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Moon

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Jonghyun looks at the paper pinned at a huge board in front of him. There are so many papers on it, but he chooses to focus only on one, the one which announces the change on the night shift for part-timer in campus library. Bitter smile is shown on his face because his name is on it. It doesn’t matter if it is at night, but at the end of the hour. Jonghyun sighs. The ups are sometime, or often, don’t think about the condition of the part-timers. They milk their energies as they like. Some of his part-timer colleagues are complaining at him, no, the truth is they are complaining at each other. Part-timers are in no place to complain to the ups though. Part-timer’s job is to complete the works of the ups. Well, despite those complain, the most important thing is the salary. Such a capitalist mind, but he can do nothing. He needs the money for his living. He can’t always leech to his parent as he is getting bigger and university cost really high, especially here in Seoul.

Someone pats his shoulder. It’s Aron, one of his colleagues and his senior by two years. They study at the same faculty, but have different major. His is Broadcasting, while Aron takes Journalism. Now he is in his last year and he has to finish his study soon. Last year means no classes, so Aron chooses to work here, in library, to fill up his free time and at the same time doing his job as student.

“What is it?” Aron asks with his hand still on Jonghyun shoulder.

“Shift.” Jonghyun answers briefly.

Aron starts to laugh which makes Jonghyun starts to question him. Nothing is funny with this schedule though. “Jonghyun, yours.” He starts to laugh again, pointing at Jonghyun’s name on the paper.

“Ah, hyung…” Jonghyun starts to feel annoyed by Aron’s laugh. “How about a switch?”

“Thanks, but no.”

“Hyung…”

“No,” Aron shakes his head. He still stands strong at what he said earlier, not wavering even a bit by Jonghyun’s puppy eyes. “I’ve been on that time once and I don’t want to work at that time again.”

“Hyung, I have night classes.” Jonghyun says with stuttering voice as he holds Aron hand.

“You are lying.” Aron snaps.

“No!”

“Just bear with it. The shift starts next week though. You can prepare your courage.”

Jonghyun shrugs in disbelieve, wanting to accept his fate, but cannot. He just sees Aron waving his hand as he leaves him. He can’t force his responsibility to others though, so if Aron doesn’t want to switch, he can do nothing, but to do his responsibility alone. It is the way he takes, so he should do it with no regret. Okay, Kim Jonghyun. Just do it.

***

The live of a part-timer always like this; class, eat, work, sleep. Or is it only him who lives like this? He laughs. People put their hang out time in between those activities. It’s only him who doesn’t. He realizes that he doesn’t have that much friends to hang out with. It isn’t that he doesn’t have one, he has, but it’s only a few and his friends are usually busy when he is free. So, he ends up sleeping in his room, reading comic books or playing games to fill up his free time. He sighs. He wants to hang out sometime, camping with his friends, talking through the night in front of a campfire and looking at the star in the sky. It would be a great time out.

Jonghyun take the books that are left on the library table and puts them in the cart. He should make sure that no books are left alone in the table. As he is pushing the cart, he passes by an acquaintance and gives a little smile, though the smile never goes back to him. Four times he met his acquaintances, only once he got the smile back. No problem, there is still good person who is quiet kind to smile back. Maybe the other didn’t see his smile.

Jonghyun hears someone rings the bell from the front desk. He pushes the cart back to the front desk, responding the person who wants to borrow a book she has on her hand. He walks slowly towards the desk, crossing the aisle, but unfortunately trips and the cart goes alone, going to crash on someone. He closes his eyes because he doesn’t have the courage to see the man getting hit by the cart.

“You okay?” ask someone as Jonghyun open his eyes. It’s the person who just got hit by the cart.

“Yes.” Jonghyun answers briefly. “I’m okay. Don’t worry.” He sweeps the dirt on his knees. “Are you okay?” He looks at him, searching if he is hurt. “Sorry for the trouble.” Jonghyun apologizes, he feels guilty for what has happened on him because of his fault.

“Yes, yes. No worries. You are the one who gets hurt here.”

“No, no. I’m good.” The man nods and goes to find his book after Jonghyun, once again, apologizes.

Jonghyun reaches the desk. He smiles to the girl instead of the pain on his knee, “Sorry for waiting.” He says, “Which one of the book do you want to borrow?” The girl gives two books in her hand to him.

***

As Jonghyun typing his homework, he looks at the clock in the corner of the room. The sky is getting darker and there is no one in the room. Of course, it is almost eleven and he should close this room then go home. He turns off his pc and puts all his belongings into his bag. After he checks every side of the room, he switched off the lamp and locked the door. He goes down to the lobby, but remembered that he left his phone on his desk.

He unlocks the door, comes in to the dark room to take his phone. He gets the phone in no time because the phone is clearly on the desk. He immediately goes out of the room, but he sees several books on the table. He remembers that he has put all the books to its place, but maybe he forgets.

He takes all the books on his hand, bringing them back to the bookshelf. He will be scolded if someone found there are books that are left out in the table. When walks toward the books’ bookshelf, he should find no one there, but the reality gives him goosebumps.

At three past eleven, someone standing in front of the window, showered by the light of the full moon. Her eyes under the shadow of her soft black hair shine brightly as she is so captivated by beauty of the moon above her. Though grief is reflected on her face, she still pulls a little smile on her pink lips. When she starts to open like she wants to begin a conversation with the moon, Jonghyun makes a really loud noise by dropping the books in his hand.

“Ah,” Jonghyun starts to panic. He curses at himself for being so stupid and clumsy. He stubbornly tries to take the books from the floor, but ends up dropping the other books in his hand. “Sorry.” Jonghyun apologizes. He feels like he has disturbed her alone moment and it is embarrassing, both for her and him.

The girl by the window stares at him with judging eyes. She takes a step closer to Jonghyun, but pulls it back as she heads to the door. “No need to be sorry.” She says calmly while walking towards the exit.

Jonghyun looks at her until she is gone. Just before, her voice sounded reassuring, despite her judging stare. Her tone was not like someone who was mad. It sounded like there was a bit of sorry in her voice. He doesn’t know if it is true or not, but it feels, somehow, like that. She doesn’t need to be sorry though. He is the one who should be sorry to her.

He sighs. Yes, he is the one who should say sorry to her. Earlier is a rush and he doesn’t think that it was a sincere apologize. He should find her, apologize in front of her face and give back the ‘no need to be sorry’ to her. He needs to, she doesn’t.

Where should he find her then?