Yebin would very much consider herself to be a dreamer. She kind of has to be, when she's a seventeen-year-old girl who likes girls and can’t do much about it.

Besides, dreaming makes it easier to live through such a disappointing reality at least.

...

Heavenly, like the chime of bells, and sweet, like honey; it has Yebin’s ears pricking up in sudden interest as she halts in the middle of the empty hallway.

Her lips move on its own, silently synching with the familiar lyrics that she has listened to countless times before. It happens to be her favourite, after all.

Yebin lets herself follow the singing voice, taking tentative steps as she pays careful attention to where the strumming of guitar is coming from. Unsurprisingly, it leads her right to the music room. The door is wide open, letting the voice drift through the open space and flow down the hallway like a stream.

She peaks through the window, eyes barely past the frame. When she catches a glimpse of the songbird, Yebin thinks she can feel her eyes turning into hearts.

Now Yebin would be too shy to admit such sentimentality, but she can be quite the romantic too. She daydreams of young love and soft hands to hold, a voice that will sing her favourite songs to her and tuck her hair behind her ears when it falls over her eyes.

Her cheeks glow red just thinking about it.

But like glass shattering, snapping back to reality has the voice in her head reminding her that all her pipe dreams are exactly what they are: unattainable and unrealistic. Just a castle in the air.

Because the hands she pictures are slender and the voice is airy and light; sure, times may be changing, but liking girls is still not something she can share openly without worrying.

So she keeps her desires to herself. There are a lot of pretty girls at her school, but she knows better than to fall for any of them. Love at first sight is one cliché Yebin can appreciate, but would never actually imagine herself in such a situation.

However, peeking through that window and seeing the long-haired girl sing like a nightingale, Yebin thinks she has fallen into one of her daydreams.

Because seeing the prettiest girl with the prettiest voice singing her favourite song all alone in a music room is something ordinary high school student Yebin didn’t think she’d ever experience.

Needless to say, she’s only an onlooker watching a spectacle play in front of her, not a girl on a balcony listening to a serenade. So when the girl in the room strums to end the song, Yebin holds back from bursting in and giving her a round of well-deserved applause.

Instead, she sneaks into the empty room across, waits for the girl to slip out of the music room before tiptoeing in. Scurrying over to where the guitar sits in the open case, Yebin leaves a note in her neatest handwriting for the girl to find.

She writes to the pretty stranger about how lovely and sweet her voice is and how it’s exactly what Yebin hears floating through her castle in the air.

Corny.

Yebin sneaks out before the girl returns.

...

With a browse of the yearbook, Yebin finds out that the pretty stranger’s name is Minkyung. She’s a year older, which makes Yebin sulk, for how could she grow an interest on a senior who’s already in her last year of high school? (It seems highly inconvenient…)

The presence of her smiling face on all the previous group pictures tells Yebin that Minkyung has been in the music club ever since her first year of high school. Yebin briefly wonders if it’s too late to join the music club…

She keeps her eye out for Minkyung whenever she’s at school. The junior and senior homerooms are at separate parts of the school, but Yebin takes the time to pass through the music hallway more often and sneak a peek in hopes of catching a glance at the pretty stranger.

Minkyung stays in the music room by herself everyday after school. Sometimes, Yebin hears her singing, other times she’s just playing guitar, and often times she’s studying quietly.

It differs everyday, but every time, Yebin always makes sure to leave a note for Minkyung. And it’s always compliments or some words of encouragement. She doesn’t stick around to see Minkyung find the notes in fear that she'll be found out, so Yebin can only hope that the girl is receiving them.

Sometimes, it worries her; does Minkyung even read them? Is all her effort going to waste? Is this only fulfilling for her? Is Minkyung annoyed?

One day, she finally gets her answer.

‘You’re too sweet. Thank you for giving me strength! Whoever you are!’

Written in neat, clear letters that has Yebin feeling sheepish over her own chicken scratch. A cute smiley face is doodled at the end of the message. The tips of Yebin’s lips reach her ears in a wide grin as she picks up the note Minkyung had left for her.

She hastily trashes her original note (with some mawkish words of motivation) and writes a new one on the spot.

‘Hearing your voice energizes me after a tired day at school. Today, too, you’ve worked hard! Don’t forget to take breaks.’

