In the 6^th year since their debut, Yongsun gets caught in a dating scandal. Or, it’s not really a scandal, because Yongsun and the company very cleanly and softly deliver the news, but she’s an idol. Everything is a scandal.

Crushed, my heart is broken. Solar how could you ㅠㅠ

Why did this happen?? I am so sad ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Her reputation’s gonna die. Dating? Should know better. I give up.

I still love you Solar!!!

She had expected negative feedback, a lot of it, but there was less backlash than she had anticipated. Somehow, despite that, it still hurt. She was a human being, and almost 30 years old to boot. Shouldn’t she be allowed to love?

But she loved her fans dearly too. She loved the ones who understood, and she even still loved the ones who got angry, because she could understand, to some degree, the feeling of betrayal that comes simply from realizing that the people you idolize are human too.

She’s home alone and she reads the news, the comments, and she feels bad. And as always, like telepathy, Byulyi arrives and pretends to annoy her when Yongsun clearly knows she’s just trying to make her feel better.

When Yongsun takes a shower, Byulyi gives her a glamorous photoshoot afterwards. Soon enough she’s changing through different pajama sets and onesies and dancing like she’s the iest woman alive and Byulyi jumps around with the camera to get all her best and worst angles. She’s happy, and tired. Byulyi singing her praises fills her up with love and assurance. They throw all the comforters she has onto her queen bed and Byulyi fluffs them around her so much she feels like she’s sleeping on a cloud. That night, amidst the thousands of posts in mourning of Solar’s status as single, there’s an update in the fancafe. A simple picture of Solar in silk white pajamas, melting into her bed, face bare and hair tangled and just a hint of a smile.

A woman of many charms
Solar-unnie who loves Moomoos dearly!
Moomoos rest well tonight too, the sun is setting

(Posted without permission, ㅋㅋㅋ)

#1 Yong-fan MB

Before she falls asleep that night, Yongsun feels a kiss on her temple.

-

Seven months later, a month after their latest comeback, Solar ends up on the news again.

MAMAMOO Solar ends relationship after 7 months!

It happens because of Byulyi, of course. The news part, not the breakup.

They’re in her apartment, doing a VLive because it’s been a couple of weeks since they got to interact with the fans. They were randomly humming and reading comments when Byulyi suddenly turned to her and looked just a bit too smug.

“Unnie how’s your love life?”

Yongsun glares at her, tries really hard to make it look real, but Byulyi opens her eyes wide and innocent and she cracks.

It feels just like when she explained her Best Couple Award with Eric a few years ago. She’s happy it happened, but she doesn’t really think she should talk about it, especially to Moomoos. But as usual, Byulyi is tactless and blunt.

“It’s nice right? Being single.”

“Okay, Byul-ah. Whatever you want me to say, Byul-ah.”

But she giggles and leans her head on Byulyi’s shoulder anyway.

ㅋㅋㅋ forgot she even had a bf

Was the bf even real? ㅋㅋㅋ never saw him ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Moonbyul looks so happy <3

Solar please go out with me!!!

Did Moonbyul scare him away? Yongfan Byulie won’t have it

He was real. They didn’t break up because of Byulyi, and the thought of it makes her laugh. They had gotten together because he had understood. He understood she wasn’t just personality extremities packed into one, that flipped like the page of a book depending on what outfit she had on. She was multifaceted and human, just like anyone else. He saw that, and he dropped his ideals and his expectations and got to know her, and she really, really liked that. So, they dated.

If Yongsun could describe him in one word, it would be ‘compliant’.

There was once that she and Byulyi were taking a walk around their neighborhood. New lights had been strung about in preparation for the holidays and the twinkling canopy made their stroll a little bit magical. The lights had been out for a week already, but lately Byulyi had been busy working, trying to help produce an album. Yongsun wanted to see them with her first, so she waited.

The ran into him. Yongsun smiles, because they hadn’t met up in a while, only texting sweet nothings. Byulyi bows a little and greets him nicely. Yongsun goes for a hug and a kiss and they talk for a little bit before she realizes he wants to take this chance to spend time with her.

And she realizes she doesn’t really have the energy to be with him right then. She says something that’s subtly dismissive, and he smiles, because he understands, goes in for one last kiss (just on the cheek) and is on his way. Byulyi gives her a quick side-hug after he leaves, and they continue their walk undisturbed.

That’s when it starts for Yongsun. The realization that she doesn’t need him.

“Am I a bad girlfriend?”

“I don’t know Yeba, you’re not my girlfriend.”

Yongsun throws a pillow at her. “I’m being serious.”

Byulyi smiles and catches the pillow, because she saw it coming. “I am too. I don’t know if you’re a good girlfriend or not,” She reaches over and squishes Yongsun’s cheeks with both her hands. “But you’re a good person.”

Yongsun still looks unsure, so Byulyi pushes her cheeks around for extra measure and Yongsun lets her.

“You might even be the best person, unnie.”

