"9...10...no...maybe 11 times?"  

Hoseok turned his head to look at Yoongi, a light breeze catching his hair and blowing it off his face. "That many times?" 

Yoongi continued staring out at the city lights. "Not including the first time of course." 

There was silence between them as Hoseok studied Yoongi. "I had no idea," he said finally. "Why did you keep coming up here after me?" 

A smile tugged at the corner of Yoongi's mouth. "I was worried about you. I didn't want you to be alone." Their eyes met as he pulled his gaze away from the view laid out before them. "What did you think about while you were up here every night?" 

"A lot of things. It might be easier to say what I didn't think of," Hoseok replied with a small laugh as he tilted his head back to look at the empty sky. "Despite all the people surrounding us and cheering us on...do you ever feel lonely? Like, if you make one wrong move, you'll lose it all. The fans will hate you and want you to leave, the company will have no choice but to push you out and then all the people that were by your side will slowly just disappear until it's only you, on your own, with no one to lean on." 

"Left with only your thoughts of self-hatred and voices telling you how you could've done better, how you should've done better; asking you why you even bothered trying when you were bound to fall eventually; telling you that it wasn't worth the pain and torture but there's nothing you can do about it. You may as well disappear all together." 

Hoseok looked back at Yoongi whose expression was filled with understanding. 

"Yes...I've felt that way before." Yoongi put a hand on Hoseok's shoulder and a sad smile crept onto his face. "We haven't chosen an easy path but there's no dead end as far as I can see. The thing that makes it so much harder is walking it on your own and keeping all of your struggles to yourself. If you fall and break an ankle without telling anyone, you will fall behind but if you call for help then we can support you and we can all move forward together." 

Silence eased its way back between them until the sound of the door leading off the roof clicking loudly into place made them both turn around.

"Hoseokie-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, don't either of you sleep?" A yawning Jimin approached the pair running his fingers through his hair. "Do you know what time it is?" He looked at Hoseok and blinked sleepily. "When was the last time you slept? You're hardly ever there if I wake up in the night. Have you seen anyone about it?"

"Jimin-ah," Yoongi finally managed to interrupt. "How many questions do plan on asking before we start forgetting them?" 

"Ah...sorry...I can't help it," Jimin said apologetically as he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's almost 4am; you should both come back in and try to get some sleep."

Yoongi wanted to stay and talk more with Hoseok but they did have another busy day and he hadn't had a chance to sleep all day and hadn't slept much the previous night either. He felt selfish for wanting to sleep knowing how little sleep Hoseok was surviving on but it couldn't be helped. 

"Yeah, lets go back in," Hoseok said putting an arm around Jimin's shoulder and the other around Yoongi's.

The three silently walked back into the dorm together and they parted as Yoongi went to his room and the other two headed to theirs. Darkness filled the dorm as Jimin's lamp went out and the sun waited to show its face to begin another day.

 

***

 

"Uwaaa hyung!" 

"Shhhh! Don't wake him." Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the arm to hold him back as he approached Hoseok who was lying on a couch with his eyes closed as they were getting ready for a performance. 

"Whyyyy?" Jungkook tried to pull his arm free but despite being stronger, Jimin would not release him. "I want to practice."

"It's okay." Hoseok's eyes fluttered open. "I'm not sleeping. What part did you want to practice?"

"You should rest before we go on, Seok-ah," Yoongi said slowly, trying to keep his eyes wide as Seokjin helped to put in his contact lenses. "You too, Jungkook-ah." 

Hoseok was already on his feet watching Jungkook who was showing him the part of the choreography he wanted checked. "Check your footwork...when we do this part and then the turn...just before the turn make sure you know what you're doing with your feet. It should be like this," he said, demonstrating each of the moves slowly and Jungkook copied. "Yes, yes, good. Oh and there, do a hit as you spread your arms, it looks cleaner that way."

Yoongi frowned blinking rapidly as Seokjin got the contact lens in his eyes. "Give it a break, guys." He turned to Jungkook. "Hoseok-ah needs to rest. He didn't sleep last night."

"Hyung, I'll be fine," Hoseok said standing next to Jungkook. "From the pre-chorus. 5, 6, 7, 8."

"It's hopeless." Seokjin sat down in the chair next to Yoongi. "Just let them do what they need to and they'll finish quicker."