Yebin tacks on her own version of a smiley face and leaves the note on the guitar case. She rushes out before anyone else finds her in the room, clutching Minkyung’s note for her tightly in her palm.

...

The exchange of memos becomes regular.

For Yebin, it began with just motivating remarks and kind compliments to uplift the tired Minkyung, who Yebin knows is working hard preparing for college entrance exams and auditions.

For Minkyung, it began with simple words of gratitude and written chuckles as a show of her appreciation. And truth be told, she liked receiving such sweet words everyday anyways.

But as it became more recurrent with the passing weeks, those initial words faded into the background and there emerged real topics of conversations. They would exchange notes back and forth as if they were texting on KakaoTalk. Words have turned to slang. Formal speech has turned casual.

Yebin finds herself having full conversations on a regular basis with her crush. It’s fun, of course. Even if Minkyung doesn’t know who she is (and really, Yebin is amazed she hasn’t been caught), she leaves notes as if she’s been friends with Yebin for years.

Through all the note-passing, they learn about each other more intimately than Yebin ever has with a friend face to face.

She tells Minkyung of how she tends to rub her arms when she’s lying; Minkyung tells her it’s cute and that she’s a pretty good liar herself (with a cheeky wink drawn at the side).

Yebin writes to her about her favourite thing on the menu at the café across the school; Minkyung writes back with a promise that they should go there together one day.

Yebin tells her that her favourite song is ‘Lost Stars’; Minkyung tells her it's her favourite too (and when Yebin starts hearing Minkyung sing the song more often in the music room, she goes home grinning like an idiot every time).

Through all the note-passing, Yebin feels as if she’s falling deeper. How could such a perfect girl exist? And how amazing of a person was Yebin in her previous life that she deserves a blessing like this?

Yebin admits it’s corny, but Minkyung’s the absolute girl of her dreams; the one who would hold her hand and sing to her, tuck her hair behind her ear and lie with her in her castle in the air.

She saves all of Minkyung’s notes, tacking them onto the bulletin board in her bedroom that was supposed to be for school notes and reminders.

Yebin would much rather look up and see Minkyung’s cute messages on torn pieces of paper anyways. They gave her better motivation in studying than any silly encouraging notes she’s ever written for herself.

...

Kyungwon finds Minkyung staring starry-eyed at a piece of paper when she enters the music room.

She waves her hand in front of the girl. “Earth to Kim Minkyung?”

Minkyung’s head snaps up.

“What are you looking at?” Kyungwon asks, but doesn’t give Minkyung the chance to answer as she snatches the note from her hand and reads it out loud herself. “’I made you a mixtape with all the songs I listen to whenever I study. I hope they’ll help you focus! Hang in there.’”

Minkyung audibly lets out a soft sigh as she looks up at her friend with a dopey smile.

Kyungwon, on the other hand, lets out a gruff snort. “A mixtape? Oh my god, it’s 2017. Do you even own a Walkman? I’m pretty sure cassette decks went extinct at the same time as dinosaurs.”

Minkyung rises from her seat and snatches the paper back with a hmph. “Shut up, it’s the sweetest thing ever.” She lets out another content sigh as she gazes at the note. “I’m charmed, Kyungwon. Charmed.”

“You don’t even know who it is.”

Minkyung frowns. “I know. That’s why you,” she pokes Kyungwon on the forehead, “will help me figure out who our Mr. Perfect here is.”

Kyungwon swats her finger away. “Can’t he just talk to you in person? Why does he have to leave notes like we’re living in a romantic drama?” she grumbles, “It’s cowardly, if you ask me.”

“You’re just jealous,” Minkyung tells her with a scoff. “No one’s leaving you sweet notes.”

Kyungwon just replies with a grumble of words, but Minkyung makes out a ‘you’re half right…’ in the barely inaudible mumble and breaks into laughter.

“To start, maybe it’s someone in the music club? They must know which one’s my guitar case because they always leave the notes there.”

“Hmm...Jihoon?”

Minkyung can’t hide the awfully honest grimace that forms on her face. “I hope not. I tower over him by like six whole centimetres. Not that I have anything against short people, they can be quite cute too...” she shrugs, "but he's not my type."

Her friend snorts as she swings a leg over a chair. “What about that guy you always work with for composition assignments?”

Minkyung dismisses him too with a shake of the head. “No, it can’t be him. I’m familiar with Seungkwan’s handwriting.”

