Minkyung Kim, Roa. 19 years old.
Queen of Everything.
 

Yaebin Kang, Rena. 17 years old.
Just Trying To Survive.

If we were to rely on good reasoning to govern our decisions, you probably wouldn't be here, we probably would not have met, and I probably wouldn't have fallen head over heels in love with you.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

They didn't get off on the right foot, her and Minkyung. The elder girl seemed to have it driven inside her pretty (read: gorgeous) lil head that despite her insistence and consistency in the practice room, Yaebin was still going to up and quit being a trainee any day now. Has the thought crossed her mind? Yes. Plenty of times. Will Yaebin actually do it?


Currently, highly unlikely.

It was starting to get fun, this trainee thing. Yaebin has spent 2 weeks staying back after practice to cram in a few extra one-on-one lessons with Minkyung and although initially the senior seemed to be completely displeased at the notion of being within feet of Yaebin's presence, she still corrected the newcomer's mistakes and it was starting to show. Yaebin was improving. She even received a few compliments during the last evaluation by the Talent Relations team.

Seeing an improvement was highly motivating to say the least. Yaebin would look forward to lessons now because it was like playing a video game. She would level up constantly and it was probably all thanks to Minkyung's skill and tutelage. She could tell even the taller girl seemed to notice Yaebin's change in attitude, because Minkyung isn't as harsh on her anymore. She wouldn’t really call Yaebin by name, but at least she’s stopped referring to her as "yah" or “it” or other various forms of derogatory nicknames.

It was an improvement. Yaebin takes her tiny victories in life.

Their interactions didn't seem to extend beyond the confines of Dance Studio 5 however. Minkyung doesn't really acknowledge her at school or if they were to bump into each other at the convenience store near their agency. Yaebin could accept that, she supposed. They didn't really have to be friends to train together. Yaebin learns through trainee gossip that most idols aren't even close to their groupmates. Strictly business relationships.

Seeing Minkyung dance her heart out during practice looking more ethereal than humanely possible in her element, Yaebin can't help but feel a little disappointed at only being a business partner to the girl. She wonders if Minkyung would ever look at her as if she was more than just a trainee that was in desperate need of guidance.

Just as that thought crossed her mind a rush of murmurs and whispers brought Yaebin back to the present, where she was currently seated at a table in the middle of her school's overcrowded cafeteria trying to fend off Kyungwon's attempts at stealing her lunch. Following the ruckus to the source, Yaebin watches as the crowd parts and makes way for one Kim Minkyung to walk through in all her slow-motion glory. Hair billowing in the wind as if she had her own special effects team and a cheesy 90's love song that apparently only Yaebin can hear in her own head serving as the moment's backing track. There wasn't even a window open. How the hell is her hair doing that?

Somehow even with the crowd around her Yaebin still manages to catch Minkyung's eye. The taller girl stared at her from across the cafeteria, and Yaebin didn't really know what else to do except give her sunbae an awkward wave. Minkyung just continued staring at her as if deliberating something before giving Yaebin a curt nod and walking away, tray in hand.

A nod. Yaebin was acknowledged by Minkyung outside of practice. She would punch the air in joy if the entire cafeteria wasn't already staring at her in jealousy. Guess they were wondering why Minkyung the Ice Queen nodded to this nobody's greeting.

“Holy what the hell was that?!”

Yaebin winces as Siyeon's shrill voice practically leaves her deaf in one ear.

"What was what?" Yaebin had to stifle her laugh when she turned to Siyeon to see her friend looking back at her completely bug-eyed.

“The Almighty Goddess™ responded to you!" Siyeon replied while repeatedly walloping Yaebin's shoulder. "What on earth have you been up to?! Is this what being a trainee is like?!”

“I’m healed. Just one smile and all my wounds are healed….” Kyungwon sighed dreamily as she stared at where Minkyung once stood.

“We bonded.” Yaebin grinned like an idiot seeing the looks of jealousy and despair her friends were giving her. “We have late night practice sessions now. I asked her to teach me some moves. It gets pretty...hands-on.” Yaebin ended it with a sly wink. Kyungwon's jaw dropped so fast Yaebin was surprised it didn't crash through the floor.

“You sly witch! I hate your guts but I’m also absolutely proud of you! Argh!! I can’t decide if I want to punch you or hug you!”

Over the ruckus the two girls were currently making, a soft voice addressed Yaebin from across the table. “How is practice going unnie? Adapted to trainee life yet? It's been awhile, hasn't it?”

Yaebin sighed, scratching her head because there really wasn't an easy answer to Kyla's question. "Urgh…I don’t know if that’s even a possibility. It’s incredibly hard. I puked twice during practice yesterday. They ask us to watch our weight and not eat that much, but then they throw us into 4 hour dance lessons which needs more energy than my body is capable of producing.”

“Maybe you should start jogging on the weekends. We’ll join you! It’ll be fun! You can invite the other trainees!”

“I sense an ulterior motive from Siyeon-unnie….” Kyla mutters under her breath as she usually does whenever her unnies does something questionable but unfortunately this time Siyeon managed to pick up what she said.

