“Could you just please turn off the lights now Sooyoung?! I wanna get some rest!!” Jessica complained to her room mate.

 

“Shut up Sica! I can’t concentrate!!” The Shikshin yelled back.

 

“UGH~!! FINE!!! Don’t complain tomorrow if you guys will have a hard time waking me up!” The ice princess surrendered. She buried herself to her pillows and flung the blanket over to block the light.

 

“We always have a hard time waking you up!” Sooyoung retaliated. Jessica didn’t reply, the younger girl thanked the heavens quietly for she needed the silence like she needed air.

 

“Now where was I…?” She mumbled to herself. She stared at the blank paper in front of her. “Oh right… still got nothing.” She sighed loudly placing both of her hands to her head. “What am I going to do…?” Then an idea popped out of her mind.

 

She scrambled to the door hurriedly but not forgetting to turn off the lights for Jessica. Even though she was violent and loud, she cares about the other members especially her room mate and that special someone.

 

*Knock Knock Knock*

 

Sooyoung tapped the door as gently as she can without waking the whole dorm. But it doesn’t seem to be working. So she decided to call out the person she wanted to talk to.

 

“Yuri~ah! Yuri~ah! Open up!”

 

She knocked again but there was no answer. She was getting impatient and anxious so she paced in front of the room trying to think of ways to make Yuri get the door.

 

‘Should I shout fire? Then the whole house would be worried. They’ll get mad at me… What else can I do?”She wondered as she walked around aimlessly.

 

“What are you doing?” She was snapped out of her thoughts and she was stopped on her tracks by the voice she heard.

 

“Oh I… I was just…” She said but she stopped herself before she could say anything else.

 

“If you’re trying to talk to Yuri or Yoona, why don’t you just call their phone?” Taeyeon suggested. “Uhmm…right. Okay, thanks.” Sooyoung started to head towards her room. “Goodnight Sooyoung.” She heard the Soshi leader say.

 

Before she could answer back, she heard the door close. “Goodnight Taeng…” She whispered sadly to the air.

 

Concentrating at the task at hand, she searched blindly in the dark for her phone as quiet as she can, coz Jessica was already deep asleep and she knows how cranky her room mate gets when awoken at no particular reason. Well, all the members are like that maybe except for Seohyun. It’s ironic that she was thinking about this while she was about to call Yuri and disturb her sleep.

 

‘But this is important.” She thought. She went outside the room once again and dialed Yuri’s number. Then she waited outside the black pearl’s room and waited. She pressed the green button and after a few seconds, Yuri’s ringtone was heard through the door. A low grumble followed the noise and the ringing in Sooyoung’s own phone stopped.

 

“Hello?” Yuri’s sleepy voice that was mixed with annoyance filled Sooyoung’s ear.

 

“Yuri~ah! Come outside now!” The shikshin ordered. “Hurry up!”

 

“What?!” Yuri checked the time on her phone. It was 2:45 AM. “Can’t this wait till tomorrow?” The older girl mustered up every ounce of energy she had to reply to the person on the other line. She wasn’t even sure if she was dreaming or not.

 

“NO it can’t!! So c’mon hurry up~! I’m outside your room!” Sooyoung said a little bit louder so that Yuri would be able to shake the sleepy fog she is in.

 

Yuri moaned irritatedly but she still got up from bed, taking care not to make too much noise because of Yoona. She prayed that the girl wasn’t disturbed from the ruckus Sooyoung made.

 

As she opened the door she instantly said, “What do you want?” She squinted her eyes, trying to adjust to the dim lights from the lamps in the living room.

 

“I need your help.” Sooyoung said like she was really desperate. Sensing the feeling, Yuri thought Sooyoung had a problem so she tried her hardest to make grogginess she felt to go away.

 

“What’s wrong?” She asked concerned.

 

Sooyoung led her to the kitchen and made her sit at the stool at the bar. The taller girl circled around so they were facing each other.

 

“I want you to teach me the secret of songwriting.” Sooyoung said seriously.

