-1-

Not everyone gets happy ending. Not everyone ends up being together with the person they desire. Not everyone wakes up to someone looking up to them, caressing their face, greeting them, “Good morning babe”.

Because not everyone is as fated.

Nayeon is one of those people.

Since 3 years ago, when she saw the girl alone in the practice room, dancing till 3am in the morning, she knew she was different. An unfamiliar face. Yet it was pleasing; soothing in a way. The way she moves her hand side to side, legs moving in perfect synchronisation as the music in the background... it was out of the world. Elegant was an understatement. She looked... ethereal.

(ethereal’s an understatement, too)

The unfamiliar faced girl must’ve just joined the dance club. But that doesn’t mean that she’s any less good than the current members. Nayeon could clearly see how sharp her moves were and how the transitions were nothing but smooth. Nayeon was mesmerised. Not to the point of falling in love at first sight though, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Being the oldest (not exactly the wisest) member in the club, she decided to take the initiative to approach the mysterious girl first. After all, there’s nothing wrong with being friendly right?

“Hello! You must be new here. My name is Nayeon, the oldest around here.” She introduced herself rather enthusiastically, with her hand outstretched. The girl - currently sitting on the dance floor cross legged after the intense practise - looked up while dabbing away the perspiration threatening to drip down her face. She studied Nayeon’s face. A new friend, perhaps?And so she smiled her gummy smile and took Nayeon’s hand in hers.

Although it wasn’t “love at first sight” for Nayeon, she felt something growing in the pit of her stomach as her fingers, then palms, came into contact with hers. She knew at this moment that seeing her everyday would be the best thing - this girl definitely made her feel things.

“Myoui Mina. From Japan.”

3 months.

Everyday after Mina’s dance practice, Nayeon would walk Mina back home. Mina’s a foreigner, so it wouldn’t be safe for her to go back alone. I mean, that’s what friends do (or at least, what 18 year old Mina thought). She thought this was a culture that’s practiced in Korea, so she didn’t think much about it.

Not until she met 21 year old Hirai Momo, also from japan, also attending the same dance club.

Also waiting for her. But only after 1 practice session.

Yet Mina felt something for Momo.

And Nayeon felt that too. Mina made it way too obvious. Her usual walks with Mina turned into walks with, well, herself. A habit that’s been practised without fail everyday for the past 3 months got ripped away from you in just a day. It is not that easy to get used to.

Just how did she not see the signs?

Did I not make them obvious enough?

Is she just... too dense?

Thoughts like these run around her head all day, giving her endless headaches. She pondered a while more.

Goddamn it Im Nayeon. 3 months. She definitely saw the signs but just doesn’t like you.

Stop deceiving yourself.

It’s time to stop.

You know it.

Yeah. Nayeon knows it all too well. But does she want to stop?

No. Not now. Not yet.

It’s winter now, about a month later. Staying within the confines of her tiny room, she scrolled through her instagram, and that’s when she stumbled upon a picture of...

Mina, her arms wrapping around Momo’s waist, palms pressing on her lower back. Her head was tilted upwards (Momo‘s taller than Mina), gazing into Momo’s eyes, and the corners of her lip were raised slightly. She looked like she was immersed under Momo’s loving stare.

She looks happy.

Then she swiped right.

This time, Momo’s head dipped downwards. Mina’s heels pointed upwards. Momo’s hands were on Mina’s waist. Mina’s hands were... cupping Momo’s face. Eyes shut, Momo captured Mina’s mouth in her own. As if the picture came to life, Nayeon imagined how Mina would slowly move her hands to Momo’s neck, wrapping around it; pulling her closer and kissing her more passionately. How she will slowly part her lips and allow Momo’s tongue to explore it as it is. Raw but sweet. With a hint of strawberry chapstick as she bites Mina’s lower lip, both of them smiling into the kiss, contented to just be together in each other’s arms.

She’s beautiful.

Of course, Nayeon knows deep down in her heart that she could never be Momo. She’s not good enough.

I’m not good enough. I’m not Hirai.

Then she reads the caption underneath the post.

“First snow of 2017, well spent with the love of my life <3“

That’s when Nayeon realised the snow surrounding the said couple in the picture. She focused so much on the both of them to realise that it’s actually snowing.

It looks 10 times as romantic now.

Nayeon slowly tore her curtains apart, and there it was. White snow gently floating down, creating a puffy ground. It looks soft and tender (like Mina). Of course it’ll be nice to go out with some friends to play now, but Nayeon only wanted to be with Mina. But Mina only wanted to be with Momo. As peaceful as it may seem, Nayeon was hurting deep down.

Switching her phone off, she tossed it aside and sought solace under her blanket she once thought she’d be able to share with Mina.

She knew she was a mess (and she still is). Mina was never hers to begin with. It was all her; solely her one-sided feelings. And Mina never gave her hopes of reciprocating these feelings nor did she heighten her expectations. Mina was just being... Mina, yet there’s something in Nayeon that’s possessive over her. Hence even after months of waiting, she can’t seem to shake of those relentless feelings she has for Mina - she probably wouldn’t be able to shake it off any time soon.

Especially not when she heard her phone ring all of a sudden.

Grudgingly, she uncovered herself from under the sheets. “Myoui <3” was written across the screen. Without hesitation, she pressed her thumb on the answer button.

“Hey Nayeon! Have you seen the snow yet? It’s really beautiful!”

Just by hearing Mina’s soothing albeit excited voice made Nayeon’s heart skip a beat. She sounds as adorable as ever. Her lips formed a smile that’s a mixture of sadness, but contentment too.

“Yeah... I just saw it through my window. It’s gorgeous.” Like you. She didn’t say that out loud though.

“You mean you’re not outside now?”

“As usual, I’m a homebody. Being alone is my thing.”

“Aww come out soon you lazy ! It’s the first snow! Spend it with someone special.” Mina took a short pause. When she came back to the phone, Nayeon could hear her smiling through her words. “You know there’s a belief that if you confess to the special someone on the first snow, the person will like you back?”

“I have no —”

As Nayeon was about to finish her sentence, she heard Momo in the background, “That’s hella true! She loved me back!”. It hurt Nayeon so, so bad.

Really bad.

But it was followed by Mina’s laughter: a continuous chain of tiny chuckles, and small breaths taken in between. It sounded like an actual song - a melody - to her ears (Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 probably). It’s been long since Nayeon heard a laughter that made her feel tingles everywhere around her body. A laughter that sounds so endearing and contented. Nayeon was trying really hard not to let her heart shake even more, but it’s really hard. Every little thing Mina did made Nayeon’s heart flip in every way possible, so trying the suppress the urge to not just confess to Mina right then was torturous. And so she hung up. Shut her mind out.

You can’t do this Nayeon.

Especially when Momo is your teammate.

No betrayal, Nayeon.

But the sound of Mina’s laughter just kept replaying in her head and she really couldn’t stop herself from falling deeper into this toxic trance. So she did. She fell deeper.

No one can afford to know about this though. Momo is her teammate, and Nayeon felt that it’s just downright wrong to fall in love with your own teammate’s girlfriend.

Although, there’s nothing she can do about it. It’s uncontrollable. Nayeon shouldn’t be put to blame.

But it’s her fault for not letting Mina know first.