“Hey they’re ALL trainees so they ALL need to stay fit right? Win-Win situation I’d say!”

“I doubt meeting you would be counted as a win on their part Ddi Ddi.”

“Shut it coconut tree! Go be stupidly tall somewhere else why don’t you?!”

Yaebin continues finishing up the rest of her low-carb lunch while Siyeon and Kyungwon get into another shouting match. It’s a pretty normal scenario at this point, and Yaebin treasures every bit of normalcy she can get. Being a trainee is tough. She needs these little bonding moments with her friends to keep her sane.

“Newbie.”

Yaebin’s juicebox nearly goes flying out of her hand as she gets pulled out of her thoughts by the sudden voice calling her name from right behind her. She knows that voice. That beautiful, silky voice that can only belong to one person and based on the flabbergasted looks on her friend’s faces Yaebin was 100% certain her guess was correct.

Yaebin turned around to face the girl who called her name and she suddenly became lightheaded from all the oxygen being stolen from her in one shot.

Breathless. This girl always leaves her breathless.

“M-Minkyung-ssi—“

Minkyung cuts Yaebin off by waving a....granola bar in front of her face. A granola bar? What?

“That brand of granola that you’re eating . Tastes like cardboard and has too many empty calories. This one is better. I accidentally packed an extra.”

Minkyung’s explanation didn’t seem to make any more sense of the situation, leaving Yaebin to continue gawking at the beauty like an idiot. Growing impatient Minkyung begins to furiously shake the stick of granola in front of Yaebin’s face until the younger girl finally got the hint and took it from her.

“Thanks….” Oh crap she was blushing wasn’t she? She was blushing like an idiot. If Minkyung noticed it, at least the taller girl was nice enough to not comment on it.

“I’ll see you at practice later. You still at doing the choreo for the bridge part. Is it because the lessons have not been…hands-on enough for you?”

Yaebin’s jaw drops to the floor in shock. Minkyung heard her. Oh . Oh oh oh fu—

Yaebin would try to explain herself but the older girl had already begun walking away, turning around to flash Yaebin the most mischievous of smirks and it was so charming and adorable and devious that Yaebin’s heart stops beating almost immediately.

“I have been blessed. I feel like I actually have a shot at going to heaven now.” Siyeon sighs, watching Minkyung’s retreating figure disappear into the crowd.

“For a brief moment I swear I breathed the same air as her….normal air doesn’t taste the same anymore….” Kyungwon joined in as well, the duo finally agreeing with each other on something.

“She really is something isn’t she unnie?” Kyla asks, only to get no response from Yaebin. “Unnie? Unnie!! Guys I think Yaebin-unnie’s dead!! She’s not breathing!!”


 

*******************************************

Half a year.

Or more specifically, 7 months and 3 weeks.

That’s how long it’s been since Yaebin first walked through the heavy front doors of Pledis Entertainment as a trainee.

For someone who’s stuck around for this long, Yaebin still doesn’t know if this is what she wants to do in life. The one thing that couldn’t be denied however, is that she has been improving. At an exceptionally fast rate, if she were to quote one of the members on the Talent Relations team. Her growth rate, to put it into Sungyeon’s words, was ‘almost frightening’. Nayoung even declared once Yaebin entered her fifth month of training that she was a prodigy.

Yaebin doesn’t know much about being prodigious. All she knows is that being a trainee was the hardest thing she’s ever done in her life, but she’s found the enjoyable side of it. It’s fun to dance to a song, and to be able to perform actual choreography instead of just boucing around to a beat. It’s fun to sing, and have people tell her that she was pretty darn good at it. It’s fun to write lyrics and have the normally stone-faced Nayoung shed a tear as the leader reads Yaebin’s latest piece regarding unrequited love.

7 months and 3 weeks in, and Kang Yaebin has managed to gain the respect and recognition of her peers. Kyulkyung had probably accepted her into the group since day 1, knowing how friendly and approachable the Chinese girl is. Nayoung took some convincing, as Nana’s younger sister held higher standards when it comes to everything she does. An impromptu rap battle where Yaebin received the opportunity to flex her freestyling ability earned her a win over the leader, who in defeat declared Yaebin “a better rapper than she was”. Yaebin highly doubts that, but she still left the practice room that day with a smile as wide as the horizon.

Siwon, who had joined at the same time as Yaebin did, would gripe loudly that the shorter girl was getting too good too fast and that she should slow down and take a break sometimes. Yaebin had one time tried to sneak into the dance studio on the weekends to try and get some extra practice in only to find Siwon already in there, clothes drenched in sweat hinting that the girl had been practicing alone for hours. Yaebin would then pat Siwon on the back and tell her to follow her own advice with a laugh. They get along well.

Sungyeon, Yewon and Eunwoo had warmed up to Yaebin rather quickly, and by the second month of training the four of them had become almost inseparable. Always getting into trouble together, which then leads them to completing the punishments an annoyed Nayoung would assign them together. Yewon may look like a ball of sunshine but the little devilish grin that appears on the girl’s face whenever they sneak out of practice to eat something they weren’t supposed to made Yaebin realise that you really couldn’t judge a book by it’s cover these days.