 

Normally Yuri would laugh if Sooyoung told her this during the light of the day or whenever she wasn’t cranky but now was not really a good time. “WHAT?! YOU WOKE ME UP FOR THAT/!”

 

“Sshhhh~~!! Quiet! You’re going to wake them!” Sooyoung hushed. Yuri rose to her feet, threatening to walk away.

 

“Wait Yuri~! Where are you going?!” The shikshin asked disbelievingly. Yuri just left her hanging but then again, she couldn’t blame her because it was really unreasonable for her to wake the girl up during this ungodly hour. But when will be the right time to ask her? For sure she would mock and laugh at her. Plus she couldn’t risk the others knowing…

 

“I’m going to bed if you don’t mind. Don’t try to wake me again.” Yuri warned. She was really scary when she’s angry.

 

Sooyoung chased the girl before she reached the room. “Yuri~ you have to help me. This is really important!”

 

“NO.” Sooyoung blocked the doorway so that Yuri wouldn’t be able to go in.

 

“Step out of the way or else~!”

 

“Help me or else~!!” Sooyoung said, louder than usual.

 

“Be quiet! Yoona’s sleeping!”

 

“If you won’t help me, I’ll wake Yoona.” The Shikshin threatened.

 

Yuri shook her head in disbelief. “What has become of you? Why would you even do that? You’re so inconsiderate.”

 

The taller girl let out a loud sigh. She stepped out of the way and said, “I’m sorry. But if you have time, help me if you can.” Yuri’s eyes widened in shock. Sooyoung, the violent girl who doesn’t apologize just said sorry. “Please…” Sooyoung continued. “Thanks. Goodnight Yuri.” She had her head down as she dragged herself towards her bedroom.

 

This time, Yuri scrunched up her face in pure shock with a mix of incredulity. The girl just said sorry to her and now she just said please and thank you? She never does that… Or rarely. ‘What’s happening to her?’ Yuri thought to herself. She ignored the thought for now and decided to call it a night.

 

---

 

 

 

The next morning, the girls were all busy preparing for their trip to Japan. They used two vans to go to the airport. Sooyoung climbed up immediately and took the backseat of the van. She turned her iPad on and stared sleepily to the empty notes screen. The blinking cursor was so hypnotizing; she was staring at it for the entire ride. She planned to sleep on the plane but what good will that do? Their flight is just less than an hour and if she sleeps, she’ll just get cranky.

 

She boarded the plane with her members; she chose the seat near the window, away from the aisle. She hated the thought of people prying at her business whenever they pass her.

 

While she was waiting for the plane to take off, she caught herself staring blankly again to the view outside the window. She didn’t realize that someone took the seat next to her.

 

“Still got nothing?” She turned her head and found Yuri looking at her concerned.

 

She tried to smile but she couldn’t. “Yup. Nothing.”

 

“Sooyoung, just because the company wanted us to write our own songs, doesn’t mean you need to act all crazy like that. You’re loosing sleep and our manager wouldn’t want that. Don’t push it too much ‘kay?” Yuri advised the girl.

 

The shikshin shook her head dismissively, “No. It’s not because of the company’s orders. Though I admit it’s part of the reason but not solely.”

 

“Then why?”

 

“Because I want to.” Sooyoung said simply.

 

The black pearl sighed. “Why did you come to me for help anyway?” Yuri asked out of curiosity. She had an idea but she wanted to hear it directly from her co-member.

 

“Well, Mistake was a really good song and it really inspired me.” Sooyoung said.

 

“Thanks. I didn’t dream of the day I would earn a compliment from you.” Yuri joked, trying to lighten up her friend’s mood. It worked a little for she saw a small smile from the other girl’s lips. “Fine, I’ll help you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. So… What do you want to write about anyway?”

 

“Love.” Sooyoung automatically replied.

 

“Love huh?” Yuri repeated. “Then while writing, you may think have to feel a specific thing, or you need to think of a person.”

 

Sooyoung nodded her head in response. “So… Visualize that person, or let the feeling take over you while you write. Like for example, when you see this person, how do you feel? What do you see? What’s that person like? What does that person make you see or experience?”

