tastes better this way" Taehyung always says to him.

 

Now, as he stands alone in the kitchen, Jimin reminisces their past. His life has improved a lot now, thanks to his job but Taehyung is still struggling.

 

He turns the stove on to cook ramen. As he eats, he couldn't control his anguish. He already has a lot of things bothering his peace. He has been questioning his career choice, he has been resenting his decision to put his dreams aside but Taehyung's behaviour hurts him the most.

 

He scoops the cooked ramen into a bowl and tries to eat but he can't. He finds out that he has fever too, so he forces himself to eat but he fails.

He can't eat ramen without sharing it with his best friend.

He throws it away and cooks porridge. He knows he should eat something so as not to worsen his health, so he forces himself to complete the porridge and goes out for a walk.

 

 

"Are you both dating?" Jimin's classmate ask them as Taehyung and Jimin walk in the college after the classes.

"No. We will never date each other. We're sure about it." Jimin says.

"Yeah. We are soulmates." Taehyung explains incompletely and lays an arm around Jimin's shoulder.

 

 

'So much for being my soulmate...' Jimin thinks as he enters the park. He walks inside the park aimlessly till he feels a little dizzy.

 

The next two weeks pass with Jimin working like a robot at the office. "You are just like a machine, no expression on your face" his co-workers comment but Jimin just gives them a half smile.

 

He goes home as usual and calls Taehyung's number. He has been doing that every day even though Taehyung does not respond. Since he did not get any call from Taehyung's parents, he thinks that Taehyung might be safe and alive somewhere, still struggling at life.

He suddenly remembers a conversation they had. Taehyung mentioned a sauna. So, Jimin runs towards it in hopes of finding him.

When he finds him there, he runs towards Tae with a mix of different feelings, and tears rolling down his cheeks. But Taehyung shoves him away.

"You are doing this out of sympathy."

 

"Tae, I did all these because you are my best friend. I am not trying to show any sympathy." Jimin pleads him to return to the apartment but he refuses.

 

After arguing a lot, Jimin returns to the apartment alone.

 

He spends his days with no enthusiasm. His favourite tv show, his favourite band’s songs, his favourite foods, nothing makes him happy. Even when he meets his friends, he doesn’t smile wholeheartedly. His parents ask him to take few days off work and come home but he refuses.

 

3 months pass and he still calls Taehyung every day.

'I can't give up on my soulmate' he thinks, even though he gets angry at Taehyung's behaviour.

All this time, he doesn’t search for a new roommate as he could not make peace with what Taehyung did. He doesn’t eat ramen, he doesn’t throw the packets away too, leaving those where Taehyung had stacked, the day before he left.

He regularly sends him messages, sometimes telling him to return, sometimes just asking him to take care, sometimes telling him not to give up, sometimes just scolding him…

‘I hope you are safe and healthy.’

He comes back to his senses when he hears the creaking sound of the door being opened.

Taehyung stands at door with his bags beside him.

 

Jimin looks at him and doesn’t believe what he is looking. He rubs his eyes in astonishment and see Taehyung again. His best friend and soulmate has become thinner but he has the same bright smile.

 

Jimin freezes and starts crying. He stands near the dining table and cries for a few minutes before sobbing.

“You can’t do this to me. I don’t deserve being treated this way. All I ever did was to take good care of you but you left me. I…” Jimin tries to shout at Taehyung but he is at a loss of words. Neither of them move from their places.

“I am sorry. I am really sorry.” Taehyung finally speaks and walks towards Jimin. He tries to hug Jimin but gets shoved away.

“You can’t go away whenever you feel like and can’t-can’t come back like this.” Jimin can’t speak properly. Anger, sadness, relief… everything is taking over him. Taehyung tries to hug him again but Jimin punches him on the arm.

“I am sorry. I was a coward. I will never repeat it. Please stop crying…” he speaks softly.

 

Jimin wants to shout at him, take out his anger on him but he can do that later. Now, all he wants is to make sure that Tae is fine. He hugs him back and they both cry again, not because of sadness but because of each other’s warmth. They missed each other a lot.

 

“All this time, I could not find enough food to eat and place to sleep. I sold few of my songs but did not make a lot of money. I almost gave up on trying and on myself but your texts gave me hope. I tried harder even though I keep failing.

I questioned myself why am I trying so hard about this when I see no hope, but when you keep calling me every day even though I don’t answer, I understood that we don’t want to give up on things we love the most. You reminded me that I should keep trying harder.

I finally got a job at an entertainment company. The pay is not high but is decent enough. As soon as I got the offer this afternoon, I wanted to call you and tell about it but I couldn’t. I felt ashamed at my behaviour.

You have always been supporting me but I left you and went away. I was too stressed to even think properly. Whenever you did something for me, my guilt took over that I could not even support myself properly. You were always selfless but I was selfish in running away.

I am sorry to put you through all this pain. I may not have the right to ask this, but can you forgive me?” Taehyung asks him.

He stiffens but speaks, “Of course... How can I not?”

 

They look at each other and smile.

“Look at you… your face is a mess and you have snot.” Taehyung makes fun of Jimin but earns a punch.

“Are you not going to shout at me?”

“Not today. But you will face my wrath from tomorrow.”

“Fair enough. I haven’t eaten anything today. I haven’t eaten properly since I left home. Let’s eat something first.” Taehyung says.

“Fine, I’ll treat you for not losing hope and getting your dream job. What do you want to eat?”

Taehyung smiles and says, “Ramen”.