The biggest irony of it all was that the girl that Yaebin spends the most time with in Pledis was the one that she is least closest to.

Not out of lack of trying, mind you. By gosh Yaebin tries. She tries so hard but Kim Minkyung just doesn’t seem to care for it. Sure there are times when Minkyung would nod or even smile at her with the tiniest hint of pride after Yaebin manages to pull off a particularly difficult portion of choreography but despite the two having spent the past 5 months staying back to practice together in Dance Studio 5, Yaebin was still not allowed to drop the honorifics when talking to the older girl.

Yaebin learns that this is just how it is, though she does get jealous whenever Minkyung and Siwon would converse with each other because there were no honorifics there AT ALL goddammit why does Minkyung hate her so much?!

Despite the apparent distance between them relationship-wise, Yaebin and Minkyung actually spend a lot of time together. Asides from the extra practice, they often duck out to the nearby street vendors and restaurants together to grab some dinner in between dancing and singing. They travel to Pledis from school together, and Yaebin even managed to convince Minkyung to follow her into the Last Kiss Creamery for a quick sundae.

Cathy had jokingly asked if Yaebin had brought her girlfriend along with her. Minkyung’s reply to that was a curt “I’ll wait outside. Find me when you’re done.”


Yaebin had left the shop with an extra cup of ice cream, hoping to treat the older girl to some dessert as an apology for Cathy’s joke but Minkyung had just waved her off with a soft smile, citing her diet as an excuse for refusing Yaebin’s kind gesture. Minkyung had the figure of a goddess however. Yaebin was certain that one cup of ice cream wouldn’t change much.


 

*****************************************************************


 

“Shall we take a break?”

Minkyung looked over in response, bent over with her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath from the rigorous practice. The song they were currently practicing was probably one of the hardest they’ve ever done, and they’re only an hour into their usual session of extra practice but both girls were already completely winded.

Nayoung was a sadist sometimes. Krumping to dubstep. Why must it be krumping of all things? And why couldn’t they krump to a song that had less than 120 bpm? Slow krumping. Yaebin was ready to make slow krumping a thing.

“Tired already, Newbie?” Yaebin was sure that Minkyung meant for that remark to sound mocking, but it was hard to feel offended when it was delivered by a girl who was wheezing.

Kim Minkyung even wheezes gracefully. How does one make dying from lack of oxygen look like an art form?

“Not at all.” Yaebin replied with a faux air of nonchalance. Fattest lie she’s told all summer. She wasn’t tired, she was nearly comatose. “....Feeling a little hungry though.” Yaebin adds offhandedly only to hear a scoff in reply.

“Weak.”

Yaebin was about to say something to defend herself but Minkyung’s stomach chose that moment to let out the most obscene growling noise Yaebin’s ever heard come out of a person.

The shorter girl’s eyes were wide as they darted to Minkyung’s face, who was blushing bright red and trying her hardest to look at anywhere but Yaebin.

“...Are you hungry too, or is that gas?”

“An idol doesn’t get gas!” Minkyung nearly shrieked at the insinuation, voice going uncharacteristically shrill.

“You can train yourself to not get gassy?”

Minkyung scoffed, still blushing. A blushing Minkyung was adorable, Yaebin decided. Still intimidating, but adorable as hell. “You can train yourself to do anything, Newbie. All it takes is dedication and hardwork.”

“Wow. Must be convenient, to not have to hold in a fart while you’re dancing.” Yaebin muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“So you’re hungry then?” Yaebin quickly asked, hoping to shift the topic away from dangerous (and embarrassing) territory, and just her luck Minkyung was all too glad to drop the topic as well.

“Well if you’re about to go on a dinner break, I might as well tag along.” Minkyung murmurs while flipping her hair, turning to pack her things and grab her purse from the gymbag by the corner.

Yaebin tries not to laugh at how Minkyung was making it seem as if she was begrudgingly following the younger girl to eat. Instead of making fun of the obviously hungry Minkyung who was walking out the door with a bit too much urgency for someone who “wasn’t hungry”, Yaebin chose to let Minkyung have the moment. She quickly ran to fetch her own purse before running out the door after her senior.

There was a running joke amongst the Pledis Girlz regarding how Minkyung doesn’t seem to ever eat. Pure exaggeration of course, but there were a few grains of truth sprinkled into the stories here and there.

For one, Minkyung does eat. She eats quite often actually. It’s the quantity of what she eats that warrants the rumour that Kim Minkyung starves herself to maintain her figure. One banana for lunch, no junk food at all, and strictly no desserts or cakes (which is the best part about being a teenager, if Yaebin was to be honest. Eating sweet things.)

Minkyung has a strict filter for everything that she consumes, except Yaebin starts to notice that the Beauty has an extreme fondness for Ramyun and coffee, the darker the latter the better. Yaebin isn’t even sure if the other girls know about Minkyung’s little indulges away from the world of healthy eating but the older girl doesn’t really keep it a secret anyway. Those two items seem to always be on Minkyung’s menu whenever the two of them take a dinner break from a punishing day of dancing.

