You = Depression/Darker Side of Jonghyun, everytime you is said I am speaking to the the monster that has overtaken Jonghyun.

♦

Breathing should be the one thing your able to do if you are living. Your body is designed to naturally intake oxygen, right? If this is the case how is it that I can never seem to quite get enough it. Why is this simple task so hard? Why can't I breathe?

If I cant breathe am I really even alive at all?

What is the difference of being alive and dead at this moment?

I can't seem to find the energy I need to go on.

If I did it, would I finally feel free from the cycle I tried so desprately to break?

Would I finally feel peace, a sense of content, instead of the misery and pain from the inability to be what the world wanted me to be? What I wanted me to be. Instead I'm not no matter how hard I continuously to try to be. Is that really me or is it the monster who haunts me in my every waking moment, Depression. I didn't want 'it' to win but I can no longer fight this thing which has become bigger than me, which has become me.

I voice and voice and yet I'm never heard.

Look at myself, I dont want to.

I'm scared of myself, scared of what I have become.

What do I do if have ran out of solutions to my problem.

I can't think properly anymore.

Was I the only one who could see and feel that life was too bleak.

Life was too hard.

Life was too unfair.

Life always left you with nothing in return for all your efforts and hardwork.

You made me believe that I wasn't meant for this world, it was me who could not handle it. Unable to remeber or look at the memories that once proved me wrong and that was what life was not. 

I'm not broken.

Bruised, beaten and scared, yes.

You made me incapable

You made me incompetent.

You made me alone.

You made me feel all of these things, though it may not be true, you made it true to me.

How do you run from yourself?

I'm somehow unacceptable and not enough, even though I always was.

My perfections are apart of what made me who I am. I have built a life full of purpose, I have inspired and given strength to many. My writing, my songs, my voice, I showed the world who I really was. I showed them my heart, a heart filled with endless warmth. I worked hard, I fought hard and this isn't the end, and you didn't win. For now I am just resting, this is a battle I will win, this is a battle I have won.