“Ah! That junior who gave you a gift on pepero day last year!” Kyungwon claps her hands as if she just had a eureka moment.

“He moved…” Minkyung shudders at the thought of him, “and he was weird. He gave me a photograph of himself.”

Kyungwon scrunches her nose. “This won’t do. Every boy in the music club probably likes you,” she groans, sinking further into the chair before suddenly jumping up again. “I have an idea. We have to catch them red-handed. Sometimes they leave notes just after the last bell, right? We just have to get to the music room earlier.”

Minkyung gives her good friend an approving nod as they exchange high-fives. “I don’t know how I didn’t think of that earlier, but this is why two brains are better than one.”

...

Yebin’s whistling, note in hand, as she catches a glimpse at the clock. She has about ten minutes before Minkyung arrives at the music room. It’s cutting it close– usually, she’s much earlier just to be safe– but she heard the seniors were being held up by a meeting so perhaps she can afford to be a bit late today.

But nearing the open door to the music room, Yebin comes to a halt when she hears two voices inside. A quick peak has her seeing Minkyung with a short-haired girl fooling around with some drums.

Yebin tiptoes away from the door and scurries away. Bad timing...

...

Yebin pins another ‘Can’t you tell me who you are?’ note from Minkyung on her bulletin board with a sigh. It’s the third one that’s been left for her and again, for the third time, it goes unanswered.

...

This time, Yebin approaches the music room tentatively, clutching a new note in her palm. She quickens her pace a bit when she hears nothing but silence in the hallway.

Suddenly, a pair of footsteps fade into her attention and Yebin whips her head around just in time to see Kyungwon and Minkyung scurry past her in a hurry, her shoulder brushing with the latter. Yebin slows down in surprise. 

“Quick, we might catch them if they’re in the room right now!” she hears Kyungwon whisper to Minkyung as the two disappear into the corner, completely oblivious to the short girl they just ran past.

Yebin widens her eyes as she spins on her heels immediately, walking away from the direction of the music room.

Not today either...

...

‘How about a hint? What does your last name start with?’

Every time Minkyung asks her such questions, Yebin always tries to give Minkyung a response that dances around them.

‘Isn’t this more fun if we don’t know?’…‘I’m embarrassed to show you my face, you’re too pretty’…’What if I’m not your style? Maybe you won’t like me like I like you.’

Sometimes, she’s tempted to just completely expose herself, admit that ‘yes, my name is Kang! Ye! Bin! Class 2-3! Student number twelve! Kang Yebin from Ilsan!’.

It's especially tempting when Minkyung would leave her with replies like, ‘I want to see you’…’I get shy if you say things like that. Such a sweet person like you shouldn’t be embarrassed’…‘Hey, you are completely my style’ (with ‘completely’ underlined in red pen – that one had Yebin smiling her entire way home until her cheeks hurt).

But Yebin stops herself every time because just as she starts to revel in her dreams, the disenchanting reality reels her back whenever she strays too far away from it. And reality comes in the form of Minkyung herself, ironically, and a certain word that she writes.

It’s only one word, but Yebin hates seeing it so much that she scratches it out every time before putting the notes up on her board:

Boys.

Yebin groans every time she sees it. It sticks out like a sore thumb in her eyes – a wilting flower in a field of blooming vivid petals, ruining everything around it. But Minkyung tosses the word around so freely, threatening to spoil the garden like an oblivious pest.

‘...All the unattractive boys in this school don’t seem like the sentimental type that you are...’

‘...There aren’t a lot of boys who can charm me, you know...’

‘...I’ll only tell you my ideal type of man if you tell me your ideal type first! Do I fit the description? Haha...’

Yebin likes girls so much that just seeing that word annoys her. But who can she blame other than herself? Minkyung doesn’t even know her. Yebin sees it as her fault for falling for a straight girl anyways.

Minkyung doesn’t need to know who she is. It’s better this way: anonymous and free of judgement.

But when Minkyung’s notes increasingly press her with questions and requests to unveil her identity, Yebin eventually grows tired of trying to misdirect them.

So one day, Yebin just stops.

She folds the new blue stationery from Minkyung (‘why are you so secretive? Just once, I’d like to see you, even for a second’), tucks it into her pocket, and leaves the room quietly without leaving a new note.

...

“If you don’t stop pouting, your lips will permanently look like that.”