As the two of them sit next to each other on a bench outside of a nearby 7 Eleven, taking in the warm summer breeze and holding a cup of instant noodles in their hands, Yaebin couldn’t help but feel at peace. They weren’t talking, and Minkyung would probably punch her in the face if she broke this silence by attempting to start a conversation but Yaebin liked it this way.

Watching Minkyung eat her noodles with a look of concentration on her beautiful face nearly made Yaebin laugh. The older girl was serious about her Ramyun. It was endearing. Everything about Kim Minkyung was endearing. Yaebin still hears random love songs playing in her ears whenever she’s alone with this goddess.

“Minkyung-ssi…”

“Hmm?” Minkyung hums in acknowledgement with a mouth full of noodles, eyes staring up into the night sky.

“Why do you want to be an idol?”

Minkyung doesn’t answer immediately. Instead she slurps the remainder of her noodles, tipping the cup back to empty it’s contents before washing it all down with some canned coffee.

Minkyung dabs at the corner of her lips with a tissue before turning to face Yaebin, a wry smile on her face.

“Kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”

Yaebin panics. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’ll shut up now.”

“Shutting up is good.”

They sit in silence once more, the only sounds being Minkyung taking tiny sips from her coffee and the occasional creaking of the wooden bench whenever Yaebin shifts her weight around to correct her posture. It’s gotten awkward again. Yaebin always makes things  awkward. She wonders how are they going to go back to practicing as per usual after this. The portion of the choreography they were practicing requires a partner, and it’s hard to partner up when one partner doesn’t want to talk to the other.

Maybe that was the reason why Minkyung was the first to break the silence. For the good of her idol career, and not because she felt bad for being mean.

“My mother.”

Yaebin blinks, not expecting Minkyung to answer her earlier question. Was this even an answer to the earlier question? Several minutes has passed since Yaebin first asked it that the younger girl couldn’t be sure if they were still on the same topic.

Yaebin repeats it tentatively, just in case. “Your mother?”

Minkyung nods once, takes a long swig from her can of coffee before she sets it down on the ground. The older girl’s fox eyes trains onto the night sky, seeing everything and looking at nothing all at once, seemingly lost in thought. Yaebin waits patiently for her to speak first.

“My mother was a singer.” Minkyung begins, eyes looking as if she wasn’t all there. No doubt reminiscing about her past. “She was a very good one too. Me and dad used to watch her perform in Hongdae, in café’s and street corners. It wasn’t much but…she looked so happy singing regardless of the venue. It was like nothing mattered to her as long as she got to sing.”

Minkyung paused to pop open another can of black coffee, taking a few sips from it before continuing her story.

“One day she landed a large gig. She was invited to become the opening act for Baek Ji Young at Jamsil Stadium. She was sooo happy. Baek Ji Young was her idol you see. Always listening to her…I can sing along to My Ear’s Candy in my sleep.”

At that statement a small smile tugged at the corners of Minkyung’s lips. Yaebin smiled slightly as well, seeing the content smile on the older girl’s face the entire night sky just seemed to light up at the sight.

And in effect the moment that smile dropped from Minkyung’s face a few seconds later, she took all the stars in the sky with her. Minkyung looked down at her lap, absentmindedly swirling around the contents of her canned drink.

“Then one day she got sick. She never told us, but me and dad could tell. Her body became thinner and her hair started falling…We told her to go see the doctor, begged her but she refused. Said there was no time, she needed to practice. The thing is though…although her body changed, the sparkle in her eyes still remained every time she sang.”

Minkyung paused, and Yaebin swore she saw the older girl’s lips tremble slightly. She cleared a few times and Yaebin wanted to tell the older girl that she didn’t have to continue but Minkyung just raised a hand, nodding a few times to tell Yaebin it’s fine.

That she’s fine.

“…She never made it onstage. The illness claimed her a few days before she was scheduled to go on. Dad…dad was so heartbroken. I promised myself that I needed to get on stage for her. I wanted to live her dream for her. Dad was so disappointed when I told him, but there was nothing he could do. He eventually just sighed and said that I was as pigheaded as mom.”

Minkyung laughed lightly as she concluded her story, turning her gaze upwards so that the light of the moon could reflect off the tears in her eyes that refused to fall to her cheeks. Minkyung was strong. She was so strong, and Yaebin was left in awe. For the first time Yaebin was able to see Minkyung with her walls down, a privilege she was sure not many people was so fortunate to experience. Yaebin wasn’t sure why the older girl had decided to share this with her tonight when she could have easily dismissed the question Yaebin had rudely asked her.

So this was why Minkyung was so hungry to debut. So this was why she hated Yaebin for making light of the entire idol process. When you have something that big weighing on your shoulders....Yaebin realised just how much of a fool she must have sounded like to Minkyung when they first met.

“You’ll debut!” Yaebin shouts, slamming her palm against the stretch of bench separating the two of them while Minkyung jumps out of her skin in surprise. “I promise you! I’ll get better and improve so that you can debut in a group! We’ll put you on a stage! You’ll get to live the dream! You’ll see!”

