PICK UP - - hocbaidi
SIMPLICITY - - - HIATUS (read Announcement for more info)
Please log in to read the full chapter
simplicity
editing (beta) and reviewing shop
progress prices rules
hocbaidi - Just A Cruel Game
Notes - Review by jennay523
Likes
I like the fact that you put the setting at the beginning of the story in chapter one. It helps the reader really visualize where the story takes place. It also gives the story a reality-like vibe, even though it’s in the fantasy genre. I also liked the back and forth between Minah and Jungkook in chapter two when they were arguing but snapping at each other simultaneously. 😊 You can really tell form the way you write the story that Minah and Jungkook have that “we’re not really friends but we can tolerate each other” vibe. This happens more often after they leave the bottle at the end of chapter two/beginning of chapter three. Even though Jungkook seems to not really have an interest in Minah, his character really does seem to have taken an interest in her because of how he is when he snaps slightly. He gets mad and annoyed at her but at the same time, the reader can tell that he really enjoys being around her. I like the fact that you developed the relationship/friendship between these two characters so early in the story because it helps them get through annoying each other by the time you get to chapter five. It also helps the story flow a lot easier.Dislikes
The only thing that I didn’t particularly like (and this is because it was confusing) is the part of the story where you descri
Please log in to read the full chapter
Comments