The kiss. I can't stop thinking about it. That was my first kiss and that sneaky bastard stole it just like that. Whenever I see that Choi Sungyoon, I can't get it off of my mind. Why is it that a man I never knew existed until that day would be my first kiss?

It was magical, with the full moon and all. With tears and sadness. Full of hope and longing. But I can't stop hating that moment. . .

And why is it that I see him everyday? He's everywhere and I don't even know anything about him. He knows everything about me and my mind keepsnon being curious about him. No. I won't let him inside my heart, I'm to broken and tired of all the of the world that I do not need someone like him to break me further.

I should be thinking about the lab report that I will submit today and my mind is not working properly. I smash the keyboard as I type the discussion part for the results. Even if I hate what I'm doing, at least my mind can be occupied by something else other than Choi Sungyoon.

I've been wanting to do this. His eyes were full of longing and desire that I want to smack my head to the nearest wall whenever I space out and imagine how wonderful he looks like under the moonlight.

If my brain is capable of shutting down, I need it to shut the up about Sungyoon.

I went to the library and printed my report. In this world where everything's supposed to be transferred virtual, there are still those who live in the jurasic era.

After I've submitted my report, I walked around the campus. I have nothing else to do and everytime this happens to me I feel alone and lonely. Yes, there are people in my life whom I can spend time with, but I don't feel like they want to listen to me ranting about my problems.

My phone suddenly rings and of course it was my mother. The whole day I ignored her texts and calls because all she talks about are the problems back at home. If there is something about being this university that I like, it is that I can stay away from home and try to escape whatever bull life has to offer.

I answered the phone, trying my best not to sound annoyed. Of course, i failed once again. I listen as they enumerate all the problems that they have. From the real big problems, until the petty ones. During these times, I ask myself, when will I have that peace of mind. When will my life change?

The call ended with them asking if I will go home the next weekend, I tried to rack my brain with any requirements or meetings that I should go to just to avoid going home.

I asked that my mind be occupied so that I won't think of that incident but now, i feel like the kiss wasn't a bad thing at all.

And I'm back here again, the rooftop where it all happened. This is my sanctuary, the only place where I can stay and no one would bother me. If I could just freeze time and stay here forever, I will.

It's still early, 4:43 pm. It will be more than an hour before I can see my beloved sunset. I'm at the edge again, and I don't know if I should think jumping again. I decided to wait for the sunset. At least, i can hear my thoughts clearly whenever I watch and wait for my dreadful day to end.

"I'll be there if you think about killing myself again." Those were his words. He said those and now I want him here. Now I'm waiting for him to save me again.

I stared at the world down there. It feels great to be up here, with the wind gently passing through my face. My hair dancing with the breeze. The only thing hurting my eyes is how bright the world appears even if deep inside me, my soul lies in a big dark wolrd. I took a black cap inside my bag and hide my face with the shade it provides. When I feel like my eyes are fine, i took my sketch pad and try to draw the last dream I have.

The cliff. The wide sky now painted with gray. A sad and lonely atmosphere brought upon by the clouds crying. The blue waves crashing at the bottom of the cliff that looks almost the same shade of gray as it reflects the sorrow of the sky. The big rocks where I imagine my bones and insides would shatter in a million pieces when I hit the bottom. It was a beautiful scene, and the only thing left for me is to be there, falling.

I peel off the drawing, it was beautiful. I stare at it and lift it up against the vast sky. The sun will soon set and I still can't convince myself what to do.

Then the wind blew, my artwork escaped my small hands and I tried to reach them. I knew I would fall but I don't care anymore. That was my life, flying away from me. Then I felt strong hands in my waists again.

I stared at the man who's holding me, the man who's keeping me grounded at this rooftop. I'm alive. I didn't fall.

"I told you I will be there when you think of killing yourself." Sungyoon smiled. It felt like if I would stare at him longer I would go blind.

"Wait. How?" I asked.

"I saw you in my dream of course. I tried to stay away from you because I know you're trying to avoid me but I can't stay away when you are here jumping just to chase a paper." Sungyoon looked annoyed and pissed at me.

When I regained my composure, Sungyoon released me from his grip. I walked a few steps away from him because I don't want him to go kissing me again.

"You. You still dream about me?" I asked.

"Yes. And I don't even know how to stop you from messing with my mind."

The sun was already gone and the light slowly succumbs to the darkness. I was scared of something I can't point out. Maybe I am scared with Sungyoon. But why?

"You know that I want to avoid you. How?"

"You keep on saying 'Why would he kiss me? Sungyoon can you get out of my mind'. If that's not enough for me to understand that you don't want to see me, i don't know what is.


"But you were all around campus!" Ahhh. I hate myself for asking these nonsense questions.

"Well, I go here too so of course you will still see me. It's not my fault that you keep on noticing me." A smirk grew on his lips, oh god those lips. I can't believe that those lips had touched mine.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do you want another kiss?" Sungyoon teased.

"Arrrrgh." I covered my face with my hat. I don't know what this is but it feels like the universe is messing with me when they sent me this guy to save me.

"Okay, sorry. That was too much I guess." He grabs my hand and exposed my face. His hands were gentle like he was handling something fragile.

"Can we, uhm start over again? Because I really believe that I should do something with these dreams." He said.

"Well, I don't know anything about you." I said.

"Well." Trying to mimic me. "We can do something about that." He pats my head and I just stared at him as he tells me about his plan.