Minkyung’s eyes were wide as they studied Yaebin after the latter’s admittedly embarrassing and cringeworthy outburst. Minkyung had all the reason in the world to poke fun at Yaebin but instead the older girl’s features seemed to soften and for the first time since they first bumped into each other after Yaebin’s audition, those beautiful black eyes held no contempt within them.

“Why do you want to be an idol, Yaebin? Why are you still sticking around? It’s way past the normal time for people to start dropping out.”

Minkyung sounded amused, and Yaebin belatedly realises that that might have been the first time since she first walked into Dance Studio 5 that the older girl had referred to her by her name.

“I….” Yaebin hesitates, because for the longest time she herself did not know the answer to this question.

Until tonight that is.

“I want to see you debut. I’m sticking around so that I can see that happen. You’re like a firework caught in it’s barrel, locked and primed but not yet fired. I wanna be there when you shoot for the sky….I want to bathe in the sparks.”

“Living for somebody else isn’t exactly a comfortable way of living. I would know. You need some more purpose in life.” Minkyung replied, playfully chastising the younger girl but the smile on her beautiful face told no lies. Yaebin could see how the older girl was amused by her answer, which was a welcome reaction. A far contrast from the usual monotonous replies she usually gets from Minkyung.

“This is enough for now. I think I’m happy being a trainee if I can help you reach your goals Minkyung-ssi.”

“…call me unnie.”

Yaebin head snaps up so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash. Minkyung’s words were so soft, so gently spoken that Yaebin was pretty sure she had misheard the older girl but almost as if she suspects it herself Minkyung kindly repeats it for her again.

“You can call me unnie if you’d like, Yaebin.”

No mistaking it that time, and no mistaking the blush now colouring Yaebin’s cheeks. “Y-yes unnie!”

Minkyung laughed out loud as Yaebin dissolved into a stuttering mess infront of her. The sound of that laughter was as beautiful as the sky itself, and maybe it’s the songwriter in Yaebin but she could liken the sound of that laughter to a billion other beautiful things but none would even come close.

Kim Minkyung was otherworldly. The world slows down whenever Minkyung decides to move, as if pausing in awe of her grace and beauty.

“Say, what did you want to be before Mr. Jang picked you up from the streets?”

Yaebin snaps out of her daze as Minkyung directs a question to her, and she pouts when the question fully registers in her head. ‘From the streets’. Minkyung made her sound like a stray dog, and based from the cheeky laughter coming from the older girl, it must have been on purpose. Yaebin doesn’t mind the cheeky jab, but she does take a moment to recall her previous aspirations. It feels like it’s been forever since her dream’s have changed.

“….A journalist.”

Minkyung raised both her eyebrows at the answer. “You don’t say….”

“Yeah. Writing is my thing, y’know? We’ve all got that one thing we take pride in. Mine is my proficiency with the written word.”

“....I wonder what my one thing is.”

For the first time (tonight was a night of many firsts) Yaebin stares at Kim Minkyung as if the prodigious, talented, and beautiful girl she’s come to know and love was a total idiot, blabbering nonsense and spouting gibberish.

“Are you kidding me?! Have you watched yourself danc—I mean of course you’ve watched yourself dance, the studio is covered in mirrors. You’ve got this like...this aura around you! You move so beautifully I get angry at my body sometimes because I can’t even—can’t even muster 1% of what you can do!”

Minkyung stares at Yaebin dumbly at the end of her tirade, blinking several times in disbelief before the widest smile cracked across her face in amusement. Yaebin doesn’t peg herself as much of a comedian, but whatever she’s doing tonight seems to greatly entertain the goddess.

“You really think I look that good when I dance Yaebin?”

“I...Frankly I think you’re dazzling no matter what you do, unnie.” Yaebin looks down in embarrassment, futilely trying to hide the way her face has turned bright crimson.

“Big compliments from such a small girl.”

“...My height is a complex, unnie. It’s not nice to point it out....”

“I think your height suits you.”

“What does that even mean?!”

“It means....I think you’re kinda cute.”

Yaebin’s head snaps up at that remark and this time based on the sharp pain in her neck she’s pretty sure she just gave herself whiplash.

Did...Minkyung just....did Minkyu—was she flirting with her?

With HER??!!!!

“Wow. That’s a brilliant shade of red isn’t it?”

Yaebin whines, hiding her blushing face in her hands while Minkyung cackles manically from next to her.

“Please shut up, unnie. Let me die in peace.”

Minkyung did not shut up. She continued to tease Yaebin all the way back to their agency and they actually had to postpone practice to a later date because the two of them couldn’t seem to stop laughing at each other’s antics.

It wasn’t a mistake, going for that audition.

It wasn’t a mistake at all.

*******************************************************

Improving her skillset opens doors for Yaebin, she realises. She can now sing, to a pretty capable extent. She can now keep up with the rest of her peers when it comes to dancing, and all those months spent dieting and doing basic cardio has done wonders for little Yaebin’s physique. There were now abs visible under her loose tshirt, something that she never fails to take a second to appreciate whenever she’s in the shower. She now had muscle definition that made her look practically athletic, instead of someone who’s spent her whole life in a library. Dare she say it, she might even give Kyungwon a run for her money in the school beauty rankings.