 

“Wow. That’s good Yuri.” Sooyoung replied while soaking up the things Yuri said. “How does she make me feel?’ She thought. ‘Where do I even begin?’

 

“Well then, try to organize your thoughts first. Write random words that pop into your mind and then try to make a rhyme.” Yuri continued. That was all the motivation she needed. Their flight ended and they had to make their way out of the airport. She put her sunglasses on and loaded off the plane.

---

 

 

 

In their quiet hotel room, Sooyoung sat alone in the living room, paper in hand. She chewed the end of her pencil while thinking deeply. She took Yuri’s advice and she let herself divulge into feelings she kept hidden inside her for a very long time now.

 

“Her smile reminds me of spring. It’s warm and beautiful. It melts the coldness in my heart like what the spring does to the winter snow.” Sooyoung said out loud. She scribbled some words in the paper in front of her. She smiled to herself and she continued to write.

 

She thought of random things with Taeyeon, the sole reason of her writing this song. She doesn’t want to impress her or anything. She just wanted an outlet to let her feelings out for their leader. They don’t spend much time together so she only had little memories to rely on. Like that time they went to that beach in Phuket. Taeyeon held her hand while they were strolling in the beach. It felt so right. She felt the happiest when they run and had a little race where she made Taeyeon catch her.

 

She scribbled more as the memories invaded her brain and the feelings took over her body.

 

After three grueling hours of erasures, disappointments, crumpled papers, loud sighs, eye-scratching, yawning, hunger, and sleepiness. She was finally satisfied with her work. A big smile was formed on her face. She couldn’t wait for Taeyeon to sing this song.

 

---

 

 

 

The next day, she went directly to their manager to present the piece she did. Their manager got too happy and he immediately called the studio so that they could work on Sooyoung’s song. But the shikshin requested for it to be a secret and she would be the one to reveal that she wrote the song. Their manager agreed and Sooyoung patiently waited for the song to be finished.

 

Sometimes, the studio would call her for minor adjustments which she found annoying and cool at the same time. But she managed to pull through and when she heard the final sample, she was really excited.

 

She asked the people from the studio if they would allow her to assign the parts to their members. The staff was reluctant but her opinion was heard. Besides, it was her song after all. She made Taeyeon sing what she thought were the most important lines for her. But of course, Taeyeon couldn’t sing every line so she settled for what the staff members decided to do.

 

---

 

 

 

The day of the recording finally arrived and the girls went to the studio to listen to the recorded sample. After listening to the song, the girls clapped and expressed what they felt towards the new song.

 

“Wow, I loved the melody.” Tiffany said.

 

“Yeah, it’s refreshing, like the spring.” Hyoyeon backed her up.

 

“We should do more slow songs.” Jessica suggested.

 

Sooyoung kinda got disappointed for the members only commented on the melody, which she had little to do. But she was surprised when Taeyeon turned to their manager and said, “I loved the lyrics. Who wrote this?”

 

“I am not allowed to say unless I’m given the permission.” Their manager said, eyeing Sooyoung which the other members didn’t fail to notice.

 

Suddenly, Yuri had a realization. “Oh my God! Sooyoung!!” She squealed and hugged the taller girl tightly. Sooyoung happily hugged the girl back.

 

“You wrote the song?” Sunny asked.

 

“Yeah… Did you guys like it?” The shikshin shyly asked.

 

“Of course!” The members chorused.

 

“So that’s why she’s always up so late.” Jessica wondered aloud.

 

‘Good jobs’ and ‘I’m so proud of you’ were thrown around the room for Sooyoung and she happily accepted them all but none was as important as Taeyeon’s opinion. Although the leader doesn’t know the song was for her, she’s not sure if she was ready to tell Taeyeon the truth. Maybe she’ll wait after they recorded the song.

 

---

 

 

 

The song was decided to be a part of their new album ‘The Boys’. Sooyoung couldn’t contain the excitement she felt when she thought of the fans. They will be able to hear her work and she couldn’t be more proud of herself. Of course they wouldn’t know that it was for Taeyeon, which was kinda disappointing but whatever. She’s happy now and she doesn’t know if there would be a greater feeling than this.