Despite Jimin's initial protest, he started to join in practicing the choreography and only then did Hoseok clap his hands together. "Yoongi-hyung is right, we should rest a bit before the performance. Good work guys." He put his hand on Jimin's shoulder and said something in a low voice so that no one else would hear and Jimin looked ready to object by Hoseok shook his head and he stayed silent. 

Yoongi watched this exchange and felt his chest grow tight. He's just concerned for Jimin... He shook his head and sat up straight, slightly wide eyed. "Not that I care." 

"Hmm?" 

Yoongi turned to Seokjin who was looking at him questioningly and realised he had spoken out loud. "Nothing. I'm sleeping." He got up and went to the couch that Hoseok had been resting on. "Yah, Jimin-ah." 

Jimin spun around at Yoongi's call. "Yeah?"

Yoongi smirked as he lay down and closed his eyes. "Nothing." 

"Whyyyy, hyung," Jimin whined.

"Jimin-ah, get your hair done." 

"Yeah, bujangnim!" 

"Let's go out for food after this, everybody, my treat," their manager said and there was a resounding cheer of approval. 

 

***

 

"Hmm...I guess my ideal type would be a guy who..ah no I mean girl." Hoseok covered his mouth with his hand and laughed.

The audience, other guests, hosts and rest of the bts band members laughed at his slip up. 

"Careful, you wouldn't want people to misunderstand, that wouldn't be good," one of the hosts commented as Hoseok waved his hands frantically but looked awkward. "Imagine if people thought that about you!"

Yoongi sat up straighter, his expression slightly annoyed. "Why? What's wrong with that?" he asked the host who looked at him questioningly. "What does it matter if it's a guy or girl? We're all human beings. You only ever ask about our ideal "girls" though." 

"Yah, Yoongi-yah," Namjoon put his hand on Yoongi's shoulder. "He was just saying that you wouldn't want false rumours to spread because of a mistake...people misunderstanding wouldn't be good is what he means." 

Yoongi wasn't convinced by Namjoon's explanation and continued to glare at the host. "People say whatever they want about us anyway. I don't see why it would matter if they thought Hoseok-ah liked guys." 

Hoseok laughed awkwardly. "Hyung, it's okay, calm down," he said.

"Sorry if I misunderstood," Yoongi said before looking away and another host quickly cut in to change the subject.

After a while they were able to clear the awkwardness from the room but Yoongi's mood didn't improve much and people kept glancing at him and hesitated at talking directly to him. 

They were asked several questions about their performance that they had done earlier and about their new album and eventually the interview ended and they all went to clean up and go home. 

"What was that all about?" the manager said angrily as they entered their green room. "Why did you lash out like that? Is something going on?" 

Yoongi bowed. "Sorry, it just came out that way. I thought maybe his comment might be offensive to some people," he replied. 

"Next time, you just grit your teeth and bare with it, okay? Or are you trying to create a scandal?" 

"Sorry, bujangnim, it was my fault," Hoseok stepped in. "I was tired and not concentrating properly." 

"Don't be ridiculous, Hoseok-ah," Seokjin said coming to his side. "No one would blame you."

"I don't think what Yoongi-hyung said was necessarily wrong either," Jimin said. "It may have been a bit awkward but that host didn't really choose his words that well." 

"I agree, Namjoon-hyung covered for him a bit but I don't think he meant it that way," Taehyung said frowning and Jungkook who was standing behind him nodded. 

Namjoon rubbed his chin as the manager looked at him. "Regardless of what the host said, it might have been better to hold back. But we can only learn from our mistakes." 

"Our mistakes?" Yoongi didn't look happy with Namjoon's answer and left the group shaking his head.

"I'm not done talking to you," the manager called after Yoongi. "Don't ignore me Min Yoongi." 

As the manager went after Yoongi, Hoseok collapsed in a chair. "I don't feel like dinner anymore. I want to go home."

Taehyung crouched down and hugged Hoseok from behind. "It's okay hyung." 

Jimin shook his head and breathed out a sigh of frustration. "Aish! He can't blame Yoongi-hyung." He turned to Hoseok. "He wasn't wrong for saying what he said, don't you think?" 

"I don't know anymore," Hoseok closing his eyes. "But I'll support Yoongi-hyung since he was thinking about me." 