She was still short as though.

With the increase in her skill level however, Yaebin’s eyes start to notice things that she otherwise wouldn’t have back when she was dumb and oblivious. Things that seemed to only matter once you’ve entered the upper echelon of training.

Yaebin starts to notice the sheer competitiveness within the training room.

Back then Yaebin’s only concern was herself, and how to improve her own lacking skills. Now that she’s done so, or maybe now that the rest of the training room starts to acknowledge her abilities, Yaebin notices that there’s always a pair of eyes watching her every move whenever she practices. Yaebin notices that everyone gets a lot more wary of others when the time for their monthly evaluation exams come by.

Frankly Yaebin hates it.

It gets exhausting. It gets stressful. It gets overwhelming, and she knows it’s not just her that feels it because one day after a particularly grueling practice session that threatened to break them all down physically and mentally, Siwon snaps and tells them all that she’s had enough.

“What?! No! You can’t leave! What about us?!” Yaebin was the first to voice out what everyone else in the room was thinking, though she probably executed it a few octaves higher (and louder) than anyone else would have.

“Look! All of you can tell that Pledis doesn’t have the funds to debut us all together right?! If they cut down the number of people in the debut group, where do I stand?! I have NOTHING going for me!” Siwon shouts back, waving her arms wildly to accentuate each point. She looked absolutely exhausted and frustrated.

“Don’t say that! Unnie you—“ Yewon begins but Siwon cuts her off, voice breaking as a sob threatened to spill out along with her anxiety and fears.

“All of you can see it can’t you?! It feels like there’s no point to this!”

“Siwonnie, that’s not—“ Kyulkyung tries but once again Siwon interjects, not even trying to listen to what they have to say as she voices the demons eating away inside her out in the open for the room to hear.

“I’m not the best singer here! I can’t even be made a rapper because Nayoung and Yaebin are better than me! Kyulkyung and Yewon can dance circles around me, heck I can’t even win in height either because both Nayoung and Minkyung have me beaten there! Aiming to be a visual is pointless because we are all good looking! What can I even do?!”

Siwon breaks down into tears and everyone else in the room watches on, not quite sure what to do.

It was Yewon, aggresively positive and uninvitingly friendly Kim Yewon that makes the first move. The brunette wraps her arms around Siwon’s trembling form and buries her face into the older girl’s shoulder in an attempt to get closer—to physically squeeze all the doubt out of Siwon’s body.

“Stay unnie. Please. Let’s debut together.” Yewon’s plead came out muffled but it was loud enough for the rest of the girls to take that as the cue to join in the hugging, creating an outpour of warmth to envelop Siwon.

“We’re in this together Siwon. We can’t make you stay, but we would be extremely glad if you did.” Nayoung says calmly, a voice of reason amongst the bawling in the room. It takes a moment, but Siwon eventually breaks her silence.

“…Okay.” Siwon nods once, an apologetic smile starting to spread across her features. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

*****************************************************************************

“—but you don’t really have to come up with a stage name if you don’t want to.”

“You can’t just give me a whole spiel about the necessities of having a stage name, just to end it with that unnie!”

Minkyung laughs. It was bright and airy, like fireflies in the summer. They were in the practice room again, just the two of them. Minkyung’s head was in Yaebin’s lap and the latter busied herself with running her fingers lazily through the older girl’s long black locks while Ed Sheeran plays through the speakers.

It’s been more than a year.

17 months and 2 weeks to be exact.

A lot has changed. Minkyung was no longer in highschool, and Yaebin was no longer struggling with balancing her life as a normal 17 year old student and her life as a trainee of Pledis Entertainment.

The biggest change however, was her relationship with Minkyung. The older girl was a lot more...softer with her now. Playful, and sometimes affectionate to the point that Yaebin’s heart would stop several times over as a result of Minkyung’s teasing. Fingers lightly brushing and quick pecks on the cheek was a common occurrence between them. Sometimes Yaebin wonders if she was just reading too much into the skinship and she was placing too much hope into an uncertain thing. Most times Yaebin chooses to not care and to live in the moment, in Minkyung’s warm arms.

17 months and 2 weeks in, and Yaebin still doesn’t know if being an idol is what she wants to be. What she does know however, with 100% certainty, is that she was ridiculously, and unabashedly in love with Kim Minkyung.

“I’m serious. I know for a fact that Nayoung and Eunwoo are just sticking with their original names when they debut. Of course, those two have always been boring as hell.” Minkyung proceeds to roll her eyes at the apparent lameness of their two aforementioned teammates.

“Sounds to me like you have yours all figured out unnie. C’mon, let’s hear it!” Yaebin giggled, poking the older girl’s cheeks with her fingers.

Minkyung smiled up at Yaebin before sitting up, obviously wanting to be level with the younger girl’s face so that she could properly gauge her reaction.

“Roa.”

Yaebin blinked, not quite sure if she heard what she was supposed to be hearing. “Come again?”