 

One night, she was hanging out at their dorm’s balcony which she does when she wanted to get away from their crazy members. She unconsciously began to sing the first part of the song…

 

Bom nal gateun miso e~

On sesangi hwahaejyeoyo~

Nal dashi ddo ggumgguge haeyo~~

 

Haessari banjjakineun nal~

Geudae son e kkakji kkigo~

Balgeoleumeul majchwo georeoyo~~

 

She was interrupted by a small cough from her back and she turned around immediately to meet the brown orbs of Taeyeon staring up at her.

 

“You scared me~!” Sooyoung breathed.

 

Taeyeon giggled which made Sooyoung’s heart double its speed. “Sorry.”

 

“So what are you doing here?” Taeyeon asked. “Nothing. I just want to think.” Sooyoung responded.

 

“Oh okay…”

 

There was a long pause. “Uhhh… I was going to ask you something. I hope you won’t get mad.” Taeyeon said carefully. She knows how Sooyoung is. She doesn’t want the girl to go berserk on her. Especially they’re on the balcony.

 

“What is it?” Sooyoung asked curiously, the pumping in her chest was so loud that she was surprised Taeyeon couldn’t hear it.  Or could she?

 

“About your song…” Taeyeon began. “Did you write it for someone in particular?”

 

The question caught Sooyoung off guard. She didn’t expect that this question will come from the person she wrote it for. Her mind went blank and she couldn’t think of anything that would get her out of the situation so she just retaliated back with a question. “Why do you want to know?”

 

“Uh… Nothing. If it’s private then you can just tell me, I’ll drop it.” The shorter girl said.

 

Sooyoung wasn’t sure if she wanted to drop it but a part of her wanted to confess and come clean already. But what if Taeyeon freak out? What if she gets rejected? What will she do? She wouldn’t survive if Taeyeon would be awkward with her. She won’t be able to take it.

 

But… what if she feels the same way to?

 

That’s absurd. There’s no way…. But just what if….

 

Sooyoung took a deep breath and said, “Yeah… you’re right. I wrote it for someone.”

 

“Really…? Wow. Then that person is really lucky.” Taeyeon replied. Sooyoung couldn’t read the expression on the other girl’s face. She’s not sure if she’ll continue.

 

“I don’t know about that…” Sooyoung said sadly. Taeyeon caught on and asked, “Why do you say so?”

Sooyoung didn’t reply immediately. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath again. ‘This is it. I can do this.’

 

“Do you really want to know who that song is for?”

 

“If that’s okay with you.”

 

“Then you must promise me two things.”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t freak out and don’t get mad at me.”

 

“Okaaaay~~ I won’t freak out. But why would I get mad at you?” Taeyeon asked puzzled. Sooyoung was acting weird and the girl seemed to be out of herself so the soshi leader assumed the situation was serious. But at the same time, she could feel her heart pound in her chest like it’s anticipating something it wants for a very long time.

 

“You might get mad because…” She paused, not sure if she would pull through. “I wrote the song for you.” The taller girl said quietly. If it wasn’t for the deafening silence, Taeyeon would’ve missed it.

 

“F-for me…?” Taeyeon’s eyes widened as the thought sank in. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest like it would explode anytime soon. She didn’t expect this. Well, for the record, both of them didn’t.

 

Sooyoung could only nod in response. She was too nervous to say anything else and she was also afraid that she might scare Taeyeon away. Thankfully, the smaller girl talked instead of her. “B-but why?”

 

“If you listen to the song carefully, you’ll know.” Sooyoung said softly.

 

“I already did… and you know what? I… kinda….”

 

“Yeah?” Sooyoung encouraged for the girl to go on.

 

“I kinda hoped that it was for me.”

 

Sooyoung blinked rapidly, letting the new information she received plant inside her brain, no, scratch that. Her heart was the first one that picked it up, which explains the ear shattering thumps it was now producing inside her.

 

“W-what do you mean?”

 

“What I meant to say is… I’d like that song to be for me because… it felt like you were confessing to someone in that song. And I wanted to be me so badly. I wanted you to confess to me.” Taeyeon hurriedly said in a rant.