The next day, she breaks up with him. He nods when she finishes talking, not like he’s sad, or conceding, but like he’s thanking her for her time. Yongsun looks into his eyes and sees that the more he understood who she really was, the more he probably realized they weren’t meant to be together. When they depart, he squeezes her hands (and his own are so much larger) and wishes her all the happiness in the world. She realizes she did love him, loved how he never pushed and loved him for the fact that he loved her too, despite the fact that they were never in love.

-

The first time Byulyi comes out with a relationship, they really can’t say they’re a girl group anymore. They haven’t technically disbanded, sure, but the last time they promoted as Mamamoo was a couple of years ago. They don’t really hit the news as hot topics, aside from when they release new music, or if Moonbyul and Solar star on yet another reality TV type of deal. They’re a duo that can’t be missed. Everyone knows, they’re just good together.

But when Byulyi’s relationship is revealed to the public it takes the industry by storm. She’s not the first to come out, but she’s the biggest name to do so. Legally it’s been okay for almost two years. Socially, things are still on the rocks.

It stresses her out so much, they break up a month later. The girl cries, and so does Byulyi. She spends the next few days at their company, and then Yongsun takes her home because she wrote six songs and they’re all sad and she hadn’t eaten in three days.

She wasn’t necessarily in love with the girl, but it was the first time in a long time that she let someone in like that, and in the end, she was the one to shove them back out into the cold. Byulyi thinks it proves her thoughts that she’s a bad person.

When Yongsun opens the door to her apartment, Daebakkie and Haengwoonie run circles around their ankles and jump up.

“I brought them over while you were gone.”

Byulyi kneels down to pet them and they stop jumping to at her palms. She can’t believe she left them while she was off being depressed on her own. It doesn’t make her feel better.

“Thank you, Yongsun-ah. I’m sorry you had to take care of them because of me.” Yongsun is quiet behind her. “I should have been better. They don’t deserve to be left alone.”

She feels arms slide around her sides and the gentle pressure of Yongsun leaning against her back.

“Byul,” She speaks softly. “You can’t be perfect. You can’t live your whole life without hurting others and being hurt. But you don’t have to punish yourself like this.” Yongsun slides one of her hands from Byulyi’s waist, to her hand that’s Daebakkie’s fur. “And you don’t have to be alone.”

Byulyi turns to her then and Yongsun can tell she’s ready for a real hug. They lose their balance and fall back against the wall, but Yongsun pulls Byulyi into her lap and Byulyi lays her head on the older woman’s chest and they stay like that for a bit, Yongsun Byulyi’s hair. Daebakkie and Haengwoonie snuggle themselves onto either side.

Byulyi stays with Yongsun, and after three months she cancels the lease on her own apartment. It’s a non-event, really. She’d told Yongsun she was going to save up and buy them a new TV, and Yongsun had jokingly asked her how she was going to do that when she was throwing money at an empty flat. Over the weekend they clear out her old place and donate away all the furniture what wouldn’t fit into Yongsun’s apartment. Their apartment.

-

At age 35, Byulyi officially claims that she’s off the market for dating. Really, she hasn’t seen anyone in over a year. But she makes the big sweeping statement to Yongsun one night when they’re doing a movie binge because Yongsun, yet again, got dumped.

“You know, I always thought Daeyoon was the best.” Yongsun sighs.

“But you still dumped him.”

“Exactly. But everyone since him, they hadn’t even understood me, or who I had to be. Maybe it’s unfair, but I can’t devote so much time to them like, I don’t know, other people can.” Yongsun doesn’t mention how she notices a pattern that they text her with anxious questions every time she’s with Byulyi, and how annoying it becomes. Every time it begins to fall apart she wonders why she started a relationship in the first place. But she’s 36, and she should be in a steady romance, even if she doesn’t feel like it.

Byulyi shifts so her body is facing Yongsun.

“Aren’t you tired of dating already? Yonghee-unnie’s got three kids now doesn’t she? I don’t think your parents are pestering you for children. There’s not anything pushing you to settle down.”

“What about you? Isn’t it weird that Seulgi has a son? Your younger sister got married and had a kid before you.” Yongsun huffs. “I feel like a relationship is the last thing I want, but shouldn’t I at least try?”

Byulyi shrugs. “My parents have stopped trying to tell me what to do. And I don’t know, I kind of realized I wasn’t really dating to make myself happy, I was just doing it because I thought I should be married by now, like a certain somebody,” She gives Yongsun a pointed look that the other woman pouts at. “Once I stopped trying to chase that idea…” Byulyi takes one of Yongsuns hands and lays it flat against her own. They look almost the same, except Yongsun’s palm is rounder.

“I don’t know. I’m happier now.” Byulyi interlaces their fingers and Yongsun feels something click. Like so many times, when their conversations become deep, Byulyi is right. Yongsun is happy now, happy in ways that she was always fighting to be when she was dating people. But right now, it’s effortless.

Yongsun hums in thought, but really she’s made up her mind, too, that she’ll stop looking around for something she doesn’t need. Everything that completes her, she already has. Her career, the people she loves

merry christmas my wonderful readers!