“Roa! Simple and elegant isn’t it? Easy to say too!”

Minkyung looked absolutely proud of herself for coming up with that name. Yaebin wanted to get with it, but she wasn’t really sure if she was missing something or not. What in God’s Blue Earth is a Roa?

“Return on…assets?” Yaebin responded uncertainly, that being the only ‘ROA’ she knows.

“What is that English nonsense you’re spouting?” Minkyung waved her off, smile falling slightly. “It doesn’t really have a meaning to it....I just like the way it sounds okay?”

Minkyung pouts and looks completely dejected. Gosh Yaebin hates herself right now. How could she put that frown on Minkyung’s beautiful features? This whole stage-name thing must mean more to the older girl than Yaebin thought.

“Roa….it does roll off the tongue nicely doesn’t it?” Yaebin tries to salvage the situation. She lies easily. Yaebin still prefers Kim Minkyung over Roa, and will probably forever prefer Kim Minkyung. Kim Minkyung was probably her favourite name in the history of things with names because it belonged to her favourite person.

Still, maybe she could live with calling Minkyung by her new name. Roa wasn’t so bad, especially since Minkyung seems to love it so much as evidenced by the -eating grin now stretching across the latter’s features at Yaebin’s acceptance of the name. She can learn to love Roa as she’s come to love everything else associated with the raven-haired beauty.

“See! It’s a great name!”

“....Come up with one for me.” Yaebin requests, seeing Minkyung’s face light up like the sun at the opportunity.

“How do you feel about Rena?”

Yaebin could only blink in amazement. “Wow, you came up with that one quick.”

Minkyung looks sheepish, scratching her cheek while blushing slightly. “....It’s been on my mind.”

“.....What does Rena even mean?”

“Nothing! C’mon Yaeb names don’t HAVE to have a meaning! Sometimes it just needs to sound nice!”

Yaebin pauses for a moment to let Minkyung’s words sink in. Names don’t have to have a meaning eh?

“....Can I be called KangYea West?”

“What? No. That’s horrible. That doesn’t sound nice at all.” Minkyung deadpans, looking as if Yaebin had just taken all the wind out of her sails.

“I’m a rapper though so it…sorta works.” Yaebin weakly tries to defend her piss-poor naming skills. “I need a rap name! I need a rap name and it has to be intimidating
and fierce!”

“You can’t be intimidating to save your life you piece of lint!”

“I’ll punch you in the face and stab you in the throat unnie.” Yaebin glares/tries her best to glare at Minkyung who just laughs at the younger girl instead.

Now that’s just rude. The least Minkyung could do was pretend to be intimidated. Instead Minkyung just laughs that obnoxiously beautiful laugh of hers while reaching out to grab Yaebin’s wrists, waving the shorter girl’s hands around while Yaebin whines in protest.

“Punch me? With these hands? With these tiny hands Yaebin?”

“STOoooOOOP~”

“What are these baby hands gonna do? You can’t even reach me from down there~”

“RAAAHHH!” Yaebin pushes forward in a weak attempt at fighting back, catching Minkyung off guard so the latter ends up with her back against the floor and Yaebin hovering over her, pinning her down.

Their position was compromising to say the least. Yaebin looked down and her face burned bright red upon realising just how close she was to Minkyung’s face. How Minkyung’s smile just screamed a dare that Yaebin would be too scared to take up.

“Was that your war cry?” Minkyung asks softly, barely above a whisper but her tone was dripping with teasing. She sees the blush colouring Yaebin’s cheeks, although such a brilliant shade of crimson would definitely be hard to miss.

“It was.” Yaebin nods, trying to back away to separate herself from Minkyung. To try and give herself some breathing space but Minkyung still had a vice grip on her wrists, making it dawn on Yaebin that she wasn’t going anywhere. She was putty in the Goddess’ hands.

“It’s a pretty cute war cry.”

“....It’s supposed to be intimidating.”

“Oh. Well, wanna give it another try?”

“No.” Yaebin tries her best to hide her face and to just somehow put an end to this situation altogether because being this close to Kim Minkyung was not healthy for her. She could feel her chest constricting and there were dark spots forming in the corners of her vision. Minkyung has a penchant for teasing the younger girl. Yaebin wishes she would stop because her heart can’t take all these games.

“C’monnn. One more time? For me?” Minkyung coo’s adorably. Yaebin sighs in defeat.

“…Raaaawrh.”

“Aigoooo~” Minkyung squeals, before pulling Yaebin down and in an impressive feat of strength, reverses their positions so that she was now on top, straddling a very embarrassed Yaebin. The smaller girl practically had tears in the corners of her eyes she was so embarrassed.

“One more time! Just one more time! Please?” Minkyung begged, pinning Yaebin’s arms above the latter’s head so she really didn’t have much say in the matter.

“….rarghh…”

Minkyung was laughing again, and it was starting to sound more and more like a cackle. “I’m shaking in my boots. Can you see Yaebinnie?! Just quivering in fear!”

Yaebin swallows as she takes in the sight of Minkyung hovering over her, the bright lights of the dance studio overhead shining through the gaps in Minkyung’s hair making the older girl look positively ethereal.