 

Without thinking twice, Sooyoung pulled the shorter girl into her arms. Both of them could hear their hearts beating faster by the second. They both closed their eyes on the contact they dreamed of for a long time.

 

They eventually broke the embrace and just stared at each other. No one wanted to break the spell they were currently in. The moment was still too good to be true.

 

“A-are you sure you want me…?” Sooyoung asked, trying to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

 

Taeyeon chuckled lightly and said, “Yes, pabo… I don’t even know why I fell in love with you but I couldn’t help it.” She gave the taller girl a wide smile.

 

But the smile on Sooyoung’s face faltered, “W-wait… Did you just say that you love me?” The smile on Taeyeon’s lips also disappeared and was replaced by a blush that formed on her cheeks.

 

“I guess we’ve been keeping secrets to each other huh.” The leader quipped. It was Sooyoung’s turn to chuckle. “That’s right.”

 

“Well.. you owe me a lot of explanation.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I want you to explain the song for me. But before that, let’s go inside first. I’m freezing.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The two went inside Sunny and Taeyeon’s bed room.

 

“Where’s Sunny?” Sooyoung asked, taking a seat in Taeyeon’s bed. “She went out for the weekend.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Sooyoung…” Taeyeon asked quietly. “Can you do me a favor?”

 

“Sure, anything.”

 

“Would you sleep by my side tonight?” Sooyoung’s eyes widened at the leader’s request. When the shikshin didn’t reply, Taeyeon panicked and tried to mend the situation, “But if you don’t want to then…”

 

“No, it’s fine. I… I’ll stay.” Sooyoung cut off the shorter girl before she finished the sentence.

 

They both lay on Taeyeon’s bed, awkwardly at first. They weren’t sure who made the first move but right now they are cuddling happily, Sooyoung Taeyeon’s hair and the shorter girl was fiddling with Sooyoung’s available hand.

 

“So… tell me…”

 

“About the song?” Sooyoung asked even though it was obvious. The leader nodded her head and then closed her eyes, getting ready to drown in Sooyoung’s sweet voice.

 

“Well, the first part was when we were at the beach in Thailand. Do you remember that?” Taeyeon nodded her head. “I was so happy that time you took my hand and we ran towards the sun.”

 

“Me too.” Taeyeon replied with a smile on her face.

 

“Then… I compared you to the spring because you make me warm inside. Like the feeling you get after the winter. I consider my heart like the winter season because I feel so lonely inside. At talk shows I always talk about love and about my ideal guy is but actually… all I wanted was you.” Taeyeon’s smiled broadened at the confession.

 

“When I’m sad and feeling gloomy, I compare it to the rain. When I feel like there’s no more hope for me, and I start questioning my life, you were there to put a smile on my face. Even though you don’t intend to do it, you just do. You’re like the rainbow after the heavy rain that brightens me up and makes me feel better.” Sooyoung continued. “I figured whatever bad things happen to me in the future, I would face them happily as long as you are by my side.”

 

Sooyoung mustered up all the courage she had and lifted Taeyeon’s chin so that the girl would look at her. “I’ve waited for someone like you for so long and I wanted to experience love with you Kim Taeyeon. I wanted to be that person who would give you warmth when you’re feeling cold and when you have no one else to turn to, I would be the person by your side. Just like what you do to me.”

 

Tears were starting to fall from their eyes. Taeyeon felt a surge of electricity in her body when Sooyoung touched her face. It was a thing she never experienced before. And despite all the consequences, she wanted to feel it again. She wanted to feel it all the time.

 

“Choi Sooyoung. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

 

The surprised reaction from Sooyoung’s face softened as fast as it showed. The moment she dreamed of was finally here and there’s no way she would screw this up.

 

“I want to experience how great your love is Kim Taeyeon.”

 

“Me too Sooyoung. Show me.”

 

And they experienced their first kiss that night. 

---

 

 

Mistakes are all mine. I apologize. Kinda sleepy when I wrote this.

Hope you guys liked it~!