Minkyung lifts her head from the desk to look at Kyungwon directly. “They haven’t replied in nearly a week. Do you think they went somewhere? No, he would’ve told me if he went somewhere…”

“Did you do something to upset them?”

“I don’t know,” Minkyung sighs as she directs her gaze to the group of boys playing in the field outside. “Hey, do you think it’s a soccer player? Maybe he’s too busy playing to leave me notes. Ah, look at them play in such cold weather…It’s autumn already. I’m worried about him.”

Kyungwon grimaces and hits her on the arm. “Stop before I throw up. You’re acting as if you know he’s really a soccer player… And since when did you get so gross and…and…in love?”

“Hey!” Minkyung whips her head to face her, expression contorted in embarrassed disbelief, “who said I was in love?!”

“I did. If you’re not, then quit acting like you are,” Kyungwon shakes her head. “I’m surprised you even have time to think about dating when we’re third years. You should be busier than I am! High school is supposed to be brutal. The depictions on dramas are all fake! Romance doesn’t exist here. We’re supposed to study until we drop dead.”

Minkyung rolls her eyes at Kyungwon’s barrage of attacks. “Don’t be so cynical. Unlike you, I can balance my priorities. Let me enjoy myself, I gotta have fun too…”

Kyungwon blinks at her before reaching over to give her friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Fine, fine, our lovely Minkyung deserves her fun for all her hard work too. Go find your Mr. Perfect or whatever. Don’t spend Christmas alone like me.”

Minkyung lets out a chuckle as her eyes drift back to the window. She can only faintly hear the rest of her classmates file into the classroom. It all sounds like just a distinct murmur. The uneasiness in the pit of her stomach returns.

...

“Good afternoon, friends. Happy lunch time. The following song was requested along with a special message, so listen carefully,” comes a voice from the school speakers, “'I miss talking to you. Please write back'.”

A short pause follows the announcer’s voice, static, and then the strumming at the beginning of ‘Lost Stars’ plays over the PA system.

And just like all those weeks ago when Yebin first heard the same familiar chords playing from the music room, her ears prick up in sudden interest. She comes to a halt in the hallway as other students run past her towards the cafeteria.

Yebin can’t resist the smile spreading on her face. The heat climbs up her neck, to her cheeks, up until the shell of her ears are red too. She braces herself over a window sill, humming along to Adam’s sweet voice and bringing her hands up to shield her cheeks. If she grows any redder, people might think she drank alcohol.

Yebin feels like swooning. Her castle in the air has been too awfully close to the ground lately.

...

Kyungwon laughs when she hears the message broadcasted over the PA system for everyone in the school to hear.

“You’re so corny,” she says to Minkyung.

Minkyung sticks her tongue out. “Shut up.”

She smiles to herself.

...

‘You miss me? I knew you were a romantic.’

Minkyung quietly squeals to herself in the empty music room upon seeing the new piece of paper on top of her guitar case. Her message worked on the mysterious note writer.

She eagerly grabs her guitar and begins practicing with a smile on her face. Her fingers move on their own and she plays each chord of her audition song effortlessly in the absence of sheet music. 

The euphoria of falling– admiration– evaporates any feelings of tiredness from her. She hasn't experienced anything like this ever. 

Minkyung thinks she can get used to this.

...

She blinks at the boy in the soccer uniform in front of her. He had a ball tucked under one arm and a practice bag hanging off the other shoulder.

“What?” she re-iterates.

“I like you. Didn’t you say you missed talking to me?”

“…It’s you?” Minkyung asks.

He grins at her, eyes turning into crescents. “Do you want to practice together? I want to hear you sing. Up close, this time.”

Minkyung breaks into an earnest smile, her heart swelling.

...

It’s not the first time Yebin has heard two voices coming from the music room on her way there, but it is the first time hearing a male voice.

They sing in perfect harmony, like two birds perched on a branch at dawn.

Yebin doesn’t like being petulant, but she can’t hold back the frown forming on her lips when she peeks just over the window ledge and sees Minkyung singing ‘Lost Stars’ with a boy Yebin has never seen before.

It seems like a trivial thing, but Yebin’s always considered it to be their song, as in hers and Minkyung’s only. It feels weird seeing her sing their song with someone else. Yebin doesn’t like the knot forming in her stomach very much.

She turns around and walks away without leaving a new note. Yebin knows she has skipped too many days with her notes, but she’s used to it by now.