God, Minkyung was beautiful. She could repeat that a million times and it still wouldn’t do justice to the utter gorgeousness just within feet of her. Breathtaking. Stunning. Yaebin could run through all the words she knows in her vocabulary and she still wouldn’t be able to find the exact word to describe—

—to describe Kim Minkyung.

“...I don’t know about your boots. All I see right now is you, Minkyung-unnie.”

Yaebin’s confession couldn’t have been louder than a whisper, but she knows Minkyung heard it. She can tell by the gentle smile spreading across Minkyung’s face like oil on canvas, by the way a pink tongue darts out between Minkyung’s luscious lips to wet them, by the way the older girl’s fox eyes seem to twinkle in a way that was quite unfamiliar to Yaebin....

Minkyung leans down, eyes half-lidded as she turns her head to the side just enough so that their noses don’t touch and their lips were probably mere millimetres away from touching when Yaebin draws a sharp breath that causes the older girl to halt immediately.

“Are you nervous?” Minkyung asks softly, lips so close Yaebin could feel the question against her own lips.

“Yes.”

“Will this be your first time?”

“No, I’ve been nervous plenty of times.”

Minkyung lets go of one of Yaebin’s wrists to lightly smack the shorter girl on the shoulder. “Little punk.”

Yaebin had another witty reply at the tip of her tongue. She has a dozen in fact, a coping mechanism for whenever she gets nervous. Yaebin was always fast on her feet and quick with her quips but any remark she had at the ready was unable to leave her lips as Minkyung captures it with her own.

Yaebin has read an entire library in books. She’s written stories and poems, even songs about love. She’s watched movies and heard tales from her friends about the magic and brilliance of falling in love but none of that reading and writing could prepare her for the feelings that would stem from her first kiss.

It was soft and slow. Gentle even, but at the same time it was the most powerful and raw emotion Yaebin’s 17 year old body has ever experienced. There were no stars or fireworks or whatever else those cheesy Anne Hathaway movies would make her believe she would feel. Instead, there was just....Minkyung.

An overwhelming amount of Minkyung. The feel of Minkyung kissing her oh-so-gently she felt both fragile and safe. The feel of Minkyung’s hair as it falls against Yaebin’s cheeks. The smell of Minkyung’s sweat and shampoo so close to her. The taste of Minkyung on her lips. Everything was Minkyung. In that one brief eternity Yaebin’s entire world was just....

....was just Kim Minkyung.

And then she pulls away slowly, flashing that trademark cheeky smile while gently brushing stray strands of hair away from Yaebin’s face.

“T-t-that was a first for that. Yes. T-that was....” Yaebin starts, but she never really gets anywhere. Her train of thought just....disappears partway through but Minkyung just caresses the younger girl’s cheeks with a thumb, telling her that she understands. She gets it.

“Did my beautiful lil rapper enjoy that?” Minkyung asks, looking down at Yaebin with so much adoration that she was...Minkyung was looking at her the same way she’s always looked at Minkyung.

Yaebin was so happy she could cry, but instead she nods in reply to Minkyung’s question. Nods, because for the life of her there’s no way she could function well enough to form any coherent speech.

It was enough of a reply for Minkyung, who just nods in turn and releases both of Yaebin’s wrists so that she could cup the shorter girl’s cheeks.

“Good. Here comes another.”

And before Yaebin could even process another thought, they were kissing again. This time slightly rougher, more passionate as Minkyung’s expert tongue slips between Yaebin’s inexperienced lips in a battle of one-sided dominance. Yaebin’s hands find purchase on Minkyung’s hips while the taller girl had begun exploring more brazen territory, freely caressing Yaebin’s abs under the girl’s loose tshirt.

Minkyung pulls away at the first sign of a moan leaving Yaebin’s lips to admire her handiwork. Yaebin was a mess. A disheveled mess, and Minkyung smirks in satisfaction before leaning down to whisper into Yaebin’s ear.

“....I think I’ve found my thing.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello!

Wow! It's been awhile, hasn't it? Apologies for the super late update! See, I'm never good with managing my time. Being work and stuff, I always have trouble updating continuously, so I decided that I should try to finish writing this fic before updating it, just so that I don't have to worry about managing my time.

I haven't completed the fic though. I'm halfway through writing the last chapter, but I felt that I needed to publish an update today because of Pristin's 1 Year Anniversary, so here you go! The next update will (hopefully) be in a week. Hopefully. 

This chapter has been sitting in my Microsoft Word since November. I feel awful. Also, I reread my first chapter to this fic and GOOD GOD the first chapter of this is horrible isn't it?! What a mess! I'm sorry! It's a wonder how y'all even managed to power through that and still willing to come back for the second chapter.

Thank you so so much for being patient and for reading this. <3 <3

I'm proud of this chapter. I'm VERY proud of this chapter. I had a dumb grin throughout while proof-reading this chapter, so I kiiiinda hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do.

leave a comment telling me if you did! I'll greatly appreciate it! <3 

Thanks for being patient!
 

Oh and also:

oh yes.