"What do you mean?" Namjoon asked abruptly. "That he was thinking about you?" 

Hoseok's eyes opened and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I mean...because I was the one that made the mistake."

"You know, I've been thinking, things have been weird between the two of you for a while now," Namjoon said looking Hoseok in the eyes. "Is there something going on with the two of you? A while ago...Yoongi-yah was asking me about sorting out misunderstandings...that wasn't perhaps because of you? He left in a hurry that day when you interrupted us...and then you went after him too..."

Hoseok found himself speechless but Jimin jumped to his aid. 

"Is now really a time to be discussing this? Don't you think it's a bit much to be asking about all of that?" Jimin said and then ran his fingers through his hair. "After all...isn't it our fault things got weird between them in the first place?"

They all looked at Jimin, open-mouthed. 

Jungkook was the first to speak up. "I've also been thinking that way..." he said stepping forward.

It was obvious why they thought this way but Hoseok forced a laugh. "Yah...you...why would you think that?" When they didn't respond, he laughed again. "Yah...seriously...guys, you didn't do anything." 

Taehyung shifted his weight. "That prank..." 

"I think it affected Yoongi-yah more than you, to be honest," Seokjin said. "He didn't have a problem with it when we were planning everything..."

"Jin-hyung, isn't this too private?" Jimin cut in again. "Isn't this something that we should leave between Hoseokie-hyung and Yoongi-hyung?"

Hoseok looked at Jimin. Of all the members he was probably the most likely to suspect something was going on between him and Yoongi. Was he covering for them?

The door to the green room opened with a loud bang and Yoongi reappeared turning to behind him. "I'LL JUST QUIT THEN, SHALL I?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! WILL THAT SOLVE EVERYTHING?!" 

The whole area fell silent at the force of Yoongi's voice. 

He spun around and his eyes found Hoseok. "And what about you?! Are you okay with this?!"

Hoseok slowly got to his feet, feeling that it wasn't right to be sitting down in this situation but didn't say anything. 

"Am I going crazy right now?" Yoongi said looking around at the members. "Are you all just going to stand around staring? Someone say something before I really do go crazy!" 

"Yoongi-hyung..." Again, it was Jimin who stepped forward towards Yoongi and reached out a hand. "Lets all calm down a bit and not make anything worse. You didn't do anything wrong. Come sit down for a second and then let's just go home." He put an arm around Yoongi's shoulder and guided him over to the group just as the manager walked through the door looking fed up with the situation. 

All the members suddenly began talking at once as Yoongi stopped in front of Hoseok. "I'm sorry. I think I made it awkward for you." 

Hoseok shook his head. "No, no, no...it's okay." 

 

***

 

"No, no..." Yoongi rolled over in his bed. "Let's just go to sleep." He sat up abruptly and cocked his head to the side. "Will it be okay to leave it?" He lay back down and looked at the ceiling. "It'll be okay. I should sleep...sleep is important. I love sleeping." After about a minute his sat up again and ruffled his hair in frustration. "Aish! This is annoying!"

"Yah! You're annoying!" Seokjin also sat up. "Can you please decide what you're going to do and just do it and stop making so much noise! I really do like sleeping so, please, be quiet!" 

Yoongi jutted out his bottom lip in a pout, still unsure of what to do. "Hyuuuung, what should I do? I'm sure Seok-ah feels burdened by me. Should I go talk to him?"

"I'm sure Hoseok-ah is as asleep as I'd like to be right now." Seokjin said, annoyed. "You should go to sleep and sort it out in the morning."

"No...no, no...Seok-ah wouldn't be asleep yet." Yoongi swung his legs of the side off the bed and his feet met the floor. "I'm going to go talk to him." 

 

***

 

"Hoseokie-hyung, I don't want to pry or anything but...why do you think Yoongi-hyung got so upset with that host?" Jimin was sitting cross legged on his bed, unable to sleep. "He's usually really good at keeping it cool."

"I think...it's probably complicated..." Hoseok answered, also sitting with his back against the wall on Jimin's bed. 

"Do you think...perhaps...maybe Yoongi-hyung has feelings for you?" 

Hoseok looked at Jimin who was staring down at the bed, his hair hanging down over his face making it hard to read his expression. "I don't think...you shouldn't misunderstand what you've seen. Last night for example...we were just talking, it was nothing weird." 