...

Much to Yebin’s misfortune, the music room that day didn’t turn out to be the last time she’d see Minkyung and the boy again.

Nowadays, she sees them walking down the hallways together, always caught up in lively conversation. Sometimes, they sit together at the cafeteria and eat on their own, always sharing food. Other times, Yebin would catch Minkyung watching from the stands by the soccer field, always with a water bottle in hand to readily give to the same boy every time he broke off from playing with his friends.

It only hits Yebin one day on her way to the music room, when she sees them leave the room hand in hand. As they pass her, Yebin could only catch a tidbit of their conversation; it seems like they were heading to the café across the school, the same one Minkyung had promised Yebin they’d visit together in a written note. 

Yebin would be lying if she admitted she didn’t feel a pang in her chest every time she saw them together with bright smiles on their faces. She likes Minkyung, after all. She finally had a face for the pretty girl in her dreams, but she can no longer daydream in peace without the boy invading all of her thoughts and taking Minkyung away just before she'd tuck hair behind Yebin's ear or hold her hand. 

Even if Minkyung may not know what Yebin looks like, they know each other. They do. 

But she doesn’t do anything. It’s not her place to intrude; Yebin’s not a homewrecker. So she stops the note-writing. Minkyung doesn’t leave notes for her either, nor does Yebin hear any more ‘Lost Stars’ playing on the school speakers with a special message just for her.

Yebin takes this as the opportunity to finally move on. Perhaps she shouldn’t have started it in the first place. She blames herself for falling for a straight girl anyway.

How could I be so impulsive? I should’ve seen this coming. She’d never truly like me.

...

“Man, you’ve got it good.”

“How’d you do it?”

“You chased after her for a year and finally! Wow. She’s the prettiest girl in our whole damn year, Seokmin!”

“How can you score both on and off the field? It’s not fair.”

The boys’ rowdy exchange down the hallway has Yebin wanting to bang her head against her books. With her notes sprawled on the floor in front of her, she just wanted some quiet study time out in the hallway before the bell rings.

“Eh, it was nothing,” she hears the boy say to his noisy friends. Yebin looks up to see that it’s him; the dragon who snatched Minkyung from Yebin’s castle in the air.

She grimaces. The name Seokmin always left an unpleasant taste on her tongue. What does Minkyung see in him anyways? Other than the fact that he has a nice singing voice, a charming eye smile, and is a star soccer player known by everyone in the school– well, he’s not that amazing… she thinks.

“What can I say? She fell for my charms, that’s all,” he says smugly. Yebin visibly shudders to herself. Gross.

“She looks at you like you just bought her an island. Can’t you tell me your secret to winning her over? I could use some tips…” one boy says and winces when the others hit him on the back in laughter.

“You sound real pathetic.”

“It wasn’t hard. She already liked me, I could tell,” Seokmin replies. And Yebin rolls her eyes so hard, she feels like she can see the inside of her head. “I found out her favourite song. But you guys wanna know the real secret?”

From the corner of her eye, Yebin sees him lean closer to his friends, but he doesn’t make much of an effort to be discrete with his words.

“Someone was leaving notes for her. I would see them on her guitar case. I don’t know who it was, but I told her it was me. She thinks I’m the sweetest guy she’s ever met,” he smirks. 

Yebin freezes.

“What kind of notes?”

He shrugs. “Nice ones,” then he breaks into a laugh. “I could tell... Someone else in this school has got it bad. Like, completely head over heels for her.”

“What the hell, man? You took credit for it? Won't she kill you if she finds out?!”

“Hey! I just saw my chance and took it. Don’t blame me, I’ve liked her for a year. If this guy really liked her as much as I did, he should’ve just talked to her in person. Not my fault he’s a coward,” he scoffs. “She won’t find out. She likes me. And I didn't have to find the guy either, he just stopped leaving notes himself. Lucky for me. It made things real easy.”

Yebin’s jaw tenses. Gathering all of her notebooks from the floor, she gets on her feet and stomps away. She couldn’t listen any longer.

...

It was completely impulsive, perhaps even selfish, of Yebin to leave Minkyung a note so out of the blue, especially since it’s been days since they stopped writing. But Minkyung doesn’t deserve to be lied to.

Yebin makes her handwriting clear.

‘It’s not me. The boy you’re with.’