'dear present' #1: disillusioned

Part of Your World

(Context: 1 year before the start of 'Interference', when Nayoung is in her last year of high school.)

"Unnie," Nayoung's eyes show no emotion, her face is frozen and the only things moving are her lips as she speaks dully and weakly, "do adults get lost and feel like crying too?"

Mimi narrows her eyebrows, puzzled, and turns to face Nayoung. Nayoung does not move at all, and her facial expression hasn't changed since Mimi arrived at the bench below their block at their apartment complex. However, unsurprised as she's already sensed something in Nayoung's voice from the earlier phone call to meet her in the night, Mimi replies casually, "You should ask one."

"You're one," Nayoung looks down, combing her hair to the back of her head as she mumbles.

"Do I act like one?" Mimi almost chuckles when she says.

"That's true," Nayoung continues speaking without any life in her voice.

"That's not a very nice thing to agree to," Mimi wrinkles her nose in response.

"You said it yourself," Nayoung replies after a sigh, the umpteenth one she's heard that night. 

"Alright, okay," Mimi gives in; the atmosphere provides no space for arguments.

"I'm lost," Nayoung says, "and perhaps tired. My heart's tired. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I'm so done with everything. And then the adults will say, everything we're facing is so small, so little and unimportant and we shouldn't let them affect us, because things are bigger in the real world. And these things we're facing aren't real; because we're not in the real world yet. And they say, we have to get ready to face the real world. We have to be good, grow up, so we can face real things. What if I don't want that? What if, everything I'm feeling now is real? My emotions are real, no one deserves to say that anything I experience or feel right now isn't real. No one should ever say my life right now isn't real life. I hate reality, not because it's not a fairytale- because they've given reality such a skewed, convoluted definition and are expecting us to grow and fit nicely into their moulds. But I'm sorry, I can't do that," Nayoung finally says her part.

Mimi eyes Nayoung's dropping head and nods. "They're not real. They hide whenever they're sad, they pretend they don't want to cry. But tears are natural- no one was born without tear glands. And the feeling of being lost is real, the feeling of being sad is real, they just don't want to admit it because it's easier that way- but since when did real life become 'easy life'? But like you said, it's a messed up definition created by messed up people who think they've grown up when in all honesty they're not closer at all to true understanding compared to us," Mimi pours her heart just as Nayoung has done.

"You don't know what you're saying," Nayoung finally seems more at ease. She almost wants to laugh, but she's afraid that when she does the pain will swamp her once again.

"You don't know what you're saying," Mimi throws the statement back at her, "I major in journalism and I know very well what my words mean. You do only math-"

"But hey, I am good with words," Nayoung interrupts Mimi with impudence mirroring the latter's.

"When did you become like me?" Mimi's gaze turns into a slight glare. "But I'll let you off tonight. You're not bad with words," Mimi, in contempt, refuses to look at Nayoung, "for a math student."

Nayoung opens and wants to correct something, but doesn't know how.

Mimi, realising this, continues speaking, "Right. Future math student. Let's get that right, you have your dreams about everything you can be, but we both know that you want to study something you love when you get to university next year and all the fits will definitely contain math."

Nayoung purses her lips together, unsure if she wants to thank Mimi for always understanding her, or if she's irked by the fact that there's nothing ever that she can get past Mimi.

"I've been different tonight, so let's be different together and you should thank me for the first time-"

"I've always had a habit of thanking you! We're different in that aspect," Nayoung, who was first stunned by Mimi reading her mind once again, manages a rebuttal at Mimi's words that have once again turned sharp.

Mimi chuckles. "Alright, but I have to thank you too," Mimi speaks with a smile that Nayoung sees a million emotions in. For being like a part of me, and for being a part of my life, Mimi thinks but says, "for sharing my emotions," which isn't untrue either.

Nayoung flashes a similar smile. "Thank you," she says, tilting her head sideways.

"You're really tall now," Mimi suddenly points out, "you suddenly grew really tall."

Mimi wants to laugh when she sees a flash of annoyance in Nayoung's eyes, who then replies, "It's been a long time now, why are you mentioning it again?"

"Just be happy that I'm complimenting you for being tall," Mimi says to which Nayoung agrees that she was indeed delighted to hear the compliment. "How tall are you already? 170? Still growing?"

"170," Nayoung nods, "not sure if I'm still growing."

"Well, that's alright," Mimi says, "look at Sojinnie who's a giant baby yet still growing."

"Sojinnie?" Nayoung narrows her eyes.

"Sejeong's schoolmate for five years. You know her, don't you?" Mimi replies and questions.

"I've just never mentioned her name before, and I've never heard you mention her before," Nayoung answers.

"That's true," Mimi nods her head. "Well, I hope you'll get a good sleep tonight after getting things off your chest and fix those black eye rings," she says while standing herself up from the low stone bench, "I've got a submission on Monday and I want to look at it again."

"Thank you, unnie," Nayoung smiles and follows suit, standing herself up to half a head taller than the older girl. Despite that, Mimi raises her hand and pats Nayoung on the head- a rare touch of affection that Nayoung appreciates and regards as most apt for the night.

"It's nothing," Mimi shakes her head, "go home and don't watch dramas into the night, don't do any practice questions, just start working hard again tomorrow," Mimi unexpectedly begins to nag.

"Arasseo," Nayoung almost rolls her eyes, while her lips curve into a small smile.

"See you tomorrow if I do," Mimi smiles.

"It's the weekend, we probably would," Nayoung casually states.

"Well then, we'll see Sejeong too," Mimi adds.

"Alright," Nayoung smiles again, "See you if we do."

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corinneniix
im guessing there might be more nayoung x mimi to come than najeong but not to worry i actually do have najeong in store too :")

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shinrabansho-
#1
NICE ONE