Jimin nodded. "I shouldn't jump to conclusions," he said with a slight pause. "Do you think...maybe Yoongi-hyung likes guys?" 

There was a slight quiver in Jimin's voice but he still didn't look up. 

"Uuuh...I don't know? Maybe? Maybe not? I guess if he did, that could be a reason for him to get angry with that host." Hoseok didn't really believe it. He was sure that the reason why Yoongi had responded to him by avoiding him was because he was uncomfortable with the idea of being liked by a guy and the only reason he decided to fix things between them was because he felt guilty. "Jimin-ah...are you okay?" 

"Why are you asking about me at a time like this?" Jimin spoke a little too quickly as he looked up. He couldn't look Hoseok in the eyes. "Sorry...I mean...I'm fine. We should be focusing on sorting out Yoongi-hyung." 

At that moment, the bedroom door burst open to reveal Yoongi. He paused and looked between the two of them before walking over and tightly grabbing Hoseok by the wrist, pulling him from the bed. 

"Hyung...yah...what..." Hoseok couldn't form a sentence. 

"Yoongi-hyung, what are you doing? It's late." Jimin got up as Yoongi pulled Hoseok towards the door, ignoring both of them. "Hyung!" 

Hoseok didn't resist Yoongi as he lead him down the hall and opened the door. "My shoes..." 

Yoongi did not stop to allow Hoseok to put on his shoes and didn't slow his pace until they were at the door to the roof. He opened the door and closed it once they were through, finally letting go of Hoseok's wrist.

"Hyung, what's this about? You could've just said you wanted to talk and I would've come out," Hoseok said walking a bit away from Yoongi. "Jimin-ah might worry." 

Yoongi stood still, staring at Hoseok, his expression intense and serious. 

Hoseok shifted uncomfortably, glancing from side to side and finding it hard to meet Yoongi's gaze. "Do you have something to say to me?" He looked at his bare feet. "You didn't even let me get my shoes..."

It happened so fast, Yoongi was standing in front of Hoseok, wrapping his arms around him; their lips coming in contact, Yoongi's eyes closed gently while Hoseok's were wide open. The world seemed to spin around them, and Hoseok could feel Yoongi's heart beating strong and fast against his body while his own was at risk of escaping his chest. 

Before he realised what he was doing, Hoseok pushed Yoongi away, taking several steps back. Their eyes met, an expression of realisation spread across Yoongi's face at what he had just done. 

"Seok-ah...I'm sorry...I don't know what I was thinking...I didn't mean to do it..." Yoongi paused, his brow furrowing. "Or maybe I did, I don't know!" 

Hoseok watched Yoongi cautiously as he battled with his own emotions. What? ...what? The adrenaline pumping through his veins was making him feel nauseous, his body felt weak, like all the sleepless nights were finally catching up with him.

"Seok-ah...I...say something...please..." Yoongi pleaded, looking desperate. 

Seok-ah, say something, please. But this was different to the last time. 

"Why? Why did you do that?" Hoseok was barely able to get the words out, his thoughts were unclear like his head was surrounded by a thick fog. 

Yoongi opened his mouth to respond but closed it, seemingly unsure of what to say. A minute felt like a day as neither of them spoke and he tried to understand his actions. He pulled himself up, straightening his shoulders. "I like you." It was obvious he decided to be nonchalant about it but he wasn't pulling it off very well.

Hoseok stared blankly at Yoongi, watching his confidence slowly slip away and his posture fall. He wasn't sure how to approach this situation. It didn't have the same feeling as the last time when Yoongi had pretended to like him; he was pretty sure this was genuine. It didn't make it any easier to process. 

"I'm seriously going crazy right now," Yoongi said, breaking the silence. "Hoseok-ah...you're really hurting my pride." 

Hoseok's feet seemed to move on their own as they carried him towards Yoongi. Yoongi looked up at Hoseok as he stopped within inches of him and lifted a hand to his cheek. Their eyes closed simultaneously as Hoseok leaned in, feeling Yoongi's breath on his lips and pausing. In that moment, Yoongi closed the gap between them. 

Yoongi's lips were soft and gentle against Hoseok's. Hoseok felt Yoongi's arms loop around his waist, his hands on his back pulling him closer, their bodies pressing together. Hoseok ran his fingers through his hyung's smooth hair as their lips parted and closed together. 

Time ran away as the two were completely absorbed in the moment. When they finally parted, neither knew how long they had been their together. A small chuckle escaped Yoongi's lips and he looked down, resting his forehead on Hoseok's shoulder. 

"I guess we should probably go back in," said Hoseok finally as he held his hyung and the back of his head. "Jimin is probably worried."

"He would've came after us if he was that worried," Yoongi said showing no sign of releasing Hoseok. 

Hoseok let his head rest against Yoongi's. "I'm not so sure...even so...we should go back." 

Yoongi gave Hoseok a tight squeeze before finally releasing him and stepping away. "Well...this was nice. Why didn't we do this before?" He laughed as Hoseok frowned at him. "I'm joking, I'm joking...sorry I took so long. Let's go back in." 

They slowly walked hand-in-hand from the roof of the building back to their dorm, not needing to speak and just enjoying each other's company. They came to a halt in front of Yoongi's room and looked at each other. 

Yoongi stepped closer and hugged Hoseok. "Goodnight," he said quietly. "Try to get some sleep...and dream of me." 

Hoseok smiled. "I'm already dreaming of you, hyung. Sleep well." 

"Hyung! What happened? What did Yoongi-hyung want?" Jimin sat up as soon as the door opened. 

Hoseok walked to his bed and climbed in. "You didn't have to wait up. You should've gone to sleep." He said as he lay down trying not to betray any of his current emotions. 

"I couldn't help it. I was worried...Yoongi-hyung looked really serious and with what happened earlier...I was just worried is all." Jimin lay back down and rolled onto his side to look at Hoseok. "Are you okay?" 

Hoseok allowed himself to smile at Jimin. "I'm very okay. Let's get some sleep." 

Jimin still looked concerned and perhaps a little...upset? He reached over and turned off the lamp. "Goodnight, hyung." 

"Goodnight, Jimin-ah." 

 

***

 

Yoongi released Hoseok and opened his bedroom door as Hoseok turned away and walked down the hall. When he could no longer see the other, he entered his room, closed the door and jumped onto his bed, a wide grin spread across his face. He covered his mouth with his hand, afraid of bursting into laughter and waking Seokjin again. Rolling onto his side, he pulled the blankets up around his face and squeezed his eyes shut but he couldn't lie still with all the energy and excitement running through him. He kicked his feet and rolled onto his other side, and then onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Yah, Yoongi-yah!" 

"Sorry, hyung." 

 

***

 

The next morning, all of the members of BTS, apart from Hoseok, sat around the table eating breakfast. 

Yoongi cleared his throat and looked at Jimin. "Where is Hoseok?" he asked trying to keep a straight face and his voice steady. 

"He's sleeping so no one wake him," Jimin replied putting a spoonful of rice in his mouth.

"I'm awake."

Everyone turned to look in the direction of the voice as Hoseok walked over to join them at the table. 

Yoongi stood and all eyes turned to him. "You were sleeping?" 

Hoseok nodded. "Yes, Yoongi-hyung, that's usually what people do at nighttime." He sat down next to Jimin and Jungkook. 

After a moment, Yoongi also sat back down. "That's a relief." He  looked up as he had a mouthful of sweet potato to the gaze of Jimin who quickly turned away to talk to Hoseok. 

"Your mood seems to have improved this morning," Seokjin commented to Yoongi. 

"Hyung, I'm so tired. I hardly slept at all last night," Yoongi pouted. 

Seokjin glared at Yoongi. "I know. You could at least leave the room if you're not going to be quiet." 

"Yoongi-yah, did you keep Jin-hyung up all night?" Namjoon laughed nudging Yoongi with his elbow. "Did something happen?"

Yoongi glanced in Hoseok's direction and their eyes met briefly before they both smiled and looked to their food. I get to see that smile every day...

 

***********************

 

 

Hello, munchkins! ❤️

I hope you enjoyed "Free", the final part to "Withdrawn" and "Hope". Let me know what you think and feel free to comment your theories/thoughts on any sections because, guess what?! I'm going to continue the story! I'm leaving Hoseok and Yoongi alone for the time being. They've found a good place with each other and now it's Jimin's time to shine. Jimin will be the main focus in the next installation of this story so be sure to watch out for it and subscribe so you don't miss updates!

love you all!

